7 Things I’d Tell My Teenage Self

This is a video for teenagers.

It’s the beginning of a new school year, and so for this week’s video I wanted to things that I know I would have benefitted me as a teenager.

What would you tell yourself if you could go back?

Here are the 7 things I’d tell my teenage self…

1) Take risks

Try new things. We’re always going to be able to talk about the things we did, but never able to talk about the things we didn’t do.

We tend to carry on in school the way we started. It’s easy for an identity to be created by the way that other people see us. Don’t let yourself get pigeon-holed.

2) Be careful who you’re trying to impress

There are people right now (whether consciously or unconsciously) you’re trying to impress.

Be very careful about this.

If you could see where these people were going to be in ten years time, I guarantee you would re-evaluate who you’re trying to impress.

3) Trying to get invited to the party doesn’t get you invited to the party

One of my big insecurities in school was wondering whether or not I’d be invited to parties.

Being invited to parties is the byproduct of being the type of person that other people want to spend time with.

Focus on being someone that other people love spending time with.

4) Ignore people’s first reactions

When we do something new, we fear people are going to look at us strangely.

People who get acceptance are the ones who don’t need it.

If there’s something you want to do, do it regardless of what others might think. When you ignore their reactions, you’ll get over the initial period of discomfort and to a point where they accept how you now are.

5) School can suck

A lot of school is doing things you don’t want to do.

Studying things you don’t want to study, hanging around people you don’t want to hang around, listening to teachers you don’t want to be around…

And a myth in life is that that all changes; that when you begin doing what you love, you’ll be able to stop doing things you don’t love.

Sadly, it doesn’t quite work like that.

I’ve found in my life that even though I do the thing I love more than anything else in the world, there are plenty of things I still have to do that aren’t things I love.

The art is finding a way to enjoy whatever it is you’re doing.

When you’re doing the things you don’t want to do, can you figure out new ways of enjoying doing those things?

If you can, you’re going to be happy for the rest of your life.

6) See everything as a stepping stone

Many people resent jobs they do because they don’t feel they’re getting them closer to where they want to be.

The most successful people I’ve met have done a number of different jobs that had nothing to do with where they ended up.

But rather than viewing these things as a waste of time, they saw everything as a stepping stone.

Don’t fret that right now you’re going into something that isn’t exactly where you want to be.

The wrong job before the job you’re passionate about can have been the right job at the time. The wrong job can be a blessing when it teaches you more about what you want and where you want to go.

7) Enjoy being young, but think like an adult

When you’re a teenager, people are trying to lay down all sorts of rules around you.

But an adult treating you like a kid doesn’t mean you have to rebel like a kid.

You can still make the smart choice, by doing what’s best for you.

Don’t rebel just because you want to get back at someone.

You need to go out and mess up. Just stay within the realm of making mistakes that you can recover from. Make mistakes that aren’t going to kill you or stop you from building the future you want to have.

So there you have it. My 7 tips.

Leave a comment below to let me know what you think!

And if you’re an adult, leave a comment with the one thing you would tell your teenage self that you know would have made life better.

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

267 Responses to 7 Things I’d Tell My Teenage Self

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  1. Miranda says:

    To respect myself and don’t change anything I want, just to get love. I,

  2. Flavia says:

    Very beautiful video. I wish i had known this when i was a teenager.
    I would tell my insecure teenage self that it’s okay to be who you are, say what you mean and do what you want. It’s okay to reach out and be nice to those persons who are being made fun of by everyone, it’s okay to not make fun of your teachers if you feel it’s wrong, it’s totally okay to be different.
    It’s funny how things that looked cool to teenagers always felt wrong to me :-( but i did them anyways.
    Thanks Matthew, you’re awesome.

  3. Jewel says:

    I would love to tell my teenage self i love her soooo much and cant thank her enough for every mistake she did.

    What you said was true everything is a step stone, so guys dont be disappointed

  4. moviestarplanet android hack says:

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  5. Rose says:

    I just graduated from Stanford. I’d tell my teenage self two things:

    1. Vibrators are amazing. Try a few.
    2. Learn to code.

    Matt, I want your response on point #1. No one talks about vibrators. They’re not in the news, they’re not in teen literature, they’re not on TV, they’re not mentioned in songs, they’re not in your videos, etc. And yet they’re incredibly enjoyable, and learning to pleasure yourself and increasing your self-compassion is one of the best ways to increase your confidence — which is a topic you’re keen to bring up. It’s empowering to know that I don’t depend on men for orgasms. What’s more, knowing exactly what you like increases your confidence in the bedroom. I’m sure you have to be especially careful around the topic of sex. However, I would love if you could find a way to mention it. Perhaps you could devise a skit like the ‘Brainal’ video. I’d love a response!

  6. Deeksha says:

    hey matt! your videos are really great :)
    whatever you say really relates to practical life and and your advice is freaking awesome! i am 18and i feel that i am not yet ready to date someone but i still love watching your videos whenever i get time. <3 you!

  7. Jazmine says:

    Matthew,

    I really needed to hear this. I stumbled upon your videos on Youtube.

    I’m 19. I turn 20 this September. I’m reaching a point in my life where I’m wondering why I’ve never dated. I haven’t had my first kiss, I haven’t had a boyfriend, and frankly haven’t had any sort of relationship.

    What is the problem here? Is there a problem at all?

    I have a theory, this might just be my insecurities but, I’m a tall woman. I’m introverted. I used to be shy but I’ve outgrown that since I started college. I think it has made me intimidating to men.

    Every time I’ve started to flirt with a guy we usually hit it off, I’m laughing, he’s laughing but it never really goes anywhere. I replay everything in my head and just wonder: “What went wrong?” I know this is shallow but I often attract shorter men and I don’t see myself with that type of man. The reason behind that is that I want to feel protected but I realize that I’m creating an ideal that isn’t fair to men.

    I just want to date and meet new people. I’m not looking to settle down, I just want to enjoy another man’s company, learn his likes, dislikes, what he’s passionate about, his personality, make him laugh, and just have a man genuinely care about me. I’m a stand up comedian, it’s a weird thing for me to do since I’m so introverted and usually shy, but I’ve come to realize that it has made me a stronger more outspoken and confident young woman.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is: What advice would you have for me? I’m tired of hearing people tell me, “Why are you still single?” “You’re way too beautiful to be single!” “You have the whole package, brains, beauty, and you’re funny, why don’t you have a boyfriend?” “I can’t believe you’ve never dated!” Blah, blah, blah…

    I’m very passionate about school. I have big plans for my education and am thrilled about possibly getting into medical school someday. I just want somebody that will support me and love me along the way. I’m scared to be THAT girl. The girl who is still single, all her friends are married or in serious loving relationships, and me living alone with a cat and moping around and wondering what the big deal is about being in a relationship.

    I know I’m young. I have my whole life ahead of me, but I am tired of hearing: “It will happen on its own.” “Give it time.” “He’ll find you.” “The right man will come into your life and you’ll know.” Blah, blah, blah. I’m just frustrated and feel so much pressure from my peers, my mother especially, and several friends.

    I don’t want to wait around like a damsel in distress.
    I’m not the type of woman who sits with her legs crossed and her hands folded neatly on top and just waits.

    I’ve given it much thought and just want some sort of reassurance that I’m not crazy about what I’m rambling about.

    Your videos are helping me to realize that.

  8. kim says:

    Hey Matthew,

    Enjoy watching your videos! You’re such an inspiration as a speaker for me.

    On topic: I remember watching your videos a couple of years ago being a teenager. I was really insecure at the time and thought boys didn’t like me because of my wheelchair.

    I’m twenty now and have come a long way since then. Still the same person, but I’ve noticed how much I like to meet new people, try new exciting things, be on stage and put myself out there.

    I would say to my 16 year old me: don’t overvalue having a boyfriend or those kind of things, invest in yourself in every way you can and enjoy!

    All the best from Amsterdam

    Kim

  9. victoria says:

    Hey Matt!
    This really helped a lot and the advice that you gave really helped. I am fourteen and I like a guy who has a different skin colour and religion from me, but we get on great (well, we used to). I know that my family wouldn’t be comfortable with me dating him. But we had a massive argument and now we’re talking again. Over the past couple of days we have been on the phone to each other for a total of around six hours in about three phone calls and we never run out of things to say, but he keeps saying to me that he isn’t my friend and I don’t even know if he’s joking. The kisses on the messages have stopped and he deleted my number before we started talking again, he doesn’t text me anymore either. PLUS he was telling me about this girl he really likes and how he really respects her and she goes to his school and I don’t. I have never met him in person, but I have skyped him etc. I just don’t know what to do. He worked out that I still like him and when I said “What would be the point though, you don’t like me anymore” he said “my feelings might have changed”. He is just sending me so many mixed messages and it’s starting to really upset me. Please get back to me if you can,
    thanks for listening,
    Vicky :)

  10. Louise says:

    Hi!
    I really liked this video but I have a question. I have been looking at a lot of your videos and read your book but there is still one question remauning.

    I am interested in one guy who I never have been talking to. I have seen him at The same places as me just a few Times. We both play The same sport and it is from tournaments I have seen him. I know his name but here is my problem. How do I get contact with him? Is write to him over Facebook a good idea? In that case what should I write? Or do you have any other sudgestion on what I should do?

    Regards Louise

    • Miranda says:

      Hi Louise, It doesn’t look like hes had time to respond, but hes got a video on YouTube about this particular thing. You can search for it. But, he basically said its fine to reach out to let the guy know your interested, but the key is to let them take it from there. So, suggestions were, asking his opinion about something, there is more on the video.

  11. UG says:

    Thank you so much Matt. I am a teenager and this really helped. :)

  12. Emilia says:

    Hey its Emilia!

    Just wanted to tell you that I have moved on from tht guy.
    He went back to his gf etc but I face a problem now.
    This guy who fancied me before 2 years ago and still flirts with me, broke up with his gf now. I like him too and I want to make a move. How do I though? How long do I leave it? PS He always asked me who I like and we are so compatible. He LOVES my FuN side. I don’t want to seem desperate though Matt

    Thanks so much :-) x

  13. Asli says:

    I’d say: Get the fuck out of your comfort zone.

  14. Anna says:

    Hey Matt,
    Wow first comment on here but since this video is completely directed at my age group I thought I might as well chime in. I go to an all girls sixthform, not exactly the prime location for meeting guys I know, however since watching your videos and reading your book I have to say that I have become more confident not only with guys but with everyone which is great as it means I’m constantly meeting new people but since watching this particular video I’ve noticed that your are completly right, especially with the impressing everyone concept, very eye opening! I really hope you can do more videos like these as they are very helpful :) -Anna

  15. depe says:

    that is great…. but am late,matt?
    did you read my comment? i 100% agree with your 7 Things I’d Tell My Teenage Self… i will do that for myself.. wish u luck. <3 matthew

  16. lisa says:

    Reading so many of the comments from teens & adults. I can say that for the most part I loved HS because I was just me. The biggest advice I can tell you is be yourself, dont change who you are to win the favor of someone else. I was raised by two parents who both lived by the principle of dont worry about what others think of you & instilled that in me & my brothers, why give them so much power over you?, in 5 to 10 yrs these people wont be part of your life why let them rule it now? Looking back, I like that I wasn’t part of a clique but truly was nice & kind to those around me because that is who I am & I still am. Step outside of your comfort zone, that’s what I did my junior year & can now live to tell about how much fun it was. Yes, I actually wore the school mascot (wolf) outfit, it was like a secret identity. I could actually go hug my favorite players with no one knowing who was in that suit among other antics, it was so funny & much fun. But this would not have been possible if I stayed in my comfort zone. I modeled for years while in HS, I had put up with all the remarks of jealous teenage girls but it didnt sway me to stop. So never stop chasing your dreams no matter what someone else says,own it,live it & love doing the things that you happy. Now a million years later, people remember me because I was kind to them and in the long run isnt that how you want someone to think of you.

  17. Julia says:

    Dear Matt,

    I’m coming to you today on this video because I really need your help desperately.

    This video is about things you’d tell your teenage self.
    Now, I have a “teenage” daughter (she’s 20) who everyone admires for her success and lifestyle and her charming personality. People say she’s wise beyong her years. And she’s really trying to be the best version of herself. Inspired by you. You’re her role-model.

    But here’s the thing that really worries me:
    There’s this side of her when she tells me that everything she does isn’t good enough. For example her weight. She weights 143pound and is 5’7 tall so thats perfectly normal but to her normal isn’t good enough so she would not eat much and do a lot of sports. And in her work she’s always there 2hours before her co-workers even arrive and comes home later then everyone else and all her co-workers are 30 and up. And don’t get me wrong she loves her work. I just find it scary that she does take it so seriously that she doesn’t even sleep that much anymore.
    I mean how do you do that Matt? Being successful in your work, having enough personal life and on top of that have such a nice trained body? I would really love to know the secret to keep my daughet from having a breakdown at this young age.

    I’m honestly so worried I just want her to be happy and have the success she wants but not if it makes her sick. I mean she may be an “adult” on her passport but she’s still my child. And maybe if her role-model – YOU – told her how you are your best self but still healthy she would change her attitude about it.

    thank you. Julia

  18. Niamh says:

    hey, I’m 19, currently at university and couldn’t agree more with all the points you’ve given! I spent a lot of my school life hiding back trying not to be noticed or trying to fit in and with your videos and growth/maturity in the last few years I’ve learnt to be myself, If someone doesn’t like it, tough!
    Also just ordered Keep the Guy… Can’t wait for it to arrive!!
    Thanks Matt :) xo

  19. Eveliina says:

    I feel that i need to care more about myself cause I always worrying about what my friends at school what they think of me and I don´t feel comfortable with that and I´m starting to think if they´re really my type of friends. I have always being too nice too my friends at my school and I´m starting too feel bad.
    Thanks for reply :)

  20. Eveliina says:

    I feel that i need to care more about myself cause I always worrying about what my friends at school what they think of me and I don´t feel comfortable with that and I´m starting to think if they´re really my type of friends. I have always being too nice too my friends at my school and I´m starting too feel bad.

  21. Brianna says:

    Hey, I’m a 14 year old girl who just started high school. I have always been different than the majority of the people at my old school. A quick intro of myself: I am a punk rocker, I am nostalgic, and I am very down-to-earth. I have been bullied in the past for the way I look and the things I believe in. Because of that, I have very low self-confidence. However, I try to be as positive and mature as I can. I try to learn form my mistakes or shake off the insults I get. It doesn’t always work, though. You see, I have a very hard time trusting and making friends. And it should be obvious that I’ve never had a boyfriend before. I want to be with someone SO BADLY. First, it is very hard for me to find a friend I can trust. When I do find that person though, they never seem interested in me. Sometimes, they give me dirty looks. What really makes me upset is that I STRONGLY believe in what I believe in, and people just don’t seem to care/notice. Since nobody likes me, I have stared to become a negative, hateful person. I never try to insult anybody, but deep down inside me I feel like I am a blazing fire ready to burn everything down. I had only one friend that I’ve known for 6 years. and recently, we just broke up. Now that I’m starting a new school, I desperately want to begin a new life. I want to meet new friends, hopefully get a boyfriend, and yet still be myself. I need somebody who I can relate to. Please, if you can give me some advice, I’d be EXTREMELY thankful.

  22. Emilia says:

    Hey Matthew!

    Thanks for all your help x I have met up with him and he made me feel special.
    He said my hair was beautiful and we talked loads, he was nervous but he soon felt at ease when I splattered ice cream in his hand we laughed and had physical contact.
    He texts me lots and he said he had a great time. He hugged me tight and squeezed me at the end of meeting and I touched his hand! He said that we could see each other at a youthclub on fridays- starts this week but he ignored my text mid-way. A conversation that he started after meeting. He NEVER ignores me or my texts before! So strange and not like him. Suddenly withdraws? Why? What do I do?
    Do I go this Friday? Will it feel akward if I do or will I seem clingy?
    I’m not like that though. I don’t want another heartbreak Help!
    Ps his gf broke up with him before 2 monthd ago- his first kiss!

    t randomly

  23. Stephanie says:

    Brilliant video! Im a college girl at the moment… And have been watching your video’s for a while…. I’ve been trying to absorb the information (despite the fact that they are for people much older) in hopes of applying it to my life somehow) .. It fascinates me how aware you are of everything, but more than that how you have the ability to almost take on the roll of every situation to find what you think will lead to the results desired. The type of intelligence you have is very special… You are very emotionally intelligent. I admire you! (Now for my question… Im only 18 years of age but am attracted to people in their late 20’s or even early 30’s.. Do you think thete is a problem with that?

  24. Rowan says:

    Thank you for 5 & 6. Though I’m in college now I’ve known for pretty much my whole life where I want to end up and the career I’m meant to have. The fact that I haven’t even been able to reach the door yet has been frustrating and discouraging me to no end lately because I feel like I’m running out of time and I still haven’t really got anywhere despite my efforts and my struggles. So talking about the stepping stones and how you still have to do some of the tedious things that you don’t really want to do even when you do finally reach your goal was…I guess…kind of like a light for me.

    I’m also really glad you mentioned what you did in #7 because it’s something that I’ve been trying to get across to people (my younger sister in particular) for years. It’s not often I come across people who realize that they can learn from observing others as well as from their own experiences.
    A lot of teenagers will put up the argument that they need to live their own life and make their own choices and mistakes. Rarely do they acknowledge that they can learn from the mistakes of their parents, siblings, friends etc and still make their own mistakes along the way. It’s like people purposely put themselves in bad situations just for the sake of, as you said, rebelling or simply to make a point.

  25. Sara says:

    Nice books.

  26. Emily says:

    Hey, I just wanted to say that I’m loving this video. It’s mostly just the way I think about my teenage life and how I judge my life still right now. At the moment I just kinda love making mistakes because they’re the experiences I can gain right now as long as I am young. These mistakes like dating a guy I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with are helping me to get wiser, to see things clearer and to get where I want to be one day. On top of that it actually makes fun :D It’s like I’m finally enjoying my life like I always wanted to.
    Thanks a lot! Your video made me feel like I’m on the right way.

  27. Jen says:

    Matt-
    As always brilliant advice! I wouldve told myself as a teenager.. who cares what anyone thinks..Its my life! Enjoy watching and reading your material! Have you ever considered turning your videos into Podcasts… It would be great to have this advice available at all times! Thank you again!

  28. Maria says:

    Hey Matt, so i wasn’t sure if i wanted to leave a comment that everyone can read but then i came to conclusion that there is probably someone else going through what im going through (if that makes any sense) but look… I’m a 17 year old girl, i’m graduating this year and i’ve never been in a relationship. I’vr never had a a boyfriend. I try to not make it bother me but it does. It brings my self esteem down, i feel ugly…. And i feel like i’m probably gonna end up dying alone… I just dont know what to do… I know you probably have better things to do than help a teenage girl going through social problems… But i just needed to tell someone. Either way i just started seeing your videos they are amazing. I just can’t believe i just found out about you. * New Subscriber* either way thankyou so much for such great videos:)

    • Jennifer says:

      Maria,

      I felt the same way throughout high school. I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was 20. It gets better. I promise!

    • Heidi says:

      Hey Maria!

      I just wanted to reply to you because I am the same age as you and going through the same thing. But heres the thing, who cares if you haven’t had a boyfriend yet. That doesn’t mean your going to die alone or no boy is interested in you. It just means you either never really read the signs right or that wasn’t your main focus in high school. One of the reasons I never dated was because I was more focused on my grades, job, and sports. So I never really put an effort to get a boyfriend, i just had too much on my plate. But that didn’t mean I was never asked out or approached by a boy. It just mean’t I had other important things in my life I needed to focus on before I started even thinking about a relationship. Maybe your reasons are the same as mine or maybe you have tried to be in a relationship but it always ended up failing because you didn’t know what to do. If either one is the case I strongly recommend you reading Get the Guy because Matthew Hussey really helps you out with that. He gives great advice and what I love the most about his book is that he helps you get the guy you deserve. There is a reason for my decision to not date throughout high school and that was because no one ever gave me a reason to. I found that most of the boys at my school wasn’t what i was looking for in a man, and i wasn’t going to date just to date because then i’d be settling and thats just not fair to me or the guy. so like i said read matthew’s book and im sure by the end of it you’ll be getting more than just a guy….you’ll be getting THE guy.

      I hope that helps! :)

    • Desiree says:

      Maria,
      I was in your situation all through high school as well. I felt like everyone was doing something and that I was a third or fifth wheel. I even went to both my senior and junior prom as a single. But I found out that it really didn’t matter to me at all. I’ve been doing what I do best and that is be me. As a sophomore in college I’m really happy that I didn’t try to follow the norm, and I hope that you feel proud about your decisions.

  29. Erin says:

    I’ma let you finish, but this is one of the best videos of all time!

    Or at least my favorite one from you. I don’t even agree with everything you said, but it’s still my favorite.

    I was more wise in high school than I was out of college. Trying to find work is when I started to wonder if I should start to change myself to fit the mold, impress people or cave to peer pressure. Luckily, I have some sort of “you know that’s not you and you’ll hate yourself later” internal meter, that never really lets me go too far in the wrong direction.

    For example, I don’t really like alcohol. It doesn’t bother me, but I get crap for it just about every time I go out. (I can’t tell you how many times people have tried to get me drunk. It’s like their mission in life.) I’ve let myself be curious, and try some drinks, but I never let anyone pressure me into anything. So I don’t really drink, unless it’s free and it’s one of the 3 rare drinks I like. I also had a lot of social anxiety, and I saw people using alcohol as a crutch to talk to people, and I didn’t want to get caught up in that. It’s like that quote in “How Do You Know?”: “Never drink to feel better; only drink to feel even better.”

    So I guess what I should say to my teenage self is: you knew it all along.

  30. Sadie says:

    I just forwarded this to my 17 year old son to watch. This is exactly what he needed to hear. It helps hearing advice from someone other than their mother. Thank you!

  31. Tina says:

    Hi Matt! As always thanks for great video!
    Just wanted to share some thought/insecurities of mine with other girls :p The thing is that I’m almost 20 years old and I never had any relationship and I wouldn’t tell that it bothers me very much (prob I just got used to be single), but thing that bothers me is that why is that so.. because I know that I’m not a bad person and I have normal appearance. I’m always trying to calm myself that this is because I’m working and studying just with girls, so really I don’t have enough guy acquaintances to even meet a good guy. But my inner voice tells me that it isn’t the real reason and if I want something then I need to go and create it! But it’s always really really hard to finally act, especially when u don’t understand what u even want. So yeah, I’m stuck at one point and I’m afraid of that I’m living prob my live best years without enjoining them fully and that soon I will wake up at 25-30 years at the same point :( Well thanks for reading ( if someone got so far :D)Hope maybe someone have similar story and now feel a little bit better that isn’t one with this kind of problem :)

  32. Lisa says:

    Hi, thanks for this video. If only you made this some years ago. I just finished school and changed a lot over the couple of years and months.
    I agree with what you say. I really wish I wouldn’t have thought so much about what others would think about the things I did but instead did the things I wanted to do. But I can’t go back and change. I’m still young and I don’t want to give away chances anymore. I want to live life :)

  33. Nina says:

    Thnx Matt.if only had talked to me like this when i was teenager, i would not have been a rebel. Now i would tell my teenage self ,learn from those mistakes instead of feeling regrets

  34. Androniki says:

    Hey Matthew! Finally, a video completely aimed at my age group :) I’m 17 and going into Grade 12 this year. I’ve realized over the years that I have spent so many hours worrying about what others think of me and how to get a guy to like me. Hell, if I could go back to Grade 1 even, I’d tell myself to not be shy and to just make friends. I went from being antisocial to one of the most outgoing members in my family (eventually it clicked in my head). What truly helped me with becoming extroverted was change, moving schools during middle school. I would have to say change is amazing. It can help anyone become more knowledgeable and grow as they have new experiences that they can apply to their lives. Another big one for teenagers is rejection. All we think about: Will I look too fat in this? Does he think I’m ugly? Am I listening to the right type of music? Eventually, if we’re lucky, we come to realize being unique is what makes you attractive; authenticity. Of course, I still fear rejection, especially from the opposite gender (very much) but I’ve been working on being okay with myself and boosting my confidence by accepting who I am. At the end of the day if we’re not okay with ourselves, how will anyone else ever be satisfied with us? Thanks for the video and keep doing what you do, you British gem ;)

  35. secret4697 says:

    i wish if you talked more to your teenager viewer and the thing we going through like going to college , finding your life work and more about depression and insecure . and the family’s pressure of finding a job and you know ….
    that will be awesome .

  36. Didi says:

    I can really relate to this! For the most part the same can be applied to the university freshmen community. Although I’m nineteen for one more week, I would tell my teen self to be flexible for rejection is not easy on anyone. And to turn my mistakes into lessons. Sometimes being a perfectionist can become excessive especially when you’re being slapped by hormones every other time and live in a strict military household. I would also tell myself to live my life my own way trust my judgement and stop being a people pleaser. I wish I could have told myself that every time I failed and fell down, I should fall on my back in order to fully grasp the beautiful climb to come.
    Thanks Matt!

  37. Ashley Malloy says:

    Thank you SO much for this video. I’m 16 and just started a new school year. As a teenager sometimes you look at adults you know as people just trying to give you stereotypical answers to “life questions”, so first I want to thank you for your honesty. I’m a pretty outgoing person, and I try not to let anything hold me back when I want to do something. I’m on student council, I play two different school sports, and two different instruments. My problem is boys. Does anyone have any advice on dating in school? I kind of suck at it and haven’t had a boyfriend since the beginning of freshman year. I know high school isnt about boys and things but I would at least like to have a date to prom or something.

  38. Haylee says:

    Hey Matthew!

    Thanks for that video. I’m just about to turn 20 and I wish I’d known it!

    I would tell myself that no one realises you’re walking around alone because you feel odd. Those boys aren’t TEASING you, they want your attention. And that you are much better at relating to people than you think you are.

    Hey maybe an idea for a video… Could you do one on being a big personality? I have watched some of your seminars online and it helps but I’m still having trouble finding a guy with a big energy like mine… Doesn’t help that I’m 6″2 with purple hair either. How can I be more inviting to men in more than just a sexual way? I always feel that even when I’m being friendly or getting them to help me (your tip) they feel emasculated.

    If you have any advice it would be much appreciated. :)
    Otherwise Love your stuff!

    From Haylee. :)

  39. Haylee says:

    I loved the video! I never realised as a teen that a lot of people thought I was attractive. I walked around on my own at lunch times and the sporty boys would always call out and tease me. It made me laugh to learn a few years later from heaps of old school mates the way they saw my situation. Nobody seemed to realise I was walking around because I felt odd in every group. I would absolutely explain this to myself. Could you maybe do a video for being in your 20’s? I’m turning 20 in two months and already it feels like a whole different phase of life.

    Either that or maybe a video for being a really big energy / intense person. I watched some of your seminars online and it helped but I’m still having trouble finding a guy with energy to match mine. I’m 6″2, have purple hair and also a big personality. Honestly I don’t know how to make it an approachable thing without either shutting up or dropping my standards.

    Anyway! Love your stuff!!

  40. Al says:

    Matt,

    What do you think about exotic dancers??

  41. Barbara says:

    I would tell mysel: Don’t be afraid of what others think about you.

  42. Jeanne says:

    I’d tell my teenage self to focus on who she is inside (ie. integrity, character, reading, discipline, being kind, finding her passion) rather than her looks or trying to fit in with the cool kids. All of these things will determine your thought process and what comes out of your mouth. Which will determine the type of people who will surround you which will determine your quality and outlook on life. What you look like on the outside can easily be changed and modified with clothes and makeup, however who you are on the inside and what you have to offer takes time to build and sculpt and make your own. My advice is to start early.

  43. Anna-Marie says:

    Hi Matthew! Thanks for putting out these videos!
    I follow your channel on youtube and I’m glad you did a teenager oriented video :). Speaking of teenagers…this year I will be a new house captain and we (me and the house team) were going to introduce the new school year with an assembly and when I saw your video I thought “Yeah that’s it! That’s what we need to say!” I was actually wondering if you didn’t mind us showing a video to a wider audience in school. We’re going to have lots of new students this year so we discussed encouragement of meeting a lot of new people and being fearless as well.
    Thank you very much for making this video as well as other videos on relationships,
    Anna-Marie (from Prague, CZ)

  44. Nadia M says:

    You may find that this can be used in PSHE lessons in schools. It’s perfect. Trust me.
    Maybe not what you’re about BUT it’s another avenue to get you even busier.
    I will show this to my 13yr old son and I will pass it on to his school. – You never know!

  45. Shanae says:

    Hello, I just had a quick question about a situation in my class with a guy I just met. The first day we made eye contact , smiles went across the room.( Aka next to each other) we talked after class . Next day we didn’t talk I flashed a smile he noticed then he took off after class. Third day I asked why he did last weekend and he was a complete douchy asshole trying to act all cool and like he was annoyed with me. He stopped trying to open the door for me too . So I decided not to speak to him anymore for the rest of the year. Now, is there a video or advice for college students on meeting new ppl or guys? If not, what is the best choice to make in a situation like that ?

  46. Dd says:

    Hello!

    I always think of this question, and I’d have to go with you on your first tip, Matt. I went to an all girl Catholic high school where everyone was pretty nice and created a welcoming environment for the most part, yet I was still scared to take risks. I always say to myself, “why didn’t I just run for president?”. It would have made some experiences in college a lot easier. Focus on being present, having fun, and being yourself and things will get a lot less scary. : )

  47. Becky says:

    Thanks Matthew, I’m 16 and I’m actually freaking out about going to College, being round lots of people that I don’t even though. My older friends just tell me to be myself and even just pretend to be happy and cheery so people would want to be my friend. Haha I bet in 2 years time I’ll laugh at how stupid I was for freaking out when everything went fine :’) + I’ve learnt from previous years not to give a damn what anyone else thinks and you’re totally right about not trying to impress because they are not worth it!
    You’re awesome and so nice!

  48. Amy says:

    Matthew, thank you so much for this video. I am 19 and about to start university life so really your tip of ‘be careful who you’re trying to impress’. More videos for people my age I think would be so beneficial especially on the issues of young love maybe in late teens/early twenties.

    If you have any more tips for interacting with people and guys at university they would be so helpful.

    Thank you again,
    Amy

  49. Kate says:

    Matthew, I think your number 4 -ignore people’s first reactions to something you do- I think this is something really important for teenagers, I was only telling my 15 year old brother this recently. Unfortunately, I think teenagers are so scared of potentially not being accepted that they don’t believe it when someone older gives them this advice of just going for it no matter the first reaction of ones peers.
    I would love if there was a way to get through to them, they would benefit hugely and be so much happier in themselves.
    At least I know that would be my number 1 piece of advice to tell my teenage self!
    Thank you, great video ! X

  50. Pauline says:

    Hey Matthew!
    I’m 19 and currently in university, at that stage where I’m still not completely sure what to do with my life. Your statement of “The art is finding a way to enjoy whatever it is you’re doing” stuck out to me.
    Do you think I should continue pursuing a career that I think I will like most of the time or go for a slightly different career that I think I will enjoy a lot more? I’d really like to get your opinion on this cause I’m not sure whether I should just try to find ways to enjoy the first career. (I’m sorry if that’s too vague for you to give a response or if I phrased it poorly.) But I also wanted to say that this is my first time watching one of your videos and it really spoke to me so thank you!

  51. Meg Johnston says:

    If anything I think the most important thing anyone can learn in life is to just be a good friend. Be the person people can trust and you will attract other genuinely good people. Trying to fit in is so time consuming and does not enhance your life whatsoever in the long term. What you are going to remember the most are the friends you had and all the awesome times you had with them. Also do what you love. Paddle your own boat without looking right or left. The people who aren’t giving you any approval right now or think they’re too cool to talk to you (trust me there will be plenty of them) really have no power over you at all. This is especially true if you have a life of your own and are pursuing something that you are passionate about. Chances are you have a few talents and virtues that no one can ever take away from you. So really learn to hone them and find a hobby/activity that means something to you. You might be the worst softball player in your gym class, but you might also be the best singer. We all have strengths.

  52. Anna says:

    I’d tell my teenage self to read this blog text.. I wish I knew what Tim Kreider said eventually: “If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.”

    http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/06/15/i-know-what-you-think-of-me/?_r=0

    You are doing a lovely job, Matt. :)

  53. Joan says:

    I absolutely love this, I just want to ask Matthew, can I use this to show my teens? I work with teenagers and I think this video would be invaluable to them.

    Secondly, I would tell my teen self, just stay as you are, you are fine and on the right path, do not give into peer pressure. Most times we think peer pressure is forceful but it can be as subtle as a friend constantly criticizing the way you dress or your studious nature. I can proudly say, I am back to not basing my life on the people around me but I would have liked it if I trusted myself more back then.

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