Dear Trolls, Get A Life

You’ve heard me talk about the two types of people in life: Waiters and Creators.

Well… there’s also a third type of person…

There’s a guy I’ve been following for a while, George Watsky – a rapper who become a big Youtube name, and who has been in the news recently for jumping off of a very high lighting rig at a show where he injured two people.

He wrote a very sincere apology for his actions which he posted on Facebook:

“The jump was not awesome, it was not badass, and it was not ballsy. It turned what should have been a great day for the people who got hurt into a nightmare. It was stupid and wildly irresponsible, plain and simple.

“Today I let down my supporters, I let down the Warped Tour and I let down my band and the people who work their asses off behind the scenes to make these shows happen. My #1 priority right now is to somehow make this right for the folks who were hurt.

“I am deeply sorry and I promise to learn from this mistake.”

(See full apology here.)

The apology, despite its sincerity, provoked a HUGE number of comments berating the guy, abusing him, and saying all sorts of nasty things.

What I find more sickening than the newspapers who spread these kinds of stories is the way that they indoctrinate people in general.

At any time you can go onto a newspaper’s website and see people commenting on stories like this in just this way.

I’m always in favour of people disagreeing with me and giving a constructive lesson with an idea that conflicts with mine, but that’s very different from what people typically do.

The way people leave these comments is not designed to be productive. Their comments are left with the intention of being sinister and malicious.

The interesting question is: Why do people do this?

Why is it that we live in a culture where people have to take 5-10 minutes out of their day to maliciously abuse someone else, when that person has already heard it twenty or more times from other people telling them how stupid they’ve been?

Why is it that people feel it necessary to be sinister in this way?

The obvious answer is because these people are lacking something in their own lives.

The same people who leave these comments are distracting themselves from their own productive endeavours.

Do you think each of them doesn’t have something they want to do in their life? Something they want to build or create that they haven’t got the courage to do.

Maybe they haven’t got the drive or strategy. Maybe they have a whole list of excuses as to why they can’t do what they want to do. Whatever it is holding them back, the end result is them leaving malicious comments about other people they don’t even know, instead of spending their time doing things that would actually benefit their own lives.

I want to speak to these people:

There is a reason why you took the time to say something and didn’t choose to use that time to do something that was actually important to you.

You could have learnt a new word in that time, watched another video that could have educated you on something, or sent a loving text message to someone you do know.

Instead you left a nasty comment.

***

There are people who wait and people who create in life.

The people I’m talking about don’t fall into either one of those categories in a way. They don’t wait, they don’t create, they destroy.

If from this video one such person is turned to doing something constructive instead of writing a nasty comment next time the opportunity presents itself, then this video and article will at least have done something.

Questions Of The Day:

You may not be a ‘troll’, but there may be ways you know you waste energy that you know you would rather spend on productive endeavours – even if for 5 minutes.

If you had an extra 5 minutes today, what would you use it for that’s important to your life?

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

87 Responses to Dear Trolls, Get A Life

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  1. Caroline says:

    Excellent Matt. One reaps what one sows’. Get a life Trolls ones which may I suggest involves volunteering with fellow human beings or animals or anything that adds value to one’s existence and the planets.

  2. Misia says:

    Hi Matt, you are so right!!
    People usually try to make me sick during christmass family lunches… By the way my extra 5 minutes daily is for doing more gym. So i can fight the stress and produce endorphines ;)
    Have a nice evening.
    Bye
    Misia

  3. Sam says:

    This reminds me of the portion in deadmau5’s “Ghosts N’ Stuff” where Bob Saget speaks as a troll:

    “At the first moment I’m not recording, I’m not on tour and I’ve never had a song go to number one on Beatport, I’ve never been featured on Juno Download or Track it Down, I’ve never released twice, but what I do know is that I’ve been listening to electronica for many years and I have every right to speak my mind against the fabricated music that is being released on a daily basis. It’s absolutely appalling! All these people think that if you’re on the Beatport Top Ten you’re making something out of yourself, well you’re making a mockery out of electronic music. I’m a producer and I come from the underground and I’m… Quite frankly, I’m sick and tired and I’m here to go on these rants on message boards because I know I will never amount to anything and I need to make myself feel better. So when I’m not high on cocaine I will sit in front of this computer ’till the cows come home and continue ranting and raving about artists that are actually living out their dream ’cause I never wïll.”

  4. Raquel says:

    Thank you for taking your time to give us your point of view on this, Matt. It’s so refreshing to find people like you with such a positive and giving outlook on life.

  5. Barbara says:

    So much truth in this.
    Reminds me of the (free) RPG maker game “Pom Gets Wi-Fi”, it’s as ridiculous as it sounds, but it’s addressing this troll-personality exactly like that (encouragingly so)
    If you just went out and actually did something, you’d already be moving forward.

  6. Melinda says:

    I wholeheartedly agree with your outlook on this matter. I was just telling a girlfriend the other morning that she was doing her own self damage by reviewing her boyfriend’s x-wife’s Facebook page in the mornings and allowing this other person’s life to wreck her morning and day – on a daily basis. This is an amazing woman with a master’s degree in nursing who helps a lot of people daily. What purpose does this behavior serve to her life or the other lives she impacts?! Just wasted time and energy, I think.

  7. Brittany Patterson says:

    Matt- So True. It reminds me of a speech given by Theodore Roosevelt, “Citizenship in the Republic” 1910, in Paris.

    “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

    It seems to be the people on the sidelines who are pointing their fingers at others. Thank you for being the man in the arena, getting your hands dirty, and challenging people to question their actions. No guts, no glory.

  8. Lynn says:

    My five minutes are the alternative it actually 30 minutes. But the block button is useful to stop trolls. Thanks for standing up to trolls.

  9. Shaniah says:

    Matthew I do appreciate you trying to contribute something positive to the world – but the thing is, it’s not the trolls per se that are the problem, the internet is. The fact that people can now post whatever they want, with little or no censorhip, is the problem. Before the internet, people would comment this way about such an incident to each other, or in their little cliques. It’s human nature, to be a troll at least in some aspect. And quite honestly, if bad behaviour was never addressed, how would it be stopped from happening again? Thanks for posting it though and I agree, it’s better to spend 5 minutes doing something constructive with your life.

  10. The troll says:

    Dear Matthew, get a life.

  11. Princess says:

    I concur entirely. It shows deep insecurities to be attacking other people. In the ideal world everyone would be encouraging each other not bringing others down.

  12. Tiffany says:

    Love this!

  13. Jenny says:

    Hey Matt, I agree with you, as I do most of the times. Great minds think alike. What’s that saying? “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”
    The world would be much more evolved and feel less resistance if people would spend more time tending to their own gardens and less time trying to manage other’s. I mean, how exhausting is it when you are spending so much time critiquing, judging and managing other’s when you should be mastering your own dominion and being responsible for your own behaviors. I think it’s about avoidance. Avoidance of accountability of playing their best game in life. I also think it’s jealousy and hate. Some people just don’t have a very loving bones in their bodies and they like to pass judgment on others as a way to uplift themselves and make themselves superior. Dim others down so that they can shine brighter because without doing so they may not feel so accomplished on their own. It doesn’t come from love. It stems from judgement and insecurity. I feel bad for those whose world is colored so dark that they only way they can thrive is to take away from others. I suppose you can’t blame them right? They are probably unconscious people who are just trying to make themselves feel better. Some people are strictly about survival Matt. I think you are about thriving. BTW, your passion in this video was incredibly sexy. You’re also a cutie. I love your passionate, intelligence, and playfulness. You sexy biatch you.

  14. Poppy says:

    I respectfully disagree with you, not on your opinion that internet trolls should find something better and more productive to do and stop being assholes, but on the idea that there are “three different types of people” in the world. I suppose, being in the self-help business, it’s probably easier for you to put people in boxes, but there are always ranges of people. Sometimes people create things, then lose motivation and just sit around for a while. Sometimes, in the middle of creating something, someone will take a break and go post a nasty comment just because they can. In order to put one person in a box, you have to put everyone else in their own, personal, individual box. Humans are infinite shades of grey, and there will always be someone who wishes we were black and white.

  15. Mh says:

    Hey Matthew,

    Your lessons helped me in my life so though I have not ready the book not be able to attend any of live shows as being overseas but you emails helped me so much that I start helping people. Dont care for others. Your word- Logic-Logic- does not make any logic. You are out of this world – who is here to help/teach/educate us.

    love!

  16. Natasha says:

    BTW, I’ve noticed a lot of people bitching about your mouth……well, I adore your foul mouth. Be real, be you, because I relate to it and quite fankly don’t people have something better to do than get bat shit crazy over that. Muah handsome!

  17. Natasha says:

    Matthew,
    I really enjoy your thoughts/lessons. It’s really something how you educate. I love how I learn to see and understand my life more objectively. I don’t think I as m a troll, but I took a lot from this. Instead of shipping my son off to bed like I routinely do, I stopped and had him cuddle by me and I told him the story of how he came into my life and how blessed I am because of it. Blessings to you Matthew.

    Natasha

  18. Cynthia says:

    I do not usually comment on blogs, but I just wanted to say thank you for speaking on this subject. I agree with what you said. Keep up the good work.

  19. Alejandra says:

    I totally agree with you, people who do not make constructive criticism generally reflect his insecurity and often feel envy against that person´s work. I always thought it’s good to have constructive criticism because we can always learn something, the bad comments are unnecessary.

    About your question after writing this comment I will spend the remaining minutes sending a message to a friend ;)

    Have a nice week.

  20. Virginia says:

    This is something I get really furious about… To me, trolls aren’t necessarily just people who make it a point of criticising others to their faces (or by leaving a youtube comment) but also people who do it behind their backs. They want to know what we’re doing, how we’re doing it, and they want what we have, even though sometimes they hardly know us and our lives have no bearing on theirs… but word gets around! And sooner or later we find out and, for me it’s been shocking… what has this person got against me? What have I ever done to her? (in my case I’ve usually found it to be a woman)… They want to put us down and if our confidence isn’t what it should be (especially at a vulnerable time), it might affects us… They are, as Matthew said, envious, that’s my conclusion, and yes, they should get a life, but they might never get one, and what is the best way for us to deal with these people while they don’t?… We’re supposed to keep our friends close and our enemies closer… but I don’t really find that particularly pleasant… A friend of mine suggested that I internally thank these people for helping me evolve into a better human being. That is to say, instead dwelling on the negativity of this situation, making it into something positive. I know this sounds quite zen but, to be quite honest, it’s been helping me.

  21. Kira says:

    I think the destroyers as you call them are still waiters, just a different type of waiter. Like maybe there’s a passive waiter and an aggressive waiter. And maybe passive waiters turn into aggressive waiters because after a while of waiting you do tend to become bitter. And I think that all of us has a little bit of each in us. It just depends on which one is more prominent (the waiting or creating). I mean, I’ve said and done a few things that I’m not proud of. At the time, it felt good to say them but I’d think on it later and realize I was only being an ass because I was upset about something. Then I’d feel bad. I think aggressive waiting is a sign that something needs to change. Passive waiting is usually done out of fear, aggressive waiting is just trying to show you that you cannot tolerate it anymore, screw fear and go do it.

  22. Jo says:

    You’re a great guy. I believe that Good will conquer Bad. Thank you for sharing your love and goodness.

  23. Tj says:

    Use it to call my mum and tell her I love her. Off to do that now-thanks for the inspiration.

  24. Agnes says:

    My short and simple answer to:
    Why do they do it?
    Is lack of awareness.
    The ones that understand that all human beings are imperfect
    ussualy are working towards perfection: better health, greater relationship,
    education, personal growth.etc..there are so many fields to be improved.
    The ones that simply don’t get that everything starts from them…normally has a tendency to blame others and complain…because they are the most insecure and imperfect. .but simply they are not aware of it..or hiding from it…

  25. Yalmact Swillirs says:

    Writing. I’ve just published my second book on amazon, but I need to pull my finger out and finish the second book of my series.

    I really liked what you said Matt. I’ve noticed that people who are trolls tend to also be nasty in person too and like you said, it’s because they’re lacking something in their own live.

  26. Agostinha Jacinto says:

    i really like your caracther, personality! damn….my hero….! :) some people need to have a life, and need to be happy…by the things they achieve not by putting down other people…AGREED!!!
    Kiss**** love ya matt!!!

  27. kelly duffy says:

    I know people who consistantly prowl on other peoples lives , in an extreme negative forms…point blank..these are people whom do NOT LIKE THEMSELVES..AND have notbing better to do in life.

  28. DENISE says:

    Matt. Don’t let these destroyers stress you out!

  29. Angela K says:

    Hi Matthew,
    I haven’t posted on your blog for quite a while, been very bizzy. However, I have been quite poorly the last few days and still recovering, so thought I would post here seeing as I got some spare time.
    To be honest, I don’t usually read any newspaper articles, magazine articles etc, and I’m certainly not interested in any celebrities, though I do know what you mean about people making nasty comments.

    I do, though, have one criticism of your blog today, why do you call them trolls ? I would call them scum and decay of society, but then, I’m feeling rough right now !!!!

    Angela K xxxx

  30. Viola says:

    Matthew, you’re helping people, and this is what matters most! You create something incredible, and it would be hard to disagree with what you teach because your level of knowledge is immense! You inspire people to be the best they could be, and the happiest they ever were! And this is again what matters most. The rest is junk.

    Your thoughts bring more thoughts, and I as your follower, shared mine in a previous comment as well, which was the only time when my thought was slightly different from yours :), other than that all your videos blew my mind… I had nothing to say :) But those who tries to put you down are just unhappy people or worse, and their attempt to earn competence in a wrong way will do them no good. All achievers have to partake of the poison of viciousness but they survive because of antidote, and you, as the achiever, have it! You’re great, Matthew, and admired by many! I wish you the greatest, marvelous Sunday and the week!!!

    Much love x
    Vi

  31. Margaret says:

    What’s with the swearing?!!!!!! It does take away from you Mathew and you are netter than that.

    • Margaret says:

      I mean “better” not “netter”

      • Trudy says:

        I agree Margaret … He seems to be contradicting himself using fool language.

        • Mel says:

          Funny different opinions, I think swearing is highly funny, it’s not like he’s using it in a rude harsh way. I say this is a nice way by the way not attacking because you both seem lovely and polite.

          I think when it’s not used to hurt or insult there an amusing irony especially in Matthews Essex accent – me, I just sound like a common northerner! ^_^

  32. Katherine says:

    Thank you for shedding light on this – your insights are consistantly helpful.

  33. Olive says:

    Matthew you are a completely beautiful person inside. You`re love is shining out of you. It was so inspiring to watch you cause you`re eyes told it all. Thank you for giving me constantly something to work on and the way to do so. You do all right. You really reached something. I am so happy for you. I wanna be this kind of person too, who inspires people to reach their standards, to be better. I wish you this happy live you really deserve. I am looking forward to meet you once and in between I am working on myself. God bless you. You are unbelievable great. Happy Sunday.

  34. Kamilla says:

    these Destroyers you talk about are only part of a different society than the one you and me are living in. For them, the world is a very dark place. And saying fuck you means literally “I Love you, you fucking assface!”

    Its a survival instinct. Its anger. Its raw and rough.

    YOu want life to be daint and pretty matt. It aint. It is so not.
    Life is a very complex story. Life is light and dark. and grey and every color of the rainbow. But whatever you do, dont be grey. Whatever you do, dont tone yourself down to “fit” a certain society stigma. It only comes off as false. TO ME. I hate false people. YOUre not false though. YOu are afraid. Another thing. Of what Matt? Of what?? Of being rejected? Of being a social paria? YOu could never be that (again) cause youve come so far now.

    YOure building an Empire. An Enterprice. A Starship Voyager.

    WHo is Kirk? YOu seam more like Spock to me. Get real Matt. Who is this person behind and infront the camera? Beside the camera? Who is your CREW matt? Only you? No…you have a team that weve heard of but never seen. YOu work alone? DOnt think so.

    Well…I hope you learned something while making that video Matt. That destuction in it self. Isnt bad. Its another kind of creativeness. Its EVIL: yes- but, its not unhealthy. >:D

    BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

  35. Cristina Póvoas says:

    Wow… It’s amazing how people can see so many shades in a situation that for me is so … black and white. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for colors, diversity, relativity, but some things are just this: black and white, simple, plain, purely right or wrong, it doesn’t matter how you want to color it.

    I fully agree with Matt here. Regardless of the the situation, if we use our time, energy, creativity to do something kind, positive, gratifying for yourself or for someone else… life would be so much better, wouldn’t it?

    And if we know something that can make life better… why not do it, right? :D

  36. Ana says:

    Thanks for your input Matt. It has always struck me how people can “show up” behind a computer screen and a username, to bring forward such evil energy and insults, as they were entitled to. I just thought it wasn’t ok as human beings, but you made it a teaching material about goals.
    Best wishes for you,
    Ana

  37. Google Eye says:

    Matthew,

    Don’t say other people. I am put off watching your fool-mouth videos! Have you watched Vlvis’s Fox Song videos in YouTube? They are sweet and fun. But if you watch their other videos, you would know exactly how I feel watching your fool-mouth ones!

    But nice to see that you are not a nice guy, but a good guy!

  38. Marina Casadei says:

    Lovely message, Matt!!
    Unfortunately, destroyers do not know how to be productive and they are not interested in learning it.
    We can do our part to make a better world.

    “Dear Trolls…” also funny!!!!!

    xxx

  39. Andrea says:

    I alwayz wonder if things like this do get to any of those people you are talking about. I guess it has to happen, statistically. It is pretty amazing to think about it, at least to me…

  40. Rumors says:

    I think, with all my respects, that you´re wrong in various ways:

    – If someone is a troll he doesn´t spend 5 minutes in a comentary. He spends 15 seconds or so.
    – They usually do it for two main reasons that are not the ones you said: they´re bored or just want attention.
    – There are a lot of ways of trolling: one is in something serious (like your example) or in something not so serious.
    – If they want attention you just have give them what they want and you have shown that trolling is a good way to achive attention. In other words: what you just have done, even though it is done with good intentions, is highly counterproductive.

    The way to treat that kind of internet personallities is not to pay attention because if you do, you feed the troll.

    • Marina Casadei says:

      I totally agree with you, Rumors. Still, I like to see people like Matt saying what he’s said. It makes me stronger!!!!

    • Susan says:

      Firstly it’s ‘achieve’ not achieve, and secondly, I agree with what Matt has said and actually maybe his comments will make them think. It’s not going to go away just because you ignore it!!

      • Rumors says:

        Thaks for the correction. I´m spanish so all the corrections you could do are great for improving my English.

        In the other hand I think that the kind of people that troll on internet don´t mind if Matt or any other person say that things to them. Agree to disagree.

    • Paige says:

      I agree with Rumors. Destroyers think they are creators. They feel that they are being productive. Trolls will feed off of any response they get, positive or negative. Negativity will increase with any attention it gets. Focus on the positive and moving forward, don’t be a troll yourself.

      • Rumors says:

        Yes. In somethings it´s fine to talk with them if they are open to make them realize when something is serious. But, in the case of this post, it just feed them.

  41. Kathryn says:

    If I had an extra five minutes I would message my older son to ask how his day is going. I have a younger disabled son with many needs and it is so easy to expect everyone else in life, particularly my older son at University facing many challenges in life, trying to get a job for one, to allow him to completely take precedence.
    My younger son is completely without malice and makes the most of every minute of his day, creating, learning. We just cannot understand when last week one person managed to shut down two home education groups with their malicious trolling.
    There’s no control of them just to say what they want, which is something vile and destructive and they ruin it for all. I am at a loss of what to say. There is no excuse and the damage being done is untold. It is an awful modern dilemma, I hope it stops. I hope the papers stop encouraging it. I hope your bringing it to light stops it! Very brave stance to take Matthew. Bravo.
    Kathryn xx

  42. Rivka says:

    Love this video, Matthew!

  43. Babs says:

    These people are cowards and probably have a very low self-esteem. Social Media just like the web can be great forces for good but they can also be sources of great distress and hurt when used in this way. We are a disposable society where accountability seems to be a rarity rather than the norm and things just like comments are ‘throw away’. People need to start valuing themselves and others before we see a change in attitudes, less selfish, more selfless. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of people out there like that, we just need more of them. X

  44. Lisa says:

    Great insight and amazing idea to simply suggest to destroyers another way. It is so easy to be caught up in a group mentality of superiority and separation… but why not support each other. I rarely go on CNN and when I do I always say, “Lets see how many seconds until they say “tragedy, scandal, crisis, fear…” It’s never more than three seconds and there is always the drum sound affect to make your stomach drop. When I was in Europe I noticed their style of news was more inclusive and kinder. It made me open up and feel I was a part of the world and world events in a positive way. Our news can make you feel scared and disempowered and disheartened. I know that is a part of what creates a destroyers mentality. Some people have been taught incorrectly and dont know any better. I long for the kind of message you sent today. Be a person who helps themselves and others. A voice of true strength because it heals, empowers, and lovingly bonds. Stewardship of society and the earth. Not pillaging.

  45. nabila says:

    you’re right, and it’s like they enjoy seeing other peopel fail in something or they were waiting for them to do something wrong, it’s just sad they are so empty to the point that they prefer make other peopel feel wors than they are already feel than do something useful.
    thanks for this video and thanks for talking about those kind of peopel :)

  46. Andrea says:

    Glad you spoke up on this topic Matt. It’s true. Lot of negativity out there. It takes the same amount of time to write something positive as it does negative.

    • Andrea says:

      You inspired me to take 5 minutes and write out Thankful cards to my family which I’m going to give to them on Thanksgiving!

      Thank you Matt!!

  47. Lorine says:

    I utilized 5 minutes of my time and watched ur video

  48. Deborah Devonshire says:

    Hear,hear.People take kindness for weakness,when its quite the opposite. I recently tried to encourage my colleagues to take part in a Christmas charity for disadvantaged children.The overwhelming response was negative and I was accused of being a ‘DO GOODER’ as if being labelled as that is a bad thing ! The main antagonists were, as usual, the ones who shout the loudest but do the least, are always negative and ripping someone’s character apart .I am constantly at odds with colleagues because if I can be nice,why be nasty ? If i can help,why be obstructive ? If I’m able to encourage someone, why pull them down ?
    I find it sad that being pleasant/helpful/encouraging etc is viewed in such a negative light.I take your view that their attitude comes from a place of unhappiness.
    Each day I try to remember ‘something good can happen to me and something good can happen through me’
    Thanks for the video ,keep up the good work.

  49. Melaina says:

    You probably haven’t been watching ‘I’m a celebrity..’ in the states but the Olympic swimmer in it talked about how she gets sent nasty twitter messages about her looks, it had her in tears.

    I think it all comes down to what is outlined in the book ‘How to win friends and influence people’ – people have a strong need to feel important. Case in point, the man who shot JFK! We all want to be heard, to be noticed, to be listened to and be influential in people’s lives. This is why we all comment your videos, to speak and be heard, it’s not a diary after all.

    If people spent less time trolling others and more time learning something they might find something interesting to say people might actually want to listen to. (Like this pop-psychology babble, I hope)

  50. Shaina says:

    It is a rarity to witness someone who chooses to not hate on their haters. The sincerity you exhibit is striking and you wear it well :). Though having been the recipient of attack in your line of work, you choose the path of understanding and educating. Your true colors are vibrant and inspiring Matt. Thank you :)

  51. Tricia says:

    Excellent.

  52. Perihan says:

    Thank you, Matthew! No, not in strict connection with that rapper guy (I don’t really know who that is), but for the positive energy you inspire.

  53. Leecis says:

    Ouch. Did I waste five minutes berating this young man on line? No I did not. However, after seeing a clip of the incident on the news, did I proclaim ” what an idiot” ? Yes I did. Did the news report on his apology and remorse? No they did not. I am thankful for the whole story. We are all guilty of being caught up in a moment, but did we follow through with a penance? Good for him!

  54. Cathy says:

    Matt, you touch so many people’s lives, even if you can’t reach the destroyers. Your encouragement, your being a strong model for right behavior, your insights give so many people the tools to work for good in their lives. We all know destroyers. As we become more confident in ourselves due to your guidance, and as we become less frightened of speaking up and showing the world who we are, each of us has an opportunity to call out people who are being unkind and call them toward right action. Your part in that is huge, by being here for us regularly, to inspire us and challenge us to think. I believe in what you are doing, and I am thankful for your voice in the world.

  55. Karen says:

    Thank you! This is something that has intrigued me for years. Why don’t people pursue their gr

    • Karen says:

      Pursue their greatness instead of trying to bring down others, especially those who have accomplished some form of greatness in their lives. Shame on all of those peops. Is this a form of adult bullying in a sense? Sad but real. Why do so many people continue to judge and fault in others or revil in their mistakes? Strange world we live in. As a South Carolina farmer once said “So much good in the worst of us, so much bad in the best of us. So what behooves us to judge any of us.” Takes a lot of practice to keep the judgment out of our lives but one that is worth a lifetime of happiness.
      Matthew you rocked this one!

  56. Paula Acuna says:

    Matthew,

    This is by far my favorite video you have posted. It is so easy to judge. We all do it. It’s human. You can tell a lot about a person from one simple comment that they post. People have no idea that they are really exposing a huge part of themselves when they do this. I agree with you, the first thing that comes to mind is a lack of something in their life. If someone is mean or plain out rude, the first thing we want to do is call them a bitch and move forward but if we all stop for one second and ask ourselves, before we judge, why is someone like that? What happened in their life to make them be so hateful. Or most of the time, what DIDN’T happen in their life to make them become so hateful? I am very blessed to have been brought up by incredible loving people who taught me respect and values but many people have not had such a luck. They struggle searching for the lack of something in their life because many times people don’t know what they’re looking for. And when it comes down to it, it’s love. If the people in this world practiced empathy… it would change everything. Thank you for sharing this. I admire your sense of empathy towards all people, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Martin Luther King said it best, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

    Peace & Thimbles,
    Paula Acuna

  57. Mark says:

    Totally agree – I am a gay guy that has been following you because I’m really interested in the behavioural dynamics field and have been thinking about applying this knowledge to a gay audience – it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on that – I like the way you put this info across – straight to the point no bulkshit and if people have a problem with a few swear words then crikey – your an inspiration mate. I think as you say whenever people have a problem with someone then that is flagging up something about themselves that needs looking at really but it’s easier for them to just say it’s your problem, you shouldn’t do this or be like that etc rather than say well why is that pissing me off ? And don’t get me started on the meanings we attach to everything that people do creating our own little fantasy stories in our head – maybe another time. Keep up the good work young sir – you’re helping a lot of people understand themselves and hence understand each other and that is a beautiful thing.

  58. Amy says:

    Hi Matt,

    The category these people fall into is:
    ‘mis-creators’.
    The negative energy they bring serves to
    destroy and conquer and they just attract more
    of it to themselves.

    Unfortunately the best thing to do is ignore and
    avoid these people.

    Your blog is right on, but in itself a bit critical
    and destructive, so your kinda the pot calling
    the kettle here .. if you get me, but I know where you
    are trying to come from.

    I hadn’t heard of this rappers accident or the
    raft of negative comments, but as I’m a big believer
    in law of attraction, I don’t pay attention to that stuff
    so it never seems to reach me!

    Smile, feel love for yourself and others, look for the good and
    you will only see the good!
    X

  59. Lalagig says:

    Bang on!!

  60. Lee says:

    I agree! But I would probably call their ability to find time to denigrate others a combination of displacement activity than avoidant activity; like you said they are displacing their own feelings of inadequacy, disappointment or boredom of their own lives and so attempt to put others down so they can then feel a sense of satisfaction and superiority at the idea that someone has done something daring and failed. It helps them to think, perhaps, that while they may have dreams they at least are not looking stupid taking risks in actually (shock, horror!) pursuing their own dreams to avoid failing. Denigrating others helps them to stick to their comfort zone- it confirms their limited belief that they shouldn’t dare try.

  61. Michele says:

    As someone who has had to deal with a troll, thank you for reminding me and all of us we’re not alone.

  62. max says:

    Actions=Reactions…Especially when one is in the public arena. You would be surprised how many of us react negatively to your use of curse words. It takes the value of your topics. JMHO.

  63. Plamena says:

    5 minutes are very short time, but at the same time they could be very valuable and they could be used very effectively. I would probably try to get in touch with a friend who I didn’t hear from a long time and see how she or he is doing. I would use these 5 minutes to search and apply for a job, which is an important thing at this stage of my life. Or just read and learn something new that could be helpful for me :)

    Thanks for the question! xx

  64. 1 says:

    When someone hurts another and they cause stress towards one person. The person constantly does it over time. What you think they person feel like be harassed to a point. You were harassed and you try to be nice and them continue to put you down. It all builds up and hurt. What were they trying to achieve by stressing me. What did they want? They you try to confront them.

  65. Vanessa Soleil says:

    oh and these trolls (most especially) need our love, too! Rilke said: “Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.”

  66. Erin says:

    I don’t know about in England, but in the US our media is filled with that as well. There are people who have talk shows for example, often political, who get viewers because they’re shouting and calling people idiots. People say you can’t blame the media/tv, but if you watch it all of the time it can seep into your brain and becomes like another person or group you surround yourself with. (See my P.S.)

    It’s also easier on the internet to say things like that because you’re not face to face with someone. I’m not saying that’s right, but I think it plays into it.

    P.S. I hadn’t seen one of your videos in awhile but you still made it into one of my dreams the other night. Congratulations, haha.

  67. Vanessa Soleil says:

    these “destroyers” are creating something: their own egos. they depend on cutting others down to get that surge of superiority, which is usually boosted in collusion with others who are looking for the same high.

  68. Toni says:

    You’re going to meet many people with domineering personalities: the loud, the obnoxious, those that noisily stake their claims in your territory and everywhere else they set foot on, and You Tube is a perfect medium for these people. This is the blueprint of a predator. Predators prey on gentleness, peace, calmness, sweetness, regret, mistakes and any positivity that they sniff out as weakness. It’s not your job to change these people, but it’s your job to show them that your peace and gentleness do not equate to weakness. The truth is that predators have no strength and no courage. It is you who are strong, and it is you who has courage.

  69. Sandie says:

    I decided to use my 5 mins to say thanks for sharing this. It’s something that’s been bothering me for awhile. I have been trying to understand why people spend energy to tear down others, especially people that they have chosen to follow and in one way or another benefit from. I hope this reaches out to many. Thank you again. All the best with your work.

    ~Sandie

  70. Rebecca Rachmany says:

    Yeah. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s intolerance, and I absolutely despise the haters.

  71. Yaro says:

    So i should spend it by saying how much I love you and you are the best hope everyone was like you :) btw couldn’t concentrate on what you said cuz you are soooo handsome

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