Do You Worry He’s “Not Sure” About You? Do This…

It’s time to say no to being undervalued forever.

One of my favorite quotes says: “If you put a small value on yourself, rest assured the world will not raise your price.”

So if you’re still hanging on that “one guy,” I need, need, need you to watch this. It may just be the biggest wake-up call you’ll ever get…


►► Feel “Enough” No Matter What. I Show You How at: MatthewHusseyRetreat.com

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

76 Responses to Do You Worry He’s “Not Sure” About You? Do This…

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  1. Yolanda says:

    Thiis is so me and thanks for this video

  2. Nat says:

    Beautiful, touching, inspiring!! Thanks so much for this Matthew! Bravo!

  3. Alice Longo says:

    This guy is overly affectionate and he showed me pictures of his self before we even went out his privates and I didn’t appreciate that how do you get away from this I feel like he’s a pervert

  4. Thuraya says:

    There is a question I would like to ask regarding society issues in dating. But I don’t think we get answered here. Where else can we ask?

  5. Cece says:

    Hi Matthew. I’m really paranoid right now for this one and I think I’ll scare my boyfriend away. I think I’m pregnant but don’t know how to go about it because I don’t want him thinking I’m forcing him to stay with me or anything like that but I want him to know so there is that support for each other. Any advice?

  6. Ma. Melade Sevilla says:

    Just leave him! As simple as that. Sometimes women like to run after the the man that they like but the bad thing is, they don’t realize that this one guy doesn’t even care on how they feel. It’s just a waste of time. Women should learn how to value themselves because it’s wonderful to spend time with someone who cares about you and is happy when you are happy.

  7. Mireya says:

    I have a problem, but he’s my husband, we have almost a year separated and he just doesn’t wanna be with me. I tried everything from ignoring to pleading and ignoring works until I screw up, you see I have OCD and it’s hard to not get obsessed, so I need help I need or to get over this guy or get him back. I would like to get over him better, help me please!!

  8. Tsitsi says:

    Thanks a lot Matthew.you doing a great job,you really helping.lots of luv

  9. gigi says:

    Thanks so much. we women often seem to forget about ourselves

  10. ana says:

    Dear Matthew,
    I loved this video. Relationships are hard and you said everything right, sow clear and logical that in the moment when we do stupid thing in the name of “love” I wish i had your brain :) For me the key sentence was there is someone waiting who will be sure of you. Many time we forget that despite our disadvantages we have many qualities that we should guard for us and person who are sure in us. In the end I quote you “We should be giving more to try to be are beast not to be enough”.
    Thank you and your team for this video.

  11. Shreya Singh says:

    Thank you so much Matthew. I’ve been hung up on a guy for the past year and a half and its emotional hell. This was something I desperately needed to hear. Letting go of a relationship you’ve given everything to and you want it to work out is painful. This video is a course correction for me. I listen to you speak..and a woman like me with low self-esteem… I believe that I deserve better.

  12. Aritraa says:

    What you showed and explained about the power of saying no is actually very relevant in terms of what women are facing nowadays. It is indeed a common problem. I learned it the hard way even before I got to know about you. Yes I did too waste some time there but in the end I took a stand for myself and completely cut all connections with that guy.Had I known about you then life would have been a lot easier and hopeful. Thank you Matthew!!!

  13. Irene says:

    This video couldn’t have come at a better time. I think one problem is that we (women) HOPE he will one day say: Yes, I’m ready you are the ONE. But while we are waiting we are destroying ourselves. In order to stop me from contacting him again I’m watching this video every morning and every evening. it has helped me stop all commnication with Mr I don’t kmow what I want. Thank you for the video :)

  14. Jess says:

    I am seriously going to watch this video every day until I hear your voice in my subconscious. I have to let go of ‘this guy’… he’s been hanging around, on the sidelines for nearly 3 years- and I’ve let him because I thought having him 25% of the time was better than none.

  15. Nat says:

    I’ve been following you for a couple of years and this is the video that has compelled me to comment. Wow! It couldn’t have been better timed. After ending a long term (20yr) relationship/marriage it finally felt like things were starting to move in the right direction with someone who has been in my life for three years but with whom I have only been ‘involved’ with for the last 15 month’s. There is no doubt that we have always liked each other but he often goes ‘quiet’ on me. My gut instinct is that it’s because I am a Mum, but I also think he needs to accept that meeting women in their forties means that we come with a past. Your video just reinforces that the problem is him, not me and it’s time for me to stoping waiting for him and move on. Thank you Matt x

  16. Priya Punjabi says:

    Hey…your videos tend to collide so much with my life that you seem to be god sent . Thank you so much for making it easier and logical to take the difficult step of moving away from the “unsure guy” in my life, your video gave me that courage to take the step.I so wish to be a part of your team now and help the women value themselves. I love what you’re doing for us.
    Lots of love and hugs to you

  17. kim kinton says:

    This is so True Mathew!!!!! Thank You!!!

  18. Sara says:

    I’m so grateful to have seen this video today. All my doubts about not being good enough or there being something wrong with me have just melted away. I’m a serial people pleaser to my own detriment. To have heard Matthew’s comments about wasting time on guys that don’t show the same interest, etc has been an eye opener and a much needed prompt for me to make the necessary move to ditch feeling that I am indeed wasting my time and effort on someone who doesn’t feel the same. It’s such a disappointing feeling, but self respect wins out! Thanks Matthew! x

  19. Celeste says:

    Hi

    Your clip was awesome.
    I have been stuggling over a year now with something similar. I have told no one of this till now. I have been married for 20 years. Got married very young & it has been a struggle to say the least. Everything was effort & confusion & heartbreaking. Last year i decided to leave. In that time period a old male friend confessed his feelings for me. He made me feel something i have never felt before. Over time, i have become more unsure of him and feel more like a after thought. In the mean time my husband has been trying his ut most to win me back & has time & time again proven his love, commitment & willingness to change. My choice should be clear, but the love i onece had for him is not there any more. He is a good man my husband, i just dont feel the way i should about him. The other man i spoke of just frustrates me & reminds me of that Katey Prerry song, hot & cold. I have tried to say buy to both men, but neither will let me go.
    Very frustrating.

  20. Martina says:

    Great video.. There is always pain in this kind of relationship, killing inside.. But, is there any possibility of this: What if the guy is maybe “not sure” of his girl because (on a deeper level) she is not sure of herself – and she is the type of girl who really needs The retreat. Can there be a connection between his “not sure” feelings for her and her need for retreat (changing some things about herself and her life)? If the girl in the video is doing her best “to be enough for him” and she feels this inside of herself… can he sense her desperation and can it influence his “not sure feelings” ?

  21. Vimbai says:

    wow this was so life changing. Thanks Matt. Lots of love. It made me realize how important I am.

  22. Rose Toronto says:

    ☺️✨this is one of your best clips so far and they are all good and I thought it is hard to pick one that will be the best one however, I thought this was thr best and most articulate asvcie to today’s modern woman anywhere. Really wonderful Matthew xoxo thanks!

  23. Silvia Arce Murcia says:

    Hello!!

    I have been that “him”, on the other side of the picture, for longer than a year and until last Sunday.
    We started as a “fling” and, “sheltered” by that, we were both comfortable. None of us took it seriously, we had fun, sex was great and laughter all around.
    He started to joke about getting married some day… mmm I went along with the joke but told him that I didn´t think we could survive “in the real life”.
    Then he fell. I thought I fell too, for a short while.
    But no.
    Although he is a wonderful, loving almost-supporting person, his has also a down, dark side that does not fit me.
    I broke up… for the first time, but there were more.
    Long story short, he always said he wanted to keep me, at least, as a friend.
    I tried. But he wants more.
    And because we kept chatting almost every day, he was present, so every time I felt lonely or “hot”, we would get together.
    A couple of months ago I explained what you say in the video to him. But he said that it was not my problem if he suffered or not. That it is not in my power to decide who he wants to be with. He only wants to be with me. And if I do not perform 100%, he would be happy with whatever. No, man. You deserve the best. So do I.
    I answered every message (I never write first), seeing him, sleeping with him, out of pity mostly. But also because it was nice to be with somebody so into me.
    We have been going on like this for two months now (1 year and 3 months in total -pffff).
    My friends told me to stop this several times. I did stop it several times, but he kept on insisting on “being friends”.
    Funny enough, I broke up for the last time yesterday, before seeing this video. I broke up because I was feeling like s***t. I was not consistent with my decision.
    My mind and my heart were in one direction, but my doings were going in a different way. I was not happy with myself, I was not honest with neither of us. I was keeping both of us from meeting a better fit. I was being selfish, getting comfortable and the worst of all; I was not being true to my values.
    It was starting to hurt me more than him. He didn´t care about getting just a small percentage of me, but I did.
    Now, he is upset, he says that “It hurts every time I say no, then yes, then no….” man! NO MORE! NO MORE!
    I really hope this time he will stop messaging. If he does not, I will have to block him. For him. For me.
    Although I am a good, in constant training and searching for improvement person, I have to forgive myself for going against my values and “hiding” behind “he makes me feel liked and wanted and we have such a great time -most of it at least”.

  24. Rieke says:

    I absolutely love that for once you post a video on the exact time where this applies to me. And then I realised that I already just did the right thing. And now I just feel absolutely good about myself :)

  25. Kay says:

    Thank you for this Matt. It is my exact scenario and it has been difficult for me to get over this, “I want to want you” BS. You’re right. I deserve better.

  26. Samantha Jones says:

    That was my favorite video I’ve watched of yours! It works for me because of the part where you said I’m not getting his best, his emotions, his all, which I totally want and deserve!
    He’s already shown me his fear and that he’s not ready and I was accepting less than all. I will not be doing that anymore, even though he’s super fun and we have amazing times always. He doesn’t make me sad or hurt me, in fact he makes me feel heard, loved and protected.
    Even still, that is not everything I desire or deserved and frankly I’ve earned more with all the work I’ve done and continue to do.
    I’m glad I clicked on the link and I outwardly thank the universe for sending me your video message this morning, her timing is always impeccable!

  27. Dora says:

    Thank you very much for this advice, im currently in a similar situation. Ever since ive been seeing these videos it has helped me a lot to accept and realize what i had already known but didnt have the courage to just ignore my feelings and do what is best for me. There is this quote i saw on the internet that matthew hussey says: invest in someone, not based on how much you like them, but how much they invest in you”

  28. Jayne says:

    Thank you your video really opened my eyes and now after 3 years of trying to be enough for him your short video has really opened my eyes.

  29. Loraine Chuckry says:

    Thank you ssssooo much for that video Matthew! It’s exactly what I have been going through and exactly what I needed to hear. You are amazing!

    Sincerely
    Loraine

  30. Iskander says:

    I like the general idea of your video. It takes lots of courage to end the relationship with a person, who only shows up in his/her weak moments for temporary connection. It is understandable why this relationship exists: like in economics, demand generates supply. Guys, who are unable to commit to emotionally intimate relationship, find women, who are not attractive to committers (at least for that period of their lives). I think it is point #2 most have trouble with – not so easy to find “someone out there waiting for you who will be sure of you”. Such perfect partners obviously do not wait around every corner, so it looks safer to have at least SOME kind of relationship. There is a Russian saying that goes: a tomtit in the hands is better than a crane in the sky. Also my concern is not all wo/men are destined to meeting their Mr. Rights. For some folks playing the partners is the only way to have a partner. My opinion might be wrong.

  31. Certain their is a better option says:

    This was absolutely on point! I have had to learn this lesson the hard way too. But when you release yourself for your best to show up and know that you deserve that treatment versus excuses from the person that is one foot in and constantly not focused when you are present with him, then this decision becomes your best one you can make! Chose yourself, recalibrate what your needs and wants are and he will come along your path! Because you are settling for poor treatment, or bad behavior or patterns of uncertainty and the uncommitted.

  32. Danielle says:

    Oh this is EXACTLY what I needed to hear! Thank you!!!!

  33. SAMIA TAQI says:

    thank you so much! this is exactly what i needed to hear right now. I think the same applies to marriage. i know too many ppl “stuck” in unhappy life-situations because they are too scared to be alone and don’t think they will get better. I love and value my alone time and would rather be by myself than settle for less! thank you so much for this video – it’s prevented me from falling back into my old patterns. love from Torono,

  34. Andreea says:

    Hi Matthew I have to say first of all that all you’re videos. I have to say that I had a two years relationship with someone and been on and off. I January I’ve got pregnant by mistake and we have both decided that it would be better not to keep it. He left me for a week to think and then came back. During this time I’ve got an implant and felt my hormones were everywhere. After that I’ve seen him starting to give likes on Facebook to one of his female friends. When asked he said it was a present for her birthday which I found it odd. We started argue more and more and eventually he broke it off with me saying I was making him a bad person.during a 3 months period we had drunk sex 2 times and after the second time he told me wasn’t sure about us getting back together and in a few days told me he found someone else. After 2 days he blocked me everywhere and meeting but by accident he said he wanted to make sure I’m ok. It’s really messed up my head I’m finally trying to move forward but I still miss him . How can accelerate the process more? I can’t stop thinking about him being with someone else now

  35. Elena Penaloza says:

    My ex and I just broke it off. Again. The first time was only after a few months and he said he was scared of being loved and treated the way he treats people because no one has ever done that before so I took him back. This time he says he doesn’t want to not be with me but he doesn’t know if he should be with me. He says he still loves me and that he cares about me but he doesnt feel like he can accomplish everything he’s capable of with me. Im so confused and I don’t know how to move forward.

  36. Claudia says:

    Thanks Matthew for this video, it comes in the right and perfect moment because I have been going around and struggle my mind with thoughts for the last three days and I’m emotionally and mentally exhausted. Once in a while I have these moments of weakness and need some advice or an internal chat that reminds me to go ahead … today was your video. Thanks for encouraging us and the reminds. Now I will return into my path and look forward for me. Love and thanks again . Claudia

  37. Laura Crosby says:

    THANK YOU!!!!

    Spot on, and, I just broke it off with a man who was conflicted and couldn’t get over his past and didn’t know if he could commit. And within a few weeks, (weeks!)I met a MUCH BETTER man who thinks I’m amazing and I’m looking forward to exploring this new relationship.

    But it’s hard to walk away, because we feel that
    some attention, love, companionship, etc. is better than being alone.

    And that’s the lie we tell ourselves.

    Great video, Matt!

  38. Susan says:

    Thank you I needed to hear this that listened to it twice.

  39. Steph says:

    Thank you so much for this. I ended a relationship for exactly this reason almost a year ago but since then, have questioned if I did the right thing. Always wondering if I should have waited it out a little longer, if I worded our last conversation differently maybe things would be different, if I should have just tried to be friends instead of cutting off contact, etc. but this video makes it clear to me that I did the right thing. I may be watching this every day now haha. Just what I needed and so helpful-thank you!

  40. Argentinean Brenda says:

    Thank you Matt!
    You’ve just pictured everything I went through my past “relationship”. If I could have just realized what it was all about and not be hanging on an ilusión, I would have cutt it off sooner and avoided months of suffering.
    This video explains everything a woman needs to know and do!
    Than you!!!

  41. MJ Brienen says:

    Hi Matthew, Thank you for this video. It was like an answer to prayer. I have watched many of your videos and even bought the program Get the Guy Back and today you spoke to my heart. He isn’t worth waiting for. I have had my life on hold waiting for him, and I’m not going to do it anymore. I am going to block his number from my phone and move on. Thank you!

    MJ

  42. Corina says:

    Matt, your advice is always incredible albeit tough to handle. It’s uncanny that the advice given is exactly what I need to hear at just the right time. This is not the first time and it has always been a challenge to accept your advice.

    I’ve been struggling in my most recent relationship for almost 2yrs. We recently broke up for what could be our final break up. We’ve been off and on for months now. It happens everytime some issue arises be it new or the same old conversation (or lack of). I just hope I can heed your words and not be scared to finally move on from this.

    Thank you. You have been an inspiration these past years.

  43. Suzi from Arizona says:

    One of your best videos ever!

  44. Nancy Sigmon says:

    Great video and insight

  45. Nicole says:

    It’s Been almost three years since I was dumped by this guy and yet I’m still waiting for him to figure out if he wants to try again. This is so hard for me because I’m still very much in love with him and we also work together. We spend at least once a month together also. He hasn’t moved on though either so idk what to do. Sometimes I think it might be easier if he did have another girl then I would have no choice but to move on. Idk what to do

  46. Jana says:

    Your constant messaging of seeing our own value has given me the courage to say goodbye to a guy who was/is ‘not sure’. This is still not an easy task and I have to tell myself everyday that my value does not decrease by his inability to see it. This video shares such an important message, thanks Matthew and team.

  47. Annielim says:

    Well well say Matt

  48. Laura says:

    Great video, Matt! I form friendships as well as romantic connections, though. I cut off a man who was long-distance and moved too fast. We did meet in person a couple of times, and it was great. Then he started to keep me in “limbo.” I followed your advice and told him I needed space. I do not think he would work out for me, mainly because of distance (we are in 2 different states). However, I did not like the total disconnect. I contacted him after several weeks just to say hello. We both miss each other. I want to stay connected because I value him and our friendship. Is this a bad idea? Know that I am not focused on him the way I tried to be previously. I have been dating again (locally)! I guess there’s a chance for a future relationship with this man, if we ever wind up in the same area, but I enjoy the connection even if he isn’t my forever after. I value your insight! What are your thoughts on this? Hugs!

  49. Austyn M says:

    Agree in general, & an encouraging video to bring about some reflection. That said, I felt in this position only to realize later some of my behaviors were a big reason for a very valid uncertainty in my relationship. (Not saying blame yourself!!) While we should all get our SOs best, are we giving ours too?!? Matt brought this up albeit very briefly. I feel it’s too common we are talked up, told to have all these expectations, yet those same encouragers don’t often push for us to question ourselves.

    I thought highly of myself and couldn’t see my flaws before or after we split, nobody would call me out because most society simply chalks it up to “you’re awesome the way you are! Or you should be loved the way you are!” Right?!? Its Great to love who you are! Yes! But read some books, watch some videos; there is not only room to always grow and improve, but sometimes there are detrimental habits we don’t realize we engage in until stopping and getting real deep with ourselves. That wont be the case for everyone, but my behaviors (both subtle and others toxic which no friends or family would criticize) turned out to be right under my nose since high school. I wish I’d realized that “self” needs work too instead of just following all these messages touting how I deserve a great partner who always gives their best, when in reality I didn’t deserve it! (The much improved me who is more considerate & invested does though!!! (: )

    It goes both ways, and nobody who has worked on themself and is giving their best should wait around forever. Again though, are you being and giving your honest best, or are you just expecting everything from their side? Be up front and call it out if it’s not mutual, or seek couples counseling if you’ve been honest and see your efforts and commitment aren’t being matched. If you still cant move forward together then of course, its time to do it solo. I’d encourage all to reflect not only on their SO, but also on themselves. Self improvement is never a wasted effort! Also I’m not advocating blaming yourself of making excuses for your SO!!! I’m just saying to make sure you remember you are half of the relationship equation!!!

    Ok go forth and good luck to all who found themselves here watching his vid!

  50. Stefanie says:

    Matthew, I actually cried when I watched this video. You are so correct and I was pretty sure I needed to do this and you have only confirmed it for me! I am on a magnetic path to finding the true love I need and deserve. It’s going to be with a high quality man who will never want to let me go and will be absolutely sure of me! Thank you so much for this gift this morning. I absolutely love your videos, keep them coming please.

  51. Tracy Robbins says:

    First off, thank you Matthew and Team. This video is excellent! I would also reverse this message if you are the girl who isn’t showing up as your best self for an amazing man. Do him the courtesy of letting him go.

  52. Misty Young says:

    I have been dating the same man for 15 years no marriage in sight. This is great advice for me before I waste another 15 years.

  53. Steph says:

    This is by far thee best video you have put out. My heart and mind are at peace

    Thank you

  54. Loretta says:

    I really needed to hear this right now.. thanks Matthew.

  55. Sandy says:

    That’s really true thank u

  56. Rhonda Charles says:

    You are absolutely correct Matthew. What great advise. Tired of waiting around for a man to realize how important I am to him. If he did not know it in 3 years, I dont know what will make him know it now. We as women have to stop appearing as though we are desperate.Thanks again.

  57. Victoria says:

    I love this video, it perfectly sums up everything I’ve learnt (the hard way!) in the last 5 years. If anyone else is in this situation you have to take back control & be empowered enough to walk away from the person ‘who is not sure’ – something so much better is waiting for you on the other side. Thank you Matthew, your advice is always so spot on!

  58. Cindy says:

    Excellent, excellent. Boy did I learn this the hard way, after years of sweating it out, going crazy doing somersaults trying to be perfect for him… all of which sure gave his self-esteem a boost, while destroying mine. And believe me, it took a loooong time to regain trust in myself and feel worthy of being not only loved but adored! No, no ladies. Take Matt’s advise and get out of a no-win situation before it robs you of your inner (and outer) joy for life.

  59. Debbie says:

    Very good! Matt.Absolutely right

  60. Emmanuelle Rouchard says:

    Hello Matt
    Thank you so much to be so very dedicated. You speak to us as if you were speaking to your own sister, or daughter !
    so true what yu say, but so difficult to end an unsatisfactory relationship, as I think that guy is so afraid of emotion, so afraid to love

  61. Julie MacKenzie says:

    Love this! So true…so many people struggle about staying with a person who is not giving their all…everyone deserves the best from one another…

  62. Kerralyn says:

    Thanks Matthew. ..it’s inspired me a lot. …this is the same reason that I found with my boyfriend who behave like not wanted me these days and disappear when he was with me .
    I should cut him off from now onwards.
    Thanks for encourage me to know what I need to choice.

  63. AJ says:

    Thank you! This is so timely for me right now.

  64. Sandra says:

    I’m crying now… thank you so much for this video. I love you for shareing this knowledge <3 .

  65. Becky Chapman says:

    Thank you for the reminder Matthew!

  66. Rhyleigh says:

    This came at the right time right now because I going through this rn at this moment this with help me so much thank you

  67. Amy o says:

    This is so so so true. Been in this situation in the past and it almost happened again recently. I just had to say no to the guy and kept moving forward. You don’t have to be with someone who isn’t sure.

  68. Sam-jackson Jemima simdiga says:

    Tnk u Mathew that’s my present situation but wit this video I’ll say no

  69. lynn says:

    What if I’m the person who’s not sure either.
    We’re both unsure, but are not able/wanting to give up on smth that might become smth beautiful.
    The fear of regretting it later is holding me back to actually let go. Bc what if…

  70. Cristina sandu says:

    Hi Matt! Just wanted to take the time to say how wonderful you are and how much you helped me Grow by only watching your videos on YouTube.
    Thank you for existing and doing all this advices for all woman out there, God bless you and give you joy in your life, you truly deserve it.

    I really really appreciate you and everything you do for all woman around the world.

  71. Andrea Serbin says:

    Thank you so much Matthew you saved me you made me open my eyes and realize a lot damn you’re good thank you so much for all your videos WOW you’re amazing thank you so much

  72. Stephanie says:

    Matthew I’ve been watching you and reading your work since you started years ago.. Around 2009 or so. And I have to say THIS is the most loving, warming, caring, sweet, encouraging video I’ve ever seen you do. You get to the depth of the truthfulness that lies in those bad situations & is encouraging to see you, a man standing up for all those women that watch/read you, like a caring brother that wants the best for all his sisters. Thank you! For shining brightly & encouraging all to act & do what’s right, so that every woman out there realizes her potential & her true beautiful self. Much love Matthew!

  73. Rachelle says:

    I’m at this point already… tired of feeling worthless. This has really helped me. Thank you Matthew!!

  74. Lynn says:

    This may be the best video you’ve ever done. Brief, straight on and true true true. Thank you for always beating to the drum of self-value and aligning your actions with that self-value. Amazing! Very grateful over here for your words.

  75. Marisa says:

    This was the video I needed this week. I just cut it off with a guy who hasn’t been sure of me for almost a year. I thought he would change his mind and ”see me” but he kept being unsure and when I said enough that’s when he told me he was hoping for more, which I don’t believe because when I said talked to him and asked if he wanted more he was still unsure. Thanks for your video, perfect timing.

  76. Jay says:

    Thanks Matthew. It’s not like I don’t know this but it’s still good to hear and follow through with the actions. I’ve been playing cat and mouse with my ex from my twenties (I’m in my forties) and it’s so true ‘Ex for a reason’! I took my eye off my goal of a steady, solid, equally balanced relationship because I was feeling lonely. I listened to the compliments and his gaslighting only to be reminded of the reason why he’s my ex when he let me down. Luckily I didn’t do anything that I’d seriously regret and have decided to cut him off and move forwards with my life. I’m off on a Girls Trip tomorrow and I couldn’t be more excited about what the future holds. Thanks for your wonderful advice, energy and spirit. We need more Matthews ❤️

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