Expectations vs. Reality

Hey guys, check out this video first before moving on to the second one, as I use it here to illustrate my point.

If you’ve ever experienced the pain of losing someone, there is a technique you need to learn for shifting the emotion you feel when you’re heartbroken. So even if you’re not heartbroken right now, maybe you have been in the past, or maybe you want to be fully equipped with it for the future!

Click Here To Change Your Love Life Forever

Song for the day:

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

201 Responses to Expectations vs. Reality

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  1. Mia says:

    The expectation versus reality hit way too close to home. My expectation versus reality are not quite that far apart but they are not in sync. I am still trying to figure out how to get them in line. I do enjoy your videos and I crave your information unfortunately is that a price I cannot afford so I’ll just continue to watch your videos thank you

  2. Fiona Wynder says:

    Hi Matthew,

    I’ve followed many of your programs and I have a lot of respect for you and what you do. I whole heartedly believe in what you teach & believe it works however I’m having bro lens still. I’m trying to put your plans in action, but can’t find the way, I honestly need to be spoon fed the shit. I need a script for my situation, some sort of guideline I can fallow. Please help me out of the dark hole that I am in. I’d appreciate it so, so very much.
    Sincerely,
    Fiona

  3. Delicia says:

    You’re advice is very helpful and much needed. I’m a single mother single for 6 yrs not sure what I’m doing wrong!!

  4. rissa says:

    hi matt, that’s true! thank you for all the great advice :)!!!

  5. Jackie says:

    I love this reminder. We hurt ourselves when we forget reality and don’t manage our expectations properly.

  6. Alice says:

    How funny! The first time I saw this film I felt It was about me.
    I know It was just three months however for me It was enough to know I wanted to Spend my whole life with him, After around 8 months, he told me that he hardly thinks of me, no hope to be together however I felt so depressed. But I feel much better just because I heard that my pain it’s , to a certain extend, healthy.
    Thank you vvery much, it made me feel released in that sense.

  7. Eve says:

    This was fab article and I would really love to read the first few pages of your ebook, like you can on amazon when you’re thinking about buying a book. I can not find any proper reviews on google, every link (i’ve tried about 20) takes me to the buy page which is a bit creepy, sorry. And at total odds with the positive way you come across in video and in the written word. Its like its being hard sale pushed by an American ad agency, in the same vein as those horrid span banners like; this mum has secret tip to teeth whitening, you know what i mean.

    Many thanks Eve

  8. Sands says:

    Everything you say Matthew is so true! I had my heart smashed to pieces last year but thankfully, I have come to realise he was not the right guy for me and I refuse to let that experience spoil my life and any potential future romances :-) Thank you for all your great advice!

  9. Amie says:

    Thank you so much for this video! That’s exactly what I needed to hear! :D

  10. Aimee says:

    I am so thankful for this video. my heart was so broken – I almost commit suicide. In fact,the guy who broke my heart told me to kill myself. He’s a real jerk, I know, but I’m still sad about it. It happened last night too. I admit that this video makes me feel a little bit better, but I’m still very sad; I can’t stop thinking about him- which terrifies me. This video has helped me out heaps. It makes me feel heaps good about myself. Thanks for words of advice, Matthew. xx

  11. Janet says:

    Too bad, the first video cannot be view as it has been blocked in my area. But it’s ok I can relate I saw the movie twice and it’s a highly recommended movie.

    Thank you for reminding me of this movie again and explaining your message to us through this movie. Having a positive perspective out from unhappy ending is the way to find your soon to be partner. Great message, Matt! More power to you!

  12. Diana says:

    Is this always like this? I mean…From being totally fallen in love to realize that everything’s a LIE, in this moment I don’t believe in this feeling anymore, I won’t deny it was fun at the beginning but now everything has lost its sense, the sparkle its just gone..

    I share this because I was excited and so happy days before..but I guess I just fooled myself within al the fantasy stories I made up

    Nevertheless I don’t want to transmit my bitterness so I hope all of you girls can find the love you’ve been looking for, never give up as I decided to do..good luck

  13. Sumaya says:

    Thank you Mat for sharing this video with us. I am using this therapy for all other aspects in my life and it truly does work.

  14. Erin says:

    Thanks Matthew. I so needed to hear this right now.

  15. serinachbibi says:

    well … i know what you meen i loved a guy for five years and really thought that his the man that i will spend the rest of my life with
    but after we got married he turned to someone i don’t know the last few years with him i was always saying that someday he will be back for me he will remmaber what i did for him and the man that i fall for will comeback for me
    and when we had a baby i thought this will unite us but it mad everything worse
    and i was afraid of losing him so i exept the pain and the hurt from him
    then oneday i was searching the internet for answers about how i can get him back
    and i saw you and you changed all my life so thank you for that
    i went to him and told him that i can’t live like this anymore
    and i really want a divorce
    and since that day my life is going amazing but i still didn’t find that perfect man for me but i won’t give up maybe someday i will find him and then i will be the happiest woman on earth
    at first the pain was so bad i was crying all night because every time i looked to the side of the bed , he just wasn’t there
    i was hurting and trying to become stronge i tried and tried till i fainally forget his smell
    and everytime when someone talks about him i feel nothing
    so thank you matt
    i told you that you are man of my dreams and my hero

  16. prabha says:

    Hey, pls help can’t see the video

  17. Courtney says:

    So my mom (i’m 17) has been in only 3 or 4 relationships. The first long-term relationship she was ever in was with my father. After they were married, they had my siblings and I, but he passed away after 14 or so years of being married to her. She completely broke down, and didn’t date for a couple of years. When she got back out there, she never brought any of her dates home – which is understandable – but when she finally did, she dated the guy for about 4 years. She found out that he was married, or that he had been married for 16 years, and that she was a part of an affair. She met his wife, and after talking to her, she cut him out of her life. She hated him – she was so devastated that he lied to her for 4 years. She started talking to a friend of hers, my present day step-father. But recently, he’s cheated on her too. Now that I’m a little older, she’s telling me how she feels, how she hates all men, and that I should too. I’m afraid that any future boyfriend of mine that i decide to have meet her she’ll over-analyze, because she doesn’t want him to hurt me like all of those other men hurt her. Now, I’ve been watching your videos long enough to realize that she’s only talking through her emotions, and I shouldn’t hate men for what a few of them did to her but, i can’t help but feel as if they’ve damaged her so much that she’s no longer capable of loving another man again. I’ve never been able to see her happy. She always finds faults in whoever she’s dating, and she’s obviously too guarded to ever let herself fall in love again. Is there any hope for her? I love her to death, and i couldn’t bear to see her live the rest of her life single and lonely. Any advice? :)

  18. Cloud says:

    Guess I’m dead! I bought the book,been reading this blog ect…the past two videos made me realize I’m the bitch you described from the prior video, and I’m dead apparently. I also realize that after being married for 10 yrs and being divorced for 3…..I’m actually enjoying my company. Maybe I’ll read your book and log on when I’m ready to date..ttfn!!

  19. Carolyn says:

    Hey Matthew!
    I just wanted to thank you for posting this video and actually addressing the pain that so many people decide to ignore. One of my friends is going through some heartbreak and I just wanted to thank you for making this video because I’m sure that it can help them with their love problems. As far as people that have serious heartbreak I was just wondering how you help them recover and feel again. My friend, he’s a wonderful guy and I really like him but I’m worried that he won’t ever be able to move forward in his love life. How can I help him get over this other girl? How can I help him open up again?

    Thanks so much!!
    Carolyn~

  20. Shagufta says:

    Thanks Matt, this video was so well timed.. I lost someone who I thought was my soal mate and now I see someone very similar to him in front of me, but am so fightened in case it turns out the same way, but this video is so positive and highlights that even iif it does, and it may not, I should be disappointed and not so heartbroken this time!

  21. Rosalie says:

    broken heart hurts as hell :(
    but what’s the worst is when it’s constantly being broken! I still don’t know if this is the time to give in & walk away, or ..if i still have the chance & should fight to get what i want…
    from one side, i don’t want to hurt myself more & have this crazy expectations just to get disappointed over & over again, but from another – i also don’t want to loose the chance, if i still have one… !
    How to recognize when is the right moment to leave & move on?! Help!

  22. Vall says:

    Thank you. Its completely changed everything.

  23. Elle J says:

    Thank you soooo much for this video, its exactly what i need now to go on forward with my life,because I divorced 2 years ago and until now i did not feel ready for moving forward, (and i also have a 5 year old son, so it’s clear thats no longer so easy to get involved into a new relationship, i dont know how are things this way in the UK ,but here its very difficult that another man would be okay with my son because men are not so open minded when it comes to kids from another marriage), soo back to the video i come to the conclusion that the healthiest method is not you make too many illusions but to accept things as they come, good or bad.
    I am soo sory that I saw the video on beauty just this week, and in connection with the message of the video I found a quote very wise and very beautiful …..

    “When you start to know someone, all their physical characteristics start to disappear . You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant.”.

    I do not own this, i just find it on the net.

    Once again THANK YOU sooo much for all your hard work in helping us with the insecurities and complexes which are sure that each one of us has.

    KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK .

  24. Ruth says:

    Oh, Matthew, somehow I’ve discovered it my self, but i couldn’t name it. I’ve been through lot of guys and a LOT OF PAIN, but now I clearly understand, that eventually there is only one love life, I don’t know how, but THAT soul mate will clearly recognize you. What I want to say is: does getting a ‘guy’ has a meaning if he’s certainly not your lovelife and you see it clearly, why do you have to search and look for HIM everywhere? OKay, maybe it’s the part of the plan, MAYBE SOME OF US need this kind of plan to raise our personalities to prepare them for meeting the one? The more I go to dates the more I see, that my man is somewhere else, I see lying to myself every time I’m thinking: maybe he’s the one? Nooo.. it can’t be that question, it just can’t be. As I said, I believe in recognition. btw, Matthew is the name of a boy, whom I thought would be my lovelife, but I was wrong. By googling “matthew” I found You, thanks to him! How can I expect for any response? There are a lot of women with big stories to tell:) hope you will read it.

  25. Mags says:

    I really love your advice, Matthew. I wish I had it around 7 years ago, back when my toxic relationship started. Now I just managed to get into terms with it and discovered you, who ensured me that what I do is right. Funny enough, I could never get out of the relationship hoping the guy would change, thinking he was the one. Some time ago I started thinking how disappointed I was, how the guy just was not the one for me and would never change. Since i changed my attitude towards him, I was finally able to move on. So what you just put in your blog video is totally true and works magic. xxx

  26. ijeoma ogbuanya says:

    Thanks dear

  27. Zaina says:

    Mat , I just wanna tell u that u r an amazing man , and thats what i really needed to hear , U r Awesome

    Zaina …Baghdad

  28. PM says:

    Sometimes I wonder if you are able to read my mind. 3 days ago I had the same experience as the guy in the film. I thought that this guy was going to be mine – but now, out of nowhere, he’s in a relationship and I thought to myself, “You have to see this as a lost chance but it won’t be the end for you eventhough it hurts so bad right now.”
    So I’ll live through the pain for now and hopefully be back on my feet in some time.

    xoxo, and thank you Matthew!

  29. Emma says:

    That scene will never stop being excruciating. I don’t know if I can thank you for making me endure that again.

    At 27 I am not only still a virgin, I have never been in a relationship with anyone, which makes me feel like my inexperience in connecting with anyone is only going to be a bigger hurdle as it goes on. So naturally any (every!) crush that ends upset feels pretty awful. Also hearing constantly that guys don’t want to have anything to do with virgins for a couple of reasons but mostly because we won’t know what to do and we’ll be clingy (!) doesn’t help.

    I’ve kind of resigned myself to the fact that maybe I belong by myself, but it’s hard when yet another guy who I like just doesn’t feel the same and it goes and hurts all over again.

    Thanks for the video though. I really do know it’s the right advice, but changing an entire mindset of at least 12 years build up is proving to be nearly bloody impossible! xxx

  30. Roxana says:

    Thank you so much. Your videos are an inspiration to all of us who have gone through heartbreaks.

  31. Valerie says:

    Hey Matthew! :) I’ve been watching your videos for a loooong time now and I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoy them! :)

    I just got one question: Many people tell me that I am literally chasing love..That that is wrong and that I should try to focus on other things in life and that once I stop wanting it so bad…it will just happen ;)

    But I want to fall in love and be loved and experience every aspect of love..I just want it so bad..

    so what’s your opinion? :D Thank you so much for everything!

  32. Laura says:

    Hi Mathew

    Such great advice as per usual. Can really relate to it as I have been hurt in the past. Also, 500 days of summer – such a great film.

    Take care xx

  33. Zubaida Shariff says:

    Please please please if you can arrange for something in Kuala Lumpur. I will get all the ladies to hear you out ..Matt !!

  34. Jessica Cha says:

    Hi Matthew, thanks for the positive video! I actually bawled my eyes out during that scene when I watched the movie for the first time..

    I went through a phase in my life for about 7 years, I thought I had lost “the one” and eventually I realized how silly I’d been thinking..

    I also went through the numb phase, where nobody could get through to me, until a guy made me feel like a million bucks. He would come by my work and fog up the glass with his breath and draw little hearts on the glass when he saw I was having a rough day.. and came to my house in the middle of the night, called me out in my pajamas with my hair a mess and serenaded me with an out-of-key song he wrote for me because I was “so offbeat, regular chords wouldn’t do me justice”… about 6 months later we ended up breaking up and that’s when I realized that everyone is special and everyone has something to offer.. that no one person means life or death to your love life.

    Now I’m in a phase where I am comfortable being by myself, but I want something more. I can’t have children and so a lot of guys don’t want a future with me, which is fine and understandable.. and I know eventually someone will love me regardless of that (getting teary eyed, sorry) but I’m nearly 30 and it’s starting to feel hopeless.

    I can’t wait til June 7th. I live on the east coast of the US and have never been able to make it to one of your seminars. Again, thank you for the positive message. I think I’m gonna go watch the movie again now, before bed.

    xx
    Jess

  35. Thalia says:

    Thanks Matthew ! You have really helped me through my love life. I was at the friendzone with my best friend and I finally got out of it in a good way ;) Your awesome at what you do! I love your videos : ) take care!

  36. Melissa says:

    Matthew, thank you so much for saying that feeling pain is okay, because that means you have a heart, that you believe in love. These last months I was refusing to believe in love, because I have too much pain inside of me. I realized that when you said it, and I realized that I didn´t want to believe because I didn´t want to feel that kind of horrible pain again.
    Thanks for saying that about the meaning we give to things or people. You are so right. I was thinking he was my soulmate and he wasn´t. And now that I realize it I feel incredibly good.
    Thank you so much for your words and advice. I feel very grateful.

  37. Grace says:

    Hi Matt
    I know I’m only young (I’m 18) but I was in an on/off relationship for 3 years I finally dumped him in October because for the last few months of our relationship he was cheating on me with loads of people including some girls I counted as friends. Since then I have not been able to even fancy anyone. There have been guys ive liked but I can’t seem to do anything about it because I keep thinking about how they will hurt me… I know this sounds pathetic but i need help…
    Grace

  38. Shelby says:

    Again, I find myself commenting on your videos. It is truly inspiring, and I am very excited to hear about this big new announcement next week! It’s amazing how you can reach your viewers without even being there with them, physically. Keep up the fantastic blog! :)

  39. Cassi says:

    500 days of Summer is one of my favorite movies for how real a film it is. Not a happy ending, but life isn’t always happy.

  40. natasha says:

    heartbreak sucks. I just realized how much my 1st heartbreak affected me. And now I see a new interesting person, and I wish they would want me, and want to make me feel loved. But they quickly lost interest. I think i need to be my own superhero. How do you build emotional strength to be confident? how do you make a man want to treat you well?

  41. Dani says:

    “I feel pain, but he/ she is not the right person for me.” So my life and my search are not over.
    That’s exactly the way we should be thinking after being disappointed by someone.
    Thank you for this video, Matthew. I hope I will be able to attend some of your events in the future in person.

    Wish you really all the best!

  42. Renee says:

    Great video! since i have never actually had a relationship i have never been heartbroken in that way – but i have had crushes and they ended badly – so i still get it – and i usually just brush it off and say oh well that was a waste of my time but now i can move on :) The Best is YET to come!!! and i am excited for that day to arrive! ;D

    • Renee says:

      one guy i liked for 6yrs – then finally braved myself to go up and talk to him – and he didn’t even respond (i think he was like ‘oh great here is that dreaded day – lol) he just looked at his phone and was texting – now that i look back on it, yes it hurt at the time – but now its kinda funny lol – my family is going to be moving soon as soon as our place sells, we don’t know where exactly a different city or maybe a different state even – then there may be more options as far as guys go lol – either way i know i am finally ready to begin a relationship – a real one.

  43. BirdBee says:

    Thank you so much!
    I always thought that maybe I am too demanding, twisting movies and reality, and always end up settling for whatever he decided to offer hoping to reach full happiness as time goes by. It’s kind of a heartbreak, a slow and growing one… Now I know that I’m not silly, that I don’t have to go through that, selling myself sort, being so convenient. Things can always be better. Patience and faith will prove us right Matthew, they will prove us right. Thank you so much for you videos!

  44. An says:

    Wow! This is awesome!
    Thanks!!

  45. Casey says:

    Thank you so much Matthrew!

    I was totally ‘hopeless’ about 6 months ago; don’t believe in ‘LOVE’ anymore, don’t trust any guy, don’t want any relationship’.So i went out with every guy i met; Canadian, Slovakian, Belgium, Korean. Since i am a foreign student in Korea i have wider chance to meet with a lot of foreigner who came and study here.I told to them that ‘I am such a mess, i don’t believe in relationship, i care nothing and i don’t even care about the gossips etc ect’.
    I was acting like that because my ex ex boyfriend who’s been together with me for 6years cheated on me within the whole 6years (with a lot of girls). I broke up with him and dated with a Korean. But i didn’t go well and yeah we broke up.
    Since then, I stop believing people and shut my mind off.
    But a few months ago, i found your videos on youtube (at first, i was attracted only because of your apperance and accent of course :) ). And then i felt that you believe in what you’re saying, also very confident in yourself. I was very sure that yu are professional in this field.
    So, i became watching your videos everytime i feel depressed and stressed. Living in a foreign country is already stressful, and plus guys problems,studying and everything, your videos made me gain the confident again and HAPPY again!

    NOW i think i m ready to be in a relationship!! I haven’t found the guy who’s cute enough to date yet. But I am sure i will meet in a very near future. At least I want to be in a realtionship, right? :) :)

    Again, thanks for the video Matthrew. :)

    • BirdBee says:

      You couldn’t have said it better.

      I too live in a foreign country (China). So so so far from my home. When solitude, stress, school and cultural shock mix together, there’s nothing more poisonous for a single young woman. We lose the mind seeking for a little warm.

      I’ve been searching like crazy on the internet to find some advice, like a big brother or kind of a father (since mine died long ago), to keep me from bad behavior. Of all people, bloggers, coaches I found, Matthew stood out as the best, the one who got my trust, so pedagogic, simple, precise, understanding and professional. He’s my official personal pill in time of confusion or depression.

      I’m cheering you up darling for I know just exactly what you are going through. Thx God for the creation and leading of Matthew Hussey!!!

  46. Camille says:

    Thank you Matthew for making us girls happier everytime you post your advice videos. It really does change our lives.

  47. Jessica says:

    I’ve never really gone through a heartbreak, but hearing this video has taken away some fears that I’ve had about feeling pain because of another person and has given me a little more ambition. It doesn’t even need to be applied necessarily to only your love life, but can be applied in many areas of life where we experience pain. These videos are flowing with wisdom and are invaluable.

  48. Emi says:

    Thank you Matt, I needed to see/hear this. I sometimes forget that guys have feelings too – I don’t know why but I think they are robots and I forget they get shy/upset to all the emotions us girls have. I like this guy at the moment and I can see him trying but sometimes I think I make it up – I feel I need to do something about it but I can’t – waiting not creating therefore I am frustrated with the situation. Anyways, always love your work and its practical application as well as honesty always delivered with love!
    Thanks again!Emi

  49. Rumy says:

    Never saw it that way before, shifting the way you think about the situation really is a smart way to deal with things! But sometimes it’s just too hard to let go of what you thought was true =( great video as always – THANK YOU Matthew

  50. Lynn says:

    So you say it’s ok to be sad about the fact that the guy wasn’t the right one yet. And after we become sick of being sad it’s good to see that there are other nice guys out there and we become happy again…

  51. Sarah says:

    Great video! I needed to hear that perspective right now. Thanks Matthew!

  52. Steph says:

    You are awesome, Matthew. Thank you so much for this!

  53. Crystal Woods says:

    Good Day 2 u Matthew,

    In response 2 ur video blog post @ “AnyOne who’s Ever had their heart broken.”

    The ironic thing I notice was the things u said in ur blog following the video were very similar 2 a blog I wrote @ 5 yeArs ago in November of 2007.

    And also, another interesting coincidence was that I recently just saw that film (500) days of summer a few nights ago too.

    My blog was entitled: “Broken Hearts ( Can / They ) Mend,” if u or anyone is interested in reading my rendition of this subject feel free 2 contact me @ ur discretion.

    Oh, & by the way I believe u are doing a superb job when it comes 2 informing ur clients on matters of the heart through the interesting topics in which u deliver.

    From: Crystal W_

  54. Misha says:

    Great stuff again Matt. This is amazing, its real service. I can see what you mean.

    My biggest regret is that I live half a world away and cant see you in person.

    By the way my favorite point during all these viewings is when you show up on the screen with a greeting. you’ve come to mean so much and stand for so much that its a pleasure to just watch you come back again. All the positives vibes begin to cascade right at the outset.

    you’ve had me at hello!

  55. Fiona says:

    Thank you, Matthew – this is such a helpful way of looking at things. If only someone had explained this concept to me ten years ago, I would have saved myself so much time feeling heartbroken over guys I now know were not right for me, and instead would have gotten on and lived life in a fuller way! Thank goodness I know better now and have the confidence to move past it a lot more quickly when I’ve been hurt by a guy – but it’s so good to have it thought out and explained in the way that you have here.

    Thank you – I’m finding your blog videos so helpful and thought provoking and inspiring! I might come to one of your courses next year when I move from New Zeand to London!

  56. sherine kerr says:

    hi Matthew, you have helped me to come to terms with why i was feeling like this. and what feeling like this means for me.it was not meant to be!! i feel inspired to not give up on love, and i still have hope that i will find that special man. thank you

  57. Claudia says:

    I really liked this video.. thanks for the things you’ve said, you’re soooo right.
    The thing is, not so easy to do that in practice. You keep telling yourself he was a jerk, that he was the wrong person for you, cos if he broke your heart then he definitely was NOT the right person. Cos if he was, you two were still together, right? :P
    STILL there’s another tiny part of you that cannot help thinking how good you would feel when you were with him, so you miss him and think that you’ll have with no one else the connection you would have with him. You kinda hope one day he’ll wake up and realize the mistake he has made, even if you know really really well that’s NOT gonna happen.

    So, once again, yeah you’re completely right, but it’s not that easy to make that giant leap that makes you think you feel disappointed cos you’ve found out he was the wrong person for you and not cos you’ve lost your soul-mate. Still you have to make it, otherwise you’ll be like stuck in a limbo :)

    Btw thanks again for the video! Illuminating as usual :D

  58. cici says:

    i love it

  59. Jacqueline says:

    Great message Matthew. And what I LOVE about that movie is when he meets someone even better suited for him as a RESULT of him getting over Summer. He might still be writing greeting cards if she didn’t catapult him into misery. Sometimes we need to hit rock bottom before we realize we didn’t actually like where we were or who we were with etc.

    Sometimes these heartbreaks teach us about ourselves and what we want and don’t want and are stepping stones to something greater!

  60. Maya Morgan says:

    Wow!! Thank you so much for that! It spoke to me right away! I actually have seen this happen very close for my father. He is 50 years old and hasn’t had a girlfriend since my parents divorced 15 years ago.
    He’s exactly the extreme one you described. He has had that pain for 15 years because he is still stuck to the idea that she was the one. But the truth is if it didn’t work it was for a reason and he still doesn’t want to accept that. He has closed his heart, like you said. He lost his way, himself, his confidence, and his ambition. It has changed the way he lives his life. Because he stayed in love with the dream of them being the perfect couple. You are absolutely right, it makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE and I am really happy you talked about it that way, reminding us how the way we deal with pain can make all the difference in what the future will be. If my dad had seen it with other glasses, the glasses of the responsible one and not the victim he would have not given up on himself and on love and he would have tried again and again and probably succeeded. So, it’s letting go of the image you had, the attachment to the potential of that relationship we create in our head but that’s not always the realty.

    So, please, lets never forget that we have a choice!! Even if it’s hard to see when we are heart broken. We can be disappointed, it’s totally normal but lets not give up! Like you said so well, the pain is a natural thing. Let’s live our pain, lets be sad if we are, it’s part of life, but than lets let go and move one! I am telling you this because I’ve seen the damage in my father, the damage of holding on to the past, closing all the doors. It’s a way you don’t want to go. The end of something is always the beginning of something new and with relationships I think this is very true too.

    Thank you so much!! :)

  61. Leslie says:

    This video…wow. It’s like you think you’re so smart about everything, and maybe you are, but everybody has at least one area in which they don’t excel, and that’s normal. That video was simply enlightening, once everything was said, it made so much sense… I can’t believe how long I’ve been going through my love life without that knowledge !

    THANK YOU SO MUCH MATTHEW

    You are a faithful one =)

    Big love,

    Leslie

  62. Karen says:

    I love that movie, thank you for all your videos and wonderful advice. Can’t wait for your news! I wish I was closer to go to one of your retreats.
    Greetings from Mexico!

  63. Susan says:

    Thank-you for the video. It is a very good tip. I enjoy your energy and sense of humor.

  64. Diana says:

    Oh my God! too many comments! I hope you have the time to read them all Matty =) Well mine is not that large…I just realize how mind can be such a powerful gun of destruction or instead…a lovely machine that let our dreams live for a while and make us happier…

    I bet all of us has suffered pain in certain edge of our lives, however I must confess that before I took it like if were the end of the world so I repressed every feeling trying to hide my human side…Now I can say freely that I’m alive!

    I permit myself to FEEL for once in my life and that’s a jewel that I won’t never let others to take away..not this time..not even the person I love..

  65. Carolina says:

    Oh dear where do I begin, everything that I’ve seen on the blog is just AMAZING and HELPFUL!!! Definitely will pass the word on =)

  66. Sharon says:

    Great point! We ladies got to learn to connect. Tune in. Be intuitive emotionally.

  67. Tiko says:

    You’re absolutly right Matt, thank you for such videos, everytime when I listen to you I feel like someone is supporting me and that it’s normal to be upset and feel pain and be dissapointed. everyone tells me the things you were talking about casuall things that it’s ok, you deserve better and you need time. Noone told me yet that you know it’s normal, it’s funny but this words mean really much. I know and I hope I’ll find someone someday who will be the one. so thanks again for supporting us everytime :)

  68. Rebekah says:

    Thank you Matt for the video :) I personally never had much of a heart break seeing as how I’m only 19 and I have my whole life ahead of me. But it’s amazing how much we are greatly affected by even the little things in our lives. This is definetly some great advice. When I am feeling down because a crush got away from me or it didn’t work out with a guy, (might sound silly) I just put on some really loud music and cook or clean something.

  69. Jo says:

    Hi Matt,

    thanks for that video! It really came at the right time, I am still feeling the pain after 1 year from a breakup and now it makes more sense. I moved country for my ex-boyfriend to his home country. It turned out to be a power struggle and he made all the important decisions of where to live, etc as my visa depended on him. In the end I realised it was unhealthy and he kicked me out of the bedroom and i had to sleep on the couch and on an air-mattress in the spare room until i found alternative housing. I have since moved home and recently made improvements in my career but still feel bogged down by the pain. He was certainly not the “one”! thanks matt! x

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