Facebook Relationship Status – How To Change It Without Scaring Him Off

In this week’s episode of LOVELife we talk Facebook relationship statuses, and whether or not you should bring them up with a guy you’re with.

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13 Responses to Facebook Relationship Status – How To Change It Without Scaring Him Off

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  1. Brittany says:

    Thanks for covering this topic. While I’ve always shared the same opinion as you and choose to keep my status unlisted it has bothered me on and off that his status is single, listed front and center on his home page. It feels like a slap in the face. He travels ALOT for work. He is a people person and has a personality that draws people in and everyone just loves him. And with every trip comes a herd of new female FB friends and all their latest selfies. Every photo he likes is a knife in the heart to me. I think that is why his single status bothers me. It has developed into an obsession and insecurity for me. I’ve never experienced feeling like this and I don’t know how to fix it. He likes for me to send him pictures while he is away but i cant compete with those other girls, I’m unphotogenic and not that pretty so i stopped sending him pictures. Not sure how he feels about that but probably doesn’t even notice. I keep my feelings to myself and try not to let it change how I interact with him. I’ve made light of it twice but didn’t dwell on it in conversation so I’ve decided not to mention it ever again. It does help to hear another man say how unimportant the whole fb thing is to him though. I’ll be trying to keep that in mind while i deal with my insecurities. Thank you Matthew for sharing all your valuable insight.

  2. Emma says:

    Great video.

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  4. kish says:

    Hi Matthew,
    Loved this! I agree with you 100%. Sometimes I wish there was no Facebook to deal with in dating. It makes things so complicated. It causes nothing but misunderstandings. I have seen/heard so many people get into fights because of some incriminating photo of their bf/gf, some questionable comments/likes from others on their facebook page and the whole issue of stating that you’re “in a relationship”. Facebook doesn’t tell the whole story, yet it is on display to ALL the people you know-colleagues, friends, acquaintances and family-a perfect recipe for Mass Misunderstandings.
    When things do wrong, you have so much explaining to do. For me personally, whether I am in a relationship or not, no matter how serious or how long, I don’t post anything on Facebook related to it. Those who know and really matter will eventually know where you stand and if you’re married or single.
    Besides, like you mentioned, no Facebook status update protects any relationship. I have seen married guys (declaring their status on Facebook), cheat on their wives and there are women willing to cheat with these men fully well knowing that they are married. No pictures of their spouses on their Facebook walls were able to prevent break ups and cheating from happening.
    Most people are obsessed with statuses because there is so much stigma associated with being single that people feel the need to constantly justify that yes, they are desirable and desired, that they are not lonely and they have “won” their prized trophy-their S.O.- to make everyone envious.
    I think our mindsets need to change that having a bf/gf is not the goal of anybody’s life. It is the side-dish and nothing more. It doesn’t make anyone better or more “complete” than others because they are married and it doesn’t solve any problems.
    Matthew, I think you should address the root cause of this obsession with Facebook statuses in one of your videos.
    -Why do people think it is some kind of achievement to be in a relationship?
    -Why do people view their S.O. has some of prize to be won? Whatever happened to simply being with another and truly sharing and caring?
    -Why are we “incomplete” if we are single?
    -What is “wrong” with being single?
    -If the SO is not such a Prize Catch, why do people feel the need to change their partners constantly? Why do people try to “upgrade” and jump from one relationship to another? Is it really for themselves or for others?
    What do you think Matthew, if we eliminated these personal and social pressures, how many people would still get married? Would they choose their current partners? How would their behavior change? Would they still put up with what they do to keep their relationships?
    Personally, I think if this happened, there would be fewer marriages but more successful marriages and relationships also fewer divorces.

    • kikolja says:

      Hi kish,

      I really loved your comment! It gave me a lot to think about.

      Personally, I think people who choose to “flash” their relationships are people, who haven’t achieved enough to love themselves. They look at others who are, for example, sportsmen, who trained for years and now earn trophies, celebs, who worked for their fame and now stand in the spotlight, and even their own friends, who get pregnant or marry and get all this attention. That is why one WANTS this attention and being gazed at. Of course it is a lot harder to achieve this when you are single, because you should go hard or you can go home, the expectation bar of what is praise-worthy is set much higher, than delighting everyone around you with the cuteness of being a couple or having a baby.

      People also feel pressured to pair, because mother nature shows all organisms breed amongst each other. And besides marrying is considered “the next step” of a relationship, even if it is not important for a woman to have a reassurance of “til death do us part”, sooner or later we do get paranoia “why doesn’t he make the next step to our relationship. is there something wrong with us? me?” Not that I personally acknowledge this stress, but nature has hardwired the reproduction part, everything else like career and amusements is created by us humans… so yea it is up to individuals what they make of it.

  5. Janet G. says:

    I went to event in San Diego, and it was AMAZING? Matt is awesome. Jameson was there too. I love their new segment Sexy Potatoes, and I loved Frozen for all the lessons Matt points out. Also Matt, you referred to “Finding Love” as a failure but that’s how I found you, and because of that show, I read your book, went to a live event and hopefully will go to your retreat, and i am applying everything i’ve learned thus far. So in a way, that show did help me find love :)

  6. Laurine says:

    Hallejua!!
    Matthew, I’ve been following you for over a year and while I always relate to all your posts and share them with other ‘single’ girlfriends, I’ll also admit to being a FB person. I’m also of the opinion, my personal life is my personal life.
    This is such a popular topic and I’m often quizzed on it too.
    Thank you for your, as always, spot on and diplomatic repomse! I couldn’t agree more with this!
    Despite the fact I get your message/s and your concept – I wait in anticipation for an Australian date announcement!!
    Great post!
    That is all.
    Laurine from Oz ;)

  7. kikolja says:

    People share their Facebook relationship status to show off their partners as a prize they achieved. They feel proud to have acquired such a “in their eyes beautiful” partner. Yes we are talking about physical beauty again, because the most what the audience can do is to go on the linked person’s profile and judge his pictures, assuming how this person is by his looks and whether he or she is a suit to the friend. Like saying: “Look at my beautiful new Rolex, new car. It’s MINE. So no touching, just looking…”, but the person forgets that a) this glint of jealousy he expects everyone to feel, holds on for a second and then everyone gets on with their own lives (it is old news by tomorrow and you still have this entire lifetime to work on your relationship) and b) yes, it is jealousy you aim to provoke in people by linking the partner and why would you want a dark aura of a negative emotion hover over your relationship? I can assure you probably only your parents (if you decided to befriend them finally) and the two or three of your best friends will approve with full modesty. Everyone else will subconsciously wish the downfall of this newbuilt fortune, and what if thoughts DO materialize?

  8. Jill says:

    Not gonna lie I haven’t listened to it yet but when I do I will leave my comments on your comments BUT I personally think people rush into “changing their status” Who cares what it says on Facebook. I say if you’re married or living together or engaged change it otherwise just be an old fashioned couple, you know the type of couple that existed like 7 years ago before Facebook.

  9. Susanne says:

    <3<33 Dear wonderful LOVELIFE hero Matthew Hussey <3<3<3

    With all my heart I thank you for protecting everybody with your very strong message :) That's truly heroic :)

    May I say:
    I loooooooooooooooove your message :)
    If true LOVE is written in heaven & in Mr.Right & my heart, that's incredibly romantic :)

    I believe our heart is one of the best places to write about true LOVE & Mr/Miss.Right :)

    May everybody enjoy freedom in true LOVE & all the best privacy :)

    LOVE

    Susanne

    • Susanne says:

      I believe our heart is one of the best places to write about true LOVE & Mr/Miss Right : we have endless possibilities to express ourselves & we can enjoy PEACE :)

      I don’t believe there is peace everywhere on this planet. What I know is: if you have true LOVE in your HEART: PEACE is in you :)
      Isn’t it wonderful to write in a peaceful place ? :)
      &
      If it’s possible to keep true ROMANCE deep deep deep in your heart, why make it public? :)
      I looooooooove privacy with all my heart and that’s why I agreeeeeeeeeeee :)
      Feel the ROMANCE & keep it very deep in your heart :) May God know everything and people understand how important privacy is too human beings :)

      This is one of your best videos :) Looooooooooooove it :)

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