How To Make Him Commit (iHeartRadio)

In this week’s episode of LOVELife I answer a question about compliance, the danger of being too comfortable, and raising standards.

Question Of The Day: Where right now is someone keeping you fed, but not making you happy? Let me know in the comments below!

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

14 Responses to How To Make Him Commit (iHeartRadio)

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  1. becky smith says:

    I apologize to anyone who may read this, because I entered the text on my phone and didn’t catch all the misspelled and incorrect words that my smart phone chooses that I didn’t catch.

  2. becky smith says:

    Oops, I accidentally hit the post button, and I apologize that the last of my comment probably made no sense. I had mentioned 2 abusive men, the first I brought 2 boys into this world with. I had a 12 year old son, who I allowed him to make the decision to move away when I became pregnant with my first, otherwise he would’ve slit his throat in his sleep, if he witnessed him putting his hands on me again. After, this man’s mother passing of cancer and 8 months later my father dies of lung cancer, a few more unsuccessful bouts a man came along and stopped me dead in my tracks. He was gorgeous and 10 years younger than me. And I knew better, he had danger written all over him, but something about him had me mesmerized especially after him not listening when I refused to sleep with him. But, sex with this guy was like nothing I’d ever experienced. And nothing else mattered,he was the biggest con artist, and after him getting arrested and I waited faithfully for 6 months for him to return, only to learn I was in way over my head. And for 7 years I would find myself running away from everything good I had going on in my life back to him, only to get beat down farther each time once all the new wore off and reality set in that no way in hell was my mother, or my boss, my boys or any friends of mine who had encountered him would ever approve of my being with this man. The last time I ran off with him I quit my job when I learned there were already calls to the P.D. my mother had placed alerting the authority’s of us being together. We were on the run for almost a month,when the inevitable happened and this time he beat me black abd blue and kicked and punched repeatedly I was told several months later from the woman who witnessed and finally was and to get him to stop this beating that took place in her home. I was dragged by my hair unconscious to his vehicle and only remember waking late the next afternoon. First thing out of his mouth, he said, “God was with you last night” . I left 3 days later once I had the strength to get away and waited for a time I knew he would be paying no attention to anything going on except to what he was preoccupied doing in the bathroom. A month later I moved to Texas with my brother. 2 years passed, and it finally occurred to me how lucky I am to be alive. And, now I find myself trying to find every reason in the world, why this man who us willing to accept be like I am, and I can’t let go off the thought that he’s still messing around behind my back, and refuse to believe he’s changed, and I’m a mess. I’m 47 years old, and I’ve been thru allot. I was diagnosed with ADHD and bipolardisorder 10 years ago. And have a low thyroid disease. I take medication fur all three of these but can’t afford the prescriptions when I need to get refilled but when I have them I take faithfully. The time span that I have had to go without for a few days or about a week at the most, I know can’t be good. For ask that ice been thru I look better than most all the women around my age and some half my age. But, now that I have some security and cab actually relax into a normal life, I just can’t figure it out, and key looking for excuses and now a man I really cared for who was a great friend that at one time I left the psycho, and the time we spent together helped me sort thru allot of my confusion and misconceptions and was able to begin to understand just how sick this menace to society really was and my feelings for him grew stronger stronger and this man measured up to almost every requirement and standard I was looking for in a man. I did say almost. I’ve known him far too long and keep asking more to tell him why did he gone back around and tell me he loves me and that after several years of thinking about it, I am a keeper. And now I know firsr had not to expect anything from this man I don’t think he can’t he’s not willing to ready to commit and never probably will be I just don’t know what to do should I stay or should I go. or should I find me a psychiatrist because I never did get my head checked. please help me figure this out

  3. becky smith says:

    I recently have rekindled a relationship with a man I was with 20 years ago I’m a 47 years old he’s 57 and what’s happening between this time he’s a great man and I’m good woman but 20 years ago he was a player big time and I didn’t know or didn’t want to believe it,until his brother,who I had been best buddies with for years had told me every time I suspected him being in town with his ex wife, etc. And I just never picked up on how he reacted to my suspicions at first but once I realized how I was getting played, I did my own playin, but I kept it in the family. 20 years later I have yet to marry or even have a lasting relationship and allot has happened.I survived 2 very abusive relationshipsits always going to b there I’m afraid I was living in Houston Texas and moved back to a very small town in New Mexico and thought I was making the right decision but now that I’ve been back for 2 months I’m thinking this is not what

  4. Erika says:

    I have been the 3rd wheel in a relationship with a man, whose partner of 20 years, has left him. He told me that he couldn’t wait for Fresh Beginnings with me. And yet, when his ex partner turns up, he totally ignores me. Rarely will he contact me by text or hone call. When he does ring me he calls me darling, says he misses and loves me, and could I just hang in there while he sorts things out. I know they aren’t sleeping together, but if he obviously is still emotionally involved with her, where does that leave me?

  5. Christine says:

    The advice I needed to hear.

    Now to use it.

  6. Jacqueline says:

    Fabulous, fabulous advice!!!

  7. Amy says:

    I’ve had a few weeks-long ‘things’ with guys recently where I either didn’t sleep with them at all, or maybe just at the end because it seemed like maybe it was ‘time’ to see how that was. Afterward I ended up feeling like I had wasted too much time, and even wondered if I should have slept with them sooner to find that out. But I think what I’m learning now, slowly, is how to figure out whether they’re good for me without sleeping together. I’ve read your book and thought about values and standards, and maybe I’ve put too much emphasis in the past on just raw chemistry. I haven’t had much trouble getting plenty of first dates, but I’ve also decided recently to only go out with guys who are willing to make it work on my schedule. I hope I have better results to report back soon :)

  8. karen says:

    I have just this week done exactly this scenario. He’s an amazing man, and we have great fun together, but he’s terrified of being in a real relationship after being hurt, or so he claims, so after 4 months of him going back and forth with the intensity of wanting to be with me, I’ve called a halt to our friendship/relationship. This is going to go in my favour either way. He says he loves me now, but is still too afraid to get involved. I’ve never said I love him only that I love being with him and the fun that we have, but as I could become too involved I think its best for me that we stop seeing each other on a personal level, as I have no intention of giving to a man who doesn’t give the same to me, but we will still be socialising as friends.

    If he really does care for me and changes his views on letting go of his past we may get together again, but in the meantime I have other male friends that can be casual or more if I want, and he is aware of this. If he is happy to lose me then I have not lost anything, and I will be free to see whoever I want and see where that takes me. But if he isn’t, then I think we may spend some very happy times together. Only time will tell if he has been honest with me when he revealed his feelings.

  9. Jenn says:

    Matthew I don’t have any relationship problems but listening to you just made my day gave me energy to carry on :) thank you

  10. Cass says:

    Just recently, I was in the same situation, where I was “being fed” or what I see now in retrospect, settling. I was seeing someone for three months, seeing each other 1-2 times a week, texting, calling, etc. We are both in law school, and extremely busy but we were doing what we could. He wasn’t opening up emotionally and claims that he’s been very hurt in the past and now “draws a line in the sand” for his emotions towards other women. The only reason he even brought any of this up to me is because I wanted to have the “expectations talk”. We hadn’t been intimate because I don’t allow that to happen unless there is exclusivity but if I did and then we had this talk, I would have been even more hurt. I don’t understand. He says he “likes me”, “cares about me”, but he can’t commit to opening up more, emotionally. I don’t think that’s fair so I politely stated my views and left him with my best wishes, that he finds someone that is okay with that situation. We haven’t spoken now for over a week and I am wondering, what now? I won’t deny that I still care and am hoping he sees my maturity and class, as something attractive and something he will miss but if he doesn’t, I don’t want to loose him as a friend either. Help…

  11. Susanne says:

    ★★★:)♥ Peace ♥:)★★★

    May I say:

    ♥ I’m an unconditional fan of Matthew & Stephen Hussey ♥

    ♥ With all my heart I ♥ iHeartRadio ♥ :)

    ♥&♥

    Everything you say & do to LOVE human beings :)

    ♥LOVE♥LIFE♥——–> Matthew & Stephen Hussey :)

    If I could I’d agree endless times to what you said today :)

    What an amazing Thursday evening
    Because Matthew Hussey is here :)
    ♥&♥
    What he said is so so so so lovely & true :)

    Looooooooooooooooove your topic & your life-saving answers :)

    Thankful with all my heart :)

    Enjoy your day wonderful Hussey brothers :)

    Susanne

  12. Isabelle says:

    Great advice, as always! I just wish us European girls could get a radio chat or anything else to ask you questions like that haha :-)

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