“How Do I Know If He’s Attracted?”

So a few weeks ago I put out my first Q&A video in a while.

And people loved it.

It’s always fun getting my hands dirty in women’s real-life dating problems, and I know you’ll get a ton of value when you watch this new blog video.

If you’re always stuck wanting to know what he really thinks, you’ll want to see this…


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19 Responses to “How Do I Know If He’s Attracted?”

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  1. Shasha says:

    I want to sleep with him but this is the first date and I want to date him too because I quite like him and not just for sex. However I don’t want him to think that the only thing I’m interested in is sleeping with him and put him off from wanting to date me and beig interested in me. So should I sleep with him or at least show that I want to or should I not?

  2. Lani says:

    Hi,

    I think this is interesting scenario discussed in the video because it can get really tricky to read people who deliver a service like baristas, sale staff or customer service support.

    I work in customer service for an American company. This being said, I get paid to positive position and be nice to a mostly professional clientele/business people. In my job it should not be a surprise for customers that you are nice and professional.
    Clients feel flattered and sometimes read into some taught behaviour because they are being acknowledged and listened to. I remember a training day where my trainer got a naughty look in his eye and started the presentation with: Here we KISS and have SEX with the customers! (chuckles followed from the group)
    Meanings:
    1. KISS = Keep it short and simple.
    2. SEX = Smile, Eye Contact and the X is short for Excitement.
    I have had men and women invite me to other events and made new friends by using the above 2 mentioned methods. Always keeping things HR appropriate!

    I have found it is safe to assume a person likes/would like to know more about you if they ask for your details or give you some personal details like a number or tell you about a party or social event that they will be attending then TRY and convince you to go. :-D

    Thanks for all the useful dating and life advise in general How to get the guy team! Looking forward to the pearls of wisdom to come in 2017. ;-) #teamworkmakesthedreamwork

    Happy Holidays!

  3. lisbeth traffelet says:

    I love that, Matt, when you omment on real questions…!

  4. Emily says:

    He could be shy, or he could be attracted to her but also in a relationship!

  5. Candy kaiser says:

    Thank you, Matt!!!! This is what I needed to hear, you always know. Love, miss and adore you.

  6. Svetlana Pokorna says:

    Thanks a lot, the words I needed to hear is if he isn’t doing anything that is it. He needs to step up sometimes, that made me realise he is not interested…

  7. Maria Cañadas says:

    I guess he did his best when talking about Christopher reeves he really wanted to know if they have something in common, maybe he is a DC fan, and her answer although cute was probably not what he was looking for… anyways… good luck on that and great video, love those Q&A

  8. Deedee says:

    The whole time I watch you I have the feeling it’s challenging for you to keep a straight face. It’s adorable ;)

  9. Sofia says:

    Hey Matt,

    I’ve been watching your videos for quite a time and it has really improved my interpersonal experience and the way I relate to men. Thanks. All this Q&A sessions remind me of myself talking to my girlfriends, as long as I’ve learnt quite a lot with your videos. However, sometimes I also need an advice.

    So, once you said we have a community here. A community of women who care and interested in social dynamics, right? But.. to become a community there must be support from the members. There must a certainty that our questions can be always answered.

    So I wonder: why there’s still no FORUM for us, girls who fallow you and have already know something about how relationships work?

    X

  10. Melissa says:

    I was kinda thinking maybe “Clark”is gay.

  11. implementation says:

    He does not want to see you at that moment, if he is looking down. Try another time. You don t know how to get his interest. It is not to talk to him

  12. Shade says:

    That was brilliant Matthew! Thank you! :)

  13. Mary says:

    The brilliant thing about this situation is that – it’s her coffee shop. She most likely will be going there every day, or at least several times a week, indefinitely into the future, so, many, many opportunities to do some really subtle flirting and suss out the situation as the days go by. No need to hurry it. See how he responds as time goes by. (And also observe how he interacts with other customers.) Smile, be friendly. Sometimes lean in, figuratively, but never be pushy. More often, lean back, but still be friendly and positive. Build on the “relationship”, as it were, in tiny increments as the days and weeks go by. On Mondays, ask about his weekend. Ask if he went (or is going to) an upcoming (or recent past) fun event or festival in the area. If it’s an event he’s not familiar with, she can even go as far as saying, “it’s awesome – I go every year. You should go…”, etc. And, as time goes by, see if he reciprocates – see if he asks about her weekend. See if he remembers her regular order. There’s no downside. And no rush. If it never progresses beyond friendly conversation, she’s still lost nothing, and perhaps gained a new friend.

    Matthew has a great point about not messing up one’s favorite coffee shop, though. So, best not to push things if this guy doesn’t seem like he wants things to go any further than a barrista-customer relationship. Hence the slow burn.

  14. Julie MacKenzie says:

    I love these question & answer sessions…Keep them coming! ;) Hugs! <3

  15. Lauren says:

    I have first hand experience with this kind of situation. We were both flirting back and forth for a few months every time I was in there, it was clear we were both interested. After advice from a friend, I was bold enough to slide him a note with my name/phone number and it turned out to be one of the greatest things! He said he had been wanting to ask me out but was hesitant because he was at work and didn’t want to come across unprofessional or make me feel uncomfortable about going there. We went on a date 4 days later ;)

  16. Kelly says:

    So right on! It’s hard not to overthink things with someone you find attractive, but for me, if I think about it on the flip where I might’ve just been polite or kind to a man in passing and then I have an overly eager “admirer” on my hands only based on one interaction, it can be rather uncomfortable. Great advice as always, Matthew. Merry Christmas to you and yours!! XO

  17. T-Cat says:

    Yupp, heard it. Sounds like The Exorcist in the background. :’)

  18. Syd says:

    Great video. I thought I had learned a lot, but I keep learning more which is really good :)

    I admire that woman for subtly approaching you at the gym. It is acts of courage and confidence that get is the man we deserve! It is important to not be afraid of rejection.

    I always forget that I look pretty because I told myself when I was 11 that I look ugly when I was facing some bullying at school. Since then, the label had buried itself deep within me. BUT I’m actually not bad looking at all and guys notice me. Once I’m ready to start dating, I can’t wait to be open and to approach any guy I like with courage and confidence. The whole point IS to let the guy know you are interested!!

    It’s a bit hard for me because I don’t see myself settling down here at my town BUT it’s no reason to not meet people. I just have to heal from my annulment and also, a large amount of disappointment from times where I failed at love. The important thing is to learn all the lessons and to make the future that much better. Thanks, Matt & Team

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