Is Passion Overrated?

I shot this a few weeks ago. It’s kind of a rant, it’s kind of fiery, but it’s a topic I’m hot about right now and that I think you’ll get a lot out of.

(For more on my Retreat programs, click here.)

Let me tell you why passion is overrated.

To clarify this: INITIAL passion is what I’m talking about here.

In my professional life I used to find myself interviewing people who were incredibly passionate about a possible job opportunity in my organisation.

The most passionate people of all would say things like, “I’ve always wanted to be a part of something like this” and “I’ll give it my all, I’ll work day and night to make this a success”.

In the beginning I’d think, ‘Wow this person really wants it. I’m going to bring this person on board’.

But the problem was that their passion was UNEARNED.

That person didn’t necessarily even know what the day-to-day of their job would be, and very often when things got tough that same person would come back to me to say, “there’s this other thing I’m really passionate about that I have to pursue. I love working with you, but there’s this thing I really have to go for.”

They’d get passionate about the next thing that came along in the same unearned way.

Passion when it’s unearned tends to be the number one quality of the dabbler.

You see it everywhere. You see people getting crazy exciting about something… and then five minutes later? They’re onto the next shiny thing having realised it’s not ‘perfect’, that it does get hard, and that they’re not going to enjoy every single minute of the day.

I’ve learned to be sceptical of initial passion.

I’ve learned that it’s much easier to find someone who can start something that it is to find someone who can finish something. People who can finish things are a lot more rare.

It takes real passion to be able to finish something; it takes a novelty to start something.

The people who are really passionate about something have a RELATIONSHIP with that thing.

If they’re passionate about a career path, they have a relationship with that career. If they’re passionate about a sport, they have a relationship with that sport. If they’re passionate about that person, they have a relationship with that person.

This is very different from showing interest in something. A relationship has ups and downs, it’s every minute of the day, and it’s something that you suffer for.

Passion comes from the Latin verb ‘pati’, meaning to suffer or endure.

That’s what passion really is. Not doing something for the sake of it or because someone else told you to, but because deep inside you have a relationship with the thing you have to endure.

The number one way women get hurt in relationships is by overvaluing initial passion, instead of valuing investment from a guy.

You know what it’s like when a guy comes up to you to tell you that you’re ‘the most incredible thing on the planet’ and that you’re ‘so beautiful and elegant’ and that he ‘must spend time with you’.

When you feel that, you know it’s unearned. How could he be so excited about you already? You see this and you’re rightly sceptical.

Carry this mentality into all of your interactions.

Start looking out for those rare moments where you find people who really give over the long-term.

When you find something you really want to do, invest in it over the long-term.

###

I’m in Florida having just finished two of my Lifestyle Retreat programs. We’re going to try and get a video recorded out here to show you what it looks like. If you want to find out more about the program in the meantime, check out the main Retreat page here.

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

71 Responses to Is Passion Overrated?

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  1. Diane says:

    Ever since I came across you just 24 hours ago, you’ve changed my thinking about so many things.
    This was a big one. I’m so passionate about my work. I see now though that when things don’t seem to be going right at work, it’s just the part I suffer through because of how much I value my relationship with work. Always knew the ups and downs were due to caring so much, but didn’t see the connection to my passion before.
    Thanks Matt!

  2. Maria says:

    “Passion when it’s unearned tends to be the number one quality of the dabbler.”… brilliant insight!
    I’d never thought of it that way, and as a prior ‘victim’ of (and sucker for) passion, I should get that tattooed! :-)

  3. Meghan says:

    So I was watching this on YouTube and suddenly I realized that I am a dabbler. I have a lot of passion, for a lot of different things, initially and then it quickly fades. There are few things in life that I have genuinely stuck with and continued to be passionate about long term. How do I change my dabbler personality?

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  5. Ingrid says:

    Such a spot-on reflection on the definition of the word passion. The world needs great thinkers – thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. Thank you for challenging ideas and common sense. “Passion” is something I’ve contemplated for years now, and I agree – up and downs are as dynamic as the nature is dynamic: We have winter and summer; We experience periods of sorrow and happiness, in various degrees or levels. If we numb one feeling, we numb all our feelings. And the fear of feeling shitty and down can be overwhelming at times. Maybe it’s a sign of courage to allow oneself to process the bad feelings? Maybe having a ‘passion’ means to challenge ones fears – and maybe that’s why following ones passions can be so fulfilling, because it’s a victory over ones Self.

    Wish u joy and love <3,
    Ingrid

  6. Marion says:

    Oh! I’m in love with this video. I have to heep it in mind for the days I feel low and tired even though I know I’m doing what I like (drawing). Thanks :)

  7. Anjali says:

    I think I’ve had the opposite problem. I tend to get involved with guys when there’s no passion; when it’s easy, and safe, and boring. I want to feel that initial passion everybody talk about.

  8. Joann Reisman says:

    YES; it is overrated. As a newbie indie screenwriter; I watched all the screen writers at a meeting; drop out one by one. I spent blood, sweat, making mistakes and hours to finally make a movie for film festivals. My filmmaker knows this about screenwriters; they expect everyone to do endure and suffer and do all the work for them to make it happen with no to little budget. Passion is when it’s in your heart and nothing will stop you; no matter how hard. My filmmaker watched me never give up; no matter how many obstacles there were. Romantic passion- when someone comes along intensely passionate to soon…be wary. It’s concerning and scary…Why are they so passionate? (That’s about them and it’s not good) Don’t trust it or be charmed by it.
    Absolutely, passion needs to be earned.

  9. Daphne says:

    Although I’ve enjoyed Matthew’s work for some time, I’ve never left a comment before. This video really strikes a chord. There are so many people who are like this in life and relationships. An even darker side of this same idea happens with the tendency of controlling and even abusive people to initially put their objects of desire on a pedestal and shower them with passion. This can be so initially intoxicating, and unfortunately it’s a reality check when the person who seemed to be so passionate and charming starts to be controlling and expect one to live up to the unrealistic “pedestal.” This video is such a great and wise reminder to look carefully past the passionate words for the actions and the character beneath. Matthew offers quiet words filled with depth and wisdom and those who listen will benefit.

  10. Susan says:

    Wow, this is a real eye opener for me. I have fallen into this trap. I think it’s because I’m sort of shy and date men who choose me instead of me choosing them. Therefore, I don’t date often and spend many weekends home. When a man shows a lot of interest, I fall for it. Then I realize I rushed into the relationship and his feelings weren’t genuine, etc, etc. Thanks again, Matthew

  11. Carly says:

    Hi everyone,

    Obviously then passion would only be created by things being worth the ‘endurance’, i.e. high value?

    I was wondering… Is it ever too late to become of value to someone? Such as if you were just seeing them in a physical capacity?

    Any thoughts/opinions on this? Stories/experiences?

    Thanks!

  12. Mel says:

    I applaud everything in this video.

    On the amusing side, if we examine films and stories such as Romeo and Juliet and apply these new principals – it changes the story completely. Our lovestruck couple did not have love at first sight, they worked hard to prove to their families their love and commitment and united the two feuding families and they lived happily ever after! … Yeah, probably won’t sell as good.

    I freak out when a guy I’ve met once texts me once too many times because I haven’t text back, I’m like hold on mate (‘Cause I’m proper Yorkshire like that init) – If a guy I barely knew was professing love, breaking into my house to see me, I’d call the police!

    Despite sounding like a miserable old goat I’m actually a romantic at heart.

  13. Niamh says:

    Please come to Ireland love your videos :-)

  14. Sophie says:

    I would like to request that you make a video on how to get back with an ex smoothly. Without looking desperate and clingy. Thanks Matthew.

  15. Jennifer says:

    I recently experienced initial passion…. there was a lot of sexual chemistry and attraction. After spending the entire day with that person I gave into the “deed” and lived in the moment.
    He continued to call and had made plans to spend time with me the next week. That was over a week ago… and I think you nailed it Matt… initial passio = no bueno. He moved on to the next shiny thing, I over valued the situation. I thought he was great, but then realized that he didn’t call, text, or make plans the second week. That I wasn’t getting anything out of it except emotional baggage from the decision I made. If he was truly amazing and passionate about me then he would be wanting to spend time with me like he did when I first met him.

  16. Mariasmiles says:

    Hey Matthew fans!

    I just found this great pdf http://www.matthewhussey.com/site/files/Confidence_Secrets.pdf written by Matt, and I have to say it’s genius!
    Some of you may already have read it, because it’s old now- but for those of you who haven’t, I really recommend to read it !

    Great job Matthew

    I’m a huge fan of yours :)
    xx Maria

  17. Elaine says:

    Hi Matthew. I have just completed a weeks RETREAT with you in Florida and I’m now reaping the benefits 1000 fold! Had it not been for the retreat experience I probably would have been wounded by your comments! I want to stand up in the middle of a room and declare ‘my name’s Elaine and I’m a serial dabbler!’. It makes so much more sense now that (speaking in career and interest terms) that I was looking for the next shiny thing however, I have given this a bit of thought as there was an initial punch to the pit of my stomach when you said this is the ‘quality’ of the serial dabbler. My CV is like a novel, I have had trouble committing in work as I don’t want to be pigeon holed. I can’t speak for your employee and it sounds like it was a bit of a shitty move but, I’m straight up with my employers that I won’t be hanging around. I can’t really hide from it once they see my CV. When I’m in that job they get my all. I want to earn my stripes as well as my money. I agree, with all your help from THE RETREAT that I have confused passion with enthusiasm and excitement. However, I have only been able to personally recognise the difference because I have reference points where the shiny thing I really really wanted lost its appeal. It is also the overwhelming fear that as you become better at something and potentially more in demand fear of failure or responsibility can also make the serial dabbler look for the nearest exit. I can’t speak about relationships because I have never been in one but… I have more certainty than ever and have nothing but hope and confidence in my future. I love you and my passion for you is inextinguishable (might be a made up word but I like it).
    I’m spreading the good word about you and I urge anyone who knows about Matthew and the benefits he has brought to you…Do Not Keep This Gift For Yourself!! Share Him!!
    Love you.
    X Elaine x

  18. nabila says:

    you’re really getting better in this :) thank you so much :)

  19. Christie says:

    Thank you…I appreciate that you cared enough to give the origin and meaning of word “passion”. I am very “passionate” about the word passion, because my Lord, Jesus Christ, describes the cross as His passion, and I was on His mind.
    God Bless

  20. Jenny says:

    Good point Matt. Great pic of you on the sand btw. Ok, you’ve got to know that I am an undying supporter of you but in this video your face isn’t properly illuminated. There’s shadow….. can you have your lighting technicians fix that? I don’t mean to be nitpicky but I would just like to see your beautiful face is all. XX

  21. Laurine says:

    In short – excellent discussion! Love starting the day having heard and learnt something new. Nice one Matthew!

  22. Kamilla says:

    Thank you Matthew. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Endurance is key. And look for men who want to invest.
    Not just throw passion your way.

    Had a recent bad experience with a guy I thought something could happen with. But as it turned out he was only interested in one thing..and the whole thing turned ugly. But Im happy now that I saw that other side of his. Now I can forget about him and move on to better things.

    Allthough In this time of life I think Im not ready yet for a relationship, nor have the time and energy for it. I got to fix some other aspects of my life first. So Im more into these casual things. But the problem arises when I develop feelings for these “one-night-men”. I am at the core a relationship person and I value quality over quantity. But I got out of my first relationship (of six years) in april (yes its been some time now) and Im not ready to start a new one. Not yet. I do invest so much into it… It allmost absorbs me whole.
    But Im optimistic. Right now Ill just try to have some fun. Im going to Paris this week! :D Wish me luck!

    All the very best to you! Thank you for your inspiration! And what a cool photo of yours!! :)

  23. Betty Toledo says:

    Very true, now that I have learn from your Get the Guy my husband of 20 years said to me “this is the hardest I have ever worked for our relationship” and then smiled. He said, having to work harder for you makes me want you more! I just smiled! Matthew you need to have a couples retreat! We would come!

  24. Cathy says:

    Enduring investment as the source of real passion — I love it! This gives the chance for two people to really get fulfillment out of the relationship journey together.

  25. Jill says:

    Oh almost forgot, I personally wanted to work with you because I feel we have similar ideas when it comes to coaching others on their dating lives and just being confident in day to day life. I’ve always had a knack for drawing people to me and gaining their trust quickly. You know, my life is pretty darn great and I love who I’ve become.

  26. Jill says:

    It’s very easy to get passion and just plain excitement confused. If you think about in the beginning of a relationship it’s brand new and insanely exciting but when you get to the point that even the everyday part of the relationship still excites you you know it’s passion.
    It stinks you had to go through that but unfortunately that’s part of owning any type of business. Have you ever thought about doing some kind of trial run to see if you find the qualities you are looking for in a employee? If someone is really passionate about working with you and being part of what you offer just filling your tea would be bearable besides we all have to start somewhere. Anyhoo, just a thought.

  27. Adele says:

    “It’s much harder to find someone who finishes things” – so insightful, so true

  28. Lisa says:

    I completely agree with this! Funny thing is I realized a while ago in most of life people who were this excited / this worked up about something rarely stuck thru to the end. But I did not put this link together when it came to men. Thank you for this video
    p.s. I have watched many videos but this is the first time I commented truly appreciate this

  29. hajer kamil says:

    mathew you are someone who i really want to meet !
    i just love your videos and enjoy them !
    but my only request for you is to differ in subjects a little bit I want you to talk about live, dreaming, how to trust people,anything more than just guys even though that men what you are specialest at >>> and thaaaaaanks a lot :) love yaa !

  30. J says:

    This makes so much sense – I did not even realise I was subjecting myself to this sort of thing.

  31. Phathiswa says:

    Thank you so much Matthew! Sadly I’m so addicted to initial passion that my scepticism is near absent when I’m initially wildly taken in by a guy. But no more – investment and endurance is what I’ll reward.

  32. Ieln says:

    I’m very passionate about this video.

  33. Sarah says:

    I have dated guys that I thought were great and I really wanted to give them a chance so I went on several dates with them, but I felt NO chemistry and seemed like no potential for chemistry. Eventually, I would have to call it off because I didn’t want to lead the guys on. Other guys who were total douche bags I had chemistry with but had to end for obvious reasons. Should I have waited longer for the no chemistry guys? Is it reasonable to ask for both? Is chemistry different from passion?

  34. Mary says:

    Thank you so much for posting this. This is exactly what happened in my last relationship with a dabbler who threw unearned passion my way, and his passion fizzled in just a few months. He wasn’t interested in making the investment in our relationship. I knew his initial massive passion wasn’t right, but I went with it, and sure enough, my gut knew better than my heart. Lesson hopefully learned….

    • Kathleen says:

      Hey Matthew,
      Great video today!!! sometimes I wish I would have known of you sooner then later, perhaps I wouldn’t be questioning myself why I even fell for a guy like my EX, I don’t question the finally having ENOUGH and ending things once and for all.
      In the beginning it was “normal” he showed interest, of what nature I am still unsure of, then came the “oh my god you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I’m so glad I met you BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.” I had done nothing grand that would warrant such words and “actions” <>
      Anyhow as quickly as he was passionate about me it was gone like a flash and he found someone new…Shit, he was with her before I even got my walking papers…Thank-you, your services are no longer needed…his new passion waned quickly as it had done for me. He did try to come back, but he’s just not good and in truth I don’t trust nor respect him.
      What causes a person to be like this??? is it their upbringing??? is it part of some validation seeking of some kind???

      I am the CEO of my life and I shall demote, promote and, terminate those who deserve it most…

      Thank you for the video!!! you are most appreciated!!!

  35. Pam says:

    Thank you so much for valuing the passionate, the long term people who do the right thing, who put blood, sweat and tears into their passions, win or lose and who don’t just do it because it feels good at the time.

  36. Jey says:

    Great video, Matthew. I have a huge problem and I hope you can help me solve it. I’m almost 18 years old and never had a boyfirend, but It’s not the main problem. Anyway, whenever a boy gets interested in me or I like somebody, my best friend starts flirting with him, and, in the end, he starts having crush on her. It’s really annoying. I feel devastated. Looking forward hearing from you. Have a lovely day!
    -J

    • Tj says:

      This person clearly *isn’t* your best friend. Any guy that shows interest in you and leaves with her, clearly isn’t the kind of guy you’re looking for. Thank these idiots for revealing their true selves to you and start finding new friends and new places to hang out. Join activity clubs, start short courses, get on the path to improving yourself and being the best you can be. The rest will happen (i.e. you will attract friends and love interests that are interested in who you are instead of just in using you for the short term). Best of luck.

    • Rivka says:

      Since you’re almost 18, I’m guessing you’re going to go to college pretty soon. Quite likely your friend will go to a different college. Even if she goes to the same one, it will be so huge, that you two will not always be moving in the same circles. In other words, pretty soon your problem will no longer be an issue.

  37. Rachel says:

    What a great video and it came right on time for me! Your commitment to give us every week videos with so much valuable content is what shows real passion.
    Thank you Matt!

  38. Maya says:

    Haha Matty, I work in HR so this kinda rings my bells. Deffo should apply in relationships too. Thanks for ur great work.

  39. Randa says:

    This is CRAZY, my blog post for tomorrow goes on the same line, only I’m focusing more on the job hunting aspect rather than the relationship one (here in Spain given the ‘wonderful’ job market we’ve been having lately seems it’s a theme that my readers have been liking lately!)
    Anyways, back to you, couldn’t agree more. I remember myself falling into the vortex of initial passion when looking for internships where I’d actually be that person you describe at the very beginning of you video. Two months later into the internships, I get a smack from real life ‘in da face!’ and realise it was not at all what I wanted. After tripping on the same rock two times I said enough and decided to truely go for what I truely loved (Interpersonal Communication). Was/is it an easy ride? Heck no! But that’s the beauty of it. Just like relationships, true loving ones I mean ;) They have their ups and their downs but the overall picture is deffinetly worth keeping!
    Which reminds me of another quote by Khalil Gibrane regarding the unchained unity between reason and passion
    :
    “For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction [a.k.a. Initial passion!].
    Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion, that it may sing;
    And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.”

    Once more great video, great blog post and I wish you the best on your retreat!
    Kindest regards,
    Randa

  40. Ana (Mexico) says:

    I am just so glad I got to be a part of this adventure… And got to experience the PASSION you pour into it.

    I agree, thanks for the video and much love to you and all the team!

  41. A says:

    Cheerio, Uncle Matty. I like ur blurb. We have to stop idealizing about many bad rom-com movies version of “passion”.

  42. Ruxa says:

    Thank you, Matthew! Thank you for your time, advice, commitment, help, support! I appreciate it a lot! :)

  43. Christine says:

    I really love and appreciate this video, Matt!! Thank you!! I have always been skeptical of guys that act like that from the beginning, and they usually ended up being jerks. Or dumped me for another girl. I love passion in a guy but it has to take time to be developed. Your advice has helped me in so many ways. I’m definitely sharing this video with my friends!! :)

  44. Rivka says:

    I was just thinking about how much more I love my male best-friend now, then I did years back when I initially had a huge crush (in love, actually) with him. I was thinking about how much more true and better my friendship is with him now, after several years.
    And now your post is here, as if to confirm my thoughts on the subject.
    Thanks, Matt

  45. Lee says:

    This is very true. Everytime I meet a guy they are full of compliments which I never take seriously. Currently there is a guy in my life who says he works really hard and is so busy but that he wants to try and make time for me. He throws me crumbs to get me excited and tempt me into sticking around until he finds time, but I’ve now faced the fact that he simply doesn’t want to invest in pursuing me; he calls but then disappears for a while and then reappears. We finally met up last weekend but Ive not heard from him since so I guess that’s that lol. I’m fed up of him taking me for granted so I’m now gladly moving on. I don’t need guys in my life who don’t back up their chat – their so called passion about how ‘amazing’ I am always proves empty and meaningless without solid evidence (actual actions that indicate their genuine admiration and interest in me) of their ‘passionate’ comments/attitude. I don’t usually post comments but thus video was just feeling too close to home tonight; it just reinforced my belief that I deserve a guy who genuinely deserve a great guy who genuinely wants to invest me and sticking around waiting for guys who refuse to invest in me in simply tantamount to me saying I’m not worth a guy’s time and I’ll settle for less. Er, no, that’s not me. I am a high value woman and I choose my own validation of myself over than a man who refuses to acknowledge my worth!

    Thanks for the video, Matthew, loved the book and look forward to seeing you in London next Saturday!

    Xx

  46. Cooper says:

    I do believe intially passion can be overrated especially guys that hover over you because they do have an agenda. Which I tended to avoid.

    I have commented because I think your videos are very inspiring for women. I think personally you have helped me gain a confidence that I truly did not think I ever have. Your videos really put everything into a clear perspective. The videos Matthew posted made me realize why I may have been single and what signals I may have been putting out and what guys I was attracting. So I took some of Matthew’s advice and tested it out without thinking “oh I should try this and that and see what happens”. I did it naturally and there was this one night I met this outstanding guy that I am now in a relationship with. He meets every need that I deserve and I hope I do the same for him.
    I am not posting this because I think Matthew Hussey should take full credit for meeting the right guy but I can say taking Hussey’s advice in account just like friends and family does help just to consider it with an open mind.

    I want to thank Matthew Hussey for his words of advice and reminding me that there are nice guys out there but I needed to be patient and set standards.

    Yes, it’s corny and unlikely for most women but this is my thank you note.

  47. Anna says:

    I love this video, it was very necessary. I think it’s something we mostly know deep down, but now u put words to it and it makes perfect sense. Thanks Matthew

  48. Katie says:

    I make time to watch your great videos. That’s passion. Take care!

  49. rose says:

    Totally Agree. Passion cannot not last without true commitment to that passion.
    Love the picture on the beach. What a great time on the Retreat. Can’t believe I have been home over a week now.
    Love Rose

  50. Maliha says:

    Wow this video could not come at a better time!

    I totally agree about the short term excitement am currently a point where I am truly trying to figure out my PASSION in career. Something I won’t get sick of a year later..I have in the past committed to jobs for a good amount of time 2-4 years but there comes a point of Dead end!

    How do you prevent this dead end?

    I understand you need to endure investment but at which point do you figure out that it’s not worth investing in?

    In relationships it’s easier to figure that out because its a two way street and if the other person is not pulling their weight .. You can move on because your needs are not being met –

    But it’s much more difficult in a career when so many factors are involved.

    Wished there was a method :$

    P.s- you look great Matt! Thanks for the continued effort :)

  51. Kim McMaster says:

    Amazing content Matt!
    Thank you!!!

  52. Viola says:

    Thank you for another lesson, Matthew! It seems you can develop thoughts on anything. Can you enlighten us about patience and endurance in relationships as well? How to become perfect. . . ‘almost’ perfect rather.

    • Viola says:

      I mean, you love the guy but he suffers from emotional illness or something like that. To leave is the option, I know, but do we always have to run from a problem? I do believe, it’s possible to heal the person, but oh how much power that requires to accomplish, inhuman power.

  53. Mir says:

    Hi Matt,
    Very nice post. But what if you are on the other side? What if you are the one yourself who is always really passionate about new things, be it new jobs or new hobbies or new people? How do you hold back on that to make sure it is really this one job you want to commit to, or hobby, or person? I feel like I am doing that, and I feel I’m pushing away new people with too much initial passion, and seems like I might be putting of potential employers with it, too, if they see it the same way you do. Any advice on how to change?
    Mir

    • Tj says:

      Invest some time and effort into figuring out how much time and effort the project is actually going to take and be honest with yourself about whether you have it in you to invest that over the long term. Being overly excited about something you’ve never tried generally displays a complete lack of in depth understanding, both about the subject and the amount of time, work and emotional investment it will require in the long term.
      Best of luck.

  54. Jo says:

    Wow Matt, this one really struck a chord with me both in terms of relationships and life goals but also about who I am as a person.

    There are things that I am extremely passionate about and you’re right, my true passions such as painting, aren’t always a pleasure. When I paint, I feel compelled to do it but it’s hard work and sometimes exceptionally frustrating but I can’t give it up, no matter what. It’s a big part of who I am and I can’t begin to describe the pride and satisfaction I feel once my work is complete.

    I have lost my way somewhat over the last few weeks and months, not knowing where I am at this stage in my life with aspirations and relationships but this video has helped put a few things into perspective for me so a massive thank you. You’re truly inspirational.

    Take care

    Jo x

  55. Mari says:

    Great piece. Thank you. Fits perfectly with what I’m thinkin about right now. Like how you make these relevant to love AND life. Your arms were completely distracting from what you were saying, but You Go, Matt!! <3 "Being passionate about something means having a relationship." Great stuff.

  56. Iman says:

    “Don’t value initial passion, value enduring investment.”

    Great advice Matt, keep em coming.

  57. Dana Harris says:

    Preach it, Matthew!!!

  58. Plamena says:

    Hey Matthew, thank you for sharing this! Very interesting indeed! I love to see your smile:) xx

    Regards,
    Plamena

  59. Rumors says:

    I have never trusted the initial passion in man so I couldn´t agree more.

    Passion is great but people thing is just about beeing in a nice mood every minute when it´s not like that. Passion is sacriface too, as you have said.

  60. A says:

    Good morning, Matt!

    Yes, this is something I’ve heard you mention many times but I wish I had more clarity on it. I do think initial passion can burn itself out. But I don’t necessarily think it’s because the person is flaky or just likes to be passionate about many things and hops around indiscriminately. It’s just it takes time to really know a person or a job or an interest to really know if you WANT to suffer for it. It’s not something you can know on Day 1 or Day 15 or Day 45. So for that early time, all you’ve got is that initial spark until you do know. I think it’s wise to not ignore passion and yet to expect it to peter out until you find the people, jobs, interests, etc that are right for you.

    What do you do until then, though? Until you know? That’s the thing. Say it’s a guy. You’ve got initial passion. You don’t know if he’s worth it for the long-term, but for now you’ve got to manage that passion. Only thing to do is not commit too soon. Like many jobs have a three-month probationary period. Not a bad idea.

    Lastly, I think you have to have initial passion. Some spark. It doesn’t have to be over the top, but some spark has to be there. So we shouldn’t overrate it as the end all and be all, but we shouldn’t underrate it, either. The thing is? I’ll speak for myself. Sometimes it feels like I’m not passionate about many things much anymore. So when I do feel it, it’s so exciting and so unmistakable and so . . . real. It’s a real feeling that’s better than feeling absolutely nothing. That’s why we love it. :-)

    Through your programs I’m learning to still be passionate but to link it to investment. What am I getting back from the thing or person? When they invest in me, I let myself feel more passionate about them. It’s a hard thing to learn because it takes more time and is a bit more murky because you actually have to . . . wait and see how things play out.

    So yeah, passion is great and I think there is nothing wrong with going with it, as long as you can keep some perspective and ask yourself: is the thing I’m passionate about investing and giving back to me?

    That’s what I’ve learned to ask. Difficult, but I’m practicing it. :-) Thanks, Matt.

    -A

  61. Allison nelson says:

    Very insightful information!
    excellent perspective on investment…
    I really love this one.
    Sharing it with my precious teen girl

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