Why Love Advice Doesn’t Work For You… Yet

The average woman who reads dating advice (yep, even mine, sadly), will never make it work. Why?

Because this kind of woman doesn’t have a system to make herself feel in an attractive mindset when the right guy does come along.

In this video, I’ll show you what really makes you attractive in the long term, and how you can learn this system to bring out your best self whenever you need to when dating…


►►  Let’s Create Your Best Life, Together → MatthewHusseyRetreat.com

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

35 Responses to Why Love Advice Doesn’t Work For You… Yet

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  1. Heidi Pazera says:

    Adding on to my previous message… how sppn shoild I tell about the Disability and being on Disability)

  2. Heidi Pazera says:

    I like your analogy of the outdated computer.
    My issue is what about if I have a Neurological Movement Disorder (Dystonia) that contorts (spasms) different levels of my body in unpredictable ways and, severity, and duration. Not just that I am very self-conscious about when they sre bad, and even painful, but the medical lifesdtyle I have to face and accommodate to however it is at the time. I also have a growing list oc allergies to fopds, drugs, and plantlife. I HAVE tp be picky at restaurants. I also cope woth Bipolar, PTSD, ADHD, OCD, and a bit of Borderline Peronality Disorder (communication and connecting). I do see a Counselor amd Psychiatrist consistently. I do take the meds I need consistently (yes I did gp pff pf them to start pver and wowww I could tell how much they hel!) And going on my 4th roud of Botox for the Cervical Dystonia amd Blepharospasms, which is only an adjustable bandaid according to jiurnaling from past 90 days h9w everythig avted and reacted, never consistent either!), and very restricted on exercizes and xxxpositions because of spine,neck, and shoulder affected from damage and nerve damage. Also deeloped a cervical “Pannus” that is a very delicate situation. I don’t feel “dateable”- because who would want to accept it amd be compassionate to want me with all this “baggage” plus that I am on Disability beause of all of the above… so I cannot afford to do a lot of things that most wworking people would do. I don’t live in a city and when the DMV cancels my license per the Dystonia at the time of the Medical Forms updatwd by the Doctors and Specialist. So far in the past 3 years at one point or another, I couldn’t drive. Could only rely on my niece amd one neighbor to drive me, and has to go bu theor schedule, especially to set up appointments… and no time to play. I like to talk to people amd no problem with playing on the floor kids of all ages.
    I DO have a big sense of humor. Improv is in my blood, as is drawing portraits, but a big block because of all this,
    All I can offer is my humor and compassion, and I am a passionate person.
    I don’t know whether I shiuld keep looking or wait, hoping they can FIX the “tics”?

  3. melisa says:

    bikoz you never not esk vryly wat you laeik als yuo esk mi

  4. Mary says:

    I am in a relationship with a man I care about deeply but I am not feeling like he feels the same way. It feels like I’m an option instead of a priority! Should I move on or what should I do to communicate to him how I feel like I am not important or valuable to him.

    • MH Support says:

      Hi Mary! Based on what you shared, I’d encourage you to check out Matthew’s foundation coaching product that teaches women the techniques to find, attract, and keep the man they want. The program (4 hours of video seminar footage) outlines strategies to understand men, minimize rejection, and become the high-value woman men want to fall in love with: http://www.howtogettheguy.com/vsl/index.php. Best of luck! – Mars

  5. Corinna says:

    So insightful and spot on, as always. Love it. :)

  6. Marie says:

    I get conflicting messages from your videos. I want to reach out to a guy I like, to say hi how’s your week, etc. But on other videos you say not to contact a guy who doesn’t give you much investment.he always responds when I text to say hello. But I don’t do it very often, in order to give him time to initiate. My true self is to be outgoing but I hold back because dating advice has said to do it. Help, I’m so confused!

  7. Melanie Kelly says:

    Hey there,, Frist I just like say I think you are amazing.. I recently found you on Facebook and love watching your vids.. you are so charismatic chaming and funny I’m not entirely shore how any worm blooded woman could leave your seminar and find a man after spending three or more hours in your company or even general proximity.. ok ok enough with the flattery..
    What I find the most interesting is you started out helping men with there dating dilemmas,, then noticing the common issues they where having with women(the mistake women make that just kill attraction).. OMG the Holli grail was handed to you.. You could truly help women here what an opportunity!! What I love about this,, is men win as well.. what man doesn’t want the perfect women.. after every seminar and retreat of 500 or more ladies their are an equal amount of men lucky enough to date one of them.. A woman whocan flirt and be sexy but knows her worth,, can express her standards kindly,, she can help him feel comfortable and secure in is vulnerability.. Come on that’s Kinder cool..
    Love your work.

  8. Shannea says:

    Great advice, love your book and videos. Would love a video on how to set boundaries on the first date. Specifically, guys expecting a kiss on the first date is a recurring problem – stating not comfortable or playfully saying not earned yet gets awkward responses, statements like “what are we, 16?” and anger. I’ve even physically turned perpendicular, given a quick side hug with face turned away, and said goodbye, and the guy will still lean in for a kiss. Meeting someone online for a first date feels more like a friend meet up – you don’t even know if you have chemistry yet. Why this expectation of a kiss and terrible response when not given?

  9. Deanna says:

    Love It. I cant’ wait for people to stop calling you a dating coach because you truly are an inspirational life coach! One day I hope to be able to afford your retreat program. Please hold on in the Northwest U.S!! We need you. Have an amazing rest of the week :)

  10. Jgirl says:

    Microattraction, that is to say, being generous, thoughtul, doing for others, as so on, makes you a nice person. Should it be called love advice, or simply how to be a decent human being? I’ve been called a nice girl, and I agree that this stems from a lot of internal work, but all my acts of microattraction will only make me a better friend because all the men around me are gay. It’s the ultimate no risk environment because I can be caring, attentive, and nurturing as much as I want without anyone suspecting or expecting more than friendship.

  11. Becky says:

    Thank you for posting this, if been struggling with getting back on track. It’s not always easy to luv yourself but it helps to know other people have the same problem.

  12. Jennifer says:

    Thank you so much for posting this video. It’s exactly what I needed to hear. I try to live my life this way; building my character by taking care of myself, creating inner peace, which enables acts of kindness to come naturally. An added bonus is it creates attraction. I recently went on hiatus & needed to be reminded of this. I’d like to blame it on the time of year, but the truth is, I just got lazy. Thank you so very much for your guidance. It really is genius & so true! I feel I’m really to get back to where I once was. I missed feeling inner peace. I have some obstacles in my personal life, so it is sometimes challenging. Thank you for aknowledging that it takes work. I think often times people, including myself, get discouraged because no matter how hard they try, things don’t seem to go their way. I found when I take the time to give myself the highest percentage I can, (I can’t give 100% to myself because I’m a Mom), I am better off for it. I literally can feel myself shine.

  13. Leecis Perry says:

    Thank you for sharing. I myself got side tracked for a few months myself. Started with the flu. I had been berating myself for backsliding on my emotional growth.
    Now with your insightful video post, can forgive myself and move forward! Your such a great coach!
    Leecis

  14. Lou says:

    Lol. It would not take 60 seconds to call my mum! I have never had a phone conversation that hasn’t lasted at least 5mins and usually more like 10!!! :) it takes a bout 2mins just to say goodbye!!! We are both talkers! Lol.

  15. monica says:

    This was SO insightful and true. I have felt that way so many times. When I’m in a good state ( mentally, physically, emotionally ) – I am MY BEST SELF.

    When I’m not in a good state – those parts of my personality go away. It’s like the light goes out. SO true! And working on myself and taking care of myself and what’s important to me – turns the light back on :)

    Thank you, Matthew. You speak very eloquently and you put a lot of love into what you do. Namaste :)

  16. LoneWolf says:

    I’m probaly really inexperienced with all this stuff figured I should start learning early. But I have a question thats pretty personal. How do you create these thing or even just become self confident when you suffer from depression? How do you even move past that to become your best self. A lot of this stuff works for those that are ready not for those who are already in the self hatred and dark places.

  17. Ariana says:

    Matt, over the years, you have made so many insightful videos but what you have put here it is really something else!! It condensed so many years of evolved wisdom and I’m really grateful you did it! Nobody else could have put it this way, ever.
    The day I meet you in Seattle you spoke for so many hours and still had the energy to threat anyone with deep and sincere appreciation. When, at the end of the seminar, I told you how happy I was in my relationship, thanks to your advice, you hugged me so gratefully and it felt so GENUINE!! To this day, that memory makes me so happy! Like you said, being on that state is not easy it does take hard work. But if we are not able to do this for ourselves the world is gonna miss us and thats something we can’t afford doing it to ourselves or to the people we love.
    I really wish I can make it to your retreat one day. Until then, you really need to know how much of an positive impact you had in my life just by being yourself and I really wish the world always gives back to you the love you give away so generously.
    And by the way, I’m really happy for you and Camila and hoping it is true. She is an amazing person and so talented!! . I really hope you both have a great future together!!

  18. Madalina says:

    You are simply amazing and you have helped me to improve my life in many beautiful ways. I don’t believe in mentors, but if I did, you’d be the one. ‘Till then, you’re a great source of inspiration and you add value and give answers to many questions that have followed me over the years.
    Thank you! Never stop doing this, cause you’re awesome! :)

  19. V says:

    Sometimes I can’t believe you manage to think so competently about these things. Thanks for the work you put into perceiving and articulating the causal relationships in our lives.

  20. Terri-lynn Hickox says:

    Nothing I do is working lately he is pushing me away again I know I love him and trust him but I don’t know what I’m doing to make him push away I can’t even think straight right now wish I could actually talk to u on phone

  21. Laurie says:

    Very wise points, Matt. Great analogy of the Operating System, and wonderful reminder that the foundation of outward behaviour is the inner work we do for ourselves.

    This video is so timely for me. I’ve been feeling like I’m just going through the motions for months now, and your video shines a light for me, that I haven’t been focusing on my routine, self care, and core confidence as much as I should be. Thank you for the reminder of what I need to do to update my “operating system.” Love this!

  22. Nelida says:

    Absolutely!
    I was nodding while listening to your words, Matt – thanks for reconfirming.
    I’m in reconstruction myself, and it feels so good.
    I’m now back to being on time with my projects, which gives me time to take care for myself.
    I remember again how binging of any kind leads to an out of control, out of character life.
    Yes, I’m smiling – my character is being building :)

  23. Nanaz says:

    I left my bf in August, We had contacts till January. I didnt send him an angry message or anything else since january. He texted me a few times, asked her mom to contact me, and a few days ago when he was back from a one month holiday he came to the stop where i get off after work, we talked, i regret that! Am so angry at myself for doing that. He didnt listen to ke when i needed. Due to my visa we have to be somehow in contact for at least 7-8 months. And some of my stuff is still at his place. He again wants to meet to talk more. What to do if he comes again to the train stop or to my work?
    I think i was in an abusive relation. I have been in confusion for most of the time when in the relation and after breaking up, of whether he loved me or not. I can’t forgive myself to be with that guy. He told me so many lies.can u pls tell What to tell to hurt a guy? For real! Some ppl deserve that! I wish there was a court for emotional abuse.

  24. Vicki says:

    Microattraction is why people who work in service industries and have developed good customer service are always getting asked out. They have better personal interactions, they are generous and service oriented and polite. (If they weren’t they would get fired.)

  25. Lorraine says:

    What a truly empowering piece of video and I am indeed happy for you that you have the ability and self awareness to get your life back on track when the wheels come off. I wish everyone did -why do we not teach this stuff in schools??? I think your comment above re:dating advice and having the right mindset applies equally to men and women. Lovely way to start a Sunday!

  26. AJ says:

    I just have to say Wow!!! It’s amazing that whenever I struggle with something or see a pattern around me that I don’t understand or is confusing to me, I get a video like this!!! And there is the light bulb! Thank you Matthew so much for shining light on this so very important truth! You are truly an effective teacher, who is not afraid to share his hiccups, implements the process and embodies the solution. Beautiful!!!:)

  27. Shauna says:

    Wow, thanks Matt, this one really hit home for me. I’ve been feeling really flat for a few months now but have still been able to pull out positive interactions when the need arises, otherwise, however, I’ve been unable to sustain this feeling and stay out of my own head. My confidence has dwindled to a level I’ve not experienced before and it has certainly stopped me from being able to give back in any of my relationships. It wasn’t until I watched this week’s video that it clicked into place for me. Thank you, now I have a game plan.

  28. Shauna MacDonald says:

    Wow, thanks Matt, this one really hit home for me. I’ve been feeling really flat for a few months now but have still been able to pull out positive interactions when the need arises, otherwise, however, I’ve been unable to sustain this feeling and stay out of my own head. My confidence has dwindled to a level I’ve not experienced before and it has certainly stopped me from being able to give back in any of my relationships. It wasn’t until I watched this week’s video that it clicked into place for me. Thank you, now I have a game plan.

  29. E says:

    Liked the video Matt!

    When can we see that TV programme you were filming?

    Will it be available to view online, or on Sky?

    Would love to see it!

  30. Heather says:

    Great message in this video. It really is about loving and taking care of yourself so there is a good foundation there for someone else to love.

  31. Nathalie says:

    i simply just love you, matthew. this video has the truest message i’ve heard this week. i feel so much more in control of all my relationships now because i can focus more in the moment, when i‘m interacting with friends, lovers, co-workers, family and strangers, i‘m actualy there and want to bring the best out of me (simply just to feel even better). and all of that is just possible now that i‘m in peace with myself, i know where i want to go, i got rid of bagage that was keeping me behind, i‘m so happy for all i have and so excited for all there is to come. i want to grab every challange that will let me grow and i feel there is little to be scared about. one needs to find excitement in life, feel all the depths there are, the sad and the beautiful parts. live life the fullest, be there. be courious, have compassion, let go, enjoy yourself, breath. all the rest will come automatically. so much love for all your honesty and unbelivable amount of kindness you show by giving so much wisdom for free to the world. following you for two years now and it had from time to time a BIG inpact on my life. i will never be able to show you my entire appreciation so for now just this: so damn much love to you and your team! you’re important!! xx

  32. Ana says:

    I appreciate all the work you, Matthew, and your team are putting in action. Every video is genuine, new, conveys important ideas and is really helpful for everyone who is aware of how important internal structure is. Your videos have huge impact on my life. Thank you all, so much! ^_^

  33. Dehyreded says:

    I ordered get him running back. . Well. He ran. . Yep. Right to his new girlfriens home,moved in with her. YEP!!! He sold hois house. Sent me the nastyist text then changed his. Phone number.
    IT killed me and what’s worst . She.ouves. / he they live 2 blocks away ..Omg . I. GUNNA die .

  34. Janice says:

    Loved this video.
    I agree, when I’m in a good mood, happy, have that little zip in my step things are easier. But working 2 jobs, taking care of my house, my yard and my other responsibilities I’m finding I don’t have the energy for a relationship. Or maybe I just haven’t found the person that brings me energy. Still lookin and thank you. You give me a lot of positive thoughts. Take care

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