My #1 Tip For Every Date You Ever Go On

Do you get panicked before a date?

Do you fear you might run out of things to talk about?

Nervous but excited, hopeful but unsure, optimistic but queasy… Going on dates can be scary.

But what if you never had to have these feelings ever again?

Today I’m going to share with you my “long­-term” approach to always be ready, and to show up in a calm and easygoing state, ready to have fun.

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34 Responses to My #1 Tip For Every Date You Ever Go On

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  1. S says:

    Please anyone tell me what you think of this…..? I recently went on a blind date. Didn’t meet up again. Think his head was filled with too much info about me from my well meaning friend, who was desperate to get us together. She thought we would be ideal for one another. He mentioned some things to me that she’d told him about me and he seemed disappointed that in reality, or from his point of view, I wasn’t as she’d painted me and she also showed him photos and he said I looked different to them. So she had put me up on a pedalstool perhaps unintentionally.
    We had planned to meet half way in a lively town for dinner and to see some live music but I got a puncture on the way and rang him to ask if we could reconvene our date but he insisted coming 30 miles my way to go on our date. It wasn’t a very good date in retrospect. I felt each time we had a nice chat about something that he quickly steered the conversation on to something else. Always going off on a tangent so I was left unfulfilled by the conversation. I am quite relaxed generally and my nerves went as soon as we’d spent the first 10 minutes or so together. But he seemed edgy all night and unrelaxed despite my attempts to make jokes and have fun with him.
    I felt during the evening that a second date with him would be good so as to get a true opinion, get to know more about him as he was a decent guy and very nice just, perhaps nervous on our blind date. He works alone every day and I’ve been in the public eye all my life so I’m comfortable having conversations with anyone about anything. He was erratic really.
    We are both middle aged. He attempted three times to kiss me, on the lips too. I love kissing but I feel I want to be swept of my feet and feel some real emotion for someone before we start kissing. A build up would’ve been much sexier for me. Left me wanting more maybe. But still I felt it was inappropriate or that he was desperate. Not understanding that it wasn’t essential to keep trying it on but actually a turn off.
    We arranged to meet the very next Friday, which I’d already deduced that his life was very regulated and so it was always only likely to be a Friday evening. We both seemed happy to be meeting again.
    Two days later he left me a garbled, nervy babbling excuse to cancel the date. He then told my friend I hadn’t contacted him which was untrue as I’d left a few polite messages and texts.
    Does anyone think this man is immature and inexperienced or is he just after one thing? At 51 I’d like to think he had a bit more integrity.

    • Annuarita says:

      Sweetie, its already a bad beginning. Let it go.
      Hope the best for you. Dont forget to improve yourself everyday inside and out, youll meet more mature men.

      xx

    • juliana says:

      I agree, perhaps it seems like he was driven or after something. Easier to see from a distance. His listening and conversations skills weren’t demonstrated on your date. Sometimes starting as friends, switching gears at the beginning, but unless there is interest for this on both sides, its not likely to happen. I think people jump in too quickly. Matt’s advise is great, just get into dating and relax with it so you are satisfied socially and cultivate yourself, and inevitably, the clicking/chemistry will happen when both parties are in the right place/time.

  2. Petra says:

    I put some of Matt’s advice together and already did that long term approach. First of all you gotta start with meeting guys regularly, so that you get used to dating. But don’t wait for ideal! You won’t find one. So I started to go on dates, some of them very neutral, some great, some awful! The point is that I got used to meet guys, so when the guy I really like comes into my life, I won’t be too pushy or nervous! It is simple trick that really works girls. Stop to be too fussy about dates. First my main source of dates was speed dating, that’s really good to gain some practice and later since I got more relaxed, guys started to approach me on street, at events etc. So now I have entire pool of guys and keep dating without being actually nervous. Start with that and then you can take it from there ;).

  3. Theresa Hurst says:

    Hi Anya, were you thinking of dinner or drinks? There is a lovely tapas restaurant on The Cut at Waterloo called Meson Don Felipe which I love. A fabulous bar (in my opinion) is Gordons Wine Bar at Embankment (in a wine cellar). What about catching an art exhibition at the beautiful Somerset House on the Strand, by Aldwych? Or walklondon offer some great two hour fascinating walking tours round London… In the summer there is usually something going on in Trafalgar Square at the weekend, too. All the best with planning your date!

    • Anya says:

      Thank you so much for your suggestions Theresa – some great places and ideas that I will have a think about! I so rarely go on dinner dates but I think tapas is a nice middle ground!

  4. anna says:

    Nice lesson for today <3

  5. Anya says:

    I went on a date recently and turned up so flustered and wish I’d seen this video beforehand! Still quite timely! The guy planned the first few dates – really good quirky places and now I think I should invite him out (if he hasn’t been put off that is!) …anyone have any cool date ideas for round London??

    Thanks :)

  6. lisa says:

    Soooooo true!!!!!! Live it! Don’t just cram at the end.

  7. Kathryn says:

    That’s quite spooky you said one of your brothers articles made you think of this content. I totally agree with what you say here, though I could not possibly have out it into words, lol. I thought about what I had commented in last weeks blog from Stephen and it suddenly occurred to me how much I’ve changed in my mindset since I’ve been watching and learning with you. You think nothing has changed for ages and then you suddenly wake up and realise. There are decisions I would have made as the old me, that would, with hindsight turned out to be wrong. I cannot thank you enough that I am leading such a more fulfilled life now and it, rather ironically has nothing to do with getting a guy (literally) you know what I mean.
    A warning to ladies out there who will use Matts ways with men. They do work and should really only be tried on someone you envisage a future with ; )
    Kathryn x

  8. Emily says:

    I wanted to “like” so many of the comments below. Watch every one of your videos and look forward to them. I’m finally learning which days of the week new content gets posted so I don’t check your blog every single day any more :) Also, I got to attend one of your live seminars, have read your book and first found you by watching everything on YouTube after a friend suggested your name. Excellent content (well, maybe not the graffiti post but it was entertaining anyway!)

  9. Stacey says:

    Matthew, you are lovely. So true, these words of wisdom you speak.

  10. Bethany says:

    Great advice! I love the concept that if you are already prepared, you don’t have to GET prepared. I’m finding this helps me in staying physically fit – if I think about the possibility of meeting “the right guy” anywhere at anytime, and how I want to look great at that moment, it helps me stay on track with my workout routine. This also reminds me of a favorite saying I’ve heard: “Don’t focus on finding the right one; focus on BEING the right one.”

  11. Darla says:

    I’m intrigued by this idea. Never thought I could apply to dating but it does. Thanks for the reminder… there are no short cuts… reaping what we sow Love it!

  12. Jacqueline says:

    I love learning from and watching your videos; just as much as you love making them. So, please don’t consider NOT making them. You’re gifted and I turn to ONLY you for all advice. No one else compares!!! Now, when I finally meet someone (several years delayed due to my sister being very ill) and after I have continually watched and read all your video’s and blogs; I will gratefully go on to how to Keep The Guy. I paid for that program over one year ago and am grateful it will be there when I need it. Your video’s are fabulous, insightful, inspirational and unique. Please continue to provide them!!!!

  13. Jacqueline says:

    Fabulous information; as always!!! Your information was priceless and valuable to me on this video. Because I plan on meeting two particular men I’ve never met and when you’ve been celebrating and fully living life; you (the person) resonates with glow. Please know how important your information is to us; I have printed out your numerous blogs to refer to remain refreshed in addition to having your book and having signed up over one year ago for your program and attending your one day seminar. Please continue to provide the encouraging and valuable information we need and hunger for. Thank you for all that you do!!!!

  14. Cathy says:

    I definitely feel the pressure when I have a date with a guy I am really attracted to. You are right — as soon as I start looking at it as practice for where I want to be in 6 months, it takes the pressure off. I have realized that I need to grow more before I can create the kind of relationship I want with a partner, so it is all practice at this point. :)

  15. Hanna says:

    Thank you so much for this video I really needed it! I have a date with this guy on Wednesday and I was totally gonna blow it off just because I was terrified.. I started to get really scared and was just about to send this guy a lame excuse in a text.. I don’t like this guy and he is too old but your video made me start to think about this date as a practice date. A just for fun date, because I definitely need the practice. So thank you for giving back my positive thinking and giving me courage!

  16. MJ says:

    This video really resonates with me. I want to grow and continue to become a better person or the person I was meant to be. That special guy who comes along in my future is going to be so lucky because I will have been working all along to develop my character, social skills, health etc. I will be practising and preparing. Thanks Matt. Truly beautiful advice.

  17. Katherine says:

    Hi Matt, Thanks for another valuable insight. Dating can be tough and your support makes the process much easier: you’re the angel on my shoulder. K

  18. Linda says:

    That was a great message & really affected the way I’m going to handle the way I think about myself & handle my “journey”. Thanks so much,
    Linda

  19. D says:

    Matt..someone commented below this video that you seem a little sad. I just want to let you know that your videos are fantastic. You must have about 50+ videos on your blog with amazing advice in them, & over time I must admit I’ve watched nearly them all because I wanted to learn as much as I could about men & dating & relationships (as I felt I was lacking experience & knowledge in this area). Also, I’ve read your book & then I signed up to your newletter (by the way your newsletter, which consists of emails you send every few days, is packed full of brilliant advice). You deserve every bit of all your success.

  20. D says:

    Good advice Matt. Thanks for reminding us that a date should be FUN!

  21. Pauline says:

    Hi Matt!
    thanks for all your help and advice…loved coming to see you in Toronto with your tour.. had to eave early.. but next time hope your back for hug and a kiss.. havent found the ‘this guy: yet… but glad that im able to communicate better with them as i meet more…:)

  22. Vanessa says:

    This is great all round advice for living your life to the fullest – thanks Matt!
    I love how the advice you give in your videos can often be applied to all areas of life, and not just dating, but I am working on that too, thanks to your YouTube channel and this blog.
    You’re the best! :)

  23. gg says:

    u look sad.

    • Cathy says:

      I also thought you looked a bit sad at the end. I hope you know how much we appreciate you, Matt!!! You touch so many people’s lives in a positive way, even when you can’t personally see all the results. Everyone who is close to me hears me go on about what “Matthew Hussey, my relationship expert” says about various aspects of relationships!

  24. Tiffany says:

    Thanks Matt!

    Your so right, always thinking we have to be something were not 8)….
    and on a side note, your arms look really nice in that shirt!

  25. Pam Peters says:

    Matt, you are the master at getting your point across succinctly in your videos. This past video hit the mark! We “cram” more often than we realize. Thanks for the reminder to continue preparing for what’s to come.

  26. Darlene says:

    Matt,
    I know I don’t comment nearly as much as I should
    But I want you to know that I really look forward to your videos
    each week. You’re innovative, honest, informative, supportive
    AND eye candy. Wow. Thank you for thinking of us & helping us
    get through these singles years with confidence in our trembling
    hearts. Oh btw I also love your brother’s blog & thoughts (Jameson,
    You’re every bit as wonderful behind the scenes – I can hear your
    contagious smiles. Love it, guys! Oh I’ve been to TWO seminars
    already!!
    darlene

  27. Andrea says:

    Thank you so much for this wonderful advice, Matt. Recently I have not been very interested in dating, but in the second half of this year I will have to look for another job. When I was assigned to my present boss (in the course of an organizational change), I perceived right away that the chemistry between us was not good, and I full of panic tried to get away from him and felt absolutely desperate in every job interview. Needless to say, this strategy did not work out.

    But now if I say that I keep my eyes open and try to learn as much as I can, and any interview I have is practice material for my dream job – then this takes away the pressure. It is really a miracle. Thank you so much!!!

  28. Beth says:

    Hey Matt I hope you continue making for videos for a long while as they have become something that I look forward to every week now. I enjoy the advice you give and it gives my Sunday more enjoyable because of your videos.

  29. Jill says:

    When you started talking about your seminars it reminded me of one you did in L.A. and for some reason you kept glancing over at someone or something and all I could think was, He’s nervous. Let’s face it we all get nervous if we didn’t we wouldn’t be human it’s how we deal with those nerves that make or break us. I for one am still dealing with handling my nerves maybe one day I will conquer that :)
    I have like a million + 1 thoughts on this AND I have no clue where to start BUT if you met up with me I could probably share them with you. If you even read this. I’m sure someone will and I hope you are having a wonderful day :)

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