Overcome Social Anxiety In 3 Easy Steps

Have you ever found when you’re asked to answer a question in front of a group of people, your heartrate immediately goes up?

Or when you walk into a party, right away you feel a sense of nerves and trepidation?

To learn how you can be more proactive in applying these steps specifically when it comes to meeting men, check out my online program The Man Myth here.

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36 Responses to Overcome Social Anxiety In 3 Easy Steps

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  1. Anna says:

    Hi Matt,

    I just watched two of your videos – catcher in the rye and the one on social anxiety.

    Both of these topics are really relevant to me and have been getting me down a lot- I don’t normally make comments online but they had such an impact on me I had to thank you for your work. Thank you for your uplifting message but also for sharing your own experience..

  2. Elo Booster says:

    I’m amazed, I must say. Rarely do I come across a blog that’s both equally
    educative and amusing, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head.
    The problem is an issue that not enough folks are speaking intelligently about.
    I’m very happy I stumbled across this during my hunt for
    something concerning this.

  3. Stephanie says:

    Thank you Matt!

    It also goes the other way! I always associated myself with being shy and somewhate not opened to people but my boss told me a few months ago that I have a really strong character and that pushes me to be even more confident in my interactions :)

  4. Jenny N. says:

    I love you Matt! You’re always so full of practical wisdom and experience. Thank you for your valuable shares.

  5. Phoebe says:

    Hi Matt

    What do you think of singles events? I went to a couple. It wasn’t unpleasant, and had an ok time. The thing is going to single events makes me feel very uncomfortable. Like i’m there to advertise to the world i’m single and yes i know everyone there is for the same reason. Ask me to go to any other social or hobby event then i’m fine but I have a complexity about singles events. Should i continue to force myself to go to these things or try something different? Just wanted to know what your thoughts were on these things.

    Thank you.

  6. Grace says:

    Forgive me if you’ve already touched on the subject I’m about to mention. During the summer I was groped by different men at several venues. It left me feeling uneasy and unwilling to talk to guys. My question is how does a “high value” woman deal with situations where she is disrespected in that way?

  7. Elaine says:

    Thanks Matt!
    As ever, your advice is clear, concise, relatable and you put people at ease by labelling them all as human-beings no matter what they think separates them from others or defines them!
    I had a long chat with one of our Retreat Sisters and we have concluded you need your own TV programme- Hussey Hour or Matt’s moments!! Sure there are professionals out there that could come up with a great title! Obvs I won’t be applying for that job!
    You are a daily inspiration. Even though I have read your book, watched your YouTube vids over and over and been to Florida so you could flip my head on its arse in 5 days – I still go back into your material regularly. You’re my easy to reach encyclopaedia of ‘being great at being human’.
    I wish school had what you teach us as a subject, rather than Home Ec… Watching Jamie taught me how to cook, not Mrs Daniels!!
    Keep up the good work – hopefully you’ll spread like an epidemic and we ‘ll all overdose on being frigging awesome!!
    Love Ya Loads!
    XxxxxxxxX
    Elaine
    XxxxxxxxX

  8. Allison says:

    So Smart!!!! Thank you for sharing your beautiful brain!! You are an example of someone who is making the world a better place :) My favorite quote is “Be the change you want to see in the world” Your blogs are a road map to becoming that change for the better! Thanks again Matt!

  9. Eliz says:

    Matthew,
    Without being too syrupy….YOU ARE THE BEST!!!:)

    I look forward to hearing all your advice. You say things in such a simple way, that anyone can understand and implement your ideas. While you aim at the single woman to “Get the Guy”, your advice is for our lives in total.

    Tony Robbins “ain’t got nuttin on you” my friend!;)

    You are a blessing to me and the world.

    Sending you big huge cyber hugs!

  10. Judy says:

    Hi Matt,

    Great tips. Thanks for reminding that even with the social anxiety, we are still human after all. That helped.

  11. Faizah says:

    Thank you Matt.

  12. Tiffany says:

    Thanks Matt!! I can really identify with that, great video :)

  13. Kristi says:

    Thank you, as always, for sharing.
    I love your piece on ‘labeling’ because whether it is self labeli g or the labeling of others, either way it is damaging. I work in the preschool environment working with instructors in many different aspects but the most common one they struggle with is ‘challenging behaviours’ (or what I like to joke with them “oh! You don’t like it when people don’t do what you say?”. These children, as us, are often, just looking to feel understood and even more often trying to figure out adults ‘versions’ of what it means to ‘be good’ and what it is to ‘be bad’. I work with them on #1 building strong, caring attachments with the children #2 meeting them in a developmentally appropriate place and then #3 supporting the child throught their challenge by helping them label their feelings and blocks and being clear and concise about the desired outcome that is communicated in a way so that the child understands the benefit to them (and the instructor is forced to reflect on whether the expectation is fair and clear;))
    So many other layers of course but thank you for reminding us it continues on if we don’t look to improve ourselves and our vision of others even as adults.
    You’re awesome,

  14. Kristi says:

    Thank you, as always, for sharing.
    I love your piece on ‘labeling’ because whether it is self labeli g or the labeling of others, either way it is damaging. I work in the preschool environment working with instructors in many different aspects but the most common one they struggle with is ‘challenging behaviours’ (or what I like to joke with them to lighten their mood and frame of mind “oh! You don’t like it when people don’t do what you say?”. These children, as us, are often, just looking to feel understood and even more often trying to figure out adults ‘versions’ of what it means to ‘be good’ and what it is to ‘be bad’. I work with them on #1 building strong, caring attachments with the children #2 meeting them in a developmentally appropriate place and then #3 supporting the child throught their challenge by helping them label their feelings and blocks and being clear and concise about the BEHAVIor that is not safe so neither the child (nor the instructor) gets caught in the labeling trap.
    So many other layers of course but thank you for reminding us it continues on if we don’t look to improve ourselves and our vision of others even as adults.
    You’re awesome,

  15. AspieCatholic Girl says:

    Cool to find out you can feel anxiety even today, Matthew. Please do a video on how to socialize when you don’t have money.

  16. Agostinha Jacinto says:

    You seem tired Matt!!! :) look gorgeous..like always but tired! :) thanks for sundayvideos ! :) ***

  17. Ale says:

    Your eyes were sad Matth, today…

  18. Ana says:

    Hey Matt, I cannot wait to listen to you on 14th in London, your advices are something that are helping me change my mindset in this time of ny life when I most needed it.
    As I’m social anxious, I think I won’t dare make any questions but I will try to get familiar, start small and be generous. Thank you!

    Take care (at least until your live event ;)),
    Ana.

  19. NR says:

    Hi Matt,

    This was an incredibly timely video for me. The way you explained it is incredibly easy to understand (doing is the next step). The content for this was phenomenal. I love how you dig deep to find out what the actual truths are (rather than just taking whats out there), and also how you then make it into something so true, and so insightful. I agree 100% with what you said and I will be doing my best to incorporate these tips into my life. THANK YOU. A BIG FAN – NR

  20. Sarah says:

    Hi Matthew, thanks for sharing your advice it always makes perfect sense-
    Slightly off topic, but can I ask advice on how to stay open-minded to meeting new men, when you’ve never had a good experience long-term with a man? Sometimes it’s hard not to feel betrayed and a bit resentful, like you’re just waiting for the next one to leave you too.

    Thank you, sorry if the topic seems a bit blue.
    All the best!

  21. Katherine says:

    Hi Matthew,

    Wow I actually pushed myself into going to a Thursday evening cocktail gathering a the Ritz Carlton patio bar in Toronto. It was a last minute invite by my girlfriend whom i consider a “Hub”. I wasn’t going to go because i would still be in my outfit that i’d been wearing at work all day.
    Then I thought of the networking opportunity that i could have. The fact that i would be introduced to new people and what if a great guy was in that mix?
    Sure enough, the party was in a very high end hotel bar and it was full of celeb wannabes, wealthy types, but also a lot of working types like me my gf and another 2 friends that joined us later. So I took a deep breath and stood with drink in hand with ease and positivity (natural smile, eye contact..)
    I gotta say that I had a pretty cool time. I met and chatted with at least 6 new people that were all friendly, and very different. No guy of my dreams lol, but I met a manager from the same company that i work for and I have gained a career connection also.
    So Matt, the point i am trying to make, is that while i am sure i was listing excuses as to why i should not go downtown to that high end cocktail party. I think your bits of advice through the years, combined with my inner voice telling me to “just go to it! you never know!”
    Because no one knew that I was in the same clothes all day and from the conversations we had, they had done the same.
    Thanks xx
    Katherine

  22. Bernadettka says:

    Hey Matthew,

    There is one thing that is bothering me these days. Actually it is a question. Is it possbile to be too outgoing and sociable?

    I am a very friendly, outgoing person. I don’t find it difficult to start a converstation with a strager, be it a man or a woman.

    Unfortunately my boyfriend ( just by the way, thanks Matthew, your book really helped me a lot in mantaining and perfecting our relation) says I’m too sociable and I should be more reserved. We argue a lot about this. He doesn’t like me talking to other people ( especially men), even if it’s my work and I need to be polite with people, act friendly.

    I’ve always been like that and I’ve never seen it as something inapropriate. But maybe there’s a grain of truth in what my boyfriend says?

    Anyway, I’d really like to know your opinion and answer for this question: Is it possible to be too sociable and outgoing, and where is the line that you can’t cross in interactions with people while you’re in a relationship with someone?

    I’d be soooo glad if you could respond to my questions – these are very important for me.

    Have a great Sunday,

    Bernadetta

  23. Princess says:

    Luckily you explain very well :)
    After all, not everybody understands everything.
    But If you explain it’s easy to understand!

    If people don’t understand something I’ve learned:
    Three words can make it positive again:
    I LOVE YOU

    I.e If somebody invites you and for heart-touching reasons God knows you cannot be there, you can always say:
    You are in my heart & see you next time at the best time :) As long as the person feels loved, I believe it’s good :)

    So thank you very much for your lesson today Matt Hussey :)

    What I know is:
    This is a beautiful place to learn & I truly.enjoyed it :)

    Your advices are in my heart and I will practice all I can practice as good and As much As I can As human being :) may we all learn well <3

  24. Zoe Horner says:

    Dear Matt,

    It is so endearing to hear you come from such a genuine place. It is clear that you have really worked to be where you are and have overcome a great deal of adversity in your personal life also (in many areas)! You really are an inspiration and a testament to those who believe ‘I’m not good enough’ because you’ve felt that way also but have chose not to let that feeling define you. I have a great deal of admiration and respect for an individual like you because you feel things deeply (not only the good but also the not so good emotions – but this is your gift, and where you gain so much of your insight). Above all, I love that your heart is good, it is your most valuable trait. Thank you for giving everything you have got.
    Much love, Zoe.

  25. chandrakanthi says:

    Important question to matthew !

    Hi Matthew Hussey ,

    at 1st , great video advice from you.
    I now have something to learn from you.
    and I always write it down in my notebook , another look back later.

    Couple a weeks back , i get to know a very nice guy .
    And it clicked perfectly .
    We had a lot of the same interests, and the contact was super good ,attraction was there also .
    it clicked perfectly .

    after couple off day’s , He told me that he was going vacation for his foundation in sri lanka .
    And that he had promised me to send SMS after 3 weeks vacation to me.
    So after those three weeks he was back from vacation .

    And I always understand that you’re full of experiences in such a holiday . And you want to tell 1st . It to your family and friends
    And you have to fly to equip such a long journey of 10 hours.

    I texted him 5 days later after his arrival back in Netherlands .
    And asked with high value casuel joke , how his trip was in sri lanka .
    I waited for his answer . 1 week
    And heard nothing further from him .

    I have after a week me and limit values ​​show him .
    And told that I ‘m really disappointed that I have heard . Anything from him
    And I liked just to get to know him better.

    And if he does not want to keep the contact with , it’s not a problem . Because then I let it go and I’ll just go on with my own life , which i have now .
    so far, I have not heard from him after that texting from me.

    Matthew Hussey, can you give me some advice , in a video about this situation?

    kindly regards from , chandrakanthi .

  26. Emma says:

    Matt, you ARE human and inspite of all your work and achievements remain humble. Another of the many reasons I am attending your Women’s Retreat in October.. Sooooo excited.

    Wow. I am on my way to work in an uplifted mood.

  27. Samira says:

    Thanks Matt, once again! ;)

  28. Princess says:

    This was one of your best videos :)
    If we human beings LOVE to learn our life will always be exciting :)

    I’ll definately remember what you said :)
    Always loooooooooooooove wisdom :)
    &
    I agreeeeeeeee :)
    We are human & don’t know everything :)
    I believe God knows what is the best to learn today & I’m looking forward to learn it :)

    What I know is:
    It’s gonna be an interesting & exciting day :)

    May everybody enjoy the adventure :
    LIFE :)

    • Princess says:

      Can you delete the message above? :)
      That would be very kind of you :)
      My internet connection went off!
      …switches from on to off very often.
      So sometimes I do not know if the message was sent or not.Last time I had to write everything again :)So delete everything that does not fit here :) I understand it all & I am happy when good things happen :)
      Whatever we Do, may the best happen :)

      • Princess says:

        I believe in reason :)There is always a reason :) May we human beings do what is the best here & everywhere on this planet :)

        Thankful for all we can do As human beings :)

        • Princess says:

          As long as it is something positive, it’s fine :)

        • Princess says:

          Whatever happens:
          Matthew Hussey & his team are in my heart :)

          I got invited so many times in the past & still it is the case :)

          So I can really practice a lot :)

          What I know is:
          If somebody I like invites me
          I LOVE to be there.
          But If for some heart-touching reason
          I cannot be there God knows I am thankful & I am happy If everybody understands why :)

          This is what I always say when I get invited & could not join:

          Know that you are in my heart &
          If it is the best & possible I’ll be with you next time :)

          I understand that we human beings cannot be everywhere at the same time :) & If you tell tell the person you love them, they will understand & look forward to next time :)

          What I know is:
          Never stop saing I love you to people you truly LOVE :)
          &
          It is always possible to show you love the person who invited you :) & If the person feels it & understands, it’s wonderful :)

  29. Anna says:

    Love it, as always. Especially the last one. I don’t consider myself a very kind person but I try to be better and from time to time focus on other people and making them smile (even when I feel like crap myself).
    The best way to forget about your own problems is to help other people with THEIR problems. The sam rule applies here. So wise, Matt! Can’t wait to practise it :) Have a great Sunday and thank you so much for another amazing video. You’re very very good at what you do. You really are (our supportive:)) Iron Man, thanks for that :)

  30. erika says:

    Thank you Matthew! Love this video.

  31. Shannon says:

    Thanks Matthew! I love these tips. When I got out on Friday, I will be using them!

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