The Worst Way To Breakup With Someone…

At the end of a romantic relationship, or even a working one, to what extent should you cut that person out of your life entirely?

Some of us do this immediately. We burn all our bridges.

We scream, yell, and as a matter of pride we declare to ourselves that we’ll never associate with them again. But is that a good way to end things? I don’t always think so. We can also get punished later on for being too stubborn in life.

In this week’s LOVELife video, I explain exactly when it’s ok to burn a relationship and when you should leave the door open for some kind of future (even if right now that idea sounds too painful…).

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

33 Responses to The Worst Way To Breakup With Someone…

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  1. Belle says:

    Well, I need something more practical though.
    Being nice is ok; but it doesn’t mean that being nice means you have to put up with all those shit from whoever take it for granted.

    I could use some practical advice, please.
    Is there any one on one advice link that i can go to?

  2. Sam says:

    I agree with you. A couple of my previous relationships had continued to be friendship now. However, it also depends on the person’s character. Eg. My previous fiance turns out to a self centered person. First of all, he broke up over hand phone message. Next, when our friends arranged for us to meet to talk things over and asked for his reason why he break off the relationship. He put all blames on me as if I’m the only culprit who ruin the relationship. And even before he start to put all blames on me. I was the first to apologize for my mistake. Prior to these break off. He ignored me for months and after that he wanted an intimacy night out with me. After which, he switched off completely from me and called off the relationship. And not only is he self centered, he is also a coward due to his pride. And all my friends who are not that close enough with him compared that I do, he was a well known Mr Nice Guy. But when we were alone together. He is a different person, he has no respect for me. And he expected me to be tolerant with him while he happily gallivanting with his buddies and left me in the cold for weeks. I’m quite an independent person, the only thing I do to occupy my time is to do my things. For such a hypocrite, coward, self centered guy, do you think it’s worth for me to be nice to him after break off. At one moment, he was super nice, on the hand, he left me in the cold and stab a knife into my heart. And after the break off, he started to show concern for me. Do you think, I should continue to hold on to such a bridge. I ain’t a fool. I have my own self respect as a woman. Infact, I seriously despise him as a man. Don’t you agree? I

  3. Laurence says:

    I completely agree with the whole “let’s handle separations with dignity” concept. I usually live by it. However, I’ve had to do the opposite last week with my now ex-boyfriend. After having tried a few mature and dignified conversations about what kind of expectations we both had and never getting answers, as well as a few break ups but him always coming back, I’ve had to turn nasty and tell him in no uncertain terms that he should leave me alone until he could figure out what he really wants. I said a few things that would definitely have hurt his ego, on purpose, so that he would not try a 100th come back… I’ve also blocked him on my phone/social media etc… It is not something I liked doing but, in my view, it was necessary.

  4. Anna says:

    Thank you Matthew. This has served me so well. I had a short fling with a guy last summer which I ended in a very honest and respectful way. He handled the breakup in a very respectful way which I found to say a lot about his integrity and self worth. He contacted me early March with a short sweet text and we met. The short version is that I am getting more into him and enjoying dating him. So, I can only ecco what you have already said.

  5. Emily says:

    Good advice. I’ve often said that if my life was a shape, it would be a figure 8. Think I’m going in the opposite direction of where I’ve been, then suddenly cross back over where I’ve been before.

  6. Maru O. says:

    I have always agreed with you in this matter, but wouldn´t it be healthier to burn bridges with someone that has deeply hurt you and could still have the ability to do so if they have a chance?

    Love,
    Maru

  7. Donna says:

    It all depends on the reasons for the breakup.
    If there was no mutual respect or trust.
    I don’t anyone to come back into life in any capacity.

  8. Jo says:

    im not trusted to read what others say only fake accounts,lol lol ok

  9. Lulu says:

    It’s interesting that I get to see this right when I’m leaving a long term relationship in pain now.

    Thank you.

  10. Jo says:

    Interrogation! Blame the victim, insult them, lie to them, play with their head, social manipulation, isolation, tap their phone, screen share their PC, watch on PC cam, then at what you see online! or comment, confuse them, tell THEM they starting an argument! (again blame the victim), follow them, agree with them to get them relaxed, make them feel self con, make them think they the mad one! ALL this and more for money!

  11. Julie MacKenzie says:

    Reality is….Be kind….You never know when those people will come back into your life…Whether it is a job, a personal relationship….The world is really a small place.. Don’t be mean…you NEVER KNOW when you might need them again…Just be accountable for yourself ;)

    • Jo says:

      I dont agree, find your type of person, NOT ALL people get on!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Julie MacKenzie says:

        That’s OK Jo…You are entitled to have your opinion..& I’m entitled to have mine…I’m not arguing with you… That may be the experiences you have had…but NOT the experiences I have had…Just saying…No need to get angry at me for voicing my opinion..That’s all…

        • Jo says:

          I dont like FAKE accounts following me thats all! Stalkers they called, paid stalkers! I think i was told £500 per person to convict them! And im glad people are letting me now let me have my own mind and not use brainwashing social manipulation. Or is it the thing where you do them a favor and they listen to you? Or is it control my behavior, when its feelings!

    • Rattana says:

      Totally agreed with you Julie! My BF just broke up with me and he did in person, which I appreciated that. I didn’t even cry or break down when he said things weren’t working out. All I said was that thank you for being honest and I truly respect his decision to end the relationship. He said to me to feel free to keep in touch and if I ever need help. I said sure. I have not been incontact since the break up. It is not because I am upset or hate him but because I want to get over him fast.

      • Julie MacKenzie says:

        Good for you Rattana…It is always good to have a clean, decent break…if you can…At least he did it in person…& didn’t text you…Now..you can go on with your life…& I’m sure you will find love again…You are probably way younger than me. I came out of a 25 year marriage…& it has been 7 years now…but I am single & ready to mingle. I had to get my “blueprint” in place, before I was ready to meet someone else. But, I am on the right track..& HOPE to get my guy…with the help from the advice of Matthew…I was lucky enough to be chosen to go to one of his Retreats…so am very excited about that! I get to meet other Hi-Value women…the energy in the room will be “busting out”…I am sure of it! ;) I am still a hopeless romantic…Don’t let your past experiences with men ruin or taint your future with the next one! Live life to the fullest & chalk it up to experience… ;) Hugs! It will be all good…in the end…You have to sift through the weeds to get to the rose…Just saying…And second time around for me…I am looking for that rose too! It’s NEVER TOO LATE! ;)

  12. Sydney says:

    Matthew, I didn’t follow what I said. My stomach is in a knot over someone I loved eight years ago and continue to love to this day.

    I could be myself completely around him, and I just miss his presence. I remember everything about him.

    Including his email address, unfortunately.

    If I had one wish, it would be him. I have no wish. I have no hope.

    He’s gone into the inappropriate abyss, where he always lives, each time I realize I love him.

  13. Jo says:

    Some men might might the one AND MARRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and tell you to fuck off forever, its life, and their loss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. Jo says:

    People have made it difficult for me to come to them, they made that clear BIG TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  15. Jo says:

    You may not want them to come back!

    Jo

  16. Sydney says:

    I am one of those people who believes if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. I don’t believe in on again off again or grand reunions of the future.

    It’s always laced with old drama when the old and the gone and the past are revisited.

    Do I really care if NOW I’m a priority if back then I wasnt? NOW I’m not a nightmare, back then I was?

    It’s just a mind fuck.

    Old feelings are residual and misleading. I like a fresh slate, I now realize that

    Leave an open door, with boundaries. Let’s not get airy, fairy about the future. It was cancelled out with breakup #1. Billions of people in the world.

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