The 7 Most Unromantic Romantic Gestures

A recent scientific study (…well Marie Claire) showed the two most romantic things you can do for your partner are…

1) Put on a candle-lit dinner. 2) Write a hand-written love note. This got me thinking…

There are many cliché romantic things we can do for our partners, but I’m a big believer in the most romantic things being unexpectedly romantic.

As such, I’ve compiled a list of 7 unromantic romantic things you can do for your partner.

By the way, ladies, I would suggest you send this video to the man in your life.

If you’re single, if nothing else, send it on to your uncle, brother, or someone you know whom this will earn huge brownie points for.

They’ll thank you later!

1) See the terrible movie your partner really wants to see

When your partner’s shown you some awful trailer that they think is great, book the tickets to go see it.

I know you don’t want to go. They know you don’t want to go, but it’s going to mean the world to them that you took the initiative instead of being dragged along kicking and screaming.

2) Surprise them with their favourite lunch

Surprise your partner at their office by taking them their favourite lunch. This will be totally unexpected, and you get extra points if it’s a spot that’s way out of reach for them during their lunch break.

3) Run them a bath

Run a nice, warm bath. Get some bubbles going, a few candles and some music…

Then get the hell out.

The whole point of this one is you’re not there. Romantic things don’t always have to involve the two of you. You can do something romantic by leaving them to it. This one involves them relaxing and you giving them space.

4) Take their mum out to lunch

Spend some quality time with the person they care about most.

This doesn’t seem romantic as it’s not with them at all, but it will go massively appreciated that you’re putting in the time and effort with someone they care about.

Treat them well, make it on you, and show them a great time.

5) Wash her car

This is a nice, manly thing to do. Totally out of the blue and she’s going to love it.

6) Make her feel like a princess at that time of the month

This might just be the least romantic sounding of all, but there are going to be times where you lady has her ‘lady pains’.

When it gets to that time of the month, you have to think of all of the little things you can do for her in the moment.

Have a ritual set up. Get her a heating pad, rub her back, put on her favourite Disney movie, and do all of the little things that will ‘ambush her with kindness’.

Make her feel like a princess at a time where she’s normally used to guys not having a clue how to take care of her.

7) Learn how to make HER cup of tea

Everyone has their own particular way of doing things.

Learn the subtle intricacies for how your partner likes things done, and it will amplify the effect of you ever doing them.

Not only are you making her a cup of tea, breakfast in bed, or cooking a fancy dinner, you’re doing it the way she’s always fantasied about.

And that’s it!

Sometimes the most romantic things you can do are seemingly the most unromantic things you could do. It’s these little moments where you really show your partner you’re there for them in ways that no one else is.

Anyone can throw together a candle-lit dinner on a first date or write a love note. Here’s a list of things that show you know your partner inside out, and that you care deeply for them.

Question of the day…

What’s the most unromantic romantic thing someone has done for you? It doesn’t have to be something that seemed romantic to everyone else, but it felt romantic to you. Let me know in the comments!

For advice and strategies on how to find a man, the A-Z of dating, and a blueprint for how to get a guy out of friend zone, check out my online program The Man Myth. I cover all of these and more, and you could be watching it in just minutes by clicking here.

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204 Responses to The 7 Most Unromantic Romantic Gestures

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  1. Carol says:

    For my birthday, my guy bought me a crème brulé set and a butane cooking torch. I had once mentioned in passing months before that I had always wanted one but that it was so impractical I would never buy one. I hadn’t even thought he was listening at the time! I felt so cherished in that moment, learning how much he listened to me even after we’d only been dating a month or two.

  2. Annastacia says:

    Who is Jameson? Is he your brother?

  3. Sarah says:

    My ex used to make me things. Silly things. He once made me a card which had a plastic cow (my favourite animal) that popped out when you opened the it. The card was covered in pretty pictures that he’d cut out from magazines. It was totally unexpected and sweet.

  4. erika says:

    Love this. Boys take notes. I thought the “jameson, you know me so well” was super funny

  5. Furniture says:

    nice blog i love it

  6. School Wear Manufacturers says:

    your blog is so nice.i like it

  7. Eva says:

    the most romantic thing i’ve ever seen was in the movie “no strings attached” when Ashton made a period mix for Natalie, was original, cheap and very meaning

  8. Panel Beating Roodepoort says:

    your blog color is nice i like because its my favorite color.

  9. Elise says:

    most unromantic romantic,

    i tell you some you chose the most

    let me sleep on his favorite side of bad (done)
    be friends with my friends (wish)
    surprise me with my favorite ice cream for no reason (wish)
    take the initiative on something i want to do (wish)
    not to turn immediately after “you know what” (kind of done)
    kiss me discretely and unexpectedly (done and should always)
    respect and encourage my space, get me some to drink (done)
    not to blow me away when i need care (wish) unfortunately
    complement when i am finely ready to go (done)

    etc….

  10. Cece Ramos says:

    Lovely Video… a bit funny but I got the concept of it. Keep it up!

  11. Darcia says:

    Excellent video – great suggestions AND hilarious! Bravo! :)

  12. Renee says:

    Hello Matthew,

    First of all, thank you for doing such a great job. I am following you for three years now and just can’t get enough of your videos! you are my dictionary when I wonder about men.

    So, i have a question for you and I sincerely hope you will answer on my questions since I am not able to join your seminars because of the distance ( I am from Central Europe)

    maybe you can make a video or give me an advice on the following topic: ” what does it really change when you are not just dating anymore but you become his girlfriend… How big is for him when he tells you that he looks at you as a girlfriend? How big is this transition for him? As big as for women? bigger? ” Because for women is huge and I am more trustful, more cosy…but i dont want to scare man off? how should I behave in this situation? Like before? do i have a right to call him more often or ask him for advice…

    if you find this interesting please make a video and just elaborate this topic.

    and another question for you is: ” do you think some men are afraid of successful women, when they get a feeling you are strong and able to pursue your dreams? So, do ” men that are afraid of successful women” exist? because from my experiences they do…or maybe I play the role of an intellectual woman and he just wants to hire me for a business project :). it is a thin line here…

    hope to see you very soon in other parts of Europe ( not just UK) too!

  13. Renee says:

    I couldn’t agree more!! if there would be any guy in my life I would forward this…hm…ok….I just cought myself saying i am not dating….ok ok …. i will buy The Man Myth :). and thank you so much for taking care of women love life.

  14. Maddy says:

    Hey Matt! As always just love to hear your ideas, as always so great! This really made me think about the reverse side of things as well – things that I could do that show I really care. Putting more into the ‘little things’ so to speak makes the world of difference.

  15. Jill says:

    Bahahahaha you are such a dork…Marie Claire:p I have to say great tips and I do wonder do you practice what you preach? Also I can’t believe you don’t know who Tori Amos is but then again you were probably still in diapers/nappies when she made it big.

  16. H says:

    I cannot believe I’m watching a video about exactly what I was just thinking about!

    Matthew you’re right, men should make a woman feel like a princess on their time of the month. I have a back ache and was just thinking… basically of you’re advice in what you gave (as it is that time of the month for me).

    Now I’m going to make myself a cuppa tea… strong, two sugars and not too much milk lol

    Great words of wisdom (especially about washing the car)

  17. Aussie Lady says:

    I don’t know if this unromantic but I dated a guy that used to always walk on the side closest to the road, after while I ask him why he did it. He said it was to protect me from any puddles cars may hit or if a car hit the side walk he would get hurt first.

  18. Yorkshire Lass says:

    I could make you a cracking cuppa tea Matt!

  19. Marina says:

    Always suprising!!! Matt, I love you!!!!!!

  20. Savannah says:

    I totally concur with this. Acts of service and quality time being my two highest love languages… Something as simple as taking out the trash or getting an oil change done in my car speaks louder than those typically romantic things.

  21. Sam says:

    How have you never heard of Tori Amos?! Jameson and I would get along. I like these tips. Sending them to my boyfriend of four months. I think he’ll enjoy them :)

  22. Sigi says:

    Hi Matt and team,

    when my boyfriend and I started dating, I wasn´t that keen on him.He called me lots of times and left messages that i did not bother to answer because I felt he was too clingy. The afternoon I came home from work, I saw a rose stuck to the door! That was a turningpoint. It was the most romantic and unexpected gesture a man has done for me in a long time and i started to fall in love with him.

  23. Andja says:

    Good morning Matt & Co,

    Your question made me smile cause that’s what my guy is all about: unexpected, sweet, NON-romantic gestures that take my breath away regardless…. He’ll say “Oh I know you love flowers and chocolates and other girlie crap, but hey I’m from Sicily so forgetaboutitsweety.” And then, over and over again, he’ll come in the house proving he thought about how to impress or whoo me or soothe my ‘monthly-party’ etc…. Going to great lenghts to remember everything I ever told him, say he noticed a magazine with a cover article on a topic I’m fascinated by: guess what he’ll bring me with a good bottle of wine along with it?? Or he’ll print stuff at work on his ever-so-busy days @the office for his mega nerdy girlfriend to satisfy my need to read :)) Or he’ll make sure to buy me milk and olive oil (??!!) just before I run out od either one, cause these are the essentials in my kitchen and he knows it….. Leaving me wondering when on earth he picked up that sixth sense..? I could go on but obviously I love him!!!!!!!!!
    ~ bi 4 now

  24. Kristi says:

    Hey Hussey,

    Loved the vid but now I am wondering the opposite version of this for our male counterparts? What could we do for for them that is unromantic/ romantic that we might not be already doing? Do you have a list to guide us in showing the men in our lives that we care and understand they have different needs from our own?
    Thank you,
    K
    PS-Love how you keep things light in your vids and keep us laughing. You and your team are hilarious. :)

  25. Rebecca says:

    Matt, this video cracked me up – brilliant! Absolutely love your ‘Diet Coke ad car wash’ idea – if a guy could do that or something similar for me in both a sexy and humourous way I’d fall for him right there and then! In fact if a guy did 3 or 4 out of these things, I could easily fall in love with that man. I also love it when a guy knows what food or drink to order for me, or he recommends or surprises me something different based on what he knows I like. I’m hoping there are men out there who do understand this stuff counts. As many men as possible NEED to see this video! Thank you Matthew, keep up the good work :)

  26. rivy says:

    i pray to God and the universe that I marry a man like you.

  27. Carla says:

    Hey, Matt, can you do a video on what guys would similarly consider “unromantic” romantic moves? I only ask because I have done most of these for my boyfriends, but it doesn’t seem to earn me brownie points. Are guys not looking for more attention? If so, then what are they looking for?

    Oh, and my favorite was when my ex got up early to shovel out a space for my car on his street (there was …two feet of snow?) because he knew I was heading over. :) Oh, and another time I convinced an ex that “The Holiday” was a horror film, just so he wouldn’t whine about having to watch it.

  28. tania says:

    Hi Matt!
    I just got your Keep the guy DVD set.
    Having a blast learning so much.
    I’m up to DVD #4 I believe.
    My question to you is:
    When you say a man’s blueprint can be changed by influence and that these are best achieved with positive associations, can you give some examples?
    How can one be subtle on doing this without him noticing?

  29. Sophie says:

    You make me laugh. But yes I don’t really do these things & on a deeper level I think this is why I’m not creating deeper lasting attraction in my relationships. I have done things I don’t want to for them (football matches, films) but that’s about it. I can see how powerful these things would be. Thank you & I’ll save this video for when I’m next in a relationship!! Thank you so much Matt!

  30. Ashleigh says:

    So good! Definitely a must share!
    You know us women so well;)
    But obviously these things can go both ways.

    Ashleigh

  31. Angela K says:

    All excellent gestures, though when I’m in pain ( any kind of pain ) I really like to be left well and truly alone !!!!

    Also, I do like a bit of tea with my milk :O)

  32. Sage says:

    You’ve just described my relationship with my departed (due to cancer) husband. Thanks for letting me know I’m okay in what I think is romantic.

    Any advice on how to handle tactfully a guy neighbora grocery store clerk and putting his hand on my shoulder? Would it be considered self-defense to break their fingers should they do that again? I gave each a mean look and said nothing walking quickly away.

  33. Teresa says:

    Wow Mat number 7 is defiantly the most important for us women. I haven’t met a guy yet that knows how to handle those times…they just kind of run off and disappear. Which makes us feel like they don’t really care.

  34. Kam C says:

    I love your knowledge and application of ideas that are counter-intuitive and paradoxical.

  35. Kayla says:

    I love this video! I’m the kind of person that feels the most loved when someone does some kind of act of service, so I go ideas from it :)

    One thing I would love to hear you talk about is “chemistry”. How important is it in a relationship? Is it enough just to have admiration and appreciation rather than an intense attraction? And if you are in a long term relationship, and the chemistry is dwindling, what can you do to get it back? Should you stay with them at all? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject if you have the time.

  36. Leslie says:

    lol.. Okay you sound like you need to get it on Matt. “washing her car and making a video of you with your shirt off” (your little moment?) and loved that little “hint, hint” for Jamison. Sry about being so blunt

  37. Lou says:

    This is by far the funniest video you have aired…. loved it :)

  38. Liz says:

    My fiancee has a very hectic work schedule with his company understaffed and it has resulted in a lot of double shifts. This week imparticular meant I was not going to see him until saturday :( However the other day knowing how crappy of a week Id had at my own job he got someone else to work the shift and instead of coming home at 3am walked in the door at 5:30pm to surprise me :)

  39. JJ. says:

    I have had a guy that use to put the toothpaste on my toothbrush right before I got up to brush in the morning. I loved that!

  40. Pris says:

    Hmm…

    Matthew, one question…Can you sing? :D

  41. Tricia says:

    Perfect, Thankyou Matthew. Hm…and imagine if Parents modelled this behaviour for their kids to see…wow.

  42. Nina says:

    Hi Matt,

    thx for your new video, I learned a lot. But I`ve got a big problem. From 2009, I know a guy who is in Switzerland. He has been my support and has always helped me like a real man. But, 3 times I have asked if he likes me, he has answered: just as a friend. Ok. But he invites me to ski with him in Switzerland ( staying in their apartment) now going to another town in France ( again staying in their other house). I have refused his invitations til now cause I know it will hurt me. He knows I love him,( I have said to him) but he always reminds me that he just wants to keep his friend stand and nothing more.Noone has understood til now what he means! ( my american, canadian, french girlfriends all believe that I shouldn`t accept his invitations). I will appreciate it if you say what you think, cause its like 5 yrs that I am lost toward such a relationship.
    PS: I am Iranian( muslim,29,wearing scarf,PhD student), he is swiss( says doesnt believe in God,33,engineer)

    • Sara says:

      Oh boy, Nina. I hate to say it but it does not sound like a good situation , and my heart goes out to you . You should drop him, and be with men who want you for a girlfriend and NO LESS.

      Don’t you want a guy who says he won’t be JUST your friend ! ?

      Don’t accept his invitations unless you are both 1) bored and 2) also only interested in a purely platonic (nothing physical) friendship.

      Protect your heart, and get a great guy down the line.

      Cheers!
      S. the Cheeky

    • Leslie says:

      Iranian, I’m sorry to say, but no don’t take his invite. If you really want to just talk to him over the internet like you are, but don’t go any farther. The only thing that is going to come out of you seeing him is a (excuse my language), but F*ck buddy. Their are better guys out their that would want you as a girlfriend. Best of luck Leslie

    • Leslie says:

      Nina, I’m sorry to say, but no don’t take his invite. If you really want to just talk to him over the internet like you are, but don’t go any farther. The only thing that is going to come out of you seeing him is a (excuse my language), but F*ck buddy. Their are better guys out their that would want you as a girlfriend. Best of luck Leslie

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