Relationships are hard.
Two people can want to be together but have TOTALLY different criteria for the amount time spent together, the amount of affection and hugging they want, and the amount of sex they should have.
So what if this new guy you’re dating is amazing…but you don’t feel compatible in your expectations?
In this week’s LOVELife, I speak with a caller who worries if she is TOO independent for her guy, and how she can be honest with him about her need for space without hurting his feelings.
Love the back and forth on this call, and how Matt was able to suss out some of the issues that the caller wasn’t being forthright on. Also agreed that libido is one that is hard to manage when it doesn’t click…..it only gets worse, and it is pretty important.
Omg yes!
One of the best calls I’ve heard thus far! VERY helpful!!!
Thank you for airing that one!!!
Only a man with your experience and emotional intelligence could have handled the call so sensitively, you showed a lovely side to yourself there Matt.
I bet matthew and i have compatible libido,hahaha
Matt, I spoke to my ex about our unsatisfying level of physical intimacy, my sex drive was higher than his and I think he was dealing with some anxiety and low self-esteem, which he didn’t open up to me about. He ended it between us. I believe the only problem was the incompatible libido, not anything to do with how well we got on or treated each other.
My issue now is that you have an entire program about ‘Getting Your Ex Back’ and you release videos about making ‘him’ beg to have you back. However on a recent video you pointed out that the only reason you should be considering getting your ex back is if you had messed up and you need to prove you have changed.
It’s so confusing when going through a break up. I KNOW I didn’t do anything wrong when I asked for more sex within our relationship, but I am someone who is proactive who likes to make improvements in my life if I have messed up and it is so easy to become insecure now and believe that I could just win him back somehow and if I follow your advice I’ll show him he can have the desire for me that would help us to figure out our sex life. I KNOW deep down he needs to work on his own self-esteem just as I have over the last few years, but hearing your advice about ‘just being more desirable’ throws me into thoughts of, oh maybe I can just show him how hot I can look…
What I’m saying is, it can be very confusing with mixed messages and throws me all over the place in terms of moving on one minute then wanting to look back and work on the faults the next minute. Even though it’s his deficiency, not mine… you see my problem? My head knows one thing but the suggestion that it could be fixed kills me… because it can’t.