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Why Just Being Friends With Guys Will Keep You Single

In this week’s episode of LOVELife I talk about the type of woman who says, “all my friends are guys” – and the dangers that can have on your love life if you’re one of them. Enjoy!

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15 Replies to “Why Just Being Friends With Guys Will Keep You Single”

  • I love my girlfriends as much as my guy friends I believe that variety is the spice of life. I learn so much from my female friends as I do from my guy friends I couldn’t imagine my life without them!

  • Yay for rants! Do you still answer comments here Matt?
    Will you speak on the topic of commitment please?
    Thank you so much, as always :-)

  • I used to be that person. Now I just like flirting with men instead. Personally, I need a good deal of both to be happy. Can’t be around either 24/7

  • OMG This is me!!! 100% I don’t like having too many emale friends because of the drama//jealously///gossip… Basically like you said competition… And hanging around with guys I feel gives an inside to how guys are?… I’m trying to hangout more with girls but these girls aren’t dependable to go hangout with And is it bad because I want to hangout with them to attract men when going out No

    Thanks Matt this one was an eye opener

  • WOW Matt you’re bang on! I love this. I know many women who ‘only hang out with guys’. They’re often very into guy stuff and rather dismissive of other women. As others have also pointed out-they hate the drama, jealousy, judgments, backbiting and bitching that occurs with women friends. They are rather proud of themselves “being one of the guys” who are “above all this petty drama and ugliness”.
    I’m one of those women who hangs out with both guys are girls (often together) but most of my closer friendships are with women. Close friendships with men can be tricky and so it easier being friends with only those men who are not interested in me romantically/otherwise.
    I have largely feminine interests so by default I am usually surrounded by women. I love masculine energy as well and enjoy the banter with men but rarely share their interests in sports/cars or other “male” stuff.
    Now, I definitely agree that there is a certain amount of bitching and gossip etc. that goes on in women’s circles. There is plenty of jealousy and competition too. But I have found many women who are very supportive, caring and understanding and I love sharing my feminine interests with them. Not ALL women are “mean girls” and I have great respect and a feeling of sisterhood with other women.
    Men on the other hand, generally, are more fun and ‘cool’ about things–i.e. there is less drama. Also with men, there is little competition with women as most of the competition is among themselves. In some ways they might be better company if someone has more ‘masculine interests’. But guys can be bitchy, judgmental and critical too–even towards other women (who might be a threat/competition to them in another area). They judge women who sleep around, they judge their looks, character everything albeit in a different way. So there is no escaping these factors. It is a natural human tendency. There are other undesirable male characteristics such as frequent, one-upmanship, boasting, arrogance, the male ego, insensitivity etc. Besides, good people are good people regardless of gender.
    I find I often can’t rely on my guy friends for emotional support because they don’t fully understand nuances of my emotions and offer to “fix” things rather than empathize. So there are certain things that women are better at giving and vice versa. Indeed both sexes have much to offer-that is complementary.
    I have often been suspicious of women who say they don’t like other women. Usually they’ve had unpleasant experiences growing up with women and resign themselves. But I find these women are the most difficult to deal with. They suspect genuine compliments, are quick to misinterpret actions, sometimes are the most competitive of the lot, harsh and critical, disdainful of feminine traits and some can even attack (figuratively) more feminine women. Some of them are just indifferent.Some of them are nice (and hurt) and are often genuinely surprised to find good female companionship. I personally feel competitiveness between women is natural but rather tiring and immature. I tend to disengage from it even while being with other women. I think all women are special in their own way and no one can steal your (true match )guy away from you. If someone can, the guy is not your true match. Guys are not objects that can be “stolen”. They make their own decisions and if someone is not smart/insightful enough to see your value, he is not worth it. Even with other thins such as jobs, titles–may the best one win. If someone wins by unfair means, it is their cross to bear. No man or prize or job is worth ruining a solid friendship for.
    But those women who only like men and hate women-I fail to understand where they are coming from. Can someone please provide some insight as to why they behave this way and what they really feel inside?

  • I enjoyed listening to this episode because I was always curious as to why those girls who are always the “guy” with the other guys. I actually have been burned twice by a girl who was just one of the boys of the group of guys from my ex’s. So I was very curious because sometimes I feel like can girls really be just friends with guys? In my experience, no way. But that is just because of what I’ve been through. Thank you again Matthew for giving me more insightful information to take in.

    Stephanie

  • I get different things from my guy friends and girl friends. but yes there’s definitely something off about a woman who can’t open up to women. I was an assistant organizer in a meetup group and the organizer was like this. she wouldn’t up to women and while she was attractive, I never found her a threat and wished she would open up more. she ended up betraying me and I think probably was interfering with my relationship with my boyfriend. obviously not to blame her fully since my ex had something to do with it. but I’ve learned there are certain types of women a woman cannot trust and the ones you can’t trust are the ones that won’t open up to you. my ex said there was competition between us, not sure if he was just saying that but I never felt any competition between her because I have an awesome personality. She was probably seen as more ‘prettier’ than me but she had no personality and was very boring. I am glad I am not her friend because she had nothing to bring to the friendship

  • Let’s just say..
    That If you ever come to Israel..
    I’ll defently consider
    dropping my handkerchief
    by an accident for you ;)

    I really enjoy your mind-set coaching
    Your intelegence in general
    and Intelligent language in particular
    Not to mention how hot your breatish accent sounds :)

    I agree with your perspective,
    moved by your sensitivity yet sexy and elegant
    good-hart approach
    The fact you are such a beautiful guy
    really remains a small fragment of what I detect as a great personality.
    (My reference is for all I have seen so far..)
    I really love your pation!

    In short, Thank you Matt. You inspire me

    Tamar :)

  • This one really hit me in the core. I really agree with the things you said and understand your point of view. I just feel like you forgot one point: I try to surround myself with people whos company I really enjoy. Not women, not men, just people. I just feel like it’s more about finding the people with whom you feel the most like your self. And it shouldn’t be catagorized by gender…

  • I do not think this time you are right;) most of the time you are right and I would say maybe 50% one this subject.I have had girlfriend and they seem to always try to sleep with my bf. SO I went years without girlfriends and I decided I miss having girlfriends…So I had few food girlfriends …All I got was jealousy I met someone and she got weird …Guys are less emotional and stable friends TRUE STORY!!

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