10 Subtle Ways He’s Flirting

Is he being friendly, or is he actually flirting?

It’s not always easy to know.

Men can be pretty obvious creatures – yet it’s easy to misread the signals even when you’re face-to-face in conversation with a guy.

woman smiling at man

Mostly this is because when you’re nervous, or you like a guy, it’s easy to get caught in your own head and fail to notice any subtle flirting that’s going on under the surface.

So I’m going to explain the 10 signs of flirting every woman should know, so that you’re never again feel in the dark about his feelings:

1. He’ll find little excuses to touch you 

Ok, this is a tricky one, because the truth is, how much a guy touches you will entirely depend on how confident he is.

If he’s confident, you’ll know soon enough – he’ll find ways to gently touch your arm when he’s laughing, or he’ll touch your back when he points something out across the room. Another classic guy-move is to find an excuse to touch your hand (while pretending he’s checking out your jewellery).

Just make sure he doesn’t do it with EVERY woman in the room so that you know he’s actually interested in you.

As for the shy guy, he’s much more likely to hold back, so look for the little moments of subtle flirting. Again, this might be him pointing out your bracelet, and ever so subtly touching your hand when he inspects it, or he might stand close to your side when you talk so that your arms are touching.

To be blunt, more physical contact = more flirting.

2. He isn’t just interested in what you do, he’s interested in what you think

woman thinking

When a guy likes you, he’s going to ask more and more questions.

If he only likes you as a friend, he might ask superficial questions about what you do and where you’re from.

But if he’s romantically interested, you’ll find that he progresses a level deeper and asks you about your opinions, your thoughts on relationships, what you books and movies you like.

Basically, if he’s showing an interest in your mind, it definitely means he wants to know you better (and he desperately wants some ideas in case he plans to ask you out on a date!)

3. He’ll throw in lines like “you’re really cool”

Little compliments are another sign that he’s flirting.

He may be subtle with these and compliment your clothes or your style, or he may just say things like, “wow, that’s so cool!” with a passionate look in his eyes, or he’ll say “I love that!” when you say something he agrees with.

Look for any moment he seems to passionately agree with you or tell you how unique or interesting you are. It’s a definite sign he wants you to know he likes you.

4. He gets more energetic when you’re around

man and woman sitting down talking

When a guy is interested, he tends to get more excited, playful and energetic in conversation (even if he’s trying to play it cool).

Notice if he suddenly becomes more engaged when you join his conversation, or if he seems to be making an effort to get your attention.

Careful though, some guys are naturally loud so you may need to test a bit to see if he only does this around you rather than everyone he meets!

5. He teases you to get your attention

We just can’t help it.

Maybe it’s something primal, but when a man likes you he’ll do anything to make you smile or get an emotional reaction.

If he’s making little jokes with you, or lightly teasing you about something you said, or just generally directing all his sarcastic jokes in your direction, you can be pretty sure it’s because he’s vying for your attention.

No, I’m not saying if he insults you, he likes you.

But if he’s trying hard to make you laugh or to provoke a reaction out of you (e.g. he calls you a “dork” with a cheeky smile), you KNOW it’s because you’re the person in the room he’s the most drawn to.

6. He keeps staring at your eyes and lips

couple staring at each other

 Some guys will just get lost in a reverie of staring deeply at you from across the room, or he’ll gaze into your eyes and then down to your lips in conversation (known as “Triangular Gazing”).

Men are visual creatures – if he likes what he sees, he won’t be able to tear his gaze away.

The eyes are one of the best signs of flirting, particularly if he looks at you when he laughs, or he can’t help staring at you when he thinks you’re not looking.

7. He lets his friends leave you both alone

When a man is talking to a woman he likes, he barely gives a thought to whether it’s been 10 minutes or a whole hour. It’s as though time just slips away.

You know a guy is into you if he stops worrying about where his friends are, or if he doesn’t seem eager to include them in your conversation. Basically, he’ll laser in his focus on you and will find ways to keep talking even when conversation goes dry.

Basically, if he’s happy to have you all to himself, it’s because that’s exactly the way he wants it!

8. He finds reasons to see you again

Guys will often look for common interests (books, movies, art galleries, comedy) in the hope of being able to say, “I love that too!”.

Or maybe you’ll both talk about a part of your city you’ve never been to, which he’ll use a chance to say: “We should go together sometime!”

Even if he says this in an off-hand way, any indication he wants to be alone somewhere with you is a BIG tick in the “flirting” box!

9. He sends a follow-up text after you hang out

woman checking her phone

Maybe you’ll spend a day in a group of friends hanging out, after which he soon texts you immediately saying “Did you have fun?”, or he’ll text you about a shared joke from earlier.

This may be subtle flirting, but the fact that he still wants to talk even after spending a whole day in your company means you’ve definitely been on his mind since he got home.

10. He gets a little protective around you (in a cute way)

 Guys can quickly get into “Chivalrous Knight” mode when they’re attracted to a woman. It’s a little childish and unnecessary, but it’s his way of wanting to prove his caring nature to you.

He may be particularly quick to open doors for you, or make sure you have a taxi to get home safe, or he’ll be the first to make sure you’re not too cold when you walk outside.

Basically, he fusses over you = he likes you.

*          *          *

That’s it!

You now have a window into the male soul.

While a guy probably won’t not show all these signs of flirting at once, look for three or four of these next time you meet someone new and you’ll soon know his intentions. It’s up to you where to take it from there.

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5 Responses to 10 Subtle Ways He’s Flirting

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  1. Rose says:

    I’m reading this ways of flirting you just numbered, and I’m thinking about what the hell was wrong with me back in the day when I started a relationship with my ex.
    He didn’t do any of those things. Not one!
    How on earth did I fall for him? How sick is that?
    What does that say about me? He was giving me literally nothing and I it took me years to see it.
    It’s so sad how I wasted so much of my time on him and it wasn’t even his foult.

  2. Syd says:

    Omg you guys! I have the cutest story.

    Our lab group was talking about movies… and I said “I like chick flicks” (a little embarrassed)

    My lab partner pointed to his head and said, “I’ll file that away!!!!”

    I hope I have more moments like that in life.

    for now, I’m happy in my cocoon.

    • Syd says:

      Add to this that I had such low self esteem at the time that I second guessed this, until my friend confirmed it for me 2-3 years later

      The thing is, we actually weren’t right for each other in a long term sense but it was SO FLATTERING. I am glad to have had such experiences and if I spent time being thankful, I wouldn’t mind so much to be alone for now.

      Single life is good. I’m on a journey and I am getting to know how I feel inside. Which means recognizing that I’m in pain.

      I can trace it all back to a morning and trauma that patterns itself in a child’s nervous composition and causes effects thereafter.
      It is so radical and also somewhat gratifying to be so empowered to go to the depths of oneself and untangle the roots to grow taller

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