7 Signs You’re In A One Sided Relationship

couple bored at lunch

You ask your friends, “Is this normal?”

It’s not that he’s necessarily a bad guy. But you feel deep in your gut that something is wrong. Like he’s just a passenger along for the ride, and you’re always the one driving the car.

You keep wondering if you’re being over-dramatic, but you can’t help but feel something isn’t right.

Is he being unreasonable? Or are you expecting too much?

Here are the 6 biggest signs of a one sided relationship that let you know 100% if things have gotten out of hand:

1. You always make the date plans

woman texting

That weekend trip you took to go camping? That three course date-night-dinner you cooked and scheduled for him? That vacation for which you looked up all the flights and hotels?

You think back over the past 6 months, and can’t even remember the last time he made a suggestion about something you could do together.

This is one of the first signs of a one sided relationship – when you realise that he doesn’t even try to book things anymore, because you’ve become his personal week planner.

 2. He doesn’t factor you into his life decisions 

You’ve been together for two years, and yet he doesn’t factor you into any of his important life decisions.

Suddenly, he’s moving an hour away without even asking how you feel about it. Then he books a 2-month trip to Asia with his friends. It feels like he’s not even thinking about a future with you, while you’re doing all the heavy lifting.

If he never even asks how you feel about these decisions, it’s definitely a sign that he’s taking you for granted and you need to restore the balance in your relationship.

 3. He never compromises on what he wants

frustrated couple

You change your work plans to try and be more available for him. He always asks you to drive out to his place on a Friday night.

Whenever something even slightly costs him time or money, he suddenly doesn’t want to do it.

This could be due to an inherent selfishness on his part, or he simply isn’t invested enough in the relationship, but either way, this is a dangerous dynamic to sleepwalk into.

Watch out for him making you feel guilty by complaining about how “busy” or “stressed” he is whenever a decision doesn’t fall in his favour.

4. He always puts his friends above you

Let’s be clear: making time for your friends in relationships is important. But you know that things have gone wrong if your partner always ditches you when a better plan comes along with his buddies instead of you.

Maybe he cancels on that movie date even though you planned it together weeks ago. Or he says he’s too busy to go on a weekend trip, whilst always making time for his friend’s bachelor parties.

Again, friendships are important. But you should be important to him too! At the very least, you ought to be on equal footing with other close people in his life.

5. You’re always the one apologizing and trying to fix things 

woman begging man

Whenever you have arguments, he never sees your side of the story. Even if you bring a minor grievance to his attention he backs you down by calling you a “drama queen” or “high maintenance”.

If you know he’s in the wrong and yet you’re always the one saying sorry, something has gone wrong. Both partners should be able to acknowledge their role in problems and work on fixing them, not constantly make one person as the source of every issue.

6. He keeps you distant from his personal life

He keeps you away from his parents, even after years of dating. He never invites you to a party with his friends. He stays vague and distant whenever you ask him about work.

Meanwhile, you’re always finding ways to bring him into your world.

If this happens, it’s a sign that a guy is trying to keep you at arms length and wants to have things on his own terms.

When a guy truly cares about you, he should want to introduce you to the people close to him and let you into his inner circle (even if it happens gradually).

7. He stops trying to impress you

Perhaps the biggest sign of all: when a guy just isn’t trying anymore.

You make an effort to do fun things, look your best, and show him affection, but in return he simply takes care of his own needs and never thinks about ways to please you.

All couples have a period where both partners relax a bit, but it should never get to the point where he isn’t making an effort to bring passion and thoughtfulness into the relationship.

If he stops thinking about your needs, a one sided relationship could be your future.

girlfriend annoyed with lazy man


So there we have it: 7 signs that things have gone out of balance and you need to stand up for your place in the relationship.

When it comes to how to fix a one sided relationship, the most important part is to decide on exactly what’s gone wrong, and communicate calmly but firmly where you think things are out of balance. Try and be specific and tell him you’re interested in discussing what you can both do differently from now on to make it better.

If he doesn’t accept any responsibility or try to improve things, it’s probably time to move on to someone who makes you more of a priority.

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7 Responses to 7 Signs You’re In A One Sided Relationship

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  1. Alison says:

    I don’t even know what mine wants. He never keeps promises to me, telling me he will leave work early (say 4pm) yet he never walks in the door before 9pm every time, or says he will fix something and never ever does. I need to go away with college for a class and he’s looking at booking into the same hotel so he can be there too, and when he’s away he wants to sneak me in so I can be there when he’s done??
    Whines about how ill he feels all the time and then gets upset because I dont jump on him (if I found that sexy I’d be hanging around in hospitals!). He never makes date plans and I feel like he’s just impossible to please!

  2. Vidhi says:

    This is completely right, my boyfriend always treating me this way, and I am the one who always asking for fix things. His life’s own priority is always first. His privet life is hidden and mine is dedicated to him. Life seems suck sometimes, but when its long time love always demands to make compromise, what can be done. I am working independent woman, but still not enough for him. There is always something missing between. :'(

  3. April says:

    This article explains exactly how it is now in my current relationship. I was a very strong, successful, independent woman and I let this new guy into my life and I’m sitting here 3 years later wondering what happened. He was chasing me and I kept telling him our relationship wouldn’t work. He wouldn’t stop and went on and on how we are soul mates (I didn’t believe in this before meeting him), he would tell me he has never met anyone so amazing, how he would marry me tomorrow, he told me he loved me right away. He was the most charming person and did the sweetest things. After about 4 months of this I fell for his charm. I have never fell this hard in my life. He got me believing we were soul mates. I’m a very genuine, and loyal person that is either all in or all out when it comes to relationships. And I don’t like playing games. So I was all in, ready to get married as he promised, but as soon as he saw that he had me wrapped around his pinky finger he went the opposite direction. He was no longer sweet, He told me he had to put me down verbally because so many people tell me I’m kind and amazing. He started to do what he wanted, when he wanted, which made me try harder. It was a gut wrenching experience and very hard to go through. I became afraid to lose him and my self esteem tumbled. Now our relationship seems to be similar to a friends with benefits situation and I want out, but I still cling to the memories of when he was sweet and kind, hoping that it will go back to that. Will it ever go back to being like that? I sometimes just want him to say its over, but he won’t let me go. He helped me out of a difficult situation early on in our relationship and I feel I owe him loyalty because of that. I feel stuck, trapped and frustrated.

    The more kind and sacrificial I am the worse it becomes. Am I just attracting Narcissists? Or if you are genuine, caring, and kind, do all men eventually take it for granted and become more selfish? Do you have to become someone you are not to hold onto lasting, good relationships?

    • Mona says:

      April, just looking at the way you speak I can tell you are Amazing. I feel really sad reading your post because I think you are worth waaaay more than that. He is taking you more than for granted and I truly think he dosen’t deserve you. If he really knew your worth he would still do the same thing and treat you the way he used to. The most important thing we are given in life is the capacity to make choice by ourself.. Did you had a gun pointed on his head when he helped you with your issue ? Probably not, i doubt it, it was his personal choice to help your at this time and it is really kind from him but will you stay unhappy all your life with him because you feel you have to give him something back for this ? To all the girls reading this post I stayed 4 years with a guy who told me every time I craked which mean EVERY month he loved me so much and didn’t want to lose me, he told me each time he was going to make some effort to keep me and guess what after crying and wondering what i was doing wrong for 4 years, I reconnected with myself, I knew my worth, I took my guts and I left and you know what ? 4 years from this now he is still doing nothing with his life and I met someone worth spending my time and energy. You all need to be true to yourself and know your value because if you don’t value yourself, unfortunately, no one is gonna do it for you. You all deserve better. Hopefully this will motivate you a little more to do what is truly best for you.

  4. Madusha perera says:

    Oh my God this is exactly what happened in my relationship.. and finally he left me without telling me the real reason.. and here I am guessing what went wrong.. I don’t know what to do now.. when will this pain end..

    • Jayde says:

      Where you went wrong is that you did it all. That’s a huge mistake, one I’ve made myself, more than once. I do, and then sit back and wait for some sign of reciprocity. I use metrics to measure things. This keeps ME from over giving (which I have a tendency to do) and also ensures that my outlook is objective (results/data) instead of subjective (my feelings/thoughts). Men need space to be men. This means you must leave room for him to operate his strengths as a man. If he doesn’t step into that space and rise to the challenge, he’s either 1) a boy and not a mature man or 2) he’s not into you.

  5. Helen says:

    Purchased how to keep the guy , but right now my main issue is I don’t react well to critiques or suggestions on what he doesn’t like, that is wrong of me but also feel his critiques are exaggerated . I don’t know think he’s upset that o got upset from the last one but I tried to keep as calm as possible and as always let him know I arrived safely to my house after leaving him in the usual loving way I do but the text back was just polity but not his usual and we haven spoken since this was last night . I don’t know what to do or what to say any advise

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