jQuery.validator.addMethod("inf_field_Phone1", function(value, element) { // no phone number is a good phone number (the field is optional) if (value.length == 0) { return true; } // if the phone number field is not empty, it has to follow the fixed format if(!/^33 \(0\)\d \d\d \d\d \d\d \d\d$/i.test(value)) { // ten digits starting with zero if (/^0(\d)(\d\d)(\d\d)(\d\d)(\d\d)$/.test(value)) { value = value.replace(/^0(\d)(\d\d)(\d\d)(\d\d)(\d\d)$/, "33 (0)$1 $2 $3 $4 $5"); $(element).val(value); // also update the form element return true; } } return /^33 \(0\)\d \d\d \d\d \d\d \d\d$/i.test(value); }, 'Please enter your phone number in the following format: 33 (0)1 23 45 67 89'); Stephen Hussey, Author at Get The Guy

It’s Not “Weird” To Ask For What You Want…

Stephen Hussey

I spent the last month on tour with Matt. And one thing that amazed me was how many women on tour told me that they want to get a guy to call more. Or at all. 

To which I would reply: 

“Why don’t you ask?”

The answer, of course, was: “That would be weird”, or “I don’t want to be desperate”. 

This is to my mind one of the biggest problems we face in dating. Call it a lack of confidence, unassertiveness, or just trying to ‘play the game’, but so many of us are guilty of avoiding saying what we want for a fear of not being chill enough. 

This doesn’t just happen with getting a guy to call more. It also happens with:

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5 Things Everyone Should Learn To Be A Better Boyfriend or Girlfriend

Stephen Hussey

We’ve all been told the important stuff that helps a relationship work in the long-run:

  • Kindness 
  • Respect
  • Clear and compassionate communication

But there are also other little skills that make a big difference.

Things that our partner may not even be able to vocalize, but that deep down in their subconscious they are eternally grateful for and that keep the relationship working and make us No.1 in their books. 

Cultivate these skills and your name will be on its way to becoming an ill-judged impulsive tattoo on someone’s bicep in no time: 

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Don’t Get Into A Relationship Before You Read This…(Or: How To Be Single)

Stephen Hussey

Single. Dating. “Friends-with-benefits”. Coupled.

People like to tell us that one state is desirable over another. And yet, 10 years of working with people in their relationships has taught me that it’s possible to feel wildly fulfilled or totally miserable in just about ANY state between flying solo and a committed relationship.

But that’s not what we’re told.

The cultural story tells us: “Your life will finally make total sense when you meet the right person.”

Actually, it’s even worse than that. It says:

“Get a relationship, or else your life won’t have meaning.” 

Yikes.

This is why being single can be extra tricky, especially for women, who face far greater pressure to prove their worth by “locking down” a steady relationship by age 30ish. 

The cultural narrative tells us that all roads must eventually lead to a relationship, rendering singledom as a kind of purgatory abound with lonely humanoid atoms, hovering past one another until they finally get paired up and can live the rest of their lives in blissful duality.

Well, fuck that. 

I don’t have a dog in this fight. Being in a relationship can be incredible. But being single is also AMAZING and gets taken for granted way more often.

But to do single right, you need to avoid the traps that lead to dating burnout, bitterness, or a feeling like you’re waiting for connection to come and finally give your life purpose.

Here’s how:

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Attractive Conversation Habits The Person Sitting Next To You Will Thank You For

Stephen Hussey

It’s getting harder to be good company in 2019.

Your friend has great stories and witty one-liners, but you also have a smartphone. 

It’s a constant battle to resist pulling up social media accounts and checking halfway through your coffee to absorb all of their colourful temptation, dropping your head and parsing through profiles like a catatonic scrolling zombie. 

Maybe you’ve noticed yourself doing this but, hey, you’re getting away with it! No-one has complained yet, right?

Except, there are complaints. We just don’t hear them. 

Most people find it too awkward to pull us up on our annoying habits. They choose to avoid the ugly confrontation which requires them to say, “hey, can you put that away and talk to me while we eat?”. Or they feel worried we’ll snap at them if they do bring up our zoning out in the middle of meals to swipe through a dating app. 

Instead, we’ll just stop getting asked out for lunch, and soon enough, drop off their diary entirely as they decide to ditch us for better company. 

But, aside from checking our phone less, what are other ways to be better in conversation?

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Learning From The 3 Biggest Regrets Of My 20’s…

Stephen Hussey

I’m not one for endlessly looking back at the past. 

Of the mixed grab-bag of traits I inherited from my Dad, one ability I’m happy to possess is a tendency to quickly move on from what can’t be changed and instinctively look ahead.

I’m much more interested in where I am now, not where I’ve been.  

And yet, I do find it instructive to learn from what I’ve gotten right and wrong over the years. Looking at one’s habits and mistakes from a decade ago gives you perspective on (a) how far you’ve come, and (b) things you might still need to work on. 

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If You Feel “There Aren’t Enough Great People” For A Relationship…

Stephen Hussey

In a new video this week, Matt and I spoke about our top 5 dating myths.

And one of them was, “there aren’t enough great people out there”. 

It was fascinating the read the comments in response to this point. Both men and women replied with the same accusations towards the other.

The specific comments I won’t quote verbatim, but the general tenor goes along the lines of:

  • “You’re wrong. Men don’t try anymore.” 
  • “Women want only perfection and won’t settle for anything less. It’s impossible.”
  •  “You should see some of the crappy dates/rejections I’ve had. Where are all the good people?” 

I don’t doubt the sincerity of these comments. I have been through the treadmill of single life. I’ve seen behind the curtain of the ugly dating world too. 

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Why Losing Respect Kills Relationships

Stephen Hussey

Do you know any couples who appear to be just coasting in their relationship?

Or, more alarmingly, a couple that appear to be riding down a steadily declining slope of romance and passion towards thinly veiled indifference (or even contempt?)

What you’ll probably notice is that, even if on some level these couples love one another, they show signs of constant disrespect.

Why? Because respect isn’t the same as love.

Love is, “I need you. I want what’s best for you.”

Respect is something like, “I admire what you do and value what you say”. 

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“Dating Burnout” Is OK…If You Don’t Let It Define You

Stephen Hussey


Here are the two most common causes of dating burnout:

(a) You go into dating with unrealistic expectations (“the next guy I like better be THE ONE”)

(b) You keep choosing the wrong things (going on dates with guys you’re only 50% interested in, spending too much time messaging on Tinder, not enjoying other parts of your life)

I hear from women all the time who have lost hope. They complain about how men can’t grow up. They get cynical and tarnish everyone with the same brush. 

And yet, we know these things can’t be true:

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Annoying Verbal Habits + How To Lose Them

Stephen Hussey

Have you ever been forced yourself listened to a recording of your own voice in conversation? Or watched a video of yourself public speaking?

If you have, it’s equivalent to peering under your skin through a microscope for the first time and cringing in horror at the bacteria festering inside.

You’ll see awkward gestures, verbal ticks, and annoyingly frequent habits you have that make you wonder for a moment how no-one has ever mentioned them before. ‘Have people been aware of this my entire life?’Is that how they see me??’

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Don’t Let Your “Fatal Flaw” Ruin Your Relationships

Stephen Hussey

worried woman

You won’t struggle in 2019 to find lots of insecurity porn.

Scroll through Instagram and you’ll see we live in a bizarre age of both ever-inflating narcissism, yet also a growing movement of people exposing their worst, most unpleasant flaws and saying, “this is who I am, broken and messed up. Accept me”.

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