There’s a fatal mistake people make when planning a first date…
It was the root of every awkward date you’ve ever been on, and can actually make you come off as desperate in his eyes.
The solution couldn’t be simpler, and it’s something you can employ on your very next date. Enjoy!
45 Replies to “#1 Rule For A Perfect First Date”
I dunno. I usually don’t go on dates with someone I don’t already feel some attraction to. Sometimes. I do leave an option to extend a date if it’s going well, but that can be harder if a date ends late.
I’m a planner! Virgo! So I don’t know if I have the spontaneity required for this plan. And I’ve never left a date early. I wanted to once but I just keep giving the guy a chance. How I go into first dates is such a different thought process. It’s so much work for my brain to have men continually jump through little benchmarks for me. I know it works for men, but it’s really exhausting for me to do. I do do it, but I sometimes I just want to relax and eat or relax and have the drink and not think this much. Sigh.
A – I understand about wanting to relax and enjoy date. If you and date getting on well and if he’s got anything about him he’ll suggest another venue and make sure you feel happy in his company. It’s not all down to you!
The great thing about today is we have smartphones so you don’t have to think about it before just find things you both like to do and then find a location via you phone
So there was more but it didn’t post :(
THEN I said Or you can just plan it out and hope it goes as planned. I’m a dork when it comes to planning if it doesn’t go right I freak…sometimes so I just don’t plan all the time. I hope that made sense cause it did in my head
Brilliant. Having a second stage in my mind would also make me feel like I have something to measure this guy with during the conversation: is he fun enough to go do this next thing with?
I totally agree with Matthew! & it actually really works!
On the first date I went on with my current boyfriend, we were finding it hard to arrange to meet on at a date & time that suited us both. So I eventually agreed to meet up with him before I went on to a party. Even though I was attracted to him, I really didn’t know him and I wasn’t sure about him, so it have me an easy exit plan if I needed it & time to decide if I even liked him enough to meet-up with him again! We had a great time but as I wasn’t totally sure about him, I didn’t invite him to the party :) Even though that was an option. And by doing this, I think it left him wanting to meet-up more as he knew he would have to invest time & energy into seeing me as I was not going to automatically give him my whole evening just because he was super hot!
Almost 6 months on and everything is great! He is still super hot, and as I’ve discovered, has a great personality to match :)
So I would say take on board what Matthew says as when you put it to practice you’ll see it actually works! ;)
Ya a like that…. like a dating chess match!!! Check! oh no, check mate! Haha, but yes and thank you!!! Planning ahead is such a good idea, and would be less stressful. If you get bored at place A, and want to keep spending time with your guy… you still have option B & C :)
Great advice. I have too many times been in a situation where I wanted to leave during dinner but felt obligated to stay and therefore did not enjoy what would have been good food at a great restaurant. In my day, having a guy take you to dinner would normally have been a first date. This idea is sooooo much better. An old dog CAN learn new tricks. Thanks!
Great video, Matt. (You are so sensible :)
My best date worked out like this and I didn’t even do it on purpose. 1st we went for a walk then as things progressed we decided to stop for dinner, then towards the end when we still wanted to spend time together he showed me some of his antiques collection at his apartment. It was an unusual date, but one of the best I ever had.
This makes complete sense to me. I am trying the online thing, and I rarely meet a guy for more than coffee at first. I don’t want to reserve a whole evening for someone I might not be able to talk to, or who I know will only ever be in the “friend-zone”. (and let’s face it, if the expectation is for the man to pay, then why should he invest in someone who may not even like him?) If a guy pressures me for our first date being dinner, then that’s a red flag, and I might not bother to meet him at all.
(not that I am a dating expert, by any means)
I love Matthew’s advice … it makes so much sense.
Thanks Matthew great dating advice which is clear and to the point. Thanks a bunch. Please keep the videos coming. Regards
Yeah! Great advise Matt. I did this on a first date with a guy. It was kind of in reverse as I met him and his friends spontaneously for drinks as we kept missing each other and then he invited me to dinner off the cuff. I actually got him aside and asked if he wanted to part at this point—I didn’t want to and neither did he. We had what I thought was a great time but then his neighbors showed up and he didn’t introduce me AT ALL. It was then I knew I wouldn’t be seeing him again. But then he sent out some crazy mixed signals kissing me quite possessively and holding my hand like I might leave him. When I sent out flirty feeler texts to test the waters (one on Saturday and one on Sunday) after the date, he didn’t get back to me for a week and only to say he unintentionally wasn’t responding. So I intentionally got rid of his numbers and initial emails. The problem? I really had a strong initial connection to this guy. My take away? I now know I like a man who is protective/respectful of me and who is honest about his time. I also now know I don’t like someone who is all hearts and flowers but is more take charge. So I consider the date a win.
Looooooooveeeeeee it!!! Thanx matt!! Happy Sunday! =)
It you do not drink, go get yogurt. So glad that I don’t drink, I’d probably have more drama in my life.
What are some good risk free, easy get away things to do on a first date besides getting a drink or coffee?
Why so negative? Escape plan?
This is not a winning attitude Mat.
I am sorry but you are putting fear in my head!
I am going out for dinner I was actually excited about it now I am worried.
I wish you had said some positive things instead.
We met in London once.
I am a guy working on the other side, helping men get out and meet lovely women. Being in dating industry in Australia for years.
I sometimes watch your videos because most of the times they make great sense. What has always made you unique is your positivity and amazing go getter attitude.
Women specially 30+ already have enough doubts when it comes to dating. They don’t need more my man. Past experiences makes a lot of 30+ females sensitive to dating and most constantly look for reasons why “this guy” would not be a good fit.
Yes dates can be awkward because we they know each other at first. I mean they call it first date for a reason right? Who knows each other at first? That uncomfortable period will pass if everyone understands it’s normal. Wouldn’t be a better idea to instruct them how to lead the conversation and understand things might be awkward at first but you can change that easily? Let’s give guys a break and bring the 2 sides together instead of placing fear and doubt in their minds. Let’s encourage each other to get out and do things and enjoy no matter what.
The world can be a nasty, negative fearful place if we let it. But it won’t be because of people like me and you uncle Mat.
Love you brother keep it positive I always encourage every female friend of mine to subscribe to you.
Peace & love
It is easy to be negative today!
First dates are always weird for a bit. They get better. I actually like dinner dates because I have somehting to do and we dont have to talk all the time.
I like dinner dates too, but actually I rather driks for a first date. It is less serious, easy to get away if you want to and there more moviment around you both.
Once I went to first date to the cinema with a guy that seemed really nice days before. But since the beginning of the date I realized that I didn’t want to be with him and it was really awful that I had to watch the movie, he was tryind to get my hand… I appreciate this video very much!!!!
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