15 Things He Secretly Loves About You That He Doesn’t Tell You

Stephen Hussey

Men are in love with things you never think about.

Although men are frequently advertised as the gender that suffers from being serial runner-up in the Communicate-Your-Goddamn-Feelings-Awards, men have a volcano of passion and emotion in boiling away in their little Grinch hearts, no matter how much they pretend it’s not the case.

Men fall in love with body parts, cute little mannerisms, and adorable habits you probably never even realized he obsesses about on a daily basis.

Sometimes in a working day he’ll stare off into space to recall a particular moment from last night (and not always the smoking hot foreplay, though of course that has its special place in his fantasy bank) – just a memory of what makes you the woman he can’t imagine his life without.

When you suddenly get an adorable text message from your guy in the middle of the day, he’s probably having one of these moments.

Here are just a few of those things he can’t get enough of:

1. The excitement on your face when he says “shall we order dessert?”

2. The way you push your nails through the back of his hair sometimes when you share a passionate kiss.

3. How you make him feel like a hero for making you a cup of tea when you’ve had a rough day at work.

4. The way you get giddy about popcorn when you go to the movies.

5. When you whisper to him how sexy he is in a room full of his friends and family.

6. That you care about looking incredible when you go out together, and take extra time on your hair and make-up, even though he tells you you’re beautiful anyway.

7. How excited you are to get warm in bed with him.

8. The soft part on the back of your neck that he kisses while you’re asleep.

9. How tight you squeeze his hand when you walk into the party together.

10. The way you turn over to cuddle him in your sleep. And then jump on him in the morning. Then when he tries to get up, you pull him under the covers, kiss him, and tell him he’s not allowed to leave the bed today.

11. How strangely hot it is to watch you eat cereal first thing in the morning. And that sexy “morning smell” all women mysteriously seem to have.

12. When you tell him how safe he makes you feel.

13. How incredible you smell before you walk out the door to go out to meet your friends.

14. When you text him randomly to tell him how special he is and how you can’t wait to be home together tonight.

15. The way you completely admire him and tell him to go for it, even when he feels the world pushing against him.

These traits only come from someone who is (a) caring, (b) lives in the moment, and (c) is her authentic self.

Someone who is caring is able to make her man feel incredible.

Someone who lives in the moment is spontaneous, able to enjoy the present and has fun now, instead of living in the past or future.

Someone who is authentic doesn’t need to play a character – she is comfortable in her own skin and allows her true self to emerge around the man she loves.

When you’re guarded, or try too hard to play a character that isn’t who you really are, you deprive the relationship of those real moments that make it incredible.

A guy doesn’t fall in love with the mask you present to the world; he falls in love with who you are when all of that disappears.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *    *

Stephen Hussey helped co-write the Get The Guy book and is a wealth of knowledge on dating and relationships.

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(Photo: Nathan Congleton)

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48 Responses to 15 Things He Secretly Loves About You That He Doesn’t Tell You

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  1. Nichole says:

    Stephen, ever since I have read this article, I have been in wonder of what I smell like in the morning #11 “And that sexy morning smell all women mysteriously seem to have”. Not every day I think of this, but enough to drive me bonkers.

  2. Nadica says:

    I totally agree with everything said above. But what if you are all that, and you were doing all that – and he leaves you with an excuse that he is very good in judgement and knowing that the way he reacts and the way you are, you both are going to reach a point in your relationship in future where you will fight? So he left because he was scared of giving a chance of knowing you more and being happy with you? What then?

  3. Gina says:


  4. Melissa Ryan says:

    Absolutely gorgeous article Stephen. Thank you so much for sharing the male perspective – I love it

  5. khosimah says:

    I loved and appreciate to read this kind of article because it does help to see stuff which we were doing but did not realised it and this somehow makes me smile and laugh at myself because in reality I’m still single.

  6. Julie MacKenzie says:

    I loved this article Stephen…Hit the nail on the head…Again… ;) <3

  7. Courtney says:

    Stephen, you’re a great writer and this article provides valuable insight. Unfortunately, there have been two separate instances in the past year that I’ve opened my heart to dating, let myself be vulnerable, and had an immense amount of fun… It’s too bad those two individuals didn’t feel the same about me.

    I’ve excitedly smiled at the mention of dessert, got lost in the moment of a passionate kiss, felt absolute comfort waking up beside them, shared my quirks, randomly gave kisses in an elevator before the door opened, openly complimented them (and truly meant what I admired about them).

    And to not avail, they appear interested for 2 months and then leave. Every. Single. Time. I guess my authentic self was meant to walk this journey alone.

    • Jimmy says:

      No one is meant to walk alone. There’s somebody out there for everyone. Some times patience and time are your best friend. Your special someone will come along and when they do it will be when it was meant to be.trust me it’s frustrating. Patience and time.

  8. Joesy says:

    Wow!!! Never even thought about any of these. Thanks Stephen for sharing these.

  9. Julie MacKenzie says:

    I just love this Stephen….It just makes me miss being with a special someone…Thanks for this article…;) I am a hopeless romantic…& always will be….<3

  10. Leakhena says:

    I’m melting and speechless, even blushing from those sweet words (•^_^•). Yes, it’s the little things that matters.

  11. Scot says:

    You forgot to add the way she holds my hand steady when I light her cigarette. I absolutely love, love love that. That tenderness melts my heart and is hotter than the flame I’m offering her.

  12. tigress866 says:

    This article deserves my favorite
    Brit form of applause:

    Well done you!! ✨

  13. Aj says:

    That is very up lifting to me. Very positive message that we women sometimes take for granted. Your are a inspiration to me. This is going to put men in a different light. A light that women shut off. This help me to see the sensitive side of my man.

  14. amberr says:

    Thanks for sharing such a beautiful info ….but i have a ques … i love a guy since 6 years . He says he loves me but his family especially his mother have a misunderstanding about me so that guy tells me we can have a relation try live a beautiful present but marriage can be difficult bcz of his family ….what can i do in this situation , should i try to make him commit , are there any chances

  15. Allison says:

    I love this article. Every single line.

  16. One two three four says:

    A guy doesn’t fall in love with the mask you present to the world; he falls in love with who you are when all of that disappears.
    –/ love this !!!!!

  17. Kikis says:

    This great. Thats so much for sharing Stephen.

  18. Lisa Young says:

    So Beautifully Written, I love it

  19. Anais says:

    What if I am comfortable in her own skin all the time and allow most people to see my true self often. This tends to get me in a lot of trouble :( and it bugs me.

    • Lisa Young says:

      That sucks, I’m sorry some People make you feel that way. I know that feeling and it’s horrible, but the People that are meant to be in your Life will stick around and accept you for who you Are no matter what, I promise you that

  20. jennica says:

    be my bf ! :P
    Thanks for this article. Tells me that such little gestures are very well appreciated. I was in doubt he even noticed them until I read this. xoxo

    • Lisa Young says:

      I don’t think all Guys do to be honest. It takes an Attentive and Appreciative Guy to cherish those little things, the distracted and Sleazy ones won’t because they’re too busy checking out other Girls and taking you for Granted

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      They are noticed ;)

  21. Elena says:

    Hi Steve! Amazing article as always!!!

    I just wonder that if guys are so sensitive to little cute elements of body language, mime and expression of emotions, does that mean that an uncontrolled expression of anger that he saw once can turn him off forever? What kind of gesturing and facial expression that scare guys off should be excluded or limited in women’s habits?

    Thank you Steve for another piece of enlightenment!

    • Darla says:

      Great questions. See link below, I hope this helps.

      https://youtu.be/PkM_TwutWKo Here’s a good vid. on micro expressions. Elena, I’d say contempt is a big one. It gives away so much when you are talking to someone. We’ll see if Stephen agrees.

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      I’m not sure one moment can turn a guy off FOREVER, it’d have to be pretty terrible! I think the same habits are a turn off to everyone – nastiness, uncontrolled anger, needy behaviours, toxic moods, being a negative influence, etc.

      Thanks for commenting Elena! x

  22. linda says:

    If you wake up in the middle of the night ,he said he loves you, I didn’t say it back. I wasn’t sure if he was a sleep talking or he ment it.

    • Pixie says:

      I just wanted to say good for you. So many people say I love you just because the other person said it. It’s nice to see that someone didn’t just say it back.

  23. Darla says:

    Is anyone else turned on? Yes, I’ll take all of this please! I had no idea guys might be thinking these things. Please do tell us these things every once an a while… Either way, it’s a lovely way to think. :)

  24. Wave says:


  25. Fruzsina says:

    Hi Stephen,

    I loved this article but it also made me a bit sad as l’m single and really miss these wonderful little moments and miss being caring and loving towards my man..

    Is there any chance to write an article about how to get a chance with guys when you don’t have much chance to meet them during your everydays..?

    I mean l’m having fun with friends, very independent and have my own great life to lead…however, l’m a bit scared of getting so used to be single and independent, that it will be hard to adapt to be with someone again-if you know what l mean…

    Reading this article l feel l’m really missing out on something wonderful and l would love to get back into it again.

    Thanks for reading it Stephen, you truly are giving us courage and hope!:))


  26. neethuz says:

    That was very romantic…loved it …8 on 10…Thank you dear;)

  27. Terry says:

    GOOD STUFF!! Seriously, this guy has changed EVERYTHING in the dating world for me!! He is a fricken genius…listen to him and go out and be brave! It’s worth it!

  28. Belen says:

    This is exactly what I needed today! Thank you so very much!

  29. Harleen Dahiya says:

    Super cute, and super practicle

  30. Arianna says:


    You’re back with a bang! I adore this blog! It is very sweet. I am glad you are pointing these things out. It irks me when people say men are not sentimental beings. Love is a beautiful thing. :) As Plato says, “at the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.”

    Also, Authenticity, ftw! ;)


    • Stephen Hussey says:

      Love the quote. Thanks so much for the kind comments Arianna – people who say men are not sentimental frankly don’t know men very well lol

      We don’t express as much, but we notice more than you think.

      • Arianna says:

        It is one of my favorite quotes. I thought about it during another post of yours, but didn’t say anything. I am glad I didn’t, because it worked so much better with this one. :) I agree, 100%.
        You’re welcome!

        Have a fabulous day!


    • Lisa Young says:

      “At the touch of Love, Everyone becomes a Poet”

      I LOVE THAT QUOTE!!! Thank you so much

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