Right now I’m in New York and have just been back on The Today Show! Today’s segment is called ‘The New Rules Of Dating’, in which we cover Chasing, Dating and Texting.
From the video…
Can women chase?
I’m all for women being ‘proactive’, but the word ‘chase’ doesn’t work for me, and isn’t inline with the mindset of a high-value woman.
Even for guys, the mindset of being a ‘chaser’ conjures images of the creepy stalker type who are only after one thing.
Rather than being ‘gone after’, what a guy really wants is a woman who will put her value out there and make it clear to determine compatibility.
3 criteria that make a great date
A great first date…
1) Is time flexible
You want the activity you’re doing to have the flexibility of being a 20 minute date (if things are terrible and you want to escape), through to a 3 hour date if you’re having a great time and want to be able to carry on.
2) Allows for proximity
Choose something that will allow the two of you to build in touches and physical tension. A dinner wouldn’t be my first choice, but if you find yourself at one, be sure to sit side-by-side, not sat across from each other.
3) Is externally focused
If you went for a walk along a river, the surroundings would take the pressure off in allowing you to look around and see what’s going on. This not only gives you more to talk about, it makes silence in conversation more relaxed.
Texting is the perfect way to flirt
Texting allows you to say things you’d never be able to get away with on the phone. For instance, telling someone “You looked gorgeous today”. Texting allows you to be cheeky, playful, and make statements that don’t necessitate a reaction.
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Question of the day:
What did you do on your most memorable date? Back in London, my favourite thing was to go for a long walk along the Thames. Let me know yours in the comments!
I would love a walk along Thames, with a guy who have not lost his value and kindness.
The most memorable date was a date I had on my friend’s wedding. It was a Christian Wedding, and I am glad that he opened up and shared his experience with me. However sadly we did not work out.
Followed by so many incidents, I some times thought it is impossible to find someone ideal. You could not hope the other one react exactly as what you expect him to be. And more and more, I understand to love is to give, and accept the other person as he who he is.
My most memorable date was a day at Disneyland. I was 20 years old. I married him less than a year later (and, no, we’re not Mormon, lol, just fell in love) and this October we will have been married nine years! Our twins just turned three and we are still madly in love. Commitment is not easy sometimes, but when you buckle down and face the hard stuff without running away the rewards are endless.
What an awful interview! These women seem to think they are funny..I really feel for you having to sit through such utter crap.
So, I’m not gonna say it was the best date (it wasn’t), but it sure was a memorable one…
I was walking down the street with the guy and talking about a lot of stuff we liked. I surprised him by telling him, that I sometimes go out with my friends for some cocktails. He told me that I look like such a good girl and that that’s why it surprised him so much. We went past a bar and he said why don’t we go in for a cocktail. The music in the bar was SO loud, we could barely hear each other. When the waiteress came, he said that I should order for the both of us. I decided to order him my favorite cocktail (Cuba Libre) and his for me (Tequila Sunrise). But it didn’t go as planed, because the waitress didn’t hear me well (damn you loud music!). She brought the guy the right cocktail, but she brought me a TEQUILA (why would a girl order a much stronger drink for herself than for the guy?)! I decided I’d drink it anyway and he was even more surprised. After that he offered to drink his cocktail together, so we did it. The table was very small, so our legs were touching and we were sitting across from each other (in this case I do recommend it – it helps break the touch barrier). After we drank the cocktail we went outside and said our goodbyes.
Basically, the date could have gone better, but because of so many different things it didn’t. It definitely was a funny and fun one though. And the best part about it? It was our second date. :/ Oh, so I don’t forget: The guy took me out on a few more dates after that, so something must have gone right. :)
:O Wow! Sorry Matt, you had to sit through this :(
Matt, I value your inputs always and it was awesome to see you next to Jean Carroll, because I believe people like her bring a certain color that is needed. I laughed my ass off. :))))))))
☆☀☆Dear Matthew Hussey☆☀☆
Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu for your new blog & video :)
Excellent :)
A Long walk along the Thames :)
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww :)
100% agree :)
I believe long walks are one of the best things you can do on a date :)
Loooooooove long walks :)
On my most memorable date I went on a long walk as well :)
Always love to go on long walks with people I love :)
100% agree :)
If you love, you don’t need to chase :)
After all, to love a person is the best :)
I wish you all the best walks in life dear Matthew Hussey :)
Susanne
The guy i was eyeing for a while took me for coffee and then to his place. In front of the house, during christmas time, his family and him always make an igloo for his nephews. So he took me into the igloo! And we kissed there!
Museum dates are good. I’m particular to art. I agree with a setting which provides things to discuss and something to focus on when there is silence. I personally love silence but some find it uncomfortable.
Oh I went to a lounge once that had silent movies playing on a wall. Again, atmosphere conducive to conversation AND gaps in it.
Hi! For some reason, the top video is an empty space and the second video doesn’t play. I’d really love to see the videos. Could you resend it pls?
Thanks, love.
My most memorable date was when I took him at night to a pond out in the middle of the woods. I didn’t tell him where we were going. All he knew was that it was a beautiful place I wanted to show him. We didn’t have a flashlight, so I held his hand and guided him down the path through the woods. It was fun to be the one in the lead, bringing him to the surprise ending. Then we came out of the woods and saw the moonlight reflecting off the pond before us. We sat under a big tree and gazed out at the shining water and talked awhile, then lay down and snuggled together. It was very intimate, even though we were in ‘the great outdoors.’
Hi Matt,
Thanks for the tips. I didn’t like that much this interview, but not because of you (you were great btw), but E. Jean Carroll is in some other page!!
Fortunately, you tood up for your beliefs and made the interview interesting!!
Regarding the flirt through text, I think its a great tool, because it let you keep in touch with that special person, and saying whatever you both want, without nobody noticing it. I love when people dont understand how I became close friend with “X” person, and that is because of texting which gives us an space for only the two of us.
And once again .. I love your modern outfit :)
If you´re into painting or something creative, it´s great to go with your date to one of these places where you can decorate or paint pottery. I did it once with a guy I really liked, and even though it didn´t turn out as I expected, it was relaxed, fun, and there was no pressure on us since we could just chat away as we painted our mugs..
I will be impressed by the quality of information on this site. There are a lot of good resources below. I am sure I will visit this area again quickly.
It is a great movie, and I enjoyed watching it. Thank you Matthew.
However, I do not quite agree that texting is a great way to flirt. I see too many people who start texting and then think that everything and anything should be discussed by text instead of grabbing the phone.
If a man wants to tell me “you looked gteat today”, he can also either tell me the following day on the phone “you looked great yesterday” when we have a phone conversation anyhow.
And what do I gain from texting with a guy who texts me things that he does not dare to say face to face? Then he sits beside me in a restaurant, and I am bored to death because he cannot open his mouth. LOL
I thought we were supposed to get real, to talk and not to stick our nose into the damn smartphone. :-)
Meh. I prefer dinner as a first date…. a meal is a great way to bond with someone and if the meal goes well then we can walk it off or grab some dessert. Save the physical activity for the second and third date. Mainly because physical touch is my primary love language so I don’t give it to just anyone.
but this interview is good stuff.