Is there something you’ve been wanting to do but are worried what other people may think of you?
A trip away? A new hairstyle? A new hobby?
In this week’s video, I give you 3 tricks to help you from having other people’s opinions hold you back. Enjoy!
Hi Matt,
As you asked for comments from those of us who haven’t before I thought I would give it a go. I have avidly followed your advice and found my life taking amazing turns dating and otherwise. However now I have a choice of men I am able to date…..how do I choose? Discovering what I actually want, or who I want is proving to be really difficult. I know I want a partner in crime and companionship, a deep connection on that level, but it is hard to know who that could be when most men show their ‘dating face’ most of the time. Any advice/tips/brutal home truths you have on this topic would be really helpful.
Thanks!
Two years ago my friend and I constantly worked out together and used weights. Today I’m at the gym I’m always very intimidated to go by the weights or ask a stranger to help spot me when I’m alone. I’m scared to look like I don’t know what I’m doing because I haven’t done it in a while. I use hand weight that are in the corner but limit myself because I’m scared people (guys) will judge me. I can hold my own when no one’s around by I get timid when others are nearby watching. I tell myself everyday I’ll try to go my the squat press but chicken out every time.
Hello, I apologize in advance for how long this might be. This guy that I really liked started to work things out. Then a girl from his past, whom he’s always liked, came back into his life and now they’re together. We were intimate a week ago, but aside from that we were really repairing the damage that had been done. I feel so devastated, and I’m not sure whether or not to move on. I told him I needed time to get over him, and he said he understood but he really hopes I’ll stay. He said he really likes me, but he can’t get over his feelings for the other girl. He also said that he cares about me more than any other girl. I’m very confused by the situation, and I’m so hurt. What should I do? Can I even get him back, or is he gone now that this girl he’s always liked is back in the picture?
I mean this in the best way… He’s just not that into you
#Greg Behrendt
You are better than him. You need to tell him you’re not interested in being with a man that can’t commit 100% to you. Go hang out with the girls and show yourself respect then he will maybe wise up and give you the same respect. Don’t give in and be intimate until he meets your expectations of being committe make a list of what your expectations from him are are and also a list of what you deserve in a guy. Maybe he doesn’t meet these things anyway. We tend to get so emotionally attached especially when we’ve been intimate but don’t fall for the same tricks so many women do and look up some of Matthews other videos. He has some great advice for your situation and explains it much better than me. Good luck! Best wishes!
Hey Matt,
I have been following you since the summer when I saw u on the Marilyn Dennis show. I recently watched the videos regarding why a guy breaks up,and his psychology. The first 2 videos gave me back some self esteem after a recent break up and I’m feeling so much better.
Tonight I have watched the above video, and my situation is going back to school for my bachelor degree ot even Masters. I’m a dental assistant but I want to work in finance. My friends and some family have been negative about it telling me not to go back to University so it has been hard. I feel like I don’t have supportive circle sometimes. It makes me feel doubtful, and like I’m not sure I’m making good decisions. I’m always second guessing. I would love to be more confident, and less caring of the opinions of others.
Matt,
What is a single mom to do with no single friends to go out with. I try to go places by myself as much as possible, but sometimes I wish I had a single pal to go places with.
Are you after a single pal, as in a single male? I would suggest you hang out with people you like (not someone you’re trying to create a relationship with), single or not. Sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves to find a guy or develop a relationship, when the reality is if we just learn to enjoy ourselves with other girl friends etc. It may naturally happen that, the guy, will see this fun loving person that he has to get to meet! You aren’t a better person with a man, you’re perfect the way you are and your life needs to be too. Somewhere along the line some guy will see this amazing girl loving and enjoying her amazing life and he’ll fight to be a part of it. Pressuring yourself is the last thing you want to do.
Good luck! Best wishes!
Hey Matt,
I was struggling with this over the weekend. After being very ill for two years and then recovering my outlook on life changed. There was a short list of very important things that I deeply regretted not doing in my life. Especially when I was told I may have to have brain surgery in the future. So at the age of 43 I am pursuing my academic dream and going back to get my MFA in writing. It is something I have always wanted. But I get a lot of slack from my family. They feel it’s frivolous. But what they don’t know is the clarity that one feels when they tell you you’re ill. Possibly terminally. All the BS clears out of your mind and all you see it what’s important. But it still gets to me when they give me a hard time about it. Maybe I should have kept it to myself.
So, I’ve been sort of seeing this guy who has apparently become totally infatuated with me in a very short period of time (guess I’ve done too good of a job using your advice on how to “get the guy”). I find him only mildly attractive but he’s a ton of fun and treats me like a princess. I told him from the beginning that I wasn’t interested in a relationship and certainly not ready for any kind of commitment. However, lately he has become very possessive. He wants to know where I am and who I am with all the time. It’s getting scary. I even caught him stalking me a couple of times. Now, he says he would kill himself if I ever “broke up” with him. How do I get out of this?
I used to care about how others thinking about me too much. But recently, through writing the strengths and flaws (including the one just mentioned) about myself down, I start to face those things and feel more intimate with myself.
I also happened to have a friend sharing his advice with me which is very similar to Matt’s advice. Maybe this is so-called “synchronicity”.
But what ever it is, I am very grateful for knowing Matt, getting into the love life program, and understanding more things outside love life from Matt.
Hope someday meeting you and feeling your inspiring energy in person in one of your live seminar!
Hey Matt! Thanks for your great video! I have been struggling a lot this week with what others think…so your video couldn’t have come at a better time!! My story: (I’m Zoe by the way) and I suffer with epilepsy. A few days ago I had a nasty seizure in the street, I fell forwards onto the ground, and it’s left me with a deep graze on my chin – at the moment concealed by a big plaster. I have 2 dates this week and I started to panic, there was no way on earth I could go out without the plaster on my face! So, I decided to text both guys and say, ‘hey, look, I’ve had an accident this week and have fallen, resulting in injuring my chin (big plaster covering it). So would you prefer to meet when my chin is better?’ The response from both guys I got back was amazing…it was clear neither of them were at all bothered about this! One guy wrote, ‘Hi Zoe, I hope it was nothing serious.
Regarding today’ drinks, well this is up to you. If you do not feel like meeting today then we won’t .
Now, I am not going to make a judgement on you just because you are wearing a plaster. I believe you are more than just a beautiful face.
Anyway, let me know either way.
Thanks’. My reply: ‘Well if it doesn’t bother you then it certainly doesn’t bother me, so let’s just go out and stick to our original plan to meet.’ (That date is tonight – wish me luck! ;-). Perhaps more importantly though, the fact that neither of these guys were in the slightest bit bothered about my plaster has given me soooo much more confidence!!! So, now I’m just going to go out have a great time tonight and not even bother to consider what some stranger might be thinking! :-)) By the way Matt…he just sent me this message…how cute is this…’Yes, that sounds perfect . And by the way, do not worry about not looking at your best. I am coming directly from work; I will not look at my best either’.
This was a great video for starters! 3 really useful points for navigating what you want to do in life and sharing it with others. I am that person that over defends and tries to back things up with knowledge or information on the subject. Next time now I know how to properly defend my thoughts and desires to others. Thanks Matt and Jameson! Please keep posting videos like this. I love learning about how to navigate confidently in life.
Hi Matthew. I have booked a Speed Dating (which takes place this Sunday) in my hometown (Augsburg in Germany). I am really excited to go there but I didn’t tell my best friend about it. I told everyone else I know about it but I didn’t tell her.
Usually, I always tell her anything but I was very disappointed how she reacted when I told her that I watch your videos every week and that you have amazing tips to find and keep a boyfriend. After looking at your page, she said that all of that is just stuff that doesn’t work etc. …
So, I didn’t tell her about going to the Speed Dating. But with the 3 tricks you explained in your video, I got the courage to tell her about it. Thank you soo much and keep doing those videos. I am one of those thousends of people who watch your video every week :)
I’m forwarding this one to my boyfriend (for whom i can totally attribute you to giving me the skills to snagging)because I really think he could benefit from this vid.
Thanks as always, Matt
Thank you so much, i needed this, really thank you so much :)
I have been married for over 14 years, so I guess I got the guy, but I really enjoy the way you convey life and relationships, so I watch your videos. I am so happy to listen to you and the attitude you have towards women and relationships. It gives me warm and fuzzy feelings of hope that my daughter will meet men with such a great attitude towards women. So thank you; well done; keep going. I will keep watching :)
Thank you Matt. I enjoyed your explanation about diffusing energy when the person comes on too strong on you.
I believe it is the opposite when you are trying to convince someone,in that case you have to put in some positive energy to raise the conversation.
It is very useful insight, thank you again
Why is there no closed captioned for this video? I am hard of hearing and cannot read your lips on this video very well. I would buy your products and enjoy it if it was subtitled or close captioned!!! I can’t enjoy it as much as your other hearing people do!!
Thanks Matt,
I was married for over 20 years, with a communication style of attack and defend…a difficult habit to break, but I have gotten much better at it. (BTW, I was the defender).
I have now experienced agreeing with someone who is attacking me, or an idea of mine, and it if interesting to watch their reaction.
It takes them a minute to realize I’m agreeing with them, that’s when I get the look of complete puzzlement…then they try another tactic or angle to get me on the defensive again. Then, once again, I agree, in some form or another… this time, changing the energy of the conversation once and for all.
Your three steps will aid me through my next challenge of eliminating the attack and defend mode of communication FOREVER.
You’re amazing Matt!
Recently I cared too much about what people would say if I told them who I’m going to the last prom with. My date is to be honest handsome and really kind and so on, and most think he’s the perfect date, I do as well, even though he’s one year younger. We have some mutual friends and I’m a little bit afraid of what they would think about me going with him. I have a feeling that they would think it is strange and not really appropriate. I have avoided the subject wile speaking with them, this far, because I don’t want them to ask me.
From now on I think that I should stop care what they would think about it.
Hi just saying I really value these type
Of posts as it’s not about compartmentalising love life and other aspects. It’s all feeds into each other. What I will share is that I have always wanted to have cosmetic surgery because I’m unhappy with my nose in particular. I know this is outside of what you’re talking about somewhat. But there is a real stigma and fear of it in my family. Now I wouldn’t choose to have it but it’s been a concern all my life. I know probably I need to build confidence first before making a decision but I have been guided a great deal by family members wishes all my life and think I sometimes seek out permission for a lot of stuff .
Hi Matt…
I’ve been watching your posts for more than a year now, and they’re always inspiring…
I admitt that i’ve became more confident ever since, and more social…
I always care about my mother opinions (especially those related to travelling alone)… Recently, i’ve got an invitation to austria as a part of a phd scholarship program, and will be travelling nxt week…
This will be a sort of an interview(short period-10days-accompanied with a family member), what i’m worried about now is how to convince my mother if i get accepted (long period 3 years), knowing that in my country it’s not likable for a girl to travel and stay by her own at all…
Wish me good luck :) and thanks a lot for your very inspiring talks!!
All the best!
Mimi