Today we are talking about 3 secrets to making a first date less awkward.
First dates are primed to be awkward.
We’re going out with someone we’ve met for only 5 or 10 minutes usually, perhaps not at all, and so first dates have the potential to be extremely awkward if you don’t set yourself up in the right way.
Here are 3 quick tips to make the whole process smoother and less awkward…
1) Touch early and often
A mistake people often make is that as they don’t know someone well, and because they don’t want to seem too keen, they don’t get at all tactile.
The problem with this in the first part of a date is that the longer you leave it before introducing touch, the more awkward touch becomes.
For a guy, the most pain-staking, horrible scenario is the time when you’ve barely touched the woman you’re with throughout the entire date, and at the end you want to kiss her. This makes the move of only a few centimetres feel like a mountain to climb.
Touch allows for a smoother transition through each stage.
As a woman you have the power to set the tone for this by giving him a hug or a kiss on the cheek when you first see him. This isn’t desperate; it just conveys that you’re someone who’s warm.
2) Don’t sit opposite each other
Sitting opposite one another immediately creates awkwardness. Reason being, when there’s a silence, there’s nowhere to turn (but facing each other).
If you’re sitting adjacent to or next to someone, you can watch the world together.
Now, when there’s a silence, it’s not awkward, it’s just a silence while you’re both looking out to whatever’s in front of you. When you’re ready to restart the conversation, you can turn to your side and carry on.
3) Do something externally focused
I’m going to say this bluntly: The worse you are at conversation, the more external focus you need.
If you’re an amazing conversationalist, you can take someone to the corner of a quiet bar and talk all night, creating an amazing connection.
If you’re someone who’s a little nervous, and you know that it takes a while for you to warm up, you have to do something where there’s external activity. Examples could be a museum or a comedy show, or on a more subtle level it could be something as simple as taking a walk together.
Even if you were sitting on a busy park bench people-watching, this allows you to comment on things outside of yourselves, as opposed to having the sole focus on the two of you and the conversation you’re having.
Let me know how you get on using these tips your next date in the comments below!
8 Replies to “3 Tricks To Make First Dates Less Awkward”
Thats great advice! But I kinda like a bit of awkwardness, I find it charming in a way. Like when I go for a kiss on the cheek and he was going for a hug, I just laugh and I am more at ease weirdly because I’ll think, okay he’s just normal guy.
Follow-up Question to Suggestion #2: I have been dating a lot recently in London and although I am aware of this advice that we should sit next to each other rather than opposite each other, whenever we go to a restaurant, in most cases, the table setting is such that it is impossible to sit next to each other. Most spaces are small in restaurants especially if the reservation is for 2 people, 1) either the table is too small so we cant sit side by side or 2) the table setting is already set up and 3) it can be awkward in the beginning to ask the server to rearrange the table setting and 4) the date might interpret it as being clingy at the outset. P.S. although i have successfully done this in my previous relationship, we always sat next each other whenever we eat out, but that wasnt in london the spaces were bigger and it wasnt always so busy. Thanks a lot Mattew! – From your avid reader
Hi Matthew i’m so so sorry for not leaving a comment so long below.
But to start This I wish you a happy and a Healty 2014 with full of Happiness :D
Maybe i’m 2 days too late but reither late than never right. ;)
I have worked on newyearsday from 4 hour in the Night untill 10 our in the morning. But if i never called to ask them if i couldt help in the Vacation than i never ever know i can ;) so i’m very Proud on myself That i did.
My twinsister Said to me your gonna call in the Vacation if you could work your crazy. Than i Said it’s my own choice haha :P
But now About the Theme. I never ever ever had a date before haha i’m only 16 years old now i have time enough if a boy comes on my way than it’s fine if not That doesn’t matter at all. But i never ever understand why everyone wants so quick a boyfriend it doesn’t make any sense. But Maybe i’m too oldfashion but i’m always stick to my principes That’s is this list.
1. Drinking no alcohol ever ;)
2. No smoking
3. No Lying to other people always be honest.
4. Working hard to get my scholarschip in the bakkery.
Haha i love your blog i hope it contains Forever ;)
I wish you the best this 2014 and your friends and family too ;) and the makers of this site and all the helpers of GetTheGuy as well wish you alotts of love From The Netherlands.
Lovely Greetz Thirza ;D have a Awesome week with a New Fresh start.
much as I respect your advice, I have mixed emotions about touching often and I am sure I do not want to get a kiss from every date I have ever had.
I have had dates where a handshake was more than enough. Besides, some guys have no manners and think they can stick their tongue into my neck right away. No thanks.
I am very much looking forward to a first date this wednesday, and also very grateful for your tips! We’ll see how it goes, and I will come back afterwards for some real response on them. However, I knew this guy some years back, and am not sure of wether to have more physical contact because of that. Any tips on that? Thanks.
Wow, why didn’t i see this like last week? Had the most awkward first date, and did everything you just said wrong. He picked out the most quiet bar ever, we sat opposite of each other all night (which also makes the touching part pretty much impossible btw) and i had nowhere to look when it got awkward.
Not gonna make this mistake again… ever.
Thanks Matt !
Good stuff. These work.
wow. i just went to a movie with a guy and let me just say, the touch early and often strategy works so much. in fact, it was hard to keep our hands to ourselves, thank you so much
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