It’s 2016. So what does that mean?
Well, we are all about to be bombarded with inane advice revolving around some sort of ‘New Year New You’ slogan. Uncharacteristically early alarm clocks will be set. False promises to ourselves will be made. Gyms will overflow. Refrigerators will be emptied of all but foods resembling rabbit-feed. We will knock back our swamp-water coloured concoctions made by our brand new juicer, and engage in the usual list: reading more intellectual newspapers, finally getting organised, devouring all of the books we really must read, all whilst switching off the TV and resolving to find love and travel more this year…
All of which will last, for the majority of people, about 14 days. University of Scranton Research suggests around 8% of people stick to their resolutions. Not a great life expectancy for the new us.
So whilst you are checking your instagram, facebook and any other anti-social networking accounts (if I have just coined that term then it’s my first great achievement of 2016) over the next week, don’t be too intimidated by all the protestations of changes people say they are ready to make – the vast majority of them are talking out of their arses.
The question is how does one get into the 8% who do stick to them?
Here are three quick tips:
1) Get out of the mindset of ‘new beginnings’
Whilst it can be a nice feeling to make January 1st the starting point for all of these new wonderful changes, it quickly becomes counter productive once you break a shiny new habit. The beginning immediately becomes tarnished with failure and we find ourselves looking for the next opportunity to have a fresh start. Instead, learn to identify with the changes you are making. For example:
“I’m (now) someone who on the whole, eats healthily”
“I’m someone who takes risks with people I’m attracted to because I know that ‘possibility’ is more exciting than ‘rejection’ is painful”
“I value organisation and am a person who prioritises it so that my mind and my life can be free of clutter”
These aren’t merely the foundation of new habits, they are new identities. When you break a habit, having the underlying identity is what re-aligns you.
Stop looking at the year as a clean slate ready to be ruined. Instead look at it as a year of you having a new identity – an identity that remains whether you slip up or not.
2) Remembering WHY you are doing something is just as important as WHAT you’ve decided to do
So you’ve decided you want to fall in love this year? You want to open up to people, be more vulnerable and finally get proactive in the search the love life you’ve been dreaming of?
Well most likely that’s not an easy thing to do. It will be scary at times. There will be rejection, there may be heart ache, or periods with no results before it happens for you. None of that matters. All that matters is knowing WHY you decided this was an important thing to do in the first place.
Here’s an example of your ‘why’:
I’m sick of holding myself back, shutting people out, and never knowing what opportunities are really out there simply because I don’t take the risks to find out. I realise that even if being this new me causes me pain, I can go to bed at night knowing that I’m finally being the courageous and open person I’ve always wanted to be in life.
3) Small change that grows is better than big change that dies in its infancy
Start small enough to make it manageable. You didn’t suddenly drop all of your responsibilities from last year. There are still things you have to do in a day outside of your wonderful new resolutions, so make sure you account for them. Try to simplify your new habits as much as possible, make them achievable, and use their success as a foundation on which to build newfound confidence in your ability to change.
We are going to have an incredible year together. Here at Matthew Hussey HQ we have huge goals for what we want to achieve as an organisation and as individuals. You have my word that you will be amongst the first to benefit from all the wonderful progress we make.
Now let’s show the rest of the world who the hell they are dealing with.
11 Replies to “3 Ways To Maintain Your 2016 Resolutions Without Being Miserable”
” Stop looking at the year as a clean slate ready to be ruined. Instead look at it as a year of you having a new identity – an identity that remains whether you slip up or not.”
” Remembering WHY you are doing something is just as important as WHAT you’ve decided to do .”
” Small change that grows is better than big change that dies in its infancy ”
YES , YES , YES :D . I love what you wrote .
I was serious when I asked you about the dick concept , and why calling a guy dick ?
thank you HERO :D
I think consistency and small changes really are the key. You got to accept the boundaries (within or around you), but see your freedom as well. When you keep working towards that freedom (remaining at peace with who you are), preparation will meet opportunity.
Thanks a lot for the inspiration! Really like the podcast, too!
One of the things I love about what you have to say is that a lot of us are unaware that we already know these principles but we needed someone to say it for us to realize that the knowledge is there.
Yesss! Great article, Matthew. So accurate. BTW, Happy new year :)
I love the last line, I’m with you Matthew all the way.
So exciting when a small step is really consolidated, you feel the small step up in confidence is a concrete foundation that won’t just be washed away by the next storm.
Wishing us all the best xx
I learned a lot from your Youtube videos and was really struck by what you had to say. I’ve been having this burning question that I hoped you could help me think clearer.
What would you do if you were someone in your mid-20s who deep deep down really want to have a meaningful life and find a partner who also values the same thing. I find it difficult to meet like minded people especially in big cities like New York, many people took “work hard, play harder”, “enjoy every bar and restaurants this city has to offer” very seriously and wore them as a badge of honor.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy those things sometimes but I am an overachiever type – I came to this country alone from a poor family 5 years ago, I can’t afford wasting too much of my time on those things. It’s funny that if I were a guy, I would have much less problem attracting high quality women but what would you do if you were an ambitious girl? Do you think I should keep on lying to myself, hiding my ambitions around men and just behave a stereotypical princess?
I saw you post and had to reply.
I am just like you mid twenties and am ambitious, I too like many women want to find a partner that has the same values as me. I think men want this too.
To meet like-minded people you need to expand your social circle and hang out in areas where men with the same interests might be.
Go to the gym, business conferences, coffee shops, retail shops etc if that’s where your interests are.
I live in a big city too, use it to your advantage there are many people you walk past everyday that you could be interacting with, you just need to be courageous
This is something that I am starting to do this year.
I don’t think men are afraid of ambitious women if anything it adds to how attractive you are.
I think people in general are attracted to people who are doing great things with their lives and are constantly growing. It’s a good way at finding not only a quality man but attracting quality people into your life.
Ive learnt sooooo much from Matthew and understand both men AND women are searching for the ‘right’ partner but it all starts by creating and taking action, that’s how we will get results.
Don’t hide who you are, I don’t think it will work because you feel like you are always holding something back and people will pick up on it. Be your authentic self its what makes you unique and stand out.
Thanks a lot for the inspiration!
Great article! I just don’t ever make New Year’s Resolutions…then I am never disappointed…I just try to be the person I can be…and work towards goals in my own time….& Voila! Happiness! Nirvana! Just delete all the BS in my life as best as I can. It is people that cause complication…always…So I have decided to get rid of the emotional vampires in my life…that suck the life energy out of my life…and it is all good…and along with the negative attitudes and people…It is amazing what can happen when you get rid of them. Life is so simple! If everyone would behave themselves…there would no problems…But, unfortunately…NOT HUMAN NATURE! Too bad…I am the controller of my own destiny…to a point…So…I will control what I can control! Surround yourself with positive people who have their SHIT together & it will be a simpler world….;) <3
That's what I'm going to do! Yay! 2016 is going to be a fricken' good year! Plus…I'm off to Matthew's Retreat May 2016! Could life get any sweeter! NOT!
Great article Stephen, I love the idea of building your identity and remembering your WHY it will help me stay focused when I feel those weak moments of giving up kick in.
Love the last line :)
How do I get my dad to spend more time with our family and take problems seriously (he only wants to be around us at the dinner table)?
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