3 Ways To Slow Life Down

Looking back on the last decade of my life, it’s scary how fast it’s happened.

We’re all used to hearing, “if you don’t know how to use it, time will pass you by”, but in this video I want to take you past tired clichés and drill down to a true feeling of gratitude.

58 Responses to 3 Ways To Slow Life Down

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  1. emily shepard says:

    “…and it scared the crap out of me.” Haaaha. :)

    Boyhood did make me sad but I also think it was maybe some kind of exposure therapy. Although I hated to say goodbye to each phase of Mason’s family’s life, the fact that we were forced to go through them s’dang quickly meant that I almost got a thick skin for the speed. (Almost.) Zoop, another year or two gone. And then you come out of it and you think, that was FAST, too fast, and holy crap, is that how fast my life is going to go? But NO.

    We get to live ALL the hours in each day, not just a few minutes every year. This movie makes that mundane fact seem like a huge gift. Which of course it IS.

  2. Nofyah says:

    Great post!
    Since I got Get the Guy with that awesome message NEVER SETTLE – which I took to heart and sat down and thought truly about “Where in my life am I settling?” and I realized that it was NOT in my love life I had settled, but in my finances.

    After an amazing 7 months in which my social media activity and business contacts have just exploded I spent my entire Pesach vacation just vegging at friend’s house with my children and my friends and had a fantastic time doing NOTHING…ok, so I read a little…but I literally fasted from “productive” activity for ten days so I could just sit back and be with my kids and people I love, my best friends and their kids.

    Thank you for your continuing inspiration. Now I have a “yardstick” by which to measure last week.

  3. Laura says:

    I really loved the idea of “what made today count?”. Thanks for the thoughtfulness of your messages.

  4. Agatha C says:

    Hi there!

    Some coworkers have compared me to you, not physically lol. This is the first video of yours that I have seen and I already consider it compliment. Who knows, I may become a fan! I have a book that I was given that I think you would appreciate. If ever given the oppertunity I would send it to you/your peeps. Keep enjoying your time in this phase of your life :)

    Kind Regards,
    Agatha C.

  5. Christine says:

    One of the best videos you’ve made..it’s so nice to get away from the “get the guy” pep talks…

  6. Barbara says:

    This was interesting I will see the movie
    Thanks Barbara

  7. Laurie says:

    I appreciate your lessons on Life, Matthew. Your perspective always resonates with me and gives me insight and things to ponder. I really liked this video because it’s so true. Many times, we aren’t present. We’re too focused on dwelling on the past or thinking about the future that we miss out on making the most of this moment, and that is exactly how life passes one by faster than it needs to. Thank you for the reminder to enjoy this moment and this phase of my life. :)

  8. Mikelann says:

    I’ve been wanting to start a journal, and that task is actually daunting to me, but having something brief like a “what made today count” notebook sounds so accessible and meaningful. Also if all I got out of the video was “productivity is not the same as presence” then I learned a lot. Thank you so much!

  9. Sue Kral says:

    Thank you Matthew. I am very excited to see you in Chicago… two more weeks!

  10. Kiraz says:

    Hi Matthew!

    These are my favorite videos, about life, people, ideas…I think they have the widest audience spectrum as well.

    Sexy potato.. ops..I mean, Boyhood was a very touching movie. It makes you think deep and hard, for sure. I did feel nostalgic. Just like you, it made me think of my childhood. I already always miss my childhood. When you are a child, you think you have the problems of the whole world on your shoulders, and you think everything will be much greater when you grow up, because you don’t need to take permission from anyone. But it is just the other way around. The real problems come when you grow up, when you have to face the world alone as an adult. Having said that, one thing that really hit me in the movie was the mother’s unconditional dedication to build a good future for her children. Right before the boy left for college, she said “I thought there was more.” Because she sacrificed her life for her children. She was so focused and strong. I admired her character. The movie made me appreciate all mothers all over again. They do and have done so much for us, we can never repay their sacrifices.

    Also, I admired the dedication they put on finishing the movie. 12 years is long time to keep going with a project. It is truly one of a kind movie. What an experience for actors to see themselves getting older in 3 hours. Ethan Hawk didn’t get old much, he had to have a mustache to look older at the end.

    Yeah, we need to enjoy the “now”. Every day is precious.
    All the best! xx

  11. Bethany says:

    I knew it all along – you’re a LIFE coach! Love coming to you for inspiration!

  12. Aramaya says:

    Thank you so much for sharing the story about Boyhood, it touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes. I haven’t seen the film yet but I want to see it, even more now than before. You are much more than a dating coach; you’re a philosopher, deep thinker, and sensitive person.

  13. Shawnelle says:

    I shall try to keep that in mind.

  14. Kiara says:

    Came for the dating tips.


    Matt you are a hero.

  15. Daria says:

    I think you are right. People around me and I are focused on future, we want to have more, to be better, and I think that it’s not so bad, but often we forgot about present. Sometimes I hate myself, because I’m scared to live… I’m waiting to start live and I think it’s suks! We should enjoy every second! I love Yours video, it makes me happier!!! Thank YOU! :)
    Ps. I didn’t know that I should write this, because my English isn’t so good, but I hope you will understand what I mean. Mayby it’s silly, but this comment is a very big step for me :)
    Greetings from POLAND!!! :)

  16. Sujeily says:

    Thank you
    Its weird how i woke up this morning feeling really odd due to a dream that i had very similar the Boyhood and i found the email with this video , Weird hu lol i can’t agree more i been so busy with work and school 3 years ego i snowboard , fish , hunt went camping enjoy time with myself and friends and i have become this career women but time just fly’s when i was enjoying myself in the outdoors time use to slowdown and joy was endless . Keeping up with the Joneses has made time dull and it only has the meaning reaching for success i guess it can be a sacrifice for now but i slowly want to unite the two .

  17. Jen says:

    Crazy!! I was just thinking about how fast time goes. My birthday was in January, which my friends have coined “Jenuary” (a month long celebration of me…hahaha). I was a bit sad when the month was over and wondered where it actually went. I have been trying to live in the moment and appreciate now…but sometimes it just goes so quickly. Thanks Matt for another great video!!

  18. lovyn says:

    Thanks Matt, for all the ideas you’ve been sharing with me. They’ve made me really love myself.I’m better today. Thanks for the three tips for enjoying the phase of life in are in now.It’s mind opening.Thanks for your video “is he too hot for me? ” It made me care less about someone else’s opinion of me.I’m free living my life now. You are simply AMAZING. By the way,i love your accent.

  19. S says:

    Hi Matt

    I have been following you for years and this is one of my favourite videos. I have had a deep fear of time passing too quickly for a long time which has stopped me from truly appreciating the present. I have been learning a lot about and am trying to be a lot more mindful and present in my daily life, so this vide really struck a chord with me.

  20. Red says:

    This is your best video yet. After all, how can we as beings truly connect unless we re willing to be solidly in the present moment. It takes serious balls to not run away to the future or past…

  21. Kathryn says:

    I read Stephen’s article when it came out and it was so well written, so full of wonderful sentiments, as always from him. I can only think he was seeing this film through the eyes of a young man. It was nearly three hours long and I have at least three hours worth of things to say about it. I’m glad you extrapolated such a nice message from it. A kind of Kierkegaard philosophy that the film spent chewing up and spat back out again. It did the same with Ethan Hawke. What happened to him?! Half way through the film he disappeared. Mason, the Boy, even looks at him as though he was lost and gets the response, ‘stop looking like there’s been a death in the family’. He returns with a ‘holier than though’ attitude, quite literally. From then on he was completely unrecognisable. You are left with such a strange feeling at the end, but not in a clever way like, is it Beyond Sunset, Before Sunrise? You know what I mean. I love the room you are in, I find that the most inspiring of all. Those bookcases, music stand, carpet, solid furniture “who lives in a house like that”? Gorgeous. Thanks Matt, have a great week on live tour. X

  22. Kristen says:

    Thank you so much for this video! Since I have turned 40 I have felt like my life is going at the speed of light! I need to appreciate the small nuances of life and live in the moment. I have followed you for over a year now and have bought all of your programs. This is the first time I have posted :) I always love what you have to say…. I am a little jealous of how much you understand at this stage in your life. I am glad you and your brother are sharing your great knowledge. Keep up the good work and I look forward to your next video or post!

  23. Stacey says:

    You are lovely.

  24. Lina says:

    I recently found you and have probably have watched all of your videos in the past couple of weeks. I am so glad you are doing what you are doing because you are very good at it. Thanks for the inspirations! :)

  25. Dee says:

    This something I’ve always been aware of. Everytime I go of on vacation or to a different place it’s like time stands still. Compared to when I’m back in the real world time flies. I always wondered why that was until I realized during those times I’m actually in that moment. I’m not worrying about the past or future but I’m taking in all if my surroundings. So I’ve been trying to implement that in my daily life and try as hard as I can to stay in this moment. I do believe that works. Great vid.

  26. anon. says:

    Matt…Liked this video. Stop wrinkling up your forehead! You’ve been wrinkling up your forehead A LOT in the last few videos. You’ll get premature wrinkles! I’m saying this because when I was a little girl I used to wrinkle up my forehead, & I have a vague recollection of my mother telling me not to, & it made me aware & I immediately stopped doing it & I’m glad cause it’s just a bad habit & it can be stopped…seriously.

    • anon. says:

      P.S. Matt, I hope you’re not offended by my comment. I mean well. I suppose you do so much public speaking etc. you’re not even aware of it.

  27. Lise Gaudreault says:

    These words were just want I needed to here today. I’m 50 now and I’ve been living the first two months of my 50th year in vain. Thank you so much Matthew!

  28. Kristin says:

    Hi Matthew,
    Love your work! You have truly found your calling in life and it’s always a joy to watch someone that is so passionate about what they do! It’s contagious! I have been on a spiritual journey of sorts for about ten years now. I was lucky enough to go see Oprah last year with Deepak Chopra and other spiritual teachers. The tour was called ‘Living Your Best Life’. I walked away from that 3 day seminar with this glow about me and it’s something, I continue to be complimented on. I work in a high energy, high stress work environment that can really make staying in the moment extremely hard. By the time you’ve put out one fire, there are two more that have popped up. Something that is extremely simple and always with us that helps me stay present is my breath. Breathing is something our body doesn’t think about and just happens naturally. But when I catch myself worrying about the future or not being present, I stop and take ten slow deep breaths, concentrating on each one. This always creates a shift for me allowing me to remain focused in the moment. One of my mantras I continually say is, ‘I am exactly where I am supposed to be for this very moment’. That means in times of joy, or times of sorrow, THIS is where I am supposed to be. I started something new this year that is very similar to your ‘what made today count’ list. I created a Happy Jar. Each day, I write down something that made me happy or that I found joy in on a piece of paper and drop it into the jar. The jar sits on my kitchen table (I would send you a picture, but don’t think I can thru this feed). The jar has taken on a life of it’s own. When people ask me about it I share with them what it is and before I knew it, different people were writing things down and putting them in the jar. My two year old drew something that made her happy and put it in the jar. At the end of the year, I will take out all of the paper and read them, so that I can look back and remember a year well lived!

    Thank you for being a positive light in this world and sharing your love with everyone and teaching us all how to appreciate the part of life we are currently living. I hope to see you in Dallas…I need to get my tickets before it’s sold out! I look forward to each new video you post. Keep doing what your doing, you are making an impact on those around you and that’s just awesome!!!

  29. Allison says:

    Wow. So I’m sitting here on my laptop catching up on personal email and news with a plan to do some work. I’ve been consumed lately with finding love and a new job all to make my life, and that of my son’s, more fulfilling. But in the process of ALL this, I’m not spending quality time with him. Your video today was a slap of reality, a wake up call. My boy is 9 yrs old. This is HIS boyhood and what memories will he have? A mom that worked a lot? Ugh…time to shut this down and go play Legos. THANK YOU!! He will only be in this “phase” where he wants my attention for a bit longer. I needed to be reminded of that. Much gratitude.

  30. Amy says:

    I woke up today feeling overwhelmed and like I didn’t know how I would get it all done. I was really nice to be reminded of the bigger picture, that productivity can really not mean so much, and that what matters is probably not something necessarily on my ‘to do’ list. Thanks!

  31. Gale says:

    I am in the best phase of my life, right here, right now. I retired myself very early. I volunteer, am a Lion, help with Habitat For Humanity and mentor young adults. I never married by choice. With your programs, Attract Any Guy, Fast Track To Mister Right and,(drum roll please), Impact, I have become tremendously self aware. I am inspiring Love, as Adam Gilad so beautifully expressed. Now, I am going to speed up my life,(just a little), as I prepare to meet the Love Of My Life. My breakthrough was when I realized I wanted to show my parents that I was independent. So I attracted dependent men. I didn’t want that. There is much more to the story, yet I will spare you the interesting details, for now. My mantra is, “I can trust my man to take care of things. And he involves me in the decision making. We are a team.” Gale P.S. You are so handsome, shaven or not. That’s true good looks!

  32. Julianna says:

    Matt, thank you so much for this video and the insightful thoughts you shared. It was just a couple of days ago when all of a sudden I realized it’s almost the end of the month, January. I wondered where did all the time go? I’m in the next phase of my life (I’m 65 years young) wondering if it’s time to retire from work and enjoy the remaining time making memories with my children and grandchildren? However, I also would like to make a difference in someone’s life as a Certified Holistic Health Coach. I just graduated from Institute for Integrative Nutrition (my third degree, I’m a perpetual student). Certainly, I appreciate the tips you shared and will implement them in my new phase of life. God bless you for your unconditional love to share and serve the world for its betterment.

  33. Sophie says:

    Hi Matthew,

    Loved your video. I was very moved ;(.

    It’s amazing how much we have a similar way of seeing life.

    I am always asking myself these types of question about the meaning of life and how to appreciate the beautiful moments.

    What I appreciate about you and the reason why I keep watching your videos is that you’re not afraid to show your sensitivity.

    I always feel more connected with people who are like this.

    I don’t feel confortable with people who view sensitivity as a weekness.

    You talk about this subject in another video and I really liked it as well.

  34. Lizzy says:

    You’re a very special person. Your depth, insights and perspective are incredibly special and generous. Don’t stop doing what you do! X

  35. Krista says:

    Hi there Matt,

    Just saw Boyhood last week with my 16 year old son. There were many parallels for both of us being that I’ve been raising him on my own since he was 5, have had a few relationships that went south and certainly had some damaging effects on both of us, we moved to new communities and had to start over a few times and he had to start 3 new schools in the last 11 years. We then lost my 2nd husband to cancer a few months back.

    Together, as a team we have navigated through what many would see as a less than perfect life. Some even pity us for all the challenges we’ve endured.

    But our take away on the movie was that the film certainly demonstrated the passing of time beautifully which is a good reminder that life does in deed march along. It also showed how a young boy grows up and becomes a man, which is a majestic feat that brings tears to my eyes when I now see my son with a beard! The film also showed a woman finding her way to create a life for herself and children and did the best she could with what she had to work with, inspiring other’s along the way. What more could a person do? It was beautiful.

    I feel that the movie was remiss to not show a deeper connection and bond between the siblings and also with the mother. The experiences that my son and I have gone through together as a team have connected us like no other parent-child relationship that my son or I have experienced. They could have had more intense exchanges between them – watch the trailer for the film Mommy (French Film) and you will see what I mean.

    Don’t be sad Matt. From where I’m sitting you are living an extraordinary life, taking every morsel and gobbling it up, finding the beauty in the experience through gratitude, growing up to be an amazing man and inspiring others along the way!

  36. Carolina says:

    Thanks for this video, as well as for the many others you’ve made :).
    You really have a way of saying this that put my way of thinking into perspective.

    I am going to do a “What made this day count” list.

    Thank you for helping me being positive and being a better person to myself, and to rest of the people i deal with :D

  37. Kara says:

    Nice sweatpants.

  38. Venus says:

    I felt you..I feel you..I heard you..I’m right on track.
    You make me Happy – thank you x

  39. Anna says:


    While I have not seen the film, your message has great meaning for me. I too, sometimes wonder where time has gone, but did not stop to smell the “roses” along the way. Your videos and tips and thoughts are incredible and help me tremendously. You are wise beyond your years and I truly appreciate that you share yourself with the world!! I will try to implement these tips and “slow” life down for me to appreciate the time or phase I am currently in before I too am looking back on this one. I look forward to enjoying my life, now!!

  40. catriona says:

    Love it. Your so dee for a guy.

  41. Neethu Vimal says:

    Hey matt, that was a beautiful and really deep thought.i ve felt Very few people appreciate the day they have…today…and what they have now… appreciating the little things is a habit….Its something that you ll have to install in you, but once installed..it changes even the way you think n feel about life. Thats what happened to me.. THE Secret and The MAGIC, by Rhonda are the books that helped me with this transformation. After a long time, i felt you really did a much much meaningful vedio;) Good job buddy :)

  42. christine walker says:

    Thanks for this video Matt. Lovely Birthday present! I have never been able to shake the regret of wasted years… and at 58 years young today that’s a lot of years.

    I plan to watch The Kid today to remind myself it’s never too late to be who you should have been, enjoy the cake that my son has made me and playfully threaten to damage my kids as they make old woman jokes all day. Good thing I am secure in their love and them in mine!! Bystanders however look horrified LOL

    This phase of my life does have some great things… I gave up the word “should” many years ago, I don’t need to win arguments, don’t need to be perfect, don’t need to compare myself to others, can easily admit my mistakes, know that I am the only person who regulates my self esteem, have the confidence to say when a boundary has been crossed and have learned to appreciate myself.

    So maybe the last 58 years haven’t been wasted after all????

    Thanks Matt

  43. Samantha says:

    Going to for a exploring career’s I like I want to be a real estates agent so going to classes for it , but not wasting time wonder i want to be more proactive and really take responsibility for my destiny

  44. Jo says:

    Great video Matt

    This is something that I’ve been thinking about a lot over the last few days. I reached the age of 43 a couple of weeks ago and realized that I have spent the last decade trying to recover from a string of bad relationships resulting in a lack of self esteem and confidence. I feel that I have been lurching from one crisis to the next and haven’t noticed that life has literally gone by me in a flash whilst I have wasted endless hours preoccupied with worry.

    I have a job that allows me little free time which means I also have little time to cultivate existing friendships and time or to form new ones. Also it has left me closed off from developing a new relationship……but this is where change begins.

    I have been offered a place to study Applied Arts at university this Autumn and I am looking for a job that gives me the spare time that I so desire to pursue the things I and everyone else deserves from life, health, happiness, passion and love. I no longer want miss out on my life because I’m busy doing other things and your video punctuated that brilliantly.

    I haven’t yet seen the film, but I will and I am sure that I will feel the same as you about what I just witnessed but if it is further proof that life needs to be enjoyed in the moment then I will be forever grateful that I could be part of it.

    All the best.

    Take care

    Jo x

  45. Suzanne says:

    I appreciate this video today! It made me cry! Lol!
    Not seen the film yet but sounds a very beautiful story and I love learning from your content as always keep it up

    muchas Gracias matt! xx

  46. Kerly says:

    Matthew, I’ve been thinking awhile over asking you this and I really hope you
    have any advice for this…
    What should a young girl in early twenties do if she meets the love of her life,
    literally the most amazing guy and wants to be with them but inside she has always wanted to travel the world, get lost in the unknown, grow from different experiences and see different countries and amazing nature and everything the world has to offer… But she also knows that she could only experience the world like that alone- or this is how she would truly learn and grow…
    But she has also grown a lot with the guy she is with and wants to be with him…
    She also knows that the guy is more rational and wants to travel maybe in few years when enough money is gathered, where as she wants to do it now.. She is a dreamer, a risker and someone who is impatient and makes her dreams reality as fast as possible .. There is an urgency.. Where as the guy hasn’t got the urgency- it’s more like rationality..
    What do you do when you finally have the relationship you want but you also want to travel the world… Love vs dreams? How could she have it both?
    I’ve done a lot of thinking and I can’t come to an answer…
    All I know is that I’ve always been the kind of person who just does something when they want to.. But relationship is something more, it’s compromise and what two people want..
    After seeing that phase video and when you asked :what seems like a good idea to do is this current phase.. All I could think is travel…
    Please, any help would be well appreciated!
    Love you Matthew!

    Your teachings are what got me the love of my life in first place and I’ve done a bit of travelling before I met him when I grew so much from the experiences and places and people I met but was earning for that someone special.

    • Anna says:

      Dear Kerly,

      10 years ago I was in the same phase as you.Full of passion and wanted to travel,exited to experience life and at the same time i have met my partner.I had amazing time with him,married but deep down i always missed to experience life alone and travel the world.So now we separated and its been a wonderful journey again.Living alone,travel and discover myself. Do I regret anything? Should I have choosen to travel at 20 and miss experiencing a great relationship?No.Whatever your choice will be it will be the best for you. just listen to your intuition and emotions will show you the right path.Dont listen to anybody. Follow what feels right for you. Good luck☺

    • Tijana says:

      Kerly, you know yourself better than anyone. But I would travel and see if the guy is still there at return, or maybe after a couple of years, in a more attractive (mature but less scared) form. Not saying I would have chosen travel when I was your age, and in your shoes (I’m 33 now). Who knows, you might even find another dreamer out there. You have one life and your age is the best for travel. Later comes carrier perhaps etc. Don’t miss out. I am very glad I lived abroad in total for about a year and a half before starting studying at a university. But then again, my choice was a no choice really, I didn’t have your (positive) dilema. Have fun!

    • Lianda says:

      Hi Kerly! Thanks for sharing this beautifully authentic experience you’re currently in. I am in my 20’s and feel very similarly to you as far as the desire to travel AND have the partner of my deepest soul’s desire. It seems to me that right now, you have an “either or” mindset about your scenario, when it COULD be possible to have both. What would it take for you to be with your love AND travel on your own? How could you create an experience for yourself where you can take solo trips and still be with your love? What ELSE is possible that you haven’t seen yet? Are you willing to see all the possibilities? If not or if so, just say “I am willing to see the truth, I am willing to see what is possible…” and also your inner guidance to show you. A question I have been playing with lately is ” in 10 years, would I regret not doing or will I have wished I did ______ .” Marie Forleo shared this question in a video she once posted and I really loved it. Of course, with love, all things are a bit different and the intensity is a bit higher, but trust you will be able to create whatever you need. What does your gut say? Sending you love and clarity and wishes for the most wonderful parting of the seas to the path that will bring the most growth and joy. Love, Lianda

  47. Katherine says:

    Brendon Burchard….

  48. Kristina says:

    You’re my favourite. Even though we’ve never met, I still see you as my coach. Thanks for sharing these thoughts today :)

  49. Jill says:

    I just wrote some sappy story about my childhood and it got DELETED…Dangit :(

  50. Jessica says:

    We’ll never be as young as we are now.

  51. Freshta says:

    hi matt, I can’t see Steve’s article related to this video that you mentioned in this video?

    Very interested to see it please :)

  52. Freshta says:

    Thank you Matt, great video as usual. I look forward to your videos every week. Please don’t ever stop sharing your gift, you are amazing.


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