5 Texting Mistakes You’re Probably Making
Budding relationships aren’t won by text messages. But they can be lost.
Many women don’t realise how much guys can be turned off by nasty texting habits that make him hold up his phone to his friends and ask “What’s her deal??”
So here are the 5 big texting mistakes that women make, and why they are so important to avoid:
1. You are a “one-note” woman
“Hey…what’s up, I’m bored x”
“Not much, just watching Stranger Things. You?”
“Ah, love that show. Just chilling, got home from work.”
“Cool. Any big plans for the weekend?”
“Dunno yet. What you thinking?”
Somebody, please. Smash these people’s smartphones so they can never pollute the ether with their boring conversations again.
This is what happens when people treat texting as an “entertain me” machine. Instead of giving any value, insight, or fun, they simply ask one-note questions that show zero personality and make other people feel bored just looking at them.
If you want to start getting guys interested, use texts messages to express personality, e.g. “I just watched Stranger Things, and now I’m pretty sure there are monsters in my house! Also, now I feel like being a kid and going on an adventure, any ideas? ;)”
This makes everything fun, instead of logical and boring.
(Btw – you can see more examples of this in my free texting guide at 9texts.com)
2. You take too much time to text back
You thought you’d grow out of game-playing after 25? Unfortunately, many people don’t. They still think that purposely waiting 3 hours to text back shows they’re “busy”, meanwhile, the guy is getting more and more bored wondering why it’s taking 2 days to have a few lines of conversation.
No, you don’t have to be available to text at all hours of the day, but if you’re busy, just tell him you’ll catch up later (if he’s cool, he’ll get it), then talk properly when you’re next available.
But the whole: “I’ll wait double the amount of time he takes to reply before I text him back” game? That gets real old real fast.
3. You’re not moving things forward
Texting should be for either:
(a) Entertainment = flirting, jokes, funny stories, cute messages, sharing a stupid GIF
(b) Logistics = arranging a date, deciding where to eat, etc.
Sure, you can also do some of the standard: “Where are you from? What’s your job?” chat, but stay away from getting stuck on talking about boring daily updates like what you had for lunch, your annoying boss at work, or how you’re sitting around bingeing on YouTube Make-Up tutorials videos wasting hours of your weekend – these things shouldn’t be a focus when texting your crush.
Think of text messages as things that “spark joy” (to use the words of Marie Kondo) – little ways to elicit an emotion, rather than as a substitute for a real life conversation.
Besides, you should always save some topics of conversation for when you actually meet in person.
4. You brush off his compliments
Suppose you had an amazing date. Maybe you even kissed and shared a romantic moment.
He texts you later to say, “Thanks for tonight. You looked incredible btw.”
And you respond: “Lol don’t be silly”.
It might seem small, but in that moment you KILLED HIS COMPLIMENT – and this is one of the biggest text messaging mistakes a woman can make in the early dating stage.
If you brush off his praise, or don’t show some kind of acknowledgment that you like him back, it’s going to make him question whether you’re really interested. If you like the guy, give him some sign that you return his feelings.
5. Being too demanding
It’s obvious, but no-one wants to feel like texting has become a chore. So keep your conversations limited to a certain time or amount of messages, and then politely excuse yourself to continue talking another time. Believe me, it will make him value you more.
When women respond too much, come on too strong, or act aggressive in their expectations, men start to get bored of the conversation and emotionally check out.
So make sure you’re not always the one reaching out: take a day or two for him to miss you and see if he sparks up a new conversation – it creates some space, and gives you a chance to see if he really likes you and wants to reach out.