Understanding male language can be tricky. It’s well known that the things men say don’t always exactly match what’s going on their heads, for better or worse.
In this article then, I want to translate some of the more common guy phrases into plain English. You’ll never have to sit wondering what he really means again!
1. “I love that you’re a nurse/architect/journalist…that’s so cool” = “Wow…I’m really glad you’re not just a pretty face.”
Let’s face it, meeting someone who turns you on physically and intellectually doesn’t happen every day. And since men start off as fairly visual creatures, when he realises he’s drawn to your personality as well it can often take him by surprise.
If he gets starry-eyed about your job, or becomes excited when he discovers you love the same books or movies, it means he’s genuinely excited about your personality and is already starting to wonder about you as a potential girlfriend.
Basically, any phrase he says on a date that involves him being impressed and fascinated by your interests means he’s getting excited about the thought of seeing you again.
2. “Where are you guys headed after this place?” = “I want to make sure I see you again…please can I have your number?”
You’ve been hitting it off at a party or a bar for the last 20 minutes, then suddenly it dawns on him that you could walk out soon and he’ll lose you from his life forever.
If he’s asking what venue your group of friends are going next, what he really means to say is “let’s make sure we catch up again after this”. Or he just wants an excuse to get your number before you leave. Any sign that shows he’s hoping to be in the same room as you later on is a clear indicator that you’re already in his head.
3. “That outfit looks amazing” = “I think you’re hot”
A guy isn’t just going to blurt out that his jaw just dropped when you said walked into view, nor the fact that he’s secretly picturing what you might look like under that dress. Instead he’ll compliment some more innocuous feature, whether it’s your outfit, your eyes, your smile, or he’ll just say, “You look great”.
These kinds of physical compliments are essentially the things men say to indicate they’re LOVING what they see.
4. “Are those your friends?” = “Is any of those guys your boyfriend?”
Because let’s face it, he’s not really that curious about your friends, especially if you’ve just met. What he is interested in is whether an angry boyfriend is about to walk up, put a possessive arm around you, and create a truly awkward moment for him.
He asks this because he wants to know the coast is clear before he spends another 10 minutes trying to flirt with you within the gaze of your social group.
If you’re enjoying his company, put him out of his misery and make sure to use the word “friends” when you describe your crowd (especially if there are guys in it) so he knows he can relax.
5. [Sent via text message] “We’ll have to catch up some time” = “I’m not sure I’m really into you, so I’m going to keep it vague”
If a guy is interested he’ll want to make sure he locks you down, or at the very least he’ll say something like, “Let’s get together up next weekend”.
If he’s keeping it super vague though, it’s because either (a) he hasn’t really made up his mind about how he feels yet, (b) he’s being flakey and waiting to see what other plans come along, or (c) he’s planning on gradually fading out and never really following up on a date. It may be that he’s putting you in the friend zone or he’s simply hoping he can keep things on ice in case he changes his mind at a later date.
Either way, save your energy for a guy who wants to make real plans.
6. “I’m really busy at the moment” = “I don’t want to prioritise you right now”
There can be many reasons a guy feels “busy” – he’s ambitious in his career, he’s juggling a busy social life with work, he’s feeling under pressure financially…it doesn’t matter. What he really means to say loud and clear that he doesn’t want to invest seriously in you (though he may still call to offer a “Netflix and Chill” if he’s being really cheeky).
It may be him, or it may that he’s not that into you…the point is, it’s not your job to wait around for his schedule to lighten up in a few weeks time. Frankly, you should be the one too busy for this kind of nonsense.
7. “I don’t want anything serious right now” = “I don’t want anything serious right now”
Listen up! This is one of those times men mean 100% what they say!
If a guy says anything vaguely in the realm of “I just want to have fun”, “I’m enjoying things as they are”, or “I don’t have time for anything too committed”, for the love of all things holy just take his word for it. All of these are essentially euphemisms or softer ways of saying I do not want this thing we have to turn into a relationship. Period.
He may say this phrase and still be loving, affectionate, and yes, grow to really really like you. But that doesn’t change anything. Often a guy will say this and STILL carry on wanting to date you – so it’s your responsibility to decide what YOU want and let him know you’re not ok with just “seeing how this goes” and enduring 6 months more of being just casual.