Do you feel like you’re always apologizing even though you didn’t do anything wrong?
Does the guy you’re dating constantly make you feel insecure, or criticize you whenever you succeed?
Do you get called labels like “childish” or “jealous”, even when you’re behavior is totally reasonable?
If the answer to these questions is yes, you may have walked into a toxic relationship without even realizing it.
To find out whether your relationship is doing more harm than good, look for some of these 9 signs…
You probably won’t have all of them, but if you have even a few you’ll know there are definitely toxic elements about this guy that should make you consider leaving:
1. He doesn’t like to see you succeed
“You just got a promotion, babe? Huh, so I guess that means you’ll be spending even more time at work? That sucks.”
If he can’t enjoy seeing you succeed, or he always needs to bring you down a peg, there’s a good chance this is a toxic relationship.
A real man should be your greatest supporter, and want what’s best for you in the long-term. When either of you win, you both win. That’s how a great relationship works.
2. He gets jealous of ANYONE else in your life
This is a definite sign of controlling, jealous behavior, and it’s one of the biggest signs of a toxic relationship. When a guy is insecure, he’ll often try to isolate you from other people for fear of losing his power.
No man who truly cares about you will want to drag you away from the most important people in your life.
3. You feel like you’re always “walking on eggshells”
Are you scared to speak your mind because you know that one wrong word could send you into a huge fight?
Being afraid to talk about your problems aka “walking on eggshells” around your partner, is usually a sign that you’re with a guy who overreacts to everything.
The cornerstone of great relationships is feeling like you can always be honest with each other when something’s wrong and work it out together, rather than ignoring it out of fear for their reaction.
4. He insults you when you argue (or any time!)
The B-word, the F-word, or heaven forbid the C-word. Whatever it is, there’s no reason that a guy should be throwing out nasty insults and labels just because you’re in an argument.
This is one of the big signs that you’re in a toxic relationship: when you’re constantly disrespected and made to feel like you’re a horrible person.
It doesn’t even have to be profanities – maybe he just keeps calling you “selfish”, “dumb”, or ”stupid”. Either way, these labels are indicative of emotional abuse, and if your partner repeats them long enough you may just start to believe them.
5. He’ll make his insecurities YOUR problem
He’s jealous? That’s your fault. He feels insecure that he doesn’t earn enough money? That’s because you belittle him and hold him back.
A toxic guy loves to make you the root of all his problems. He’ll accuse you of holding him back and blame you for all his shortcomings in life. And the last thing he’ll do is look at his own behavior, because that would mean taking responsibility for his life and admitting failure.
6. He always threatens the relationship when things are wrong
This is a classic move. Some guys know that they have a woman who will do anything to hold onto them, and they exploit it.
Whenever he’s dissatisfied, or has a minor problem – he’ll threaten the entire relationship, knowing that you’ll beg him not to leave. These kind of guys prey on neediness, and subconsciously look for women whom they can control in this unhealthy way.
7. He’s always suspicious
He sees you texting, and immediately gets in a bad mood as if you’ve been doing something wrong. Or you come home half an hour later than you said you would from work and he suspects you of being with another guy.
Suddenly, you feel like you have to keep apologizing and proving your innocence even though you haven’t done anything wrong. One of the biggest signs of a toxic relationship is feeling guilty 24/7 – so if that’s happening to you, you know it’s time to leave before things get worse.
8. He makes everything about him
Some guys are narcissists.
For this guy, life is all about his ambitions, his struggle, and what he deserves. Meanwhile, whatever your hopes and dreams are fall by the wayside because he never factors them into his decisions. He may also have a big ego and need constant validation and attention, while giving you nothing back in return.
This often happens with men who seem successful on the outside, but who emotionally neglect their partner by thinking the world revolves around them.
9. He gets moody whenever you act independently
The final toxic guy on our list is the guy who wants to have you dependent on him: maybe financially, emotionally, or physically.
This man will hate it when you’re able to take care of yourself without him, and he’ll instinctively try to keep his control over you by shutting down or criticizing your attempts to carve out your own independence. He’ll try to take charge of any part of your life for fear of you striking out on your own.
So there we are, 9 huge red flags that tell you if you’ve entered into a toxic relationship and need to get out now.
If you’ve never been in this situation before, it may be surprising to realise it’s happened to you. But don’t worry – just know that this behavior is totally unacceptable, decide to take back your life, and see this toxic relationship for what it is.
The sooner you let go, the sooner you’ll be free from this poison and can make space for a healthy, happy relationship based on love and mutual respect.