Are You “Microdosing” in Your Love Life? Find Out…


It’s when you like someone, and want more with them, but they’ve shown you (through their actions or their words) that they are not willing to give you more. They don’t want a relationship with you.

And yet, here you are, continuing to text them, speak to them on the phone, see them in person, and hook up with them.

If you can relate to this, watching this video is literally the most important thing you can do right now.

Go for the Happiness You Deserve.
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I want to talk about a familiar story. You like someone. You’ve spent some time with them. Maybe you’ve been on a few dates. Maybe they were even someone you had a relationship with. But this person essentially tells you on some level that they’re not ready for something more. They don’t want a relationship with you. Now, if you also don’t want something more, but you’re enjoying spending time with them and you’re just enjoying it for what it is, that’s one thing. But if deep down you want something more with someone who has confirmed that they are not ready or don’t want something more with you, continuing to see that person, to text that person, to make love to that person, or to give that person your attention in any way is a form of microdosing, and microdosing in this context can be lethal.

There are more dangers than the obvious dangers of microdosing. The obvious danger is that this is leaving me unsatisfied, unrewarded, ultimately unfulfilled, it’s not a nourishing form of investment, and every time that person leaves my life again, every time it goes cold again, I feel the sense of hangover. This is now painful. The only way out of that hangover is to get my fix again, right? The next time they text me, I get this Pavlovian rush of dopamine that I connect to that person’s name. I mean, we all know that feeling. There’s a certain person that when their name comes up on our phone, we immediately get this surge, this chemical rush, and in that moment we go, “Oh, my God.” It’s like you’re a junkie. In that moment you go, “Oh, my God, it feels so much better now.” That is so dangerous, but that’s only the obvious danger. The not-so-obvious danger is this, that when someone is occupying emotional and psychological focus in our life – even if they’re not a physical presence in our life, that’s not taking up a huge amount of space in our week – if they are an emotional presence in our life, then we never get the emotional distance from that person that’s necessary to meet someone new. Now, even though that person isn’t with us in our day, isn’t with us in our life, we can be in a coffee shop, there can be all these people around us, but we don’t look up at those people, we look down at our phone waiting for that next text, waiting for our fix.

You may be saying to yourself, “Yeah, but Matt, I don’t know that there’s anyone else out there for me. There might not be a happy ending around the corner.” That might be true. You might decide to cut off this person completely, and go explore, and not find anything, but at least it’s a question mark. That person who has told you they don’t want any more with you is a period. In other words, they have hit period on this situation and said, “I don’t want more.” Everyone else out there in the world is a question mark. Leave the period, start exploring the question marks.

Don’t lie to yourself about microdosing on a person being harmless to you. It is not harmless in terms of your time, your emotional energy, and your psychological wellbeing. It can be lethal. You don’t want a drug. You want happiness. So start going for happiness.

78 Responses to Are You “Microdosing” in Your Love Life? Find Out…

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  1. Jennifer Baker says:

    so do i quite my job in order to break the habit of him? do I abandon the relationship with a 5 yo that i am very close to? He gets upset when I dont hang out or do things with him stating that he is loosing his best friend. I dont want to walk away, but i can not feel like this any more.

  2. jennie pabuaya says:

    hello sorry for the late reply mr.hussay

  3. jennie pabuaya says:

    nice guy

  4. Emelly kumwenda says:

    I feel a bit relieved..though am not sure how I get out of this situation

  5. Stina says:

    How handle being in love with a friend, someone you see almost 3-5 times a week, you share same interest, same friends. He do call you, text you, invite you out to do things….and he have also made it clear; “I love you, I’m not in love with you”
    When I’m sick he calls and wonder if i need something from the store

    we have great time together, since same hobbies, same humour. We think about the same things at the same time. He ask me for help/feedback/advice about everything in his life – and I do the same with him.

    I just want my longing for him to go away…so I can just enjoy hanging out with a very close and dear friend

  6. Stephanie says:


  7. Bethann Jackson says:

    Thanks this has touched my life took some time to get out of it.
    The why am I here talk to my self.

  8. Lynnette says:

    Truer words cannot be spoken. Broke up with ex 6 months ago…i’m ready (always have been) for a new ‘us’…but he is not. We see each other every week – chat every day, but he is just not willing to commit – he say’s he is not sure. (after 6 months he is still not sure, what even?). I have tried so many times to cut off all communication, but – every time i come back for my fix, (knowing he will always respond to my requests – that i need to see him etc). He never initiates…always only me. It’s difficult to break off completely, (believe me), but i know my worth. I have been unfulfilled, unsatisfied, unrewarded now for so long. I need to stop at the period (.) that is right in front of me..and look at all the yummy questions marks (?) out there. Thank-you for your video Matt… It’s once again confirmation of what needs to be done. MOVE forward…move forward!!

  9. Cindy says:

    When I read the email I was like Microdosong what the heck is that well OMG I’m balling my eyes out right now. Your video just described, verbatim, what my life has been for so many months now. I’m so, so, so emotionally unhappy but I still keep going back staying overnight one night each weekend and having sex with him, giving of myself a whole lot to him. I haven’t been out in well over a year. I don’t talk to any of my friends. The social life that I built, after separating from my 2nd husband in 2016, I’ve abandoned all because that’s what this man wanted. I’m so emotionally involved and have no idea how I got to this point. I’m 49 years old and have been married twice. I met my 1st husband when I was 16 with him being 6 years my elder. We married when I was 18, my son was born when I was 19 and we were divorced just before my 27th birthday. I met my 2nd husband a little over two years later. We were together about 18 years.
    I have never had anyone be able to control me the way this guy has. He’s a master manipulator. He is emotionally abusive and a sexual narcissist. He uses sex, which he is oh so good at, to control and mentally abuse woman this stroking his ego. He needs to feel superior to others and I’ve seen this by how he will talk about people he works with amongst other situations I’ve seen him portray this behavior. I know all this why why why can’t I stay away.
    Just like you said in the video, constantly looking at my phone to see if he’s messaged me and sad, to the point that I’m crying and will basically lock myself in my room and won’t talk to anyone, when he hasn’t, but when he finally does or FINALLY responds to my text It’s like this elephant has been lifted off of me, I’m on cloud nine. He is like a drug I should leave alone but I can’t I want more. I’ve actually said this to him more than once, which is only giving him what he needs to feel good about himself, it’s feeding his ego.
    He has said that he doesn’t want a serious relationship with because I’m a spoiled brat who when doesn’t get my way I have no problem trying to destroy his life. This is his way of deflecting the situation off of him and onto me. He won’t answer any questions or discuss how some of the things he has done have made me feel belittled, blatantly disrespected and emotionally crushed. For example, I’ve found panties in his bedroom and living room in the past, I say to him holding these panties in my hand, who the hell are these and you’re not f***ing anyone else, that’s bs you’re a liar. He’s Typical response I’m not discussing this, I’m not arguing with you. He’s even said to me I haven’t done anything wrong, I don’t know where those came from or how they got there. WTAF are you kidding me this is your house and only you live here these where in the couch or these were on your bedroom floor.
    I have felt like I’m literally loosing my mind dealing with this man, second guessing myself, don’t know if I coming or going and apologizing. It’s insane. And still I want to see him, I want to touch him, I want him to touch me even though I know in my gut he’s had someone else at his house he’s been spending time with. The time I desire with him and he won’t give me, until I get really pissed and start either giving him the silent treatment somewhat or saying I’m not gona see him anymore. Then he will give me the attention that I crave, and he’s so good at it, and then Out Of the blue he will start being a jerk and nasty to me tell me to leave and then he puts me on silent treatment. It’s really a mentally unhealthy relationship for me and I need to make myself stay away from him. I feel so disgusted with myself sometimes. This has been an emotional roller coaster and I’m beat down and exhausted.
    Thank you for the video. Cindy

  10. Andrea says:

    This was my relationship!!! We had a huge age difference but we still continue told each other and others we were both helping each other with are healing from our last relationship with others. Than it got deeper 3 months later and had the talk and was told it could never work because of the age difference but things were so good and I continue for another 3 months and than broke it with him till we started back up again and this went on for a total of a year and half we were in a relationship did everything you do when your in a relationship I was even very close to his parents and family! Than one day he said his family and friends said you need someone more your age well he looked for that with out me knowing I got a feeling and I ended up finding out he was on a dating apt and saying he was going out with his guy friends but it was dated but still kept me around because he couldn’t find someone and I wash crushed so heart broken but deep down he told me we can’t be a couple! But we did everything a couple dose! I ended it but to this day I’m still hurting over him and can’t believe I stayed with him as long as I did after him telling me on many occasions we r not a couple!!! This is exactly what your talking about!!!!!!!! I will never do this again if anothe man says this to me in the beginning I’m out!!!! Thank you so much for your videos and your advice! Andrea

  11. Jules says:

    Denise I cried, for you, with you & also for myself, when I read your post. I’ve been single for 3 years and haven’t as much as had a date in this time, my choice. I’m participating in what only can be described as a long distance sexting relationship with a guy I’ve never even met! Ever. This has been going on for 2 years now and I’ve convinced myself I’m happy with it. Sadly, for the most part I am. Matthew hit the nail on the head in describing these microdosing behaviours, as a drug. Without them things feels empty, with them life seems better somewhat. I don’t know how I ended up here. Like you, I’m an independent, strong & very attractive woman & I know I have so much to offer! Also like you I’m older, 44, and should really know better so I don’t know how or why I’ve ended up here. Or how to stop, or if I even want to… Even though it appears to be working, it isn’t healthy it’s harmful and I feel ashamed to admit my behaviour to anyone but my closest friends. I’m so sorry for your pain but also if I’m honest a little relieved to hear that I’m not alone. That there are other grown women out there caught in the same trap. Denise, I wish you peace & happiness and also the same for myself xxx

  12. Jen says:

    But I wonder if I can convince him to change his mind.

  13. Mel says:

    Ugh…what a good dose of reality right here. So much truth. I know bc I was stuck in that place with someone for so long. His words said he wanted more, but his actions never did. Thankfully, I am finally climbing my way out of the mess it all left me in.

  14. Julie J says:

    I purposely didn’t watch this for a couple of days because I was afraid it would hit home. It did, and it’s a very hard pill to swallow.

  15. Confused says:

    This might be me but I’m not sure. I’ve known this man for 8 years and I actually love him. 8 years ago when I met him we dated for awhile then he ghosted and we lost contact. Eventually he came back and got back together. So this guy actually worked in my office but not same department. We dated for awhile again but no commitment to each other. Then he he ghosted again and I learn he got back with his ex he claimed he was over. And I’d see him around work sometimes and talking to other females and still me sometime. Then he left and got a new job at a new company and I didn’t see him for a couple years. I went full no contact. But what happened was he came over my place and we got back in contact. I was hesitant getting back together again but it happened. And now I found him on other dating sites so now I’m not sure if I should just ask him if he wants a relationship with me or another person b

  16. Kate says:

    Hi Matt,

    I didn’t realise there was actually a name for it until now! I find your videos so eye-opening and they have really helped me start to address some of the unhealthy ways I approach relationships. Thank-you. I did know it was unhealthy, making me unhappy and stopping me from being open to meeting anyone else which I why I don’t communicate with that person anymore. This person is still taking up emotional space though and there are some days when I just don’t know how to move past it, any advice? I really want to be open to meeting someone else but just can’t seem to get there.

    Kate x

  17. Kate says:

    Oh crap, that’s me.
    I’m not going to say how long I’ve been doing this, because it’s embarrassing.
    And you’re right, it is like a drug. You convince yourself you can move on, and then there’s just one more conversation; just one more meeting etc.
    But just like giving up chocolate (something else I have never managed to do) I’m not entirely sure how to stop doing this.

  18. Catherine says:

    This wisdom is priceless!
    Finding myself in the current dating world as a widow has been a real eye opening experience. I’ve had the good fortune of an emotional healthy marriage of many decades and was shocked to discover the appalling ability of others to be genuine in their actions in the dating realm.
    Microdosing is nothing more than feeding an ego on the part of the one that gives out these little doses of attention. People who are genuine in their pursuit of a relationship will realize when a special person crosses their path and pursue that person. People who have genuine interest in another will make time in their lives beyond texting communication as a point of contact.
    Quite simply, if a relationship has to be forced then let it go and just say no to Microdosing!

  19. Dona parra says:

    Excellent perfect word to describe chasing chasing a dead end relationship and the dopamine factor that keeps you stuck. I put a period on a relationship and now understand why I struggled to regain my emotions even though it was my choice to find someone better. I’m good now and loving me! Thank you Matthew❤❤

  20. Bertte Nader says:

    Hard truth

  21. Nwachukwu lorreta Vivian says:

    Thanks for this wonderful information, Matthew sir.

  22. Sumann says:

    It’s so beautifully explained . It’s a fact Mathew that we keep on micro dosing To such an extent that it can be lethal and it’s not healthy emotionally and psychologically. It’s better to put a question mark and find a life outside such a relationship or situationship which is a kind of a drug n not happiness .

  23. Denise says:

    I have this kind of. The thing is we haven’t slept together in over 20 yrs. he is recently (1.5 years) out of a marriage. We connect online(never meeting even tho same town) we talk about our past relationships. We kind of have a sexting thing going on. He’s not ready to be in a relationship and I totally understand. . A few months go by and I check in to see how he’s doing and he tells me he’s in a relationship . I’m totally blindsided(of course I like him or I wouldn’t care). So it’s been almost a yr. and he’s texting, wanting sex..and like a normal person I don’t understand..I’ve told him..we are adults(he’s 47,I’m 50)why would you be in a relationship if your not 100% fulfilled? Why does he want this from me? Again, we HAVE NOT had sex, and I will not . Why do people behave this way? Why does he not want anything but sex from me? I’m 50 and I’m still running into situations like this?!?! Does it ever end?? I just want someone who wants to spend time with me and that cares about me, I don’t care to be married but do want a long term relationship.

  24. Maddy says:

    Microdosing is very unhealthy for you. You’ll never be happy, or fsatisfied, you will feel empty. It’s a waste of your time and your life.

  25. Jacqueline says:

    I’ve watched this video twice now! Makes so much sense. I just got out of a 20 year marriage and met a man 10 years younger than me. I was not interested at all but he was very charming and persistent. We had a whirlwind summer together and then things cooled a bit and he texts every few days and we see each other but I think I’m a hopeless romantic and he has been hurt too many times by past relationships and so in my heart I know this probably would never work. He disappears for days without so much as a text and I wait for that “text” and feel that exhilaration when I get it! That’s ridiculous of me!!! I know I deserve SOO much more and therefore I will grant myself what I deserve! Thank you for your wisdom!! You are wonderful

  26. Meghan says:

    You’re absolutely right that it’s a drug. And I don’t want that for my life. I don’t want it to an addiction, I truly want health. And the statement is of that person being a period is hard for me to hear, Matthew, because it was my husband you put a period to make an end to our relationship, and I still struggle with the breaking of my heart through this.

  27. Cheri says:

    Its so true. What is so powerfully compelling about this video is I had never in my life experienced this before. I had not met a man that created that kind of rush of happiness and joy of complete what feels like joy. I had men in my life that I liked and enjoyed their company. This man created a feeling so strong and at the same time pulled away indicated he was not available went hot and cold and eventually after two years created a scenario were he had me conditioned to be patient for when he had the time for me, the mental space for me and the mindset for me. Its so dangerous because it slowly erodes your confidence, your energy, your joy and ultimately you feel as this video says unfulfilled.

    I got rid of this man from my life and now I have the emotional space to dream and laugh and be myself again. Because I have closure. Sure it hurt for a bit.
    But in the end it was the best thing I ever did.

    Now I have so much self confidence from this, so much joy in living every day .
    Happiness even.

    Its such a powerful message I absolutely love mathew for putting this together.

  28. J says:

    This is exactly what I’m experiencing right now Matt! So painful, tearing up as I’m typing this. Thank you for this video Matthew!

  29. Candy says:

    I’m so passionate about this video because it is the ultimate abuse of another human being. I’m so passionate about this video because it is the ultimate abuse of another human being. There is a way to stop thinking about these people and eliminate the negative affects on your life. Your mind is the problem and it needs to be stopped. There’s a very simple way to do it. I have ADHD so I listen to all books otherwise I fall asleep. The most influential book in my life they helped me get over procrastination, self-doubt and eliminate people from my life that were harming me is Mel Robbins ‘ The five second rule‘. It’s not just something you read and think about, it something that actually stops your mind from these destructive thoughts it’s action. If you want to take charge of your life, get this book and read or listen or whatever you need to do to absorb this simple action. There’s a way out.

  30. Zanib says:

    This is so much of what I’m doing right now it’s unreal.

  31. M says:

    Dear Matthew,
    WoW, I just watched your vid on microdosing; it completely applies!! But in a kind of opposite way; For over 2 and a half years now a guy from the past keeps texting me and asking me out. He has a girlfriend, I have a family! we’ve seen each other twice since we started texting; once at a party he gave (about a year ago) once in august (for a dinner). He now asked to meet again. I wonder whether this is still a healthy situation or if there could be a way to continu being friends

  32. Claire says:

    I needed this today this is currently my life. Thank you x

  33. Mary says:

    Thank you Matt you always seem to hit it on the head ie saying things right at the correct moment of my life !!! You are awesome!!!

  34. Kristina Denney-Bradshaw says:

    I met a guy 7 months ago and this is what has been happening with him. I understand now after watching this video and I am stopping it right now. You described our relationship perfectly. Time to pull the plug forever. Thank you!!

  35. Disappointed. It could've be been fun. says:

    Wow!.. I’ve been doing this for a few weeks with someone.. never knew it had a name.. But you described it to a T!. I’ve decided 2 days ago actually that I wasn’t going to waste my time and energy anymore on this person… Before him..I was 100% focused on reaching my goals no distractions and then out of the blue! A line that shouldn’t have been crossed.. Was..he made the 1st move. 2nd move 3rd etc…. He showed the interest, loads of effort… I was open to it.. We agreed to casual..but I hadn’t been with someone in a long time; years… I’m not that type of girl.. So I wanted to get to know him more get comfortable because.. Again I’ve never done this before.. I explained that to him he seemed so understanding And willing And sweet… He moved faster than I was ready for but things happened … Twice.. And then all the effort and interest just dwindled..he’ll send a text here n there but there effort to make conversations. I’m disappointed because it could have been so much fun!!.. Anyway yeah. I decided to download a dating app and happily distracted. It’s hard to ignore someone when they send you a text… I don’t want to make it seem like I’m not talking to him because I’m mad or whatever… I don’t want him to know that he’s gotten under my skin like this.

  36. Amy B says:

    Matt, I don’t know where you came from or where you trained, but you are wise beyond your years. You really are doing good for so many people by exposing the crap men who come in a beautiful wrapper or who blind us with their smooth talking (we all know some).
    Keep at it and power to you.

  37. DEBBIE says:


  38. Carla says:

    That makes such good sense, wasting our time with somebody that doesn’t want to invest in us. Thank you so much for your great insight.

  39. Tammy Cherry says:

    I totally agree with this. I have suffered through it more than once. Changed my patterns and left the period.

  40. Summer SHI says:

    Hi,I basically never read stuff like that .but somehow tonight I read ,and it is so related with my life .a man that I slept with once came back to my life after 7 years no contact ,not telling me straight If he is still in marriage ,just told me he had been alone for a year .since I became a Christian after the only one time sex which I felt grateful about ,and I told him I am looking for a marriage and I want sex in the marriage .he told me he never wanted to get married again .I was going to see him in the states .but now I’m stuck in China ,well .he asked me if he was not in the states would I go to find him ,I said yes, for I really thought he was the answer of my prayers .but when I knew he maybe just want some time fun .god .i can’t ..He cheated on his wife before the wedding ceremony and he told me ,(not with me ).for I was his good friend .later I knew something was bad in his marriage .and I developed an affection with him .and for my only time in life I chose to sleep with him ,for ending the affection I had with him ,otherwise I was afraid it could be some affair which I truly hate cheating .anyway ,after the only sex we had over 7 years ago ,he immigrated to the states and I started to believe in god . Now since I returned the flight tickets and he paid half of the amount that he said he would pay ,he deleted me and even blacklisted me .it was like a real break up for me kind of .for over 7 years ago ,after leaving him .i never felt that sad .just thought what I had with his was over .well .yeah .i want a marriage .and I want sex in marriage for the blessings .I thought it was nothing for so meaningless that leads to some emptiness if there is only sex .i want to be someone’s helper .when I was with him .he just had a daughter.i told him I can be a step mother but not a concubine .anyway .he totally blocked me .and somehow I need to turn my focus to God again .yeah it is sad .when I deeply was looking for something more .however he was just hoping some easy sweet time like before .

  41. Beejay says:

    Oh my God, the this is SO powerful! It makes so much sense.

  42. Rebecca Pukansky says:

    That was truly eye opening! I’m in that exact situation right now. I don’t know how to cut things off with him the next time I hear from him .

  43. Rebekah says:

    my guy friends have stopped talking to me not sure why

  44. Anna says:

    I am experiencing this exact situation at the moment, it has been going on for about 6 months now and I don’t know how to let it go. It is killing me.

  45. Tracy Tychynski says:

    You’re right

  46. Reno says:

    This is, by far, the best, most spot-on, valuable video of yours I’ve seen. It has really opened up my eyes to what I’ve been going through. Thank you for this!!

  47. Theresa Fridell says:

    Wow Im so thankfull for this!!
    Exact what I needed to hear

  48. Patricia G Cole says:

    Cant watch video error acurred

    • MH Team - Sara says:

      Hi, Patricia! I’m so sorry to hear that you’re encountering a video error. Here is the YouTube video link so you can watch Matthew’s video! Thank you for reaching out to us about this. Take care, Sara – MH Team

  49. Alien says:

    What if u see this person each day…how to act

  50. Monique says:

    I totally relate to this…it’s almost like the more the last guy didn’t want me and made zero effort with me the more I wanted him so badly. I was checking my phone all the time consumed that hopefully he will one day decide he wanted me. My friends had had enough of me talking about him analysing the situation. Then one day he messaged me and I didn’t feel that happiness anymore to hear from him, I actually felt a little sick and finally I was ready to move on and I told him I deserved better and I started dating other guys. You are the only one who can end this cycle of toxic behaviour

  51. Kimberly Hixson says:

    Hi Matthew
    I subscribe to many of your courses and I find them very valuable. I am dating a man that I consider to be high value and we have been seeing each other for 6 months. We are both divorced after 20+ year marriages and met each after being single for about 2 and 3 years, respectively.

    We enjoy each other’s company and see each other once or twice a week. We don’t stay at each others houses as we both have teenage children at home. We are able to spend more time together through weekend trips we have taken.

    My question is about communication. He is from India originally, been in North America for about 12 years and it is very usual in his culture to be divorced and to be dating an American born woman. When he first started dating he said “I’m going to tell my kids, my siblings, friends we are dating”. But he hasn’t. When questioned by a family member he just said “I will tell you when I’m dating someone” and he didn’t mention me. I’ve asked him if he’s any other concerns and that is why he is not sharing and he ultimately said “maybe baggage from the marriage has him hesitant to share with family and friends yet”. I’ve introduced him to a few of my friends, my children no I’m dating someone but I’ve not introduced them as I don’t feel comfortable with my kids meeting him until he has at least told his kids he is dating.

    I’m understand his culture and his hesitation, but I’m hurt that he isn’t sharing the truth with his family and friends.

    Would like your advise.

  52. Anu says:

    Nice advice

  53. Katina Cook says:

    Just what I needed Matt. I’m gonna begin exploring the question marks and leave the period behind. I’m tired of hurting. 19 months is a long time for yo-yo romances. I’m a loyal person with soooo much life in me to live. I need to start being loyal to myself and living that life, with or without a partner.

  54. Leslie says:

    Hi Matt. I was widowed after 32 years of marriage a couple of years ago. I enjoy meeting new people and I’m ready to date but after being “out of circulation” for so long, I’m finding modern dating to be a bit intimidating and confusing. I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months, and I think our “ relationship” fits in to this category (microdosing). I’m not sure I want a LTR right now, but thanks to you I realize I’m wasting my time and energy with this guy. Time to move on.

  55. Paola says:

    thanks matthew for this very insightful, video, this is what I’m going through at the moment I met a guy, we got on great, well at least I thought so, we have been texting non stop at the beginning, we met up, great first date, I always ask him how he was in our text, and asked on more than one occasion if he’d like to meet up again, how was his day, I was being proactive, and yes I got that rush when he text me back, but with little interest in my day or anything else… I was microdosing

  56. Carol says:

    It’s not that easy Matt. It’s not that easy

  57. Xx says:

    I cut off all contacts to the guy that told me he was not ready for a relationship – I did what you say one should do. That was 4 months ago and I still cannot get him out of my head. I was so in love and I think I still am. I’ve been out, doing sports and stuff I’ve never done before, spending time with family and friends, I’ve been on more dates the past 4 months than I was during 2 previous years when I was single. But I still cannot get him out of my head. No other guy has been able to create the kind of butterflies in me as the other one. And I’ve really been trying to give other guys a chance because I’m so fed up with feeling this way about a guy that doesn’t feel this about me. I would want nothing more than to meet someone great, but it’s like he has kidnapped my brain and feelings. I don’t know what to do anymore.

  58. Tajha Keenan says:

    Another wonderful piece of insight. It’s been a process of self love knowing to hold out for someone wanting a true connection. Learning the signs of truth has been hard but amazingly beautiful ❤️

  59. Heidi Huffman says:

    I have been following Matthew for sometime now and this is the most powerful and convincing video I’ve read! Thank goodness I have finally got the strength to move on from this painful relationship!

  60. S says:

    Thanks Matt. Needed to hear this. But it’s so hard to cut him out. It’s like addiction :(

  61. Martina says:

    I will start going for happiness..

  62. Beverly Boucher says:

    Matt’s I have been doing that just waiting for that text to come. We met on line and have talked on line and on phone for two months and have not met but he says we will meet. Now he is supposed to be working in Africa and I feel left alone and I have not even met him yet. Extreme anxiety and painful when he dies not reply for days. When I did it to him he was so worried I found someone else.

  63. S.A.L says:

    In a love gap relationship for 7 years . Initially he didn’t want children and marriage. Until just recently he did and I already have 2 kids and don’t want anymore.. it’s obvious we are at an fork in the road. The video has a very clear message and speaks volumes but it’s hard after so much time vested in a relationship to say goodbye and best of luck finding that person. Which brings me to the video on the last girl before he marries which ultimately I am ! Sorry for the long winded comment Thxs for the video is very helpful

  64. Gayle says:

    Matthew you are so on point with everything you just said! That is the exact situation I am in once again. The good news is I’ve been learning so much from you and trying to apply your great coaching to my life. I will not continue to invest in men that cannot invest in me. I’m to old to waste time. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life old habits are so difficult to change but I know if I continue on this path and live my authentic life I will attract the “right” guy for me. I’m so grateful to have found you. Thank you for helping women… good women that have low self esteem low self worth due to damage and pain. But deserve the best in love and relationships and most important the relationship with ourselves.

  65. Emily Brakeman says:

    This is my exact scenario! So much that I changed his contact name on my phone to !

  66. Lia says:

    Spot on Matthew! It took me an entire year to realize this. Three weeks after I told him “no more” and blocked all communication, I met someone who fulfills me in more ways than that other person could. Have the courage to let go; only then will we see what we deserve Thank you Matthew!!

  67. Candy says:

    People who say they don’t want anything more but still keep spending time with you are satisfying their own needs and probably not even caring what they’re doing to you. Not even thinking what they’re doing to you. These are immoral degenerate people that are probably cheating on somebody else at the same time. They are not worth your thoughts nor your time.

  68. Deborah says:

    Pretty ironic how I came to this conclusion last night. – finally realized I cannot keep letting this person back in as it always hurts when they leave and I dint hear from them for weeks. I want more.. You video confirmed my thoughts. Thank you Matthew

  69. SASS says:

    So true!… :/ Thank you for keep pointing that out!

  70. Candy says:

    The person that keeps going back after they’ve said they don’t want anything more with the other person is a disgusting human being. They are just using this other person. These kind of people make me sick to my stomach.

  71. Kwp says:

    Its true.. I am in this situation now.. Though how much i try to ignore that person. How much i avoid.. He still comes back to me. He knows i have feelings. I have told it in a couple of times. But he himself never express or give me the answer, so that i can move on. For many years, i had this pain. It feels like i am being used. I want to stop this because i am tired of this situation… And mathew your video was a relief. Thank you!!

  72. Vicki says:

    I call it the “Cat Nip” effect!

  73. Alicja says:

    Hi, thank you so muchvfor this video! I was in such relationship for months, when the guy behaved like a boyfriend but didnt want to call me his girlfriend. It damaged me. I feel even after a break up horrible. He broke up with me first, than we tried again and than i reslised, i cannot do it any longer. Slso with help from you, Matthew. This decision was right. But still it is very painful experience and if i could turn time back, I would never ever do it again. My selfwworth is completely down, cause I had to experience for a long time, I am not good enough to be his girlfgriend, to be loved… i feel used… he dpent almost every weekend at my place, I cooked for us, he never gave me money for this. He just took what he wanted and i was so stupid and let him use my love, my attention, my help.

  74. Sherie says:

    Once again you’ve hit the nail on the head with everything there Matt. I’ve been there and it’s so refreshing to break free.

  75. T says:

    Story of my life. I wish there were rehabs for this addiction :(

  76. Tendo says:

    Dear Matt, wow thank you. I didn’t know that, that’s what is called. I’ve been going through this fo the past year!!!! I loved him so much, but Recently I called it off. And I was sooo sooo sad!! But I know I’ll be fine. Anyways I just wanted to say thank you.

  77. Cherisse says:

    Thank you for this. Right on time. Le sigh…. So hard to let go of happily ever afters.

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