🚨Are You “Moving Too Fast” for Him?

Flakey… Armed with excuses… And guilty of the high crime of wasting your time…

MPI’s are some of the smoothest criminals…

Watch the video below for this critical bulletin…

Have You Encountered an MPI Guy? Tap to Subscribe and Leave a Comment Below…

Narrator:

The mission of the MPI is to extract the maximum amount of attention with the Minimum Possible Investment. These are their stories.

Blaine:

Ma’am, do you have any idea how fast you were going?

Woman:

Normal speed?

Blaine:

Normal speed? As in, you normally move that fast?

Woman:

I don’t know.

Blaine:

You don’t know? Yeah, well, too fast for me, cupcake.

Woman:

I’m sorry, is this going anywhere?

Blaine:

Hmm, sounds like you’re in a hurry.

Woman:

Well, sort of, yeah.

Blaine:

What did you just say?

Woman:

I don’t want to waste my time. Is that a crime?

Blaine:

MPI to Bravo, we have a possible female commitment situation here. Please advise.

Woman:

Are you serious?

Blaine:

Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Me getting serious after only 17 dates?

Woman:

Yeah. I would like that.

Blaine:

Ma’am, you need to calm down right now.

Woman:

I am calm right now. I was calm seven minutes ago when you got a text and I asked who it was.

Blaine:

Hold it right there.

Woman:

And you started getting all weird and pacing around the room.

Blaine:

Ma’am–

Woman:

Doing that breathing thing that you do…

Blaine:

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Woman:

And the eye twitch. So, I was like, “Okay, I’ll just go,” and I got in my car, and now we’re here, doing this thing. In your driveway.

Woman:

Where did you even get a costume that quickly? It is very convincing.

Blaine:

I have the right to remain silent. Anything I say can and will be used against me. MPI to Bravo, need exit strategy. Do you copy?

Speaker 4:

Bravo to MPI. Do not engage. Repeat: Do not get engaged.

Blaine:

Copy that.

Woman:

Engaged? I’m not asking to get engaged. I’m asking who was texting you, and you get so defensive. Like, who even keeps their phone holstered like that?

Blaine:

Ma’am, step away from the phone. You’re endangering yourself and our relationship.

Woman:

And I’m done.

Blaine:

MPI to Bravo, suspect has hit it and is trying to quit it.

Woman:

And by the way, this childish, can’t-have-a-relationship-conversation bullshit is a massive turn-off.

Blaine:

Shots fired! Officer down… Ego bruised… Need back-up… Woman… I’m too old for this shit.

Sarah:

Oh, my God! Are you wounded?

Blaine:

I’ve been hurt. Not in a good place right now.

Sarah:

Okay. Stay with me.

Blaine:

What’s your name?

Sarah:

I’m Sarah.

Blaine:

Blaine Topher, MPI.

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

30 Responses to 🚨Are You “Moving Too Fast” for Him?

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  1. curious georgia says:

    what’s a MPI?

  2. Rose Dayal says:

    Oh wow. This might be the absolute best video I’ve ever seen. You nailed it Mathew. LOVE it!!!!

  3. SherryC says:

    Best video yet!! Loved it!

    Mine locked me down right away by asking me to be his girlfriend, telling me he loved me, good morning/goodnight texts daily & “how are you?” texts during the day…but basically neglected me in every other way for 7 of the 8 months we were “together” Then he unknowingly asked my friend out on a different dating website than we met on…she sent me the screenshots & I broke up with him that day!! Brutal!

    He’s still trying to weasel his way back and it’s been 4 months!

  4. Melisa says:

    Hello .i dont no wT you mean wyt MPI bat der aer very sick people so thenx for your considering mi for samthing laik this ,bat i hops dat you ken hev olveys god laif bikoz i hew very nais laif, i heb nod nidit eny help samthing o bat your job .i hew think dat you truly aer helping people bat you hew disappointed mi .so best ,bat not more for ever frend ,onesli i think dat you ken not vat dat mind .God helpt you .Melisa

  5. Moni says:

    So hilarious and so true! The MPIs can be so irresistible that we forget our standards and so charming that we CHOOSE to believe their lies, don’t we? Matt your videos and insight into relationships have helped me a lot to be less gullible and see through the scam and gain confidence to leave and never look back (almost) when I met an MPI. And your American accent is so cool, though I have a soft spot for the British one and your clever sense of humour is absolutely amazing!

  6. Moni says:

    So hilarious and so true! MATT your videos and insight into relationships have helped me a lot to be less gullible and see through the scam and gain confidence to leave when I met an MPI. And your American accent is so cool, though I have a soft spot for the British one.

  7. Della says:

    This is the second time I’ve allowed him back into my life. Furst 3 month stretch I fell hard. He always said I was the “best”. Referring to me as a best friend. Thoughtful, always spending lots of time together, Day trips, dinners, bbq’s. No commitment. Then one day he said he’d met someone???

    Now 6 month’s later, were hanging around again. No title to “what” we are, same scenario, What am I, nuts ???

  8. Julie says:

    Loved it. That was fantastic.

  9. Anna says:

    I was just like a Blaine and I think he moved on to Sarah after we broke up. Is there any chance to get him back?

  10. Debs says:

    Freaking hilarious. Lived it. Probably your funniest video Matt and I love them all. Got to the point tho. Keep up the good work

  11. Melisa says:

    Zdravo .Nadam se da u novoj godini imas jos vise uspeha,realno gledan ja razumem tebe i nadam se da qe stobom biti dobro ,zato ne brini za mene ima jos gorih situacija kroz koje ljudi prolaze zasluzili to ili ne .Ja sam dobro i veoma srecna zbog moje dece ,takodje cenim mogucnos koja mi se pruza da prezivljavam svoj zivot (sa fizickim bolom ,ali zato postoje specializovani ljudi koji mi pomazu da sto je moguce kroz manje boli da prezivim dok mi ne odrastu deca i da sam srecna sa njima)tako da prijatelju zaista te pozdravljam i zelim ti sve najbolje u novoj 2020 godini puno ljubavi nadam se iskrenih vise poslovnih mogucnosti i nadam se da ti je bilo drago da malo popricamo i da vidis kolikou u svetu nezavisno koje race ,nacionalnost ili religije da postoje ljudi koji zaista vole zivot kakav imaju ,nije sve u parama sa ljubavlju i srecom i dobrim osobinama jos ima nade za dobru buducnost sa dobrim ljudima i sa prelepom decom .Zato tebi zelim sve najlepse a posebno u ljubavnom zivotu ,drugarica Melisa.

  12. Johanna says:

    Hahaha :D Yes! The last guy I was dating started to read between the lines and making up things about my personality. When I told him that all he was saying had nothing to do with the reality he told me that I cannot rebut everything he says. And of course, we couldn’t have a conversation about him saying that something has changed in him and he had a change of heart about us dating.

  13. Jess says:

    Hahaha. This is just too real. Definitely the last relationship I was in. I almost feel like some of the behaviours are precursors to more abusive tendencies (like saying one thing and then pretending we never had that conversation or making things up and pretending we DID have that conversation – e.g., sending texts about ‘jumping in’, and then saying ‘we were never dating’ when we had a conversation about dating. – feels like gaslighting).

    I have no doubt my MPI is now pulling the same wounded routine with someone else to help ease the blow I know I caused to his ego when I ended things.

  14. Agnes says:

    What an incredibly made video!! Matthew Hussey you are a genius! I loved your play!!!

  15. Shers says:

    Haha! This is so funny! Thanks for the laugh this morning. BTW, using your techniques and honesty has helped me with the man in my life right now. He even watches your videos so we can discuss then together.
    Happy Holidays!

  16. Nolita says:

    So funny and insightful! Well done!

  17. Nez Cornish says:

    I have but it’s not other women so to speak it always their work. They have hectic lifestyles we’re they need to commit day and night. A text or call or meeting becomes too much effort. And I’m not allowed to bring up the topic as I’m either sounding like a nag, or apparently I don’t understand. Or I can have a relationship but not full on. They should be allowed to ghost me when it suits them and call me when it suits them.

  18. LT says:

    Hilarious and fabulously spot on! Love that she had the strength to exit…but seems much harder to do in real life. And even harder to not be drawn back in by his microscopic and sporadic attention that is like a flickering lightbulb. You hope it’s going to turn on but it really never does for good.

  19. Cindy says:

    LOVED your American accent (certainly a Brit couldn’t have been part of the MPI taskforce…or, is it just a question of uniform?) Lol!

  20. OmgWoman says:

    Embarrassed to say I dated an MPI for almost 4 years lol!

  21. Julie says:

    That was so good! you nailed it

  22. Christina says:

    Hi Matt,
    That was brilliant ! I am a Detective in LA, I loved the backup calls for help! Very true and you look Hot as an Officer btw.

    Christina

  23. Heather says:

    Yes I think so. I have been talking and dating him for a whole you. He will come around talk to me the ghosts me when i get emotional or talk about more of a commitment. Just when i get strong, let him go, and start to get over him and be om. He contacts me agian!

  24. Thureya Roberts says:

    Ahahahahahahahahaaa!!! Brilliant.

  25. Mallorie says:

    This is so good! Sad but hilarious. Amazing illustration

  26. Annabelle says:

    I actually just cut contact with my MPI last night. Several hours later, this arrived in my inbox… There are signs, and there are SIGNS (more specifically, scripts which seem to be based on your actual life!)

    Matthew, I am genuinely grateful for your existence.

    Happy Christmas, btw! Hope you have a lovely time this holiday season <3

  27. Katja says:

    OMG Matthew you’re a genius!!! You give me self-esteem and the feeling that I have the right to ask questions and to want a relationship. So important and you do it in a fun, entertaining and memorable way, which is huge and just makes me feel good and safe. Lots of love, Katja

  28. Marilyn Garcia says:

    This was awesome. Seems like everyone that I meet is an MPI.

    Help!

  29. Lina says:

    HAHAHA Matt is genius! So funny! jeez I can imagine all the work they put into this video. Great one.

  30. Martina says:

    That was soo good ahahah
    Btw: got the message, thank you! ☺️

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