‘Be Yourself’ – Bad Advice?
Today’s video I’ve been wanting to share with you for a while.
There’s a piece of advice you’ve heard hundreds of times before that could be really holding you back.
‘Be yourself’. Seems like good advice right?
That’s what makes this line so insidious.
On the surface we feel it’s helpful, but the truth is it rarely serves us.
When someone says ‘be yourself’ all it does is give us validation for staying the same and not taking risks.
It’s a polite way of saying, ‘be who you are now, don’t explore being more evolved, advanced, or daring.’
It implies you know who you are, but do you really?
Many of us when asked this look in the rear-view mirror, looking at who we’ve been in the past.
I don’t think that our behaviours and habits are who we are. We should never confuse who we are at our core with the behaviours we’ve adopted over time.
There are parts of ourselves we won’t have experienced in a long time, or that we’ve never experienced because we haven’t pushed ourselves in certain directions.
We find out who we are by having new experiences, adventures, by trying things, figuring out what we like and don’t like, and by judging our actions upon reflection.
But we only know all this when we take chances.
If I had followed the advice ‘be yourself’ I never would have stepped up on stage to start public speaking. I was terrified of it growing up and thought I didn’t enjoy it. But once I began to get good at it, I began to adopt it as part of ‘me’.
We always have to be questioning who we think we are.
When did you decide you were any one thing? And how do you know it’s really true?
Stop trying to sit there ‘discovering’ who you are, and start DESIGNING who you want to be.
Figure out who you want to be and the goals you want to have.
–What type of person do you have to be to achieve these goals?
This is a much more practical question than trying to discover who we are.
Are you choosing the route you’re choosing because it’s really who you are, or are you saying this is who you are to avoid something you’re afraid of?
Keep taking risks, mess around with who you are, try new things, and dabble in different ideas and with different personality traits to come to a conclusion yourself from the experiences you have in your life.
If you want to hear more about this type of stuff, my Retreat program is the place where I really get into this. It’s where I go deep, helping you figure out what you really want from your life. I have one program left this year that’s not sold out in Florida in November. To check out more about it, click here.
Question of the day…
What’s one new personality trait you can try on for size this week? How can you shake things up and do something you wouldn’t normally? Let me know in the comments below!