Our Christian Carter review: Christian Carter, bestselling author of the book “Catch Him and Keep Him” talks about one little mistake that so many women make on dates.
To quote Christian Carter in his own words: “Don’t make the guy feel that you are a pessimist. Leave your woes at home”.
This is something I talk about on my seminars when I stress the importance of not bringing your emotional baggage to the first date. What do I mean by emotional baggage? Quite simply, anything that instantly reveals a level of neediness or insecurity that is immediately going to turn a guy off.
Prime examples of this are talking about ex boyfriends who have hurt you in the past. Sometimes this can happen with a certain type of divorced woman, who is so wrapped up in all the bad things that her ex husband has done, that they can’t help but chew a guy’s ears off on the first date ranting about all the ways that they felt let down by their ex.
This kind of talk immediately spells alarm signals for the guy you are on a date with.
Here’s the secret: Talk about the future… not the past
See, it’s not that I’m asking you to bury all of your insecurities or problems and pretend they don’t exist. It’s simply as Christian Carter reminds us “The first date is not a time to discuss these”.
The purpose of a first date should only ever be to connect and have fun. So many people (men included!) treat dating like it’s a job interview, like they have to get out all of the relevant information as if you’re both trading CV’s!
But this kind of talk doesn’t make you feel connected; all it does is bring up issues that have no place being brought up until you know the person well enough to let them into your life a bit more.
So if you take one piece of advice to your next date it’s this: Focus on the Future, not the Past.
Guy’s LOVE a woman who has a lot of exciting things in the future they are looking forward to. If he can see that you’re focus is in enjoying now and all the great things coming up in your life, he’s going to want to be a part of that.