Today I want to give you a mindset shift.
If you’re like most of the women I coach, you’re looking at attraction (and my advice) the wrong way.
You’re asking a question that is forcing you to make compromises and that can lead guys to lose their respect for you.
I see so many women who are hung up on “one guy”, and if that’s you, you need to see this video…
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66 Replies to “Crush Your Scarcity Mindset With This…”
First Comment :) Loved it, Matthew! :)
I miss when you would interact with us in the comments, Matthew!
Hope you are well :)
I have to be honest I can’t stand when a guy “starts” liking me because all of a sudden it seems I’m out there doing something. I feel like it’s a slap in the face that now he sees the worth that has been there all along but I don’t sit around trying to make a guy like me if he does great if not then why would I want to be with a guy that I have to win over.
Change of subject….the wind is howling outside and it’s so cold…I love it :)
Finally. THIS is the video. Not sure who edited this, but its great, finally speaking with the stakes raised where they should be. You have reached a place where I am so clear that your level of confidence and expertise on this subject matter has taught you to TELL US exactly the way we need to HEAR. Amazing work. Seriously – not just marketing to us, but really understanding us. And, after all, that is what helps you translate this message into an A-HA moment for women. Kudos.
Matt, Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is SPOT ON for me and perfect timing as well. I’d fallen into the trap of “this one guy…” and have been driving myself nuts with it this week, knowing it’s pointless but doing it anyway. After watching your video, I now have the motivation I need to stop giving a damn and truly let it go… Btw, does having a crush on you as well make it not about “just one guy?” ;) Keep up the great work! xo
This is such a great video, Matt. Thanks for reminding not to make myself so small when it comes to men and that self-love is so important! I’ve been telling myself for months that the hurt I feel could be healed by a man, yet I couldn’t seem to get past the initial encounters because I did not have enough confidence or respect for myself. I think I’m finally on the right track, and when I’m ready, I’ll start to develop my taste and try out a few fellas!
Thank you so much!
I love this video. I’m going through this right now at work, so I’ll have to remind myself of Matt’s advice to get on with doing the things I like and enjoy and getting out there and meeting more men!
WOW. WOW. WOW. WOW. WOW.
MATTHEW FREAKING-AMAZING HUSSEY. WHERE THE HELL DID THE ENERGY LEVEL IN THIS COME FROM? This was AMAZING.
Thank you Thank you!
(yah. so maybe I needed to hear this message.)
Dude–I vote “Matthew Hussey” for everything .. Next Dr. Phil. President of the US. You name it.
Seriously, keep eating whatever you are eating, Matthew, because your peeps need these messages, and you sure know how to tell it to us!!
Thinking about people is a way of investing and makes them more desirable. Never looked at this in that way. I definitely make people unreachable in my mind. Thanks Matt
I love all your advice. I just don’t have the cash flow right now to buy your videos. Keep em coming.. I’ve been applying a lot of you in my life. Thank again…..
:) i need to go out more…then! :)
this one is so great Matt! THANK YOU!
I don’t think there is a scarcity of men. And like Jill below, I do get faintly annoyed when I’m focusing on myself and men decide to be attracted to me. I just can’t focus on them then. Because my own goals are more important and I need all my focus to make those goals happen.
Attraction does take some energy. For me I do have to focus on the person or I won’t feel attracted to them. It’s very difficult for me to be attracted or dating someone while focusing on some of my challenging life goals. Guys do it too. When their blueprint says are about work, they are about work first and not settling down with someone.
The fact that there are a lot of men out there can be a another issue. A lot of people to sort through. Most of them you won’t be attracted to. Lather, rinse. Repeat. I think that’s why people choose to focus on one, whether that one likes them or not. Otherwise it seems like a neverending carousel of men you don’t want.
But scarcity? Nah. There are plenty of men out there. Plenty.
On a separate note, I have a positive story to share, though it’s not about getting a guy.
In December you challenged us to go out and find someone in four weeks for NYE. As per the challenge, I didn’t turn down any holiday parties. I went in the snow, etc.
I went to one party and it was a small one and I was glad I went. I met the hostess’ entire family. Now, when I interact with her and the people who were at the party again, I have an entirely different sense of ease around her and all of them. I feel vaguely closer to all of them from seeing them after dark, I guess. It’s really nice!
So an interesting side effect I’m noticing now from the NYE challenge. Feeling closer to people you interact with regularly is a good thing.
I think for me, the key will be meeting people in a regular setting over time. The advice about interacting with strangers is good, but for me using those skills with people I’ll know a while seems to be bearing fruit in a different way.
“Banterous”?? :-) I love when your passion overtakes your vocabulary Matt! Regardless, the ideas are bang on as usual.
I have been following all of your videos for quite a time and oh my, i do agree that guys around me are amazing! I mean now I can’t talk about 1 guy with my friends haha. I talk about lots, lots of them. But you know, this makes me hard to be faithful, too bad! Sometimes you have crushes not for only one person, right?
Looooolll. Thanks for continually crushing the boring status quo. Nice tan btw. This video is so real. At the start of this year I gave up on the two guys I was trying to get. I’d built up pictures in my mind of them that weren’t even real and I couldn’t be my usual ambitious-scatty-inspired-relaxed-weird-funny self around them. This year I set goals for myself eg buying my first house, increasing my income, starting a philosophy class, reading more non-fiction etc and it empowered me. I can go up to randoms and start conversations when I’m in the right mood even whatever they look like (after all I’m only talking, no big deal). Eg last month I went to a friends house warming party on my own and left with 5 new friends (including 2 nice good looking guys).
A couple weeks after a single but happy valentines day I met a guy who I’m currently dating. Then a few weeks later my ex got in touch with me to reconcile via my brother (nice but of course I’m not going back or becoming friends). During Easter I met another two guys of which one I’m attracted to, the other is friend potential. Tempted to date the first as well but he’s a friend of family so not too sure. But my point is when you loose focus on the ideals in your mind, calm down but stay open, live your own passions and allow good energy to flow in/out of you the possibilities of the people you meet and things you achieve are endless. I complete on my first house mid June, I start a self-employed job next week along side my full time work, I started part 2 of my class 2 weeks ago, I’m on a new workout/food plan and my summer reads list is full. It’s strange how it’s all coming together but I like it :-)
It’s so great to hear that such shift of focus is really working! This is something I have to finally start doing. I’ve wasted three years thinking about one guy from my university and he turned out to be a complete idiot, however I idealised him for no good reason, since I haven’t even had a real-life conversation with him, for three years. I can’t believe how much time and mental energy I have wasted on that idiot. This is the biggest mistake every girl can make. Thank you for this comment! :)
Tell us how you really feel about this subject , Matt. I don’t think you were quite passionate enough ! ;-)
Great words as always!! Keep them coming!! xxoo
Perfect. Just what I needed. I have been going through exactly this at work lately, and it sucks. I personally understand why I have been caught up by two guys at work at this moment, because to be honest with you I am not meeting guys outside of work right now. And it is something I really can’t change during the next couple of weeks, because I have exams and papers to write for uni aswell, all due during the next couple of weeks. BUT. I will def try to get out more once my holiday starts. Again, I really needed this video so thank you. I love how “worked up” you are about this issue, it makes it seem even more ridiculous now how I have been “pining” for this one guys attention, without actually doing anything about the matter, other than daydreaming.. buuu! Great advice, I will try my hardest to follow them ;)
Your so right 8(….. why do we d
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