3 REAL Cures For Loneliness…

I realized a huge truth about getting rid of loneliness that I didn’t mention in last week’s video.

Learn this simple-yet-powerful concept, and you’ll have an essential tool to create happy, meaningful relationships and feel connected again…


►► You don’t have to do it alone. Let’s take this life-changing journey together…MatthewHusseyRetreat.com

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431 Replies to “3 REAL Cures For Loneliness…”

  1. Hi Matthew!!You are such an inspiration and so genuine. Thankyou!! Im not a lonely girl. I am fortunate to have great friends and family. I am divorced and do struggle at times with the issue that i can attract men..but not so great with keeping them. This is an issue that helps me realize my fear of connection which in turn leads me to your videos. So in reality, it is a good thing. I believe my fear of connection comes from believing i dont have much to offer. I was in a 2 year relationship after a long marriage and the relationship ended a year ago. I dated like a crazy woman..one after the other..no connection..and I realize now that I was looking for love. Then the 2 year realtionship and then he left..trying to make it look like I was unhappy..but perhaps we both were. Not sure. Since that time I have dedicated myself to finding out why I have such a fear of committment to someone I am head over heels in love with..and trying to become involved in things that i am passionate about. I am not really looking for love at this point but the journey about a fulfilled life for me is on the same path! I am blessed!! Thanks again Matthew for using your passion and humor to inspire and guide us. I think you are very funny too!! You make me laugh!!

  2. I feel lonely all the time but I got so useD to it and it became a part of my life and doesn’t bother me. I don’t feel lonely when I am at work. I work in the hospital and I help people with chronic condition and it makes me less lonely to be a part of something amazing like my job or when I donate blood

  3. Hi super video , these moments always come and go specially when u alone at nite but Matt you are the best .. Like u said we are all here for each other so cheers to that and yes i am dealing with it regularly so I know it’s tough but friends always help

  4. Matthew,

    I am that one person that always watches your videos, but never comments. So here is my quick: Hi.

    Thanks for sharing this video. You are very right – we ‘decide’ what outcome we want to choose for our feelings and it often takes only a few milliseconds for ourselves to do so. Being physically alone does not mean that we are psychologically lonely. My receipt for this: I try to turn ever ‘alone moment’ in an ‘appreciate, grow, shine, and rise feeling’.

    Have a wonderful happy (even if physically being alone) Sunday.

    Alina

  5. Matthew,
    I appreciate that you genuinely care about people. All people. Everywhere. You work relentlessly to help day to day folk make sense of the maddness going on around us.
    I don’t frequent these videos as much as I should but do get a kick & a smile & a little bit better understanding of life from the ones I do watch.
    Thank you for being a positive secret silver lineing of hope, our bright ray of sunshine in a sea of internet troll comments as you show us ways to stand out in any crowd & surge forward through the cell phone checking zombies to forge real connections w real people.
    I applaud you for it!
    Thank you!

    (Ps- you can read HP w the Game of Thrones Inspired cloak any day! :)

  6. Cheers to you Jameson for perfectly timing (an incredibly accurate, lol) GOT reference the day of the season finale! It’s because “you drink and you know things” :)
    Cheers to each of the women who were brave and courageous enough to share their most vulnerable moments with everyone. You are beautiful souls and your openness is helping so many of us within this community of soul sisters (and guys too!)

  7. Thank you for your sincere desire to leave the world a better place than you found it Mathew. That comes across loud and clear in your message and resonates with me. That connection of hearts’ desire leaves me feeling uplifted, hopeful and yes, a little less lonely than it found me. Thank you for reminding me that I have the tools I need to connect wherever and whenever I want to. You are a remarkable young man and a blessing to many.

  8. Matthew, I am sure u must have an amazing someone in your life. But, maybe u don’t. Anyway. Here’s ME being Vulnerable. I would so enjoy a friendly date with YOU. I find u extremely passionate. Kind. And REAL. You make me laugh out loud. (not many can). Plus your a very handsome man. The accent doesn’t hurt either;) I particularly like how u say the word “beautiful” and “tools”. In your loneliness video I liked how you weren’t afraid to swear when u said “Bulls##t” to make your point. I like your style. Whoever “she” is must be a special lady to be in your company. You seem magical.

  9. Hi Matthew,
    So much truth in this, as always. As you said, loniless often goes down to feeling of less value and feeling deprived of meaningful connection. I can only agree with you. But being vulnerable is incredibly difficult and cannot be forced. Therefore it would be great if you could dedicate one video exclusively to vulnerability.

  10. There are many things happening in the world that make us feel lonely. I was just in Spain on holiday during the terrorist attacks, and watched the country pull up like an armadillo. I see huge rates of divorce, young people connecting to smart phones but not to people. Escalating depression rates. Reaching out is so important. At the end of every service at my church there us a row of trained people there to support anyone who needs prayer – some days, there are queues. I an blessed to have developed a strong network of friends when I moved here 3 years ago, as I knew nobody – and I knew I would need support because I moved to a large parcel in a forest, and I’m single. I’m now a life coach for women dealing with fear. Matthew, I love your work and your wisdom, you are loved. Please don’t stop what you do.

  11. You’re so right about vulnerability. As the daughter of a Royal Marine, I have been programmed to behave in every way the opposit of being vulnerable. Being tough, having muscles, being strong, were all the things that got me validation as I grew up and I took this into the world with me. But, I could never understand why the tougher I was the less I connected I was with people. I couldn’t understand why women who seemed “pathetic” were able to find love. “They can’t even drive on motorways…etc,etc and yet someone loves them.”

    After listening to you Matthew for the last couple of years something must have shifted in me because I recently responded to a man in a voice I did not recognise as my own, a voice cracking with genuine emotion and instead of walking away in disgust, he responded by giving me the deepest, longest, warmest hug I have ever had from a man.

    I couldn’t respond to his hug because it was all so new to me but I have realised that in my tool chest I have a set of tools I have never used – my mother was a pionist but I was never allowed to explore the route of music because it wasn’t tough. I’m going to explore it now and take up music lessons because I sense that in there I think is my own antedote to my toughness, where I can have my own dialogue with vulnerability that is powerful and pure and true. And I feel I will find the connectedness that has elluded me and kept me so alone.

    Does that make sense? Thank you Matthew, it seems like your instincts are guiding you quickly to showing us the places where change can take place and it’s really infectious!

    1. Right on! You’ve just described my experience as well. I’ve been programmed to think that being strong and independent are the most attractive qualities in making a romantic connection. I’ve even heard many men complain about women who are not independent enough. It’s ok to be strong and independent, but it’s also ok to have needs. As in everything, I am still learning!

  12. Thank you for posting these videos
    I spend a lot of time on my own but I have challenged myself to embrace it. Sometimes I can get lonely, usually when I crave conversations or physical connection like a hug, my journey through loneliness is about learning to love me, to enjoy my own company, to take time for me to learn about myself, what I want, what I need and deserve. It can be really hard but it is a hugely worthy experience and I believe that true loneliness comes from not being able to be alone with yourself. When you can learn this you can begin the process of overcoming loneliness and see who you are and what makes you tick. I won’t lie, it is hard and emotional at most times but I am stronger through doing it.
    Hope this helps someone who reads it.
    It won’t last forever and loving yourself and your surroundings is as important as loving someone.
    Love to you all
    X

    1. This is exactly how I’m feeling right now as well. I am usually a very positive, upbeat person but right now, life’s circumstances have left me feeling very alone. It has been this way for a long time and I’ve learned to deal with iit, but it’s not always easy. I do enjoy spending time by myself & have grown so much. I finally, at 42 yrs old, have learned what I really need & want in a relationship. I haven’t found it yet & that’s ok because I still have work to do on myself. Your comment was very helpful to me because I found it inspiring. I feel the exact same way, it’s just sometimes my hope fades & I need that reminder to stay positive. Thank you & best luck to you also.

      1. Thank you. I’m 44 and been a single parent for 20 years. Being comfortable with who you are has become my priority. But learning to love myself has and is taking time. If I can help one person then I am over the moon. Same if someone offers support or guidance to me. Be strong and never allow loneliness to take hold and stop you from being a loveable person. Remember to love yourself first then the rest will follow.
        Love to you

        1. Thank you so much Sarah. I appreciate your reassuring words & kindness at a time when I need it the most. You stay strong as well because you definitely helped me today & you did make a difference:)

    2. I like your comment. Despite the fact that I am in the relationship, very often I feel lonely because my partner is very busy and I am alone a lot of the time, missing him or missing connection with friends. So I am learning to deal with this situation and going through the same proccess as you – even I have a relationship already. Love to you back, Sarah.

      1. It’s an old saying but timeis what it takes. Allow time for you and recognise when and why you feel lonely then feel the love you have for yourself and your needs. Love to you

        1. Sarah thanks for sharing your thoughts. I feel the same and am trying to find my peace with being able to be by myself and happy. Of course I want a loving fulfilling relationship but I know it starts with having that with myself. Circumstances in my life right now are challenging but I keep trying and reading posts like yours remind me I am not alone in these feelings and brings me comfort and motivation. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing.

  13. Hi Matthew! Well thanks for the Harry Potter Game of throne parody lol. I think for me being divorced and single for 10 years since i left my abusive ex husband i feel alone all the time because i have not met someone in all this time to start a relationship with. I am 43 and will be 44 October 28th and i say to myself maybe my lot in life is to be alone and not have anyone to share my life with. I crave a companion that i can interact with and do couple things with. Life is so lonely when you dont have intimacy and love.

  14. thank you so much Mathew…it felt great listening to you & i think it all made sense.

    sometime we are closed because we are afraid of how we would be read.

  15. I haven’t had a real partner for years. I feel lonely quite a lot of the time but I hide it really well, even from myself, most of the time. I keep busy, I work extra long hours to stop me from having no-one to go out with. My excuse is….I’m working, I don’t have time to go to parties where I don’t know anyone or out to a pub on my own. But the one thing that makes me cry everytime I see it is an ad on TV with butter or mayonaise or something. All this food, fruits and veg team up together dancing and find a partner with the butter. In that moment I think to myself….even the vegetables have partners, so why don’t I? It makes me cry every time.

    1. Debas, your comment about crying over the vegetables is beautiful in its poignancy. Great novelists strive to capture moments like this – distinctly original, uniquely you, and yet utterly universal and relateable. You are wonderful.

    2. Your comment did make me smile, Debs. It’s all these wacky comments we think to ourselves but we can’t share it with anyone that makes us lonely. On a related note? about things we watch,I love this Disney short film about a volcano rising up through the ocean to find true love. It’s so heartwarming and it motivates me. Big hugs and good night, day or afternoon wherever you’re! Perhaps someday you will find a tomato or veggie of your own >< I hope so for me soon. X

  16. I feel extremely lonely all the time. No matter where I am or who is there, I’m lonely.
    I spent 2& 1/2 years in a town of 250 people that were all related to or life long friends of my ex husband. I literally had no one there. I spent 8 hours every other weekend, when he had our kids, driving to my home town. 8 hours each way So that I wouldn’t be as alone for the 3 days he had them. It also got me away from the constant harassment my exes family put me through on a daily basis.
    About 3 months after my seperation I started dating a man in my home town and we did the LDR thing for a long time. I fell head over heels in love with him. He was the only one in my life making me smile everyday and he gave me something to look forward to. Especially after my closest and dearest friend, that was also like a sister to me, lost her battle to cancer. She was “my person” and I was devestated. He got me throigh it. Just as my divorce and custody battle was getting extremely ugly this man left me. I was alone again. He came back to me and left me a dozen or so times after that. I finally got the court to agree to let me move away from my exes town with my children and it was a huge relief but it put me further away from the man I loved. Which made things worse. I had my immediate family at this point but he was now 17 hours away. I started to feel like him and everyone that I’ve Loved in the town I grew up in was moving on without me. Then he called me up one day and told me he missed me he wanted to see me. We made plans and I even took off work to fly there. A week later I got a text from him at 530am. It wasn’t him though. It was his ex wife of 9 years. I was devastated again. He called me several times that morning and was trying to explain but it was over. I haven’t talked to him since. I used to trust people and I used to feel good about myself. I had so many friends. Now I just feel like I’m just going through the motions to get through my day everyday. No one can possibly know how lonely I am because I don’t let them see it. I’m going to do whatever it takes to try and get out of the Battle Ive been having with myself. This video is a good start for me I think. Thank you so much Matthew

  17. As always, spot on. Somehow last video did not resonate with me, but this one did.
    Today, before watching a video I google maped Acorn house (out of the blue) and found it close to Weston Super Mare, which brought a lot of good feelings. Been there years ago for english training and stayed wiht a lovely old lady and her grand doughters. Just lovely people! Love the work that you are doing, and have great respect for what you have built. Hope you keep it up.
    The only reason I wrotte this, bc you asked for comments, so there you go ;-)

  18. Hi Matt,
    I watch everything and anything that you do. I never comment but I wouldn’t want to imagine a world without your work. Three years ago it was your videos, your book, your live event (which I went to alone and it was perfect) that got me through heartache. Your work, all of the videos regardless of the platform: the podcast, YouTube, FB, iheartradio app, your site-I’ve seen them all! Also, love Stephen’s blog and Jameson references/appearances! I know that things get done through a collaborative effort and I just want to say kudos to you alll at the Get the Guy. The content you produce always finds a way to make me feel more empowered, confident, reassured and as per today’s topic-less alone! As a fellow creator and artist, seeing the evolution of your videos and work is so inspiring and an absolute joy to watch. Thanks for doing what you do and for being a living example that it is possible to create and live the life of your dreams!

  19. At the end of the day it’s not about how you feel, but how you feel about how you feel (stay with me..). Meta-emotion is your best tool. It is what will allow you to switch from doubt and a feeling of unworthiness to self compassion and self allowance. If in the face of your own vulnerability you feel weak or angry or disgusted or not bothered, is it going to make life easier?
    If you sit with your loneliness with kindness as though it were a child in need, it can only serve you. Sometimes it’s not just about being connected to others, but to ourselves.
    But going back to the bigger point – meta emotions.. your emotions can be triggered by anything, it’s not always about what is happening right now. Maybe something from the past is making you sad or angry right now, when you think that feeling doesn’t make sense and perhaps you shouldn’t be feeling this way, that it is unjustified, that you have no reason to feel this way… But don’t dismiss it. Allow it, sit with it as though it were a sick child. Emotions don’t stick around, They’re dynamic.. You will never feel crystal clear sadness forever, you can’t get stuck in it just the same as with happiness. Your meta emotions (how you feel about how you feel) play a much bigger role. The external world can throw enough difficulties at you, so make yourself one less person you have to fight, one less person you feel you need to justify yourself too. Also, when you feel lonely or unworthy please remember this basic fact: you breathe, therefore trees need you..so you matter even in the most subtle ways (that’s probably the one story Dr Seuss didn’t have the time to write, but it doesn’t mean you can’t live by it).

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