3 REAL Cures For Loneliness…

I realized a huge truth about getting rid of loneliness that I didn’t mention in last week’s video.

Learn this simple-yet-powerful concept, and you’ll have an essential tool to create happy, meaningful relationships and feel connected again…

►► You don’t have to do it alone. Let’s take this life-changing journey together…MatthewHusseyRetreat.com

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

430 Responses to 3 REAL Cures For Loneliness…

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  1. Heidy says:

    This message is for Jamison,
    Loving your creativity on camera and editing. The lighting tech is good.
    A suggestion for Matthew… How about examples. Showing people being brave. Show us how to get out of our comfort zone. Hits the street! You’ll be a sensation.
    Creative editing?

  2. Heidy says:

    Matthew, this was the perfect missing piece to my documentary, “Breaking Stigma.” (A closer look at our communities mental health.) A smile goes a long way, and being nicer to ourselves while keeping an outward focus will improve our moods and enhance our realities. Thank you for the message, one of my favourites thus far. As I recipricate it, I will give you credit.

    Super funny Harry Potter seg. ❤️

  3. Aysha Abdulla says:

    Beautiful video :) Thanks for sharing amazing insight into a very common situation in today’s world. Loneliness can come in various forms and being an introverted person, I can completely relate to the general distaste for vulnerability. Thank you again :)

  4. Anita says:

    I don’t usually have a problem with being alone. It’s my gift and curse. I know I love myself and I am most at peace when I am spending time with my self and doing something not because anyone else asked me to or wants me to but because the idea came to me and I didn’t stop and ask myself who can I get to do this with me. I feel it’s a curse because I use it as a shield to not have to be vulnerable or put myself out there to get hurt. I feel like I can control how I accept myself and am feircly protective of giveing that power to anyone else. The more I find myself spending time with ppl I find myself caring about them and in essence allowing them to have that part of me that I can’t control. I have this insane fear of pain because I have not dealt with it well in the past. I don’t want to be unbalanced and impenetrable because I have strength to protect me from me but not others.

  5. Barb says:

    Thank you Matthew. Sometimes its even easier for me to show myself vulnerable to strangers than to my long time friends. I made myself the question of why do I feel lonely when my group of friends from school get together (it doesnt happen to me with other friends), and realized that I dont feel quite connected to them, maybe it’s because we are all in different stages of life and its harder to get to connect in a deeper level, but I also realized that sometimes I do not feel that worthiness, cause I havent have many big or great news, so I’ll work on that and in showing myself more vulnerable, even I sometimes dont make myself the space to share it. :) Besos from Argentina :)

  6. Gisella says:

    Matthew I loved it!
    You’re advice of opening up so we connect with those around us it’s so great and I’m gonna start trying and do it! Its not always an easy thing to do because I’m afraid of opening up cuz others don’t do it as well!

  7. Mary McCourt says:

    It’s amazing that there have been these videos from Matt about loneliness, which is a such a taboo subject. Love the little snapshots into peoples lives. I particularly like the one about feeling lonely when on a train when seeing everyone on their mobiles.

    I particularly like the advice about showing vulnerability. Not the usual ‘go out and meet people’ advice when more often than you are doing that but just not connecting. It’s most definitely the connecting which is important. Plagued me for years. Has opened up the idea that others may be feeling that too standing next to you.

    Never got around to sending my video. But my feeling lonely is at a football match, which I go to alone every week as I love watching football. I chat to people before the match, they are very friendly, then they disappear into their respective seats & with their particular group of people/family & I don’t see them again.

    The best time I had connecting (without making it sound like a cliche) was at a Matt Hussey London event recently. So good I went twice and brought a friend 2nd time. Honestly, the best time I’ve had in years. xxx

  8. Fatema Shanta says:

    Wow….thanks Matthew. When i watched your last video on Feeling lonely , i was shocked to see how connected i felt with your words. I used to feel no one listens to me and felt lonely. Everyone seemed busy. My friends and lover call me weak for this. After watching your video i feel more alive. It helped me regain my self consciousness. So keep posting such amazing motivational videos.

  9. Syd says:


    Why are there no new pictures on your instagram?! You’re one of two people who I keep up with on the internet. Neither of you has posted anything.

    The other person doesn’t have a blog. Anyway, best get to work mate… or shall I say MEH.

  10. Jenni says:

    I’ve felt lonely since i was a child… its is just a longing for someone i’ve never had around. I trust that the void will be filled some day but waiting is super lonely. Raising two kids for 4 years alone… every man failing me along the way… of course even my father and most men in our family… its like its a curse… I just dont even know what its like to have the void filled…. ive had a taste with my childrens fathers in the past that claimed to be my soul mate and then morphed into cheaters/ abusers, alcoholics… so i just decided to be alone and love myself and my kids… but no matter how hard i try… i cant stop longing for this “THING” LOVE.. true, life partner, till death do us part and… its haunting.. The male and all his ability to make everyone feel safe and just some type of presence i cant describe… im tired of filling that void as well for everyone in the family… I need it, the kids need it and it just hits you your alone! Deal with it… keep it moving… stop being sad… but you are and you just fake it till ya make it! oh well im just venting now.. but you asked so i had to answer… what you do really helps with this whole process… you make things seem LIGHTER and easier to deal with from your opinions… Your a great coach… You also remind me there are GOOD, positive, aware, capable men out there; and it helps me to not settle.. THANK YOU FOR EVERYHTING! <3 I will continue to Love myself as much as i can and just be ready.

  11. Adrienne says:

    I have struggled with loneliness for as long as I can remember. Lately I’ve been wrought with it and I can’t seem to pull myself out of it. I’ve been trying to make myself into a better version of me for many years now and I feel like I’ve just been failing this entire time. I’m deeply unhappy and alone and any time people start to show interest in getting close to me, I find a logical reason why they shouldn’t and I give them that reason and they take it and run. The only thing I truly want in this life is a deep, lasting friendship that carries on for the rest of my life, and yet I am crippled with the fear of being hurt, betrayed, and rejected. I have many many people around me who like me and who seem happy to see me, but I only find myself able to connect with them in the most superficial ways. I go home from these interactions feeling even more alone than before. I don’t know what to do or how to change. I’m just sitting in front of my computer sobbing. I want to be happy again but I’m overwhelmed at the idea because it seems like such a steep climb from where I am.

    • Syd says:

      I spent all day applying for jobs and being pissed off because nobody has gotten back to me with an interview. That being said, I realized everything will happen in it’s due time. The only thing I control is my effort.

      SO – if something bothers you, then please take the effort. AND coming from somebody with bipolar disorder, medical illness is real. Some people are depressed for no reason and no blame of theirs. If you think this is you, then please see a doctor. Medication has changed my life. Unfortunately, lithium makes me feel nauseous on some days and I take vitamins too so it’s a LOT of pills. But my brain feels good and I can concentrate and I’m raring to go! I can’t wait to get and ace my next job. I can’t wait to ace my certification exam and admissions exam and go back to school at some point. There is a lot of stuff in life besides guys. I love making money. I still date and try to make a connection, don’t get me wrong.

    • Heidy says:

      Adrienne, how beautiful you are when you are being real. It’s like breathing fresh air. I have felt like this before specially after difficult times, I found it useful to focus on finding a purpose. Being on boards, volunteering and sharing my talents. Sometimes silence can be a talent, specially when someone needs to talk and all the word of difference is in your presence. You are valuable and I am glad I saw your comment. I hope you are well.

  12. Oana says:

    Hi :) you’re amazing!

  13. Oda says:

    Thank you for this beautiful video.
    I used to feel lonely, just like you describe in last weeks video. But after I went to your retreat in San Diego a couple of years ago I never feel lonely anymore. Whether I’m on my own, with friends or my boyfiend (thanks for making that happen too by the way) I always feel like I’m in great company and I feel valued.
    I wish all of the people watching your video could learn how to feel like this. Lots of kisses to all of you xx

  14. Kat says:

    I love all your videos and books thats published. You have guided me through tough times and helped me bond me with my family as philosophies that you’ve discussed are relevant to all sorts of love. I’m currently going through a rough patch in my relationship/ heartbreak and also some hard- realisations. I’m on my way again, doing my best to understand myself. Keep it up, I look forward to more of your inspirations!

    Love your work!,
    Kat xx

  15. Britney Belliston says:

    Matthew, I just recently found your videos and programs a few months ago. Everything you post is such a huge help to me. This video is wonderful as I have been dealing with feeling lonely a lot lately. Thank you for your insight.

    I was also wondering if you have advice for women going out alone or how to find the female peers that you talk about in some of your videos and building that support group? A lot of your material suggests that we would already have that in place and that we would be going out with friends to meet men. What if we don’t have those since recently getting out of a relationship?

    Maybe this could be an idea for a video down the road. Thank you Matthew for all you do!

  16. Susan Babirye says:

    Seriously, am so amazed.i had never felt loved by my family being that i was brought up by my dad only and we had no sense of vulnability .to him it was always work but thanks be to God for this brilliant guy(Matthew).i always felt less important and not free with everyone coz they all see me as the shortess amongest them yet am not that short, this always sets isecure thoughts in my mind that leads me to loneliness.u just taught me a new thing that am super eager to apply to end insecure loneliness.Thank u Matthew and God bless u

  17. Katrina says:

    Matthew, you have inspired me to go out and help others. This year I am taking a break from work to dedicate me to my MBA studies. I am a top manager for an automaker and have a deep sense to conect with others, to help them to make a positive change in their profesional and personal lives. When I decided to leave my job to pursuit my MBA, I also decided that I would try my best to connect with my friends and listen to them and their circumstances, that way I could be more meaningful. After seeing your second video about loneliness and listening you talking about being more empathized with others, I got absolutely eager to go and do that for others, starting with my friends specially those going through hard times, making them feel they are never alone. THANK YOU for what you do, teaching us and reminding us HOW to be more humans. You are making such a positive change in the world! Keep shining that light please!

  18. Itzel says:

    Loved it!!! Please do the video on vulnerability!!!

  19. Julie says:

    More wise words, your first video on loneliness made me cry (in a good way) as it connected with me and made me realise that firstly there were lots of others who experienced the same feeling and secondly there was a different way of thinking. Just got to keep remembering I have the power to change the way I view things I hold the power to change my perspective. Vunerability is taking that chance to speak to someone new and risk rejection. I missed two opportunities this weekend to take initial attraction further, I just need to be a little bit braver. Thank you, as always wise words.

  20. Sabrina says:

    Thank you for sharing Matthew, you always find the words I can’t express.
    You’re right when you say vulnerability is not easy.
    But when you go against your fear of being ridiculous or rejected if you smile to someone, if you exchange a word with someone, then you’ll feel alive.
    I, myself, had to work a lot to be the person I am today. I love hugging people (even if they are perfect strangers) but most often I smile (even more to someone who looks sad or angry) – and I’ve been told that the warmth of my smile or my hugs make people feel good, relaxed, wanting to trust life and people again…
    So thank you, be you, be kind, be vulnerable and caring. Show others the way, and they will follow, maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow but, one day, every single act of kindness (small or big) will have an impact.
    I love you people <3

  21. Pam says:

    Difficult to appear vulnerable with strangers

  22. Sarah says:

    Fantastic ..so true ..time to smile at others more and not be deflated if they don’t smile back

  23. Debora Herrera says:

    Hello! I have been doing that more,stepping out of my box, and letting people see the real me! I learn to approach, step out, and it’s not so bad or weird! I learned it from my church, and good friends who encourage me! I feel happy! Content!
    Thank you,
    Debora Herrera

  24. Liette says:

    Thank you Matthew, for these wonderful videos and for reminding me that it’s ok to feel lonely and that we can work together to better our relationships by just being polite, curtious and warm towards others because sometimes that smile that you give to someone can mean a difference in the type of day,they may chose to have!

  25. LucyM says:

    Loved every word. I’m really trying and striving to show more vulnerability.

  26. Roger Whealy says:

    Matthew and Jameson,

    There is a 40+ year old woman 2 houses away from mine, that was terribly abused by her fiance, who left her with a special needs child. I discovered her two weeks ago, she has not left her house for 5 years except to go to work, and take her son to school.
    Since I have subscribed and purchased some of your products, I have taken some of these videos of yours and given them to her to view. The last two you did on loneliness I have yet to give her. You might not believe it, but you just might have enough impact to save somebody’s life if they can be reached in time.

    I have lost my son and my wife in the last couple years, so am struggling with the same issues, and that is how I stumbled upon your topics.
    I hope to connect with her, to bring her back from the dark place she is in now and will be using your dating information to help in that process.
    God Bless you and your crew for all that you do out of the goodness of your hearts.

  27. I says:

    Hi Matthew thanks so much for these amazing videos you take the time to do. I have a request if I may – I recently met a man for the first time after talking a great deal of time where he was totally into me and even when we met he was totally into me then he made a comment that he can’t go further due to my height and the fact that he felt I didn’t have the perfect figure. Now I don’t want to pursue things with him but that comment has stuck with me and affected my confidence with other men. How does one go about not taking things like that personally and let it affect your self worth?

  28. Bella Maree says:

    Thank you for the response to my email. This is the poem I wrote for Matthew … hope he enjoys receiving as much as I enjoyed writing it!

    From the ashrams in India to the streets of LA
    I searched high and low, for someone to light the way
    The dating world can be confusing
    and consequently not so amusing
    Whilst dating coaches are abundant
    I found most of their “tips” redundant
    Then one beautiful blue sky LA day
    I found the man to guide & show me my way
    With his cool English wit and charm
    he does slowly and gently disarm
    Whilst promoting intelligence, humor & integrity
    Matt quickly gets down to the nitty gritty
    He teaches us to drop the virtual hanky
    Instead of on a first date… our panty
    Whilst judge us he does not
    His encouragement to excel is hot
    You offer us tools
    and just a few rules
    So I thank you Matthew Hussey on behalf of us all
    who watch and listen intently to your sweet English drawl
    For like a burning fire
    It is true love I desire
    Mission accomplished Mr. Hussey
    With love from one of your devoted posse

    Bella Maree

  29. Renee Xue says:

    Matthew, your videos make me laugh. You are such an incredible person. I can’t believe myself as a 38 years old woman is so attracted by what you are saying about relationships and human being, and learn so much from a 27 years old who usually I call a kid.. lol! Will love to meet you some day when you visit Orange County in Southern California.

  30. Jasmine fry says:

    Hi Matthew …
    I don’t normally reply as i am not really great with words … i will write and then probably rewrite this msg about a dozen times b4 i send it … how ever i did want to say thank you for your videos i am finding them comforting if that makes sense .. i have been single for 3 yrs now i have had 2 not so great relationships one quite abusive for 15 yrs … i am 42 with 3 fantastic girls ..
    At first i hated being single and thought i couldn’t manage on my own .. then got use to it had a few dates here and there but nothing serious as i felt i wasn’t ready to let anyone in completely … i felt empowered being my own person making my own decisions for a change … now its come to a stage where its been 3 and a half nearly 4 yrs and its like I’ve forgotton how to date .. its kinda scary I’ve been so busy not letting myself be vulnerable so as not to get hurt rhat i don’t even know how to go about it anymore … how did this happen? I don’t know how to connect with a man on a personal level anymore it always feels fake … i feel fake! Not sure how to change this please help
    Kind reguards Jasmine

  31. Sondra says:

    I enjoyed this vedio

  32. Marilia says:

    It´s really great to think that being vulnerable is a good thing, I´ll do this more often. It really is magic to open up to people like this. I used to think I was ridiculous, like telling a friend that I don´t actually have many friends, this made my friend feel special, unlike my expectation of being perceived as silly.

  33. Liz says:

    Hi Matthew,

    Another good vid but there’s a paradox here too. You always tell us that confidence is a major part of attraction, and here you are telling us that so is vulnerability. Do you think they sit happily together – that they are congruent?


  34. Pam Hays says:

    Thank you, Matthew……….my first comment. I’m lonely sometimes but I have faith that the Universe is preparing me for something better. My alone time right now is part of the mix…….

  35. Deja says:

    It’s weird because over the past few weeks, I have been very lonely. Thank you for this video.

  36. Syd says:

    I attend a therapy class and loneliness gets mentioned like ALL the time. It’s the #1 cause of depression. Everyone on earth should know one person. There should be one person you can go grab a coffee with. If not, then you need to improve your people skills and work on getting that person. Or building that network. Just get up and move! Go to a public place. We are never alone. Take a risk and talk to someone! Just ask “how’s your day going so far?” No expectations. Just share a smile like Matthew says. Don’t expect a smile back. Be bold and Be brave and Be happy!! Happiness provides energy to do things and to make goals happen!! Cultivate happiness and maximize good energy.

  37. Syd says:

    He’s wearing a cloak because he is vampire

  38. Pascale says:

    100%. being alone isn’t being lonely. I always feel much more lonely in a group. and so many people don’t get that.

    I hardly ever find people I can feel connected to. Being around people make me feel that even more. I can “forget” it when I’m on my own.

  39. Sara says:

    Vulnerable vs disingenuous. I had a really hard time letting down my walls right after college bc during college I was scoffed at when I showed caring for something or someone. It was like vulnerability became a weakness and I was immediately put down for it. Fast forward years later after traveling the world for 2 years and I have found that vulnerability allows for other people to show their humanity. And I also found out I am brave, for not letting someone else’s version of weakness define me, for going against the culture of what it means to be strong. So thanks for today’s email.
    You really knocked it out of the park and will for sure be sharing this on fb. Lots of love,

  40. Elisa says:

    Thank you matthew for creating that safe place where we can share and realize that we all have things in common

  41. Katelyn says:

    I’m a single young mother, my daughter goes to day care Monday-Friday for the full day. My evenings and weekends consist of giving my full attention to her, and my days consist of giving my full attention to college. I can’t pick a specific time or place where I feel lonely, it’s a constant gut feeling that I have on a daily basis. I still struggle to fight this dark cloud that follows me around, this lonely feeling I have. I started to get a sense of happiness when someone shone their light my way. But when they walked out it all came back. I don’t have many friends either, but when I am with my very few, that feeling just lingers around still. I will sit in a room with my family, and still feel like the room is empty.

    I watch these videos and they give me a sense of hope that someday this feeling will end. That I am NOT alone.
    Thank you for helping me keep my head up high.

  42. Cory says:

    Always fabulous… makes me smile and feel connected.

  43. Diane says:

    Hi Matt,

    I’ve not much to say……

    Thank you for your presentations.

  44. Kathy says:

    You are one of the most genuine guys I know.did’nt think guys like u exsisted.how do you seem to get get me so much.i cry with a variety of emotions,every time I watch your blogs.looking forward to seeing you at the retreat in November.can I reserve a big hug.best wishes Kathy

  45. Sharon Covey says:

    Hi, Matthew I wanted to thank you for your video on loneliness. Yes I do feel lonely and it was so bad I would sleep with a picture of someone so I could fall asleep.or a picture of someone on my phone. My husband won’t sleep with me, its been 13 yrs now and he said it would make it easier when we do get apart, and that he is losing his love for Me! That hurt because I do love him. We have been married 38 yrs.1 son. Anyways I just wanted to reply back to you for the first time.Thank You, Sharon Covey

  46. Loren says:

    So good!!! Next time I’m feeling lonely I’m going to make myself go outside and take a walk and smile and try and start a conversation with as many people as I can! Thank you!

  47. Asia says:

    Hi everyone!
    I just want to say look for the people that appreciate YOU!

    We can’t please everyone no matter how hard we try.

    Look for the people that want to be with you.

    I go out alone all the time. I’ve found some special people and some not so nice people.

    Don’t invest yourself in the not so nice people. They will never appreciate you. You don’t have to understand why.

    Just keep moving and searching for the people who are happy and loving.

    They ARE out there. Sometimes it just takes time to find them and weed out the rest. The less time you spend feeling bad about why they don’t like you, the better. Just move onto the next like it’s a quest to find treasure.

    When you are on your quest, make yourself your lover and best friend.

    Ask yourself what you would like to do today. What would make ME happy today? Do I want Sushi? Do I want a better body? Do I want to learn a new skill? Do I want different hair or clothes? ANYTHING!

    Make yourself your other person, your lover. And do for her what you would want someone else to do. Some of these things are just in the moment or sometimes they are goals you can do a little each day to get closer to your dream life.

    Dogs help too. Or even just a little hamster lol. Idk. I get lonely too but these things seem to help. You can only talk to yourself for so long…

    The thrill of getting out of your comfort zone and randomly talking to someone else is a rush!

  48. Emsy says:

    That was simply not a part from any one of the Harry Potter books but I forgive you, LiberaNed.

  49. Robin says:

    Thank you for sharing. It’s somewhat of a relief to know I am not the only person who feels lonely at times. I agree with you that FB gives us an illusion that we are constantly missing out on life or not enough. Thank you for reminding us we are enough

  50. Sarah says:

    Vulnerability! Yes! This is something I’ve been working on the past couple years to soften into. I recently completed Yoga Teacher Training and started teaching, which for me has been SUUUPER vulnerable.

    Hitting 30 and finding myself alone and fearful of the world and my ability to thrive in it was an eye opening experience. I found that the hard shell and discipline I’d protected myself with over the years wasn’t actually serving my highest pursuit of love and connection.

    I believe wholeheartedly that the solutions to most, if not all, the worlds problems are for us all to be more authentic and open with each other. SOO much easier said than done. Continuing to shine light and encouragement in this direction is so important and it makes me soul glow whenever I see people of influence sharing this message <3

  51. Kristin Deaton says:

    This really resonated with me today. I watched both videos back to back and I really wish I would have seen the first one last week. This Saturday I had purchaced 8 tickets to go see an 80s cover band thinking surely my friends would love this. But I could not find one friend to agree to go. My brother and one of my cousins finally agreed to come and my brother brought 2 of his friends but I just felt so sad and lonely that people didn’t want to join me. I’m usually the life of the party but I didn’t have a great time at the show because the people I wanted to come weren’t there. I even got us on the list for the VIP area and that club felt like a Vegas level club and I still wasn’t having the best time. I should have just enjoyed the experience. Thank you for this perspective, Matthew.

  52. Megan says:

    Thank you for the video Matthew. It was the first thing I saw opening my eyes this morning.

    I have been trying to be comfortable with my single life and solitude.

    I travel and pursue an adventurous life but never have someone to share it with. I always wake up with an ache in my heart. That I have not felt loved back in so long. I miss feeling loved and it makes me feel very alone.

    I have friends and family, a community. But being lonely and the ache in my heart I feel everyday, genuinely hurts.

    Having a successful life helps me deal with the loneliness. But I don’t think the mornings will change till I see someone I love laying next to me and knowing they love me back.

    Your videos and podcasts give me hope.

    • Asia says:

      I feel like you are me lol

      I have felt the exact same way that this is bringing me to tears.

      I wish I had an answer. We will be ok

    • Cindy says:

      Having a significant other is not a sure thing on beating lonliness. Many people commented that they feel alone within a relationship with their significant other or in a large family.
      A good way to handle lonliness is loving and accepting who you are, the way that you are. Try to not compare yourself and your relationships to those around you. Always searching for someone and failing to find them is a constant reminder of what you don’t have. Instead focus on all that you do have. You sound amazing. You sound like you do have an amazing life. Enjoying every moment, loving and experiencing all that you can in this wonderful life that you have built is so attractive and would surely bring to you the wonderful relationship that you are craving. You are not a failure in not having a relationship. Being single does not define who you are or make you lacking. When you get that relationship you are wanting, it is only going to add to the wonderful life you are already living.

  53. Yari says:

    Hey Matthew,

    I went to your retreat in August ’15, quick shout out! Your video on loneliness was an on time word as well as this one. I have been feeling lonely, sad, etc. You helped me to realize that this is a normal emotion, and that anyone at any stage can feel lonely, not just a single person. This video helped me to realize that I am struggling with being vulnerable. Vulnerability, of course!!! I will be more aware and understand that if I want to connect with friends in a deeper sense I must be willing to be vulnerable.

  54. Holly Ann says:

    It makes me sad to hear about people feeling lonely. I often say that one of the biggest challenges in life is to make your life whole without looking for others to fill it for you. How do I make an effort do this? Meditate on what brings me joy that doesn’t involve another person and insert those things into my life. Look at this giant world and all of the people in it! I get so much joy by simply interacting and making “friends” with people at the grocery store, gas station, etc. Just a smile, a hello, or saying something nice to someone will not only make their day a nicer one, but it will also make yours a nicer – more whole one too. :) Thanks Matthew for also highlighting that you don’t have to be alone to feel lonely. So true.

  55. Ann says:

    Yes I feel lonely I meditate read play with my puppy what a blessing she is. I have been a very busy mother of 4 married for 48 years a busy career my husband passed away my children are all grown and moved away. And now I am by myself trying to find happiness in my life

  56. arlette Bomahou says:

    thanks so much for sharing this beautiful video. It made my day and reminded me that I am not the only one feeling lovely at times. This video gave me hope and brightened my day. I am so grateful to you for this beautiful gift to us.

  57. Francesf says:

    Thanks a million, what a lovely video and the mini ones of others sharing their experiences too. Made me laugh and cry. Obviously I’ve never been lonely but it happened to a friend of a friend once!!!! Okay, maybe that’s not stricty true!! Thanks again for the feel good factor xx

  58. Andrea says:

    I have never commented on your videos but have watched almost all of them. What was said about smiling really struck a cord cause I’ve been asked sometimes why I smile so much and this encourages me to keep doing it. I have noticed it makes people remember we are all human. That we are all dealing with difficult things but just recieving a smile from a stranger can be encouraging.

    You give great advice and I like the fact that you don’t dress things up. Your face tells that you are honest and trully believe what you say. Its refreshing and, just like a smile, encouraging.

    Keep on doing all you are doing cause I bet you help more people than you actually know.


  59. Lou says:

    Hey! I always look forward to your videos Matthew. Thank you so much for devoting your time to doing them. Your not afraid to cover the big issues. Loneliness has been a big deal for me most of my life. From being bullied at school to never having a real friend at church. It feels like every time I make a close friend they move away or I loose them. So it’s got to a point I am not even sure I know how to make friends anymore. But I have a great family and friends I occasionally see. And I have learnt to enjoy my own company. But it does make me feel unworthy. You hit the nail on the head with that! Thanks for showing us we are not alone. Lou xx

  60. Karolina says:

    Great stuff Matthew! Thank you for helping so many people!
    If all people were more open, life would be much easier

  61. Liz says:

    Oh God rabbit in headlights that’s me…
    The most moved I’ve been by someone was when they showed me their vulnerability and I probably looked like I could care less. Really I was just surprised and so moved by their openness and words. I guess sometimes we can shut others out without realizing what we are doing simply because we don’t know how to react. Hopefully some day I can be better able to respond and be more vulnerable myself. Let’s all be more vulnerable please. Thank you for sharing this video Matt.

  62. Carol Williams says:

    Hi Matthew I’m a single mom with no family members around I don’t have a social life, but right now at this moment listing to you video I know that I have some work to do with me. So thank again for sharing x

  63. Lisa says:

    Thank you! Still working on breaking the loneliness cycle after separating with a really close friend. The fact that they did not want to save / continue our friendship made me doubt everything they had ever said that made me feel worth and doubting the value of our friendship and my value as a friend. I’ve spent the last couple of months trying to avoid loneliness but it keeps catching up with me. I try really hard to make / feel connections. I don’t always succeed but I always feel best when I am with the people I feel connected to. Don’t have a romantic partner but have worked hard to develop a few good friends.

  64. Marie says:

    Loneliness I feel the pain between Iyhink of my children and grandchildren I smile and it keeps me going! Keep up the good work Matthew what a beautiful soul you have xx

  65. Sharlene nehs says:

    Ive recieved such a feeling of support and strength from your videos… i think of all my friends going through sumilar levels of loneliness for various reasons and my immediate thought is always how i want to introduce them to your videos… they span so many lifestyles and circumstances so gently and simply.
    Thank you Matthew for the work you do.

  66. Jan says:

    Iv been a single mum for 6 years now. In that time my friends have found love and have no time for me. I end up at home most of the time. I feel house bound because I have two small children and no one to look after them, and no one to go out and socialise with. It’s a vicious circle.

    I sit here most nights thinking of all those couples who can go to the cinema a lovely meal, who can laugh together then come home and share intimacy, whilst I sit here alone. I miss that so much I feel empty

    Iv tried online dating and that has not Been a good experience

    I feel there should be a website where people like me can make friends in a similar situation, who can connect when lonely or meet up to socialise. Or just become amazing friends.

    Life has challenges and Iv been through a lot of personal upsets and not having someone there to give he a big hug and say “I’m here for you” makes life’s struggles even harder to bare. Doing things alone is hard especially seeing couples taking their children out for family days out and I’m there trying my best for my two beautiful children. I start to feel there’s something wrong with me for not being able to meet a lovely guy. But deep sien I have a lot to give a guy. As for my friends I can’t change their priorities even though Iv spoken to them about how I feel. They still have no time for me. I can’t go anywhere to make new friends.

  67. asal says:

    I live in a country which people’s eyes are all dark and black

    whenever you post a video matt , I set the highest quality just to see the color of your eyes :D

    I think I need to travel abroad to see more blue-eyed people

    your color is much more attractive than we ,black eyed people :)

  68. asal says:

    I always post comments for you matt:)

    I love you matthew hussey
    and thank you :)

  69. Danny says:

    Dear Jon,


    I was actually feelin lonely not able to watched the GOT season 7 episodes,all the links were not complete,aaghh… I clicked on episode 1 but it turns out to be the last part when one or my dragon got slained? I could not even find it in Netflix?soo frustrating, internet is soo misleading, don’t know what’s true and what’s not…
    and you even know I’m hiding away and this is not what really makes me sad.lol
    you know things.lol I just wanted to have an excuse to say “hi”


    PS. I’ll send you laters baby

  70. Mehrangiz says:

    Wonderful Video, dear Matthew, and so true…………living in the here and in the now and feeling the energy of the here and the now is one of the answers to feeling connected….

  71. Agathe says:

    Hi :) Thank you for this video and for everything you are doing to help people feel better with themselfs. You and this community giving me so much power and better feeling everyday.

    Thank you to all off you <3

  72. vibha says:

    hi matthew ur videos are always inspiring…I wish the guys u talk about in ur videos nd articals exists in real world…bcz in real world nothing works like this…they just left…

  73. Jaymie Medagama says:

    Hi Matthew, here I am leaving you a comment after watching many many videos you have posted. Those videos have helped me so much to understand myself and grow as a better person. I’m a single mum for an 8 year old Autistic son who hurts me and worries me all the time. I’m 34 and very good looking but when a guy gets to me that I have a disabled child they don’t want me. I have no family and very limited friends who are just work collegues. I spend most of the time alone and my mind is like a diary . I have conversations within my brain every single day. I feel lonely when I go out to a restaurant and sit in a table for 1 or going to a movie by myself. But regardless of my loneliness I keep doing these things and I have no shame about it. Hardest thing for me is I do get chance to meet new people going out alone like this but soon as they find out my disabled child they don’t ask me out.
    I have accepted life as it is and I keep loving myself. I keep doing things that I love to do and it was the only thing that kept me going.

    I’m glad that I found your videos because watching these videos confirmed me that I’m doing the exactly what I should be doing. I feel more confident and if I ever feel lonely I now know how to deal with it as well. Thanks Matthew. Have a great day !

    Kind regards

  74. Linds says:

    I am single looking after my dad I am a carer. They only person I talk to is myself or carers come in.I am 45years old my friends I see are elderly.I hardly see my friends at my own age. I have once a week phone call to my x boyfriend who friends with benefit.I just feel really lonley. He took me away he paid for the hotel room and we had a fall out and we still talking now he not texting me or phoning me. I feel very lonley and on my own doing everything for my lovely wonderful caring dad. I wouldn’t change caring for.

  75. Maggie says:

    I have “only” 3 friends that I talk about really important and deep stuff. And I noticed that I prefer their company, than being on a great party with “flashy” people that talks about a loads of nothing really..
    Also it is sad how people don’t really look at each other anymore, strangers passing through with their heads in their phones trying to connect, but they forget that real life is offline..

  76. Ashley shore says:

    The first step to making progress towards happiness and not loneliness is the intention. Waking up with the intent of feeling happy. It isn’t that you can’t feel lonely, or that feeling isn’t valid. Taking a step back, and becoming aware of the emotion, taking it in, allowing yourself to feel it, and letting it pass can be a way to heal. What can be dangerous is when you become stuck in that emotion, and hold onto it hoping for it to change. Change comes within, and our own perspective will create the reality around us. I feel lonely before bed sometimes when reflecting on life. But I will wake up with the intention that the day will bring me something beautiful… I started this in January, and this year has been the most amazing year because I am in control of my happiness. Thank you for these videos, I feel it helps a lot of people.

  77. Natalie says:

    Hi Matthew and community,

    Thank you for the video!

    I’ve been hurtingly lonely since a breakup 2 months ago.
    Even tho we’ve started to flirt and talk, that’s not real intimacy, it’s getting reacquainted.

    My mother died this week.
    I guessed my ex-boyfriend, who’d been my joy and comfort, probably wouldn’t want to hear this.
    I’d look needy. I might cry. It might be more intimacy than he’d want.
    So I shut down.
    Way down.
    An incredibly deep loneliness spread thru me.
    Altho I’d been there for him for 2 deaths in his family last year, that was when we were a couple.

    I forced myself to attend yoga, a new experience.

    A stranger, who turned out to be a fellow classmate, opened the door for me, giving me a warm smile from his eyes and his mouth. It was so real that relief washed over me. I smiled back and felt belonging.

    Receiving a genuine smile is wonderful.
    I passed it along to another classmate at the end of class.

  78. Suz deMello says:

    Loved the video. I live alone, and most of the time feel great about that and enjoy my solitide as well as time with friends. But today, oddly, I felt lonely. I decided not to reach out to others but as an experiment, work through matters on my own.

    I am proud to say I ate only two small bags of chips, total 260 calories. I can justify everything else I ate. I swear.

    Then I watched your video and I’m excited to see the next one. I think I’m on your mailing list, and I’ll watch out for an announcement.

    Till then, have a great week!

  79. maryan hersi says:

    Thank you, Matthew!! You give me hope as I deal I appreciate what you do and a wonderful videos you sent me. I feel sometimes lonely and sad but when I feel lonely I watched your videos over and over makes me less lonely so I thank you

  80. Karen L says:

    Beautiful. Thank you so much for this reminder, and for being such a wonderful example of the very vulnerability of which you spoke. Blessings to you and your team!

  81. Fili says:

    Hi there,I’ve watched some of your videos, but the one I like is about loneliness,I feel most lonely now in my late fourty then in my 20s & 30s especially when I’m in the place or a room full of people. Thanks Fili.

  82. Eden says:

    Love this….

  83. Robyn says:

    The timing of this topic couldn’t be greater. My oldest daughter just left for college. I am a single mom with one more child at home who thrives on her friends, so very rarely see her. Loneliness has been a huge struggle lately in realizing my children will be leaving me and then what???

  84. Mari Lyn Butterfield says:

    Solitude is a beautiful thing I always enjoyed, BUT after losing my husband of forty years, the solitude is unbearable. It has been three years, I go out everyday, see friends and family, but miss that special someone with that special connection, my best friend, my soul mate, he was my everything.

  85. kobbs says:

    Your videos are always great guys! Thanks for doing what you can to encourage viewers, remind them of their value, and or making ways they can meet/connect with others who can do the same in person.

  86. Miss P says:

    Eh, fooey.

  87. Adeline says:

    Hi! :)

    Currently visiting Los Angeles for the first time – and doing it all by myself to spend time with myself. This video is a timely reminder of why my current loneliness is precious. Thank you.

  88. Morgan says:

    I needed to see the loniliness video. I felt extremely lonely all weekend. Can you make a video on how to start building your own community or “becoming the party?” I am socially avoidant but I want to change and to have a more active social life and feel more accepted with people besides my mom and best friend. At least I have them.
    Thank you Matt

  89. Erica Kalapaca says:

    Thank you!! Lovely!!❤️

  90. Jake says:

    I know you gear your stuff for women.. but i just wanted to say thank you for what you do. I feel that most men need this stuff too! I just spent the last while at home by myself crying over a 2 year relationship that ended because she was super abusive and narcissistic and then i found out she was sleeping around. It just really took the wind out of my sails.. and to add insult to injury i just saw her with another guy at the state fair. Its nice to get some emotional support on here! Thanks bud! Lots of love!

  91. Ariel says:

    Thank you Matt!

  92. Celeste Nirschl says:

    I wish I could carry you around in my pocket, I have received some life changing advice from you. This video hit home a bit I’m a single mom and the feeling of isolation hits me often and hard although people who know me would say I have an exuberance and drive for life like no one else. On the inside I’m constatntly feeling alone. I want to say thank you for all you put out into this world

  93. Karen says:

    Thank you, Matthew!! You give me hope as I deal with just being dumped after a two year relationship. I feel rejected, devalued, and like a castoff. Listening to your video just now was a huge pick-me -up! I appreciate what you do!!!

  94. Anje says:

    Matthew: So what are the “3 REAL” cures for loneliness…in a nutshell.

  95. Stella Palikarova says:

    I feel lonely on a whole different level that people don’t typically think of. Having a physical disability (I use a wheelchair) can be incredibly isolating. I want to take part in social activities that are often not in accessible locations. So meet ups for people in their 30s or filmmaking meet ups – things that I would be really interested in attending, are just off the radar for me. When I go out, I find it hard to be discreet or subtle approaching a guy that I like. There’s this big honking wheelchair coming at you; chances are I have to plow through a crowd of people to even get to him. Flirting can be hard because guys tend to look at me and just see me as a friend or someone interesting to talk to. They don’t look at me and see a sexual person. To make matters worse, when I am approached by men that I’m not interested in, they’ll often say things to me like “you’re in a wheelchair; you can’t be picky”. I tend to internalize these comments a lot and think on the one hand that I have a lot to offer: I’m educated, take care in my appearance, am adventurous in the bedroom, and I can be damn funny! But on the other hand yeah, out of the my new proportion of the male population that would ever consider me as a romantic partner, if I’m turning some away, what are my chances, really? To add insult to injury (I think) men are more than willing to have sex with me, but the second things become a little bit more “serious” or headed toward a relationship, they’re running for the hills. Just to feel connected and desirable on some level, I would settle for casual sex in the past. Often times though, it just leaves you feeling even more lonely, like having a meal but never ever being sated. As a result, I haven’t been intimate with anyone in nearly a year now. Your videos and advice are amazing, Matthew. I really wish I could find a way to make these tips work for me…

  96. Stephanie says:

    That was so awesome! I know I’m in the most dysfunctional relationship because I have a long time boyfriend that verbally assaults me constantly for past mistakes of me actually reacting to his hurt of cheating. We both have done very hurtful things to each other.
    I’m trying so hard to get away from him but my fear of being alone and feeling unworthy thanks to him and me allowing it…my children don’t like him and neither does my sister. I know better but yet it’s so codependent.
    Anyway I know there is something wrong with me because I know I am worthy.
    I’m successful in work, constantly told I am not exactly stupid but I will pick the biggest controlling loser everytime.
    I’m told I’m sexy and pretty and nice but yet the men I see that I like want nothing to do with me. I get looks I know that and I am not trying to sound conceited but never approached.
    Anyway your videos are really helping me right now! Thank you!

  97. Joanne McCarroll says:

    Thank you for speaking about such an important subject. I’m one of those people who watch your videos every week and never respond. I have a very hard time connecting with new people and I have realized through a very difficult journey that I do close myself off. I was severely bullied as a child and I think it has made me very sceptical of all people I meet. I’m 35 years old now and still struggle to be open and engage with new people. Video’s like this hit so close to home with so many people. Never stop doing what your doing as you have an incredible gift and will never truly know the impact you have on lives around the world very day.

    • Bernice Santiago says:

      Joanne, at a Matthew Hussey Retreat I realized I walled myself off from people because of bullying. Just knowing that started opening me up. Being more open is a slow process but worth it. The people that I’ve opened up to are good people.

  98. Julianna says:

    Today my significant other cancelled our plans after I spent a lot of time and effort making myself pretty for him. He cancels at the last minute a lot but this caught me off guard. I felt so sad and alone. I felt like sending an angry text but instead got vulnerable and texted “I feel really unwanted right now.” He responded with “You can come over but I will be busy else where” I didn’t go over.

  99. Tamara Jakl says:

    I always enjoy your videos, but this one really does resonate with me. I share the same feelings that many of the women who commented do. I feel most lonely when my kids go with their dad and I have no plans and it seems like everyone else has plans. I feel that I’m not a priority to anyone. Although I know this is a phase of my life at this time and it will pass, but in the moment, it kinda stinks. Thank you for sharing the stories of others who feel the same… We are not alone.

  100. Bonnie says:

    Please make some videos for senior widows. I have become a hermit since my husband passed as there are no singles groups or clubs in my tiny town. Even the churches are all couples. I’d love to have someone, but don’t know how to go about it. Thank you. I do like your videos even if they are for “youngsters.”

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Matthew Hussey talks about loneliness
Feeling lonely…

Loneliness. I’ve felt it too. But I’ve realized over the years that there are ways to break free of this...