You’ve heard me talk about the two types of people in life: Waiters and Creators.
Well… there’s also a third type of person…
There’s a guy I’ve been following for a while, George Watsky – a rapper who become a big Youtube name, and who has been in the news recently for jumping off of a very high lighting rig at a show where he injured two people.
He wrote a very sincere apology for his actions which he posted on Facebook:
“The jump was not awesome, it was not badass, and it was not ballsy. It turned what should have been a great day for the people who got hurt into a nightmare. It was stupid and wildly irresponsible, plain and simple.
“Today I let down my supporters, I let down the Warped Tour and I let down my band and the people who work their asses off behind the scenes to make these shows happen. My #1 priority right now is to somehow make this right for the folks who were hurt.
“I am deeply sorry and I promise to learn from this mistake.”
(See full apology here.)
The apology, despite its sincerity, provoked a HUGE number of comments berating the guy, abusing him, and saying all sorts of nasty things.
What I find more sickening than the newspapers who spread these kinds of stories is the way that they indoctrinate people in general.
At any time you can go onto a newspaper’s website and see people commenting on stories like this in just this way.
I’m always in favour of people disagreeing with me and giving a constructive lesson with an idea that conflicts with mine, but that’s very different from what people typically do.
The way people leave these comments is not designed to be productive. Their comments are left with the intention of being sinister and malicious.
The interesting question is: Why do people do this?
Why is it that we live in a culture where people have to take 5-10 minutes out of their day to maliciously abuse someone else, when that person has already heard it twenty or more times from other people telling them how stupid they’ve been?
Why is it that people feel it necessary to be sinister in this way?
The obvious answer is because these people are lacking something in their own lives.
The same people who leave these comments are distracting themselves from their own productive endeavours.
Do you think each of them doesn’t have something they want to do in their life? Something they want to build or create that they haven’t got the courage to do.
Maybe they haven’t got the drive or strategy. Maybe they have a whole list of excuses as to why they can’t do what they want to do. Whatever it is holding them back, the end result is them leaving malicious comments about other people they don’t even know, instead of spending their time doing things that would actually benefit their own lives.
I want to speak to these people:
There is a reason why you took the time to say something and didn’t choose to use that time to do something that was actually important to you.
You could have learnt a new word in that time, watched another video that could have educated you on something, or sent a loving text message to someone you do know.
Instead you left a nasty comment.
***
There are people who wait and people who create in life.
The people I’m talking about don’t fall into either one of those categories in a way. They don’t wait, they don’t create, they destroy.
If from this video one such person is turned to doing something constructive instead of writing a nasty comment next time the opportunity presents itself, then this video and article will at least have done something.
Questions Of The Day:
You may not be a ‘troll’, but there may be ways you know you waste energy that you know you would rather spend on productive endeavours – even if for 5 minutes.
If you had an extra 5 minutes today, what would you use it for that’s important to your life?
Excellent.
It is a rarity to witness someone who chooses to not hate on their haters. The sincerity you exhibit is striking and you wear it well :). Though having been the recipient of attack in your line of work, you choose the path of understanding and educating. Your true colors are vibrant and inspiring Matt. Thank you :)
You probably haven’t been watching ‘I’m a celebrity..’ in the states but the Olympic swimmer in it talked about how she gets sent nasty twitter messages about her looks, it had her in tears.
I think it all comes down to what is outlined in the book ‘How to win friends and influence people’ – people have a strong need to feel important. Case in point, the man who shot JFK! We all want to be heard, to be noticed, to be listened to and be influential in people’s lives. This is why we all comment your videos, to speak and be heard, it’s not a diary after all.
If people spent less time trolling others and more time learning something they might find something interesting to say people might actually want to listen to. (Like this pop-psychology babble, I hope)
Hear,hear.People take kindness for weakness,when its quite the opposite. I recently tried to encourage my colleagues to take part in a Christmas charity for disadvantaged children.The overwhelming response was negative and I was accused of being a ‘DO GOODER’ as if being labelled as that is a bad thing ! The main antagonists were, as usual, the ones who shout the loudest but do the least, are always negative and ripping someone’s character apart .I am constantly at odds with colleagues because if I can be nice,why be nasty ? If i can help,why be obstructive ? If I’m able to encourage someone, why pull them down ?
I find it sad that being pleasant/helpful/encouraging etc is viewed in such a negative light.I take your view that their attitude comes from a place of unhappiness.
Each day I try to remember ‘something good can happen to me and something good can happen through me’
Thanks for the video ,keep up the good work.
I utilized 5 minutes of my time and watched ur video
Glad you spoke up on this topic Matt. It’s true. Lot of negativity out there. It takes the same amount of time to write something positive as it does negative.
You inspired me to take 5 minutes and write out Thankful cards to my family which I’m going to give to them on Thanksgiving!
Thank you Matt!!
you’re right, and it’s like they enjoy seeing other peopel fail in something or they were waiting for them to do something wrong, it’s just sad they are so empty to the point that they prefer make other peopel feel wors than they are already feel than do something useful.
thanks for this video and thanks for talking about those kind of peopel :)
Great insight and amazing idea to simply suggest to destroyers another way. It is so easy to be caught up in a group mentality of superiority and separation… but why not support each other. I rarely go on CNN and when I do I always say, “Lets see how many seconds until they say “tragedy, scandal, crisis, fear…” It’s never more than three seconds and there is always the drum sound affect to make your stomach drop. When I was in Europe I noticed their style of news was more inclusive and kinder. It made me open up and feel I was a part of the world and world events in a positive way. Our news can make you feel scared and disempowered and disheartened. I know that is a part of what creates a destroyers mentality. Some people have been taught incorrectly and dont know any better. I long for the kind of message you sent today. Be a person who helps themselves and others. A voice of true strength because it heals, empowers, and lovingly bonds. Stewardship of society and the earth. Not pillaging.
These people are cowards and probably have a very low self-esteem. Social Media just like the web can be great forces for good but they can also be sources of great distress and hurt when used in this way. We are a disposable society where accountability seems to be a rarity rather than the norm and things just like comments are ‘throw away’. People need to start valuing themselves and others before we see a change in attitudes, less selfish, more selfless. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of people out there like that, we just need more of them. X
Love this video, Matthew!
If I had an extra five minutes I would message my older son to ask how his day is going. I have a younger disabled son with many needs and it is so easy to expect everyone else in life, particularly my older son at University facing many challenges in life, trying to get a job for one, to allow him to completely take precedence.
My younger son is completely without malice and makes the most of every minute of his day, creating, learning. We just cannot understand when last week one person managed to shut down two home education groups with their malicious trolling.
There’s no control of them just to say what they want, which is something vile and destructive and they ruin it for all. I am at a loss of what to say. There is no excuse and the damage being done is untold. It is an awful modern dilemma, I hope it stops. I hope the papers stop encouraging it. I hope your bringing it to light stops it! Very brave stance to take Matthew. Bravo.
Kathryn xx
I think, with all my respects, that you´re wrong in various ways:
– If someone is a troll he doesn´t spend 5 minutes in a comentary. He spends 15 seconds or so.
– They usually do it for two main reasons that are not the ones you said: they´re bored or just want attention.
– There are a lot of ways of trolling: one is in something serious (like your example) or in something not so serious.
– If they want attention you just have give them what they want and you have shown that trolling is a good way to achive attention. In other words: what you just have done, even though it is done with good intentions, is highly counterproductive.
The way to treat that kind of internet personallities is not to pay attention because if you do, you feed the troll.
I totally agree with you, Rumors. Still, I like to see people like Matt saying what he’s said. It makes me stronger!!!!
Firstly it’s ‘achieve’ not achieve, and secondly, I agree with what Matt has said and actually maybe his comments will make them think. It’s not going to go away just because you ignore it!!
Thaks for the correction. I´m spanish so all the corrections you could do are great for improving my English.
In the other hand I think that the kind of people that troll on internet don´t mind if Matt or any other person say that things to them. Agree to disagree.
I agree with Rumors. Destroyers think they are creators. They feel that they are being productive. Trolls will feed off of any response they get, positive or negative. Negativity will increase with any attention it gets. Focus on the positive and moving forward, don’t be a troll yourself.
Yes. In somethings it´s fine to talk with them if they are open to make them realize when something is serious. But, in the case of this post, it just feed them.
I alwayz wonder if things like this do get to any of those people you are talking about. I guess it has to happen, statistically. It is pretty amazing to think about it, at least to me…
Er What????
Lovely message, Matt!!
Unfortunately, destroyers do not know how to be productive and they are not interested in learning it.
We can do our part to make a better world.
“Dear Trolls…” also funny!!!!!
xxx
Matthew,
Don’t say other people. I am put off watching your fool-mouth videos! Have you watched Vlvis’s Fox Song videos in YouTube? They are sweet and fun. But if you watch their other videos, you would know exactly how I feel watching your fool-mouth ones!
But nice to see that you are not a nice guy, but a good guy!
Thanks for your input Matt. It has always struck me how people can “show up” behind a computer screen and a username, to bring forward such evil energy and insults, as they were entitled to. I just thought it wasn’t ok as human beings, but you made it a teaching material about goals.
Best wishes for you,
Ana
Wow… It’s amazing how people can see so many shades in a situation that for me is so … black and white. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for colors, diversity, relativity, but some things are just this: black and white, simple, plain, purely right or wrong, it doesn’t matter how you want to color it.
I fully agree with Matt here. Regardless of the the situation, if we use our time, energy, creativity to do something kind, positive, gratifying for yourself or for someone else… life would be so much better, wouldn’t it?
And if we know something that can make life better… why not do it, right? :D
these Destroyers you talk about are only part of a different society than the one you and me are living in. For them, the world is a very dark place. And saying fuck you means literally “I Love you, you fucking assface!”
Its a survival instinct. Its anger. Its raw and rough.
YOu want life to be daint and pretty matt. It aint. It is so not.
Life is a very complex story. Life is light and dark. and grey and every color of the rainbow. But whatever you do, dont be grey. Whatever you do, dont tone yourself down to “fit” a certain society stigma. It only comes off as false. TO ME. I hate false people. YOUre not false though. YOu are afraid. Another thing. Of what Matt? Of what?? Of being rejected? Of being a social paria? YOu could never be that (again) cause youve come so far now.
YOure building an Empire. An Enterprice. A Starship Voyager.
WHo is Kirk? YOu seam more like Spock to me. Get real Matt. Who is this person behind and infront the camera? Beside the camera? Who is your CREW matt? Only you? No…you have a team that weve heard of but never seen. YOu work alone? DOnt think so.
Well…I hope you learned something while making that video Matt. That destuction in it self. Isnt bad. Its another kind of creativeness. Its EVIL: yes- but, its not unhealthy. >:D
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Matthew you are a completely beautiful person inside. You`re love is shining out of you. It was so inspiring to watch you cause you`re eyes told it all. Thank you for giving me constantly something to work on and the way to do so. You do all right. You really reached something. I am so happy for you. I wanna be this kind of person too, who inspires people to reach their standards, to be better. I wish you this happy live you really deserve. I am looking forward to meet you once and in between I am working on myself. God bless you. You are unbelievable great. Happy Sunday.
Thank you for shedding light on this – your insights are consistantly helpful.