Does Life Get Any Easier?

Here’s a quick video on the hardships of life, why you need to find what you love, stick it out and keep going.

In the interview mentioned, Jerry was asked if his work was still difficult, to which he replied, “your blessing in life is when you find the torture you’re comfortable with.”

We can take this one of two ways; to be either depressing or empowering.

One of the great myths of our society is that things get easier.

–Get rich quick and your life will be easy…
–Find a relationship and your life will be easy…
–Six-pack abs and your life will be easy…

But life doesn’t work like that! It’s not that simple.

Life stays difficult.

I see my job as a coach not as helping make people’s lives easier, but helping people graduate from doing hard things they hate, to doing hard things they really enjoy.

For me, running GetTheGuy is no easier than it was 5 years ago. More opportunity can mean more work, but I enjoy it more, and that’s the difference.

The aim isn’t to make an easy life…

It’s to find something you love doing – a torture you can endure, and something that energises you.

With that said, sometimes you’ll be doing something hard that you don’t find fun, but just because it’s not ‘fun’, doesn’t mean it can’t be fulfilling.

As another personal example, I love boxing – not because while I’m doing it I’m having so much ‘fun’ – but because at the end of it I feel amazing and I get excited about going the next day.

Find a form of ‘torture’ you can enjoy.

Find something that can become part of your DNA and give it everything you’ve got.

Don’t stop because it’s hard work or because it’s not paying off right now. Keep doing it because you know it’s something that drives you at your core.


You’ll have noticed by now that GetTheGuy is bigger than just love life and dating advice. It’s about creating a life you love.

As the perfect compliment to videos I’m putting out here every week, if you want cutting-edge strategies for attracting a man, building chemistry and getting a guy to commit, check out my online program The Man Myth and take back control now.

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97 Replies to “Does Life Get Any Easier?”

  • Hey all

    Reading all these comments has been so amazing. It really feels like we have a little community here doesn’t it? Feels like we are all a team in it together. I love putting these videos out there for all of you each week because the feedback I get in return is so rewarding. I love that you really think about the issues, and respond to me with such generosity, whether it’s simply to say thankyou or to tell me your thoughts in return.

    My focus right now is on providing as much value to you as possible, and I feel really privileged to have a group of people who appreciate what I create.

    Thanks for being here. Thanks for commenting. And thanks for allowing me into your lives.

    Matt x

    1. Keep up the great work Matt! I love your enthusiasm and dedication.

      next time don’t distract us with your abs! …or biceps! lol lol

      thanks for the wisdom


    2. I agree with you 100% We are often told, “find a career/job you love and you’ll never have to work another day in your life.” In these tough economic times, this may not be possible for a lot of people. My brother in law studied architecture at one of the best schools for architecture. After he graduated, he couldn’t find a job, but he had a special needs child and a wife who worked full time to get him through school that needed his help, so he got a completely different job. I’m sure he would much rather be creating and designing. However, this is what he can do at this time, and he can either embrace it or be miserable. This approach, where we acknowledge stress is a part of any job, and move past it, is a more realistic approach i think (than waiting for the perfect job/career/moment).

  • I am probably in one of the worst places I have been mentally at the moment. I was always the girl with a plan and a back up plan and so on. I was doing sales and everything was sooooo demanding but I was good at it because and this might sound silly for a sales person ” I liked talking to people and never forgot that they were people not things, so was good a finding the right solution or the person”.

    I took a job that was not perfect but “I believed” had the possibility to provide me with very good sales experience. I was was so wrong, 6 weeks in the job role and contracts changed for everyone and my manager was stealing deals from me. In addition to this she let everyone believe I had slept with someone at work, she did so much things to me and I do think some of it came down to jealousy.

    A few years ago this would not have been a problem to the same extent it is now. My relationship of 10 years came to an end almost 2 years ago “this was my first love” I found I had lost my best friend, family and lover in losing him.

    I have dated but no one has been right for me “I was 17 when I fell in love” All the the things I was working for were for us and it was the same for him. Part of me thinks if someone can be so right for you and you can love each other the way we have and it can still not work when will it ever be right.

    I have not dated anyone since last year and I don’t know if I can….. attracting men is not the problem but i’m petrified of everything to do with caring right now.

    I don’t have a plan anymore and for the first time my life feels like chaos. I ran my life of hopes and dreams and now I cant seem to. I know I am a good person because I worked to be one but I feel like sometimes the bad things happen to good people and it makes me sad at world in general. I am not just disappointing in my life, I think i’m broken.

    This is as honest as I want to be right now.

    p.s trust me Matt your a normal guy and there are not too many out there.

    plus more of a lover than a fighter but so want to slap Sydney…. I think someones frustrated lol

  • Hey don’t try to distract me with your abs! :D

    Really enjoyed this video! Time to lower some too high set standards and out and find a torture that I love to endure!

    Thanks Matthew!

  • Matt, YOU MADE MY DAY WOOHOO! I love the positive attitude and it is true! Sometimes things happen and we have the power to respond to these situations in a confident & positive way :) Sometimes, challenges and struggles are exactly what we need in our lives so we can build our character,skills and strength!

    Thanks for always being SO awesome and for doing these amazing, fun & refreshing videos!

    Vicky xox

  • Aww :”-), my inspiration, you fill me up with Joy when you talk with great passion.

    To me, tourture is routine because I find it hard to stick to routine for so long with out going off track. My resistance training can be hard work, plus my maths and english studies drain my brain to the point of being tediouse.

    I’m coming to the point of realizing that if I don’t stick to things then I’ll never amount to my full potential. Life can’t be fun all the Times and for sure, routine can be boring for everyone.

    Defently the best form of torture is in sexual content. To prolonge sexual gratifacation can get to a point were you think I can’t take anymore of this and then the pay of is so mind blowing and intense.

    It would be the easiest thing to not put the effort into reaching that point but talking from experience it doesn’t half compare to full body satisfaction.

    Case in point I think that should apply to every area in life, not just the good.

  • life depends on the way you thinking . if you see life is hard , then every thing even the easiest things is going to be hard . but if you see life is easy then every thing in your life is going to be easy . even if you face hard times you will find the easiest way to make it easy and you will enjoy . what i’m trying to say is your life depends on the way you thinking , so be careful of what you thinking .

  • I enjoyed the video Matt, thank you! I needed that right about now as sometimes I fall into a rut with work but you are completely right, the torture now is meaningful and important for improving and reaching one’s full potential. P.S. we all wanted to see your 6 pack abs, haha!

  • Hi Matt,

    You are so right. Without torture we cannot grow. Anything worth fighting for will necessarily encounter obstacles. Always enjoy your videos!

  • Great video! Torture one can endure, that drives you, part of you… Inspiring words I’ll post on my office wall to keep me writing, loving, and carrying on. – Thank you!

  • Your videos are so inspiring Matt, I come from all the way in New Zealand and really find it differcult here with men and meeting them but also life can get tough sometimes and these kinds of videos are really encouraging! Keep up the amazing work you do :) x

  • Hi Matt,

    Thanks for another video. So, I work in marketing at an interior design firm. It is torture and not what I love to do but for now, it is helping me to do what I really want to do which is fashion design. It is hard to make a living on just designing since I’m at ground level so I am working this other job full time to pay the bills, and it helps fund my art studio and items for making clothing.

    So for now, it is torture, but I am learning through it regardless. What I want to do full time and what I love is fashion and designing and I make time for it by going to my studio before work in the mornings most days of the working week.

    But my question to you is then what if it isn’t possible to just do what you love and want to do? Like in my situation I’m not able to just choose that and do that full time because where I am at with it would not provide enough income for me to live–pay rent, etc.

    So, I am pursuing, but in the time I have even though I am at a job I’m not fond of but provides that income to do what I love until it progresses.

    So, what do you say to that, for those who are in these types of situations? Advice?!

  • Matthew,
    Thank you for the passion and quirky humor you bring to these videos.

    It’s a funny thing; today’s message reminded me of what I learned about in college regarding learning a language. It’s the idea of comprehensible input: when acquiring a second language, you need to be working at your level, plus a but beyond (i+1) because it’s at that point that your command of the language expands. So it is with life: we do our true growing and expanding when we’re working just beyond what’s comfortable, a ‘torture sweet spot’, if you will. I think the frustration comes from when we find ourselves in situations that feel neither fulfilling nor expansive. Perhaps when we’re asking whether things will get easier, what we’re really wondering is if in the struggling and stretching, we’ll find fulfillment, which is something we uniquely create for ourselves.

    Well done. I disagree somewhat with the use of the word “torture”, but then again, I’m a stickler for semantics. ;)


    1. Karina , I love the phrase, “torture sweet spot”! — stretching us beyond our comfort zone, but something that is still doable.

  • Just got home from a 2hour drive and decided to check my email, to find a topic I had just talk about with my mom on a long trip,which reminds me of something someone once told me. You don’t ask GOD to take your problems away you ask for straight to care on through your problems or struggles . When things are easy we don’t gain experience and we don’t learn to appreciate our accomplishments.

  • I can’t believe I’m still awake at this hour but I’m really glad you posted this because it’s exactly what I feel I’ve been realizing these past few days. I believe life is about learning and progressing and anytime you are learning it isn’t very comfortable the key is to take and step back and say, What can I learn from this situation and how can I apply it to my life? When I do this it’s usually easier to get through that torture and get on with whatever it is I’m doing :)

  • Hi Matt,

    Jameson seems to be a funny guy too…he should make an appearance in the next video…! :)

    Thanks matt, for another great video…about life, and not just about love!
    Many people think that having a guy its gonna make everything ok….and its not!
    we must work everyday to be happy, to fight for our dreams, to smile even you dont have anything to be happy for, but will give you strenght to work it out!

    i usually say this: we only value the things that dont come easy! (we have to work hard, the things that come easy, go away just that fast!)

    :) sorry about my english, hope i will improve this too!


    P.S- thanks Jameson, for ur humor, u made me laugh!

    Kisses with love, Agostinha

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