Don’t Even Think About Rekindling With Him Until You Watch This…

If you find yourself constantly thinking about how to invite someone back into your life… Or if you have an old flame who keeps coming in and out of your life…

Please… watch this before you do anything else.

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Matthew:

You were with this guy for three years, you had a great relationship?

 

Event Attendee:

Yeah.

 

Matthew:

He then out of nowhere broke it off?

 

Event Attendee:

We had issues. It was a lot of stress, which is what I think, and also –

 

Matthew:

So he broke it off on New Year’s Eve and now it’s been two years and now he wants you back?

 

Event Attendee:

He’s been trying to make contact with me in the past, but I always blew it off. But now he showed up in person so, I have to –

 

Matthew:

Well, the things that broke down the relationship two years ago, do you feel confident that they’ve been resolved?

 

Event Attendee:

I feel like we can work through it. Yes, I do.

 

Matthew:

Does he?

 

Event Attendee:

Yeah.

 

Matthew:

Do you believe him when he says how committed he is?

 

Event Attendee:

Yeah.

 

Matthew:

You do?

 

Event Attendee:

I do, yeah.

 

Matthew:

What has changed in two years that makes you suddenly think, “I can trust his intentions here”? And not just his intentions, but his ability to follow through. What’s changed?

 

Event Attendee:

I feel like he lost me and he felt the consequences of that, and he tried to make several attempts to contact me and I turned him away. And he felt that consequence of not having me around and having to actually go out there in the world and date other people, and try to find a relationship that was right for him and he failed. He couldn’t do it.

 

Matthew:

So look, it happens all the time, two people pick up again years later and sometimes it works. What you have to be, if you’re going to do this, you have to be confident that you’re not going into something blindly, that really all that’s changed is he’s had time away to miss you, but the actual fundamentals of what made you not work before haven’t changed. You need to be really careful of that. If the fundamentals have changed in the time that you’ve had apart, and two years is a good amount of time, don’t get me wrong – it’s better, two years than two weeks in some ways, because if you’re a part for two weeks and someone says “No, I realized the error of my ways” well, have the fundamentals really changed in two weeks? The things that broke us up? Probably not. Two years is a good amount of time, right?

 

Event Attendee:

Yeah.

 

Matthew:

But you have to feel confident that the fundamentals of what broke you up before have changed, and that that means you can intelligently say, “Things actually have a real shot at being different now.” Otherwise, you’re just going in blind. So you may want to have those conversations with him. Right? “Hey, I need you to get out of grovel mode. I need you to get out of desperation and panic and you’re going to lose me and you’re freaked out. I need you to get out of that because right now I need to talk to you as two grown-ups who – you’re asking me to embark on a new journey with you. And we, as two grown-ups, need to have a conversation about whether anything is really different or whether you just miss me and you haven’t found anyone better.”

 

Event Attendee:

Yeah, because –

 

Matthew:

Right? “Because I don’t want you to want me because you didn’t find anyone better, because it’s not about whether I’m better, it’s about you wanting me as a unique individual. It’s not about whether, ‘Did I find anything in two years that compared?’ No, I don’t want to be that because one year from now you might find someone who’s better than me in some way and then what am I going to do?” Right?

 

Event Attendee:

Right.

 

Matthew:

“I don’t want someone who’s weighing me up against the rest of the world. I want someone who’s decided, who’s made a decision that they want to build a life with me. That’s what I want, and that has nothing to do with whether I beat everyone else on every category or not. That’s a card game.”

 

Event Attendee:

Right.

 

Matthew:

Right? “I’m not going to be with you because you didn’t find anyone better in the last two years.”

 

Event Attendee:

Right. I don’t want to be his backup plan in any way –

 

Matthew:

Not even his backup plan. “I don’t want to be the person you come to because suddenly you realize I’m great.” Right? Love is a decision. Commitment is a decision.

 

Event Attendee:

A big one, yeah.

 

Matthew:

Right? You don’t commit to someone because you go, “I’m never going to find anyone better.” Right? You commit because then what happens if you do? You commit to someone because you say, “I feel it in my bones I want to be with this person and I’m going to go all-in with this person and whoever comes along in my life from now on, it doesn’t matter. It’s not about whether someone’s better or not. It’s about the fact that I’ve decided to build this relationship.” So that’s what I would do. I would have a real conversation with him, a serious conversation with him. Not based on romance because of course, it’s romantic after two years being apart, to get back together again. Fuck, that’s exciting.

 

Event Attendee:

Yeah.

 

Matthew:

Of course, how could it not be? How could it not for the next year be a honeymoon?

 

Event Attendee:

Yeah, I know.

 

Matthew:

Or six months or whatever?

 

Event Attendee:

And feelings are coming back.

 

Matthew:

But it’s not about the feelings, it’s not about the honeymoon, it’s not about the romance. It’s about, “Have the fundamentals changed? And I need to talk to you as a grown-up now. Not as someone groveling at my workplace, but as someone as a grown-up who is either going to be in a serious relationship with me in my life and build something with me or someone who is just here because they’re panicked, and I don’t want you here because you’re panicked.”

 

Event Attendee:

And I kind of feel that, now that you mentioned it, because he keeps saying like, “Okay, I’m 37, I don’t want to be 40 and just starting a family.”

 

Matthew:

Right, that’s about him. And say to him, “That’s about you, that’s not about me. And unless I feel it’s about me and until I feel it’s about me, you being panicked is not a good enough reason for me to give up my life.”

 

Event Attendee:

That’s so true.

 

Matthew:

Okay?

 

Event Attendee:

I have to have that big conversation.

 

Matthew:

All right, it’s grown-up shit.

 

Event Attendee:

Yeah, thank you so much.

 

Matthew:

Thank you.

 

************************************************************************

 

So a bunch of you are probably watching that going, “That was really great, Matt. But the person in my life isn’t racing back to me and this is someone I really want, this is someone I really care about. I’m trying to rekindle something with this person, but I’m not getting that energy from them.” I just did a training with my fast track VIP members – which literally just happened a couple of minutes ago, we still have comments coming in right now about what I said – where there was a question from one of our members and the question was, “How do I get my ex back?” By the way, not a question I like, but I have to answer the questions that I’ve been asked. “How do I get my ex back? We are still able to converse and text. I have backed off a bit, well a lot, but it’s so hard. Thanks, Julie.”

 

So, Julie is one of my members and asked me this question and whenever someone asks me a question like that I try and have huge integrity in the way I answer it because most of the time I think it’s a terrible idea to get your ex back. But I also acknowledge that there are certain situations where either there is the potential for something to be rekindled and it’s something that could actually be good for both parties. And I also know that there are times when someone’s going to try to do this regardless of whether I give them an answer or not. So my view on this is at least there needs to be a powerful, High-Value way to establish contact or re-establish contact with that person if you’re going to do it.

 

So in this member’s webinar that I just did, I literally gave a blueprint for having that conversation with an exact script of what to say if there’s someone in your life that you’re not ready to let go of and you need to see if there is any potential still there. But I have very carefully worded this script so as to make sure that you come across as confident, in control, and you protect yourself in that conversation. So this is something that ordinarily would be reserved for my members, but I’ve cut this little piece out because I know it’s relevant to so many of you out there asking me these questions every day. To get this video training, that’s completely free by the way, I’m gifting it to you, go to this link right here.

Let it be said by me now, that I believe it’s probably, most likely a terrible idea for you to want or try to get your ex back. But I know that if you apply what I show you in this video, that it’s going to give you the best shot at rekindling something that should or could be rekindled, and is going to protect you either way, so there’s no losing. Check it out, go to this link and I will see you there.

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

13 Responses to Don’t Even Think About Rekindling With Him Until You Watch This…

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  1. Lucy says:

    I broke up with a long term boyfriend a month ago. Last week I got a ten page letter in the post from him which was so painful to contemplate reading, that I put it immediately in the recycling. We had broken up a few times before when he promised he would change but we kept running into the same problems. A big thing for me was that he wouldn’t say sorry after hurting me or using a harsh tone without me badgering him. It feels so silly to break up over something which to me seems so easy to remedy…then I feel guilty for pulling the plug on the whole thing. I can kind of understand the conflicted emotions this woman is feeling.

  2. Claire Latham says:

    I’ve just gone through something which is similar to this lady.watching this video of Matt talking to this lady really hit home to me as I’ve had a off and on relationship ,dont even think it was a relationship.,with a guy who comes back saying me misses me and my company. I get sucked in hoping things will change. He comes on strong ,then bang it’s back to the bullshit.So third attempt and im done I’ve just finished it for good as nothing has changed. I think he only wants company as he is lonely .He tells me he wants his space , on his terms. yeah 1 got to see him 1 day a week for a hangout and a sleepover and we live 10mins away. No effort from him really. And i tell him what i want ,,what needs to change,but nothing really changes. My gut tells me he was in contact with someone else while we were together this time around. Some people want you back but only on their terms or for attention to feed their egos. As Matt said you can miss someone but you need to understand and want to work on what broke you up in the first place. This has been a traumatic 2 half years for me dealing with this man and it’s been a learning curve

  3. Tami says:

    I rekindled with my ex after 3 years of being apart, our relationship was great for 7 years, but I didn’t want to just play house. I wanted a commitment but he wasn’t ready. So I moved forward and had a lot of fun, but no one compared to this man. I stayed in touch, we played golf occasionally and had lunch but I kept it right there. He asked me to help him pick new carpet out for his house, which I remodeled over those 5 years we were together. I guess it just clicked because 3 weeks later after hanging out more often he surprised me and asked me to marry him. Of course we had many talks about expectations and he is all in. This man was so guarded with his whole life but now we share everything. Don’t just settle, if you’re not getting what you want out of a relationship move forward and have some fun! Life’s to short to be unhappy!

  4. Magda says:

    Hi Matthew!
    I don’t give a d..n about getting my ex back. In fact, I want to find a man of high quality and high standards and with whom I can build a great and lasting relationship. This video actually applies not only to whom wants to get their ex back. It is perfectly valid in all the situations. We should always feel that our man sees in us a unique person and not just an option which is better than the other that are currently available on the market.
    Thanks for all the precious coaching you are doing. And best wishes to all the ladies. Hugs from Italy!

  5. jolly says:

    I also feel the same for the last 2 years I am in a relationship (1-year distance relationship). when we started a distance relation he started ignoring me like showing he had no time for me although most of the time he used to watsapp online but no talks in between us so one day I blocked him for 15 days and he started texting me for apologies. Since then it was smooth his more interested being romantic instead of in conversation. we are just in namesake relation we don’t talk for 7 days like only weekends that too useless talks. I feel he likes some other girl which he doesn’t have the courage to tell me and using me like a tissue paper. I am trying to get rid of this shit but again I am pulling myself the dig. When he talks automatically my heart gets melt. I need help its too much done with the

  6. sherien akasha says:

    The link doesn’t work?

    • MH Team - Sara says:

      Hi, Sherien! Sara here with Team Matthew Hussey! We’re so sorry the link isn’t working for you. Here’s the direct link to watch this video on Matt’s YouTube Channel: https://youtu.be/OtMD9Lfch9A. Also, if it’s not too much trouble, could you please send us a screenshot of the error you’re seeing so we can have our tech team investigate it? You can send that screenshot to us at support@matthewhussey.com – thank you so much!

  7. Marita Roth says:

    OMG, this opened my eyes! As I broke up with my ex couple of years ago and have not been with anybody ever since I have lately been regretting it. Now that I think about why I broke up with him I realise that nothing FUNDAMENTAL would have changed! Big point! Thank you again Matt!

  8. Susie says:

    The video last week and this week is not working. Gives me an error message.

    • MH Team - Sara says:

      Hi, Susie! Sara here with Team Matthew Hussey! We’re so sorry you’re encountering an error message. Here’s the direct link to watch this video on Matt’s YouTube Channel: https://youtu.be/OtMD9Lfch9A. Also, if it’s not too much trouble, could you please send us a screenshot of the error you’re seeing so we can have our tech team investigate it? You can send that screenshot to us at support@matthewhussey.com – thank you so much!

  9. Sharon England says:

    You mat are a god send from the first vid of trying to get what I thought I had just ain’t enough hes younger than me and I think I know I better than wtf he is giving me I used jumped it when he came through the door now I jump to me thank you

  10. Trish Lee says:

    So true Matt! Yes “because you haven’t found anything better”. This mentality is unwise to get anybody back.

    Thank You Matt!!!

  11. Nicole says:

    SO SMART> Love listening to this, thanks Matthew for helping people be grown ups! Love is a decision. Commitment is a decision. Brilliant and beautiful…just like you. Big hugs.

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