4 Dangerous Reasons You Fall In Love Too Fast

She thought about him every day when she got home, remembering that perfect moment on the boat trip when he took her hand and pulled her tight to him.

But then… he never called…(I know, it’s horrible, right?)

The truth is, this often happens because of some very simple mistakes we make when it comes to falling in love. In this week’s video, I’ll show you how to avoid them…


►►  Make this the year you create Confidence & Happiness in yourself. Go to → MatthewHusseyRetreat.com

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

42 Responses to 4 Dangerous Reasons You Fall In Love Too Fast

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  1. Dina says:

    Hi Matt!!! Love all your work you have done!!!! I wasn’t really in relationship, but I liked this guy! & he told me he liked me too, but he wasn’t ready for relationship because he just got out one. He said he doesn’t like to jump from one to another . Meanwhile we were just talking and hang out at the restaurant that I owned. After 5months of taking one day I went to his house. He was ready to have sex with me . I took your advice and I told him if we do this , is this going to be just me and you because I don’t sleep with other people. And he said of course it’s not safe out there , and I know you’re not like that. I am just not ready for relationship . I didn’t know if I was ready for relationship either I’m very busy with my life owning a business and getting my son ready for college . But I really liked this guy. I thought we agreed. And we sleep together one more night after a week. I know this’s he was being a little distance and I told him I don’t like the distance behavior that’s not what I’m looking for in my life. He said to me again that he wasn’t looking for relationship and he just wanted to date and sleep with other woman . And I told him to go and f him self… I said that’s not what you said that night. I thought he was Mature guy coming to the restaurant with his 2 kids he is divorced too. So after that I did apologize that was senc April. We didn’t see each other any more. And now he’s with someone . I thought he wasn’t ready. How they ready for some other girls in 2months??? And I waited for five months . I am just really Hurt but all this . I don’t know if I can trust any man ???? Please help me. Love Dina.

  2. sherry says:

    Matt god bless you for your valuable advice on relationships. There are so many obvious things which we tend not to see when we are in love. And being in love is also being in the most vulnerable state and your advice is life saving.
    Please continue your wonderful videos. Thank you so much
    Love and hugs

  3. Rebecca Waite says:

    Thanks so much for the Advice, I’m sort of in a relationship with someone who has been hurting me emotionally.. I’m trying to come to terms with myself to be okay and I sh9uld probably let him go… What advise would you give me to communicate with him to end the relationship and reclaim my self respect andd gain emotional strength?
    Thanks in advance for your help!

  4. Sharon says:

    Thanks Matt. I just want to say; I love you,you’re really awesome and what you do for us ladies is ridiculously spectacular.You’re in my prayers and I just wanted to take today to really appreciate you. Thanks once again. Cheers!

  5. Jordan says:

    Lol you said onus.

  6. Tara says:

    Thanks for this video, Matt (and Jameson!). It’s been very healing for me. I had one of these “perfect moments” in 2014 and thought this, plus a few flattering messages afterwards, were a sign he felt the same. He didn’t. I found out later he did this regularly and I sank into a deep depression for the best part of a year. I felt freakish and foolish on top of lonely and isolated. I then resolved to create a great life for myself which eventually led me to the retreat in Dec 2015. As my Father still says, it was the best thing I ever did. I value myself now and have a much, MUCH fuller life. I’m at significantly less risk of something like this happening again, although it’s reassuring to know I wasn’t alone in this experience. I’ve learnt a lot and know I need to have stronger boundaries. I hope other women heed the message and can make it to the retreat if it chimes with them.

    • Wendy says:

      Thanks for your comments Tara! I just had to call it off with a guy I’d been seeing off and on for 8 months or so. The same stuff in this video happened, but he always came back to me so I kept lying to myself that it would be “different this time”. Now here I am emotionally scarred and hurt by a guy that honestly isn’t someone I’d normally choose (player as you referenced) and never intended to put in the effort all bc I didn’t hold to my boundaries. They are so important.

  7. Meggan Stewart says:

    Hi Matt.:) I love your videos. Followed for couple years now. Your content is a breath of fresh air. :)
    I’ve noticed a common theme among several pieces of advice you’re constantly giving is for women to stop investing when they’ve stopped being invested in. It seems like you’re asked this repeatedly. I apologize for people who haven’t understood that, maybe some never will.
    I saw a post from a girl on your Facebook, she mentioned aunthenticity in your videos like you had couple years ago. I agreed to some extent…
    So, we don’t want you to feel like you’re repeating yourself. You have made a difference in of course not all but in large amounts of people.

    To keep you going, should you change things? Write another book?- for the more advanced learner? Focus on different goals? Start coaching men again? We love your content, and we want to take care of you too:).

    Loved the video.

    A dedicated follower of your team,
    Meggan Stewart

    • Sharon says:

      Well said Meggan! I found Matt back in 2011 and absolutely love his content! He has really stepped up his advise to match dating in 2018.. which is distracting & confusing!
      I too would like to hear more real life dating advice from the male perspective. I think when Matt speaks to single men dating the way we are, it is quite helpful!

      Be Well!
      ~Sharon

  8. Leone says:

    I said wow so many times while I was watching this video. Not just because I am in the situation that you are talking about right but I also admire how you are so clever seeing through things and make it super easy to understand! Thank you Matthew. This is my favorite video of 2018! You saved me!

  9. Olga Heim says:

    I love this video – it’s one of your best! Helps so much to understand more about why I do this. Being starved for affection and attention, and wanting to fall in love, are two big reasons. Also, thinking about the fact that the guy could just be good “in the room”, a.k.a. he’s charming with everyone, helps. This is a great reason to go slow and see if he is actually going to invest or not, which in my case he did not invest very much and our distance (2 hours apart) was the reason he gave. It’s taking me months to get over him, even though I only knew him for one month, because I fell so hard.
    Thank you so much for your advice and encouragement! :)

    • Lara says:

      The same thing happened to me girl! And what makes it harder is when when they come back (again and again)! (I feel like they always do!) But then I just look at the list I wrote to remind me how I felt when he dissappeared and why he’s not good for me. ;)

  10. Victoria says:

    About time truth be heard

  11. LiningUpDucks says:

    Everything in this video is spot on. Look at actions over the long term. If there isn’t reciprocal investment overall, walk away.

  12. dmarie says:

    I do not agree that we (women) are reading too much into a situation or a man’s feelings, (or that we are considering it a “sign”) when we make a connection with someone. That is not a sign, it is the typical progression in the development of a relationship. ….and when it does not progress as is typical, and a woman is hurt, it isn’t because her expectations are too high or she is emotionally starved and grasping at straws, it is because the guy is being dishonest in some way. Either, he is already invested in another relationship, likes the girl, but likes someone else more, is afraid to get involved and hurt, has problems with intimacy, etc.

    • Kate says:

      I like this explanation alot. It puts the blame back where it originates from, & I think it would be fair to say it goes both ways, this and what Matthew said. Let’s face it, it does get lonely out there. The players know exactly what their doing and hide as much from you as possible to get an easy NSA evening with a nice, interesting, fun girl. They also keep thinking they can always do better, having found the right chemistry, and feel they aren’t ready to settle down. Take care of YOU.

    • Kimberly Michelle says:

      agreed

  13. Elaine says:

    So true!!!!! Thank you, Matthew for reinforcing self worth and mutual commitment

  14. Nana says:

    Hey Matthew,

    I have been watching your videos the last couple of months. Just want to say thank you. Your videos have helped me in my self worth especially in the area of interacting with men and keeping my standards. But it has also helped me to understand their side too and not be a snot when I have been one lol. Anyways I really liked this video today it really spoke to me, and the part that keeps speaking to me over and over is: Are they putting in the investment? I appreciate that point you keep driving home so I don’t waste my time on those who are not interested in a relationship.

  15. jamie wade says:

    WOW…. needed to hear this although I already knew it!! Will remember this and play this again when I’m struggling with a situation!! You are awesome at getting to what our minds know but hearts struggle
    with:)

  16. Alicia G says:

    This is GOLD. Thank you for saying what I needed to hear today. I will be re-listening!
    Big <3<3<3s
    xx

  17. Dee says:

    Thank Matthew I walked away…m wish I could afford your retreat but between jobs ..

  18. Cal says:

    Thanks Matt

  19. Laurie says:

    This is the reinforcement I need to hear to stay strong: “If he’s not investing, the onus is on you to walk away.” Matt, I love how you get to the heart of the matter and the way you remind us to value ourselves. Thank you!

  20. Hunny says:

    Good video but I coldn’t stop looking a that white piece of fluff on the couch :-D

  21. Kim says:

    Thank you for that message! Perfect timing and exactly what I needed to hear!

  22. laura Cunningham says:

    Hoping this is my year to finally get it. The universe keeps throwing these types of guys at me,(the non investing ones), but I’m feeling stronger than ever thanks to you Matt. I’m creating the kind of life I am happy with just being by myself, but still theres the niggle of wanting to share that with someone each time I meet a guy. I’m very conscious and aware of this though, so reeling it in is pretty easy now. Still need to get myself unstuck from my ex who moved away, but still comes over if he’s in the area to help me fix things around the house, have sex, eat dinner, stay over and go back home the next day. I’m soo close lol

  23. LINA says:

    listening to this, makes me feel one emotion, sad.
    sad on how there is no longer any value or meaning to any special moment – or even the “the moment”itself.
    Everyone wants to live the moment, while they are actually devaluing the moment and the feeling of that moment itself. \

  24. Gabriela says:

    My story was similar to this. But luckyly ( before this video) last week I finally ended my thing with a guy who i had a thing like this. We had been doing this for 1,5 year. I told the guy i’ve had it and i want to move on! So to see this video made me feel that i really made the right decision. To be honest ”leaving” him was not even that bad because we had broken up so many times before and i already knew that nothing serious will ever happen between us. So if a guy is not giving you what you want then just let go and move on.

  25. Malokinji says:

    Wow. I have to say this is probably one of the best messages you’ve sent. It really resonated with me. I’m slowly and rather painfully learning this lesson about people (not just romantic relationships, but friendships as well). It seems I’m always willing to give and be more to them, than they are to me. There’s oftentimes this disparity in my relationships.

    You really struck a chord with me. I find myself now, with trying to avoid paying the cost of all of this – is that I feel I’m becoming more and more closed off emotionally. I’ve become very distrustful of both myself, my perceptions and experiences, and in people who have claimed to be genuinely interested in me. While I know my worth, my actions are not always reflective of that. This message has served to remind me of what to look out for in those times when I’m doubting myself and my experience – and that I may just be getting caught up in the feelings associated with the moment, rather than the emotional availability of that person.

    Powerful message today Matthew – I really appreciate it. This is one going in my Favorites for repeat viewing for sure!!

  26. Jasmine says:

    Scared of being alone.

    Too trusting and romantic

  27. C says:

    Wow this totally makes sense. Thank you MH!

  28. L says:

    If you heard this message, and continue to pine and wallow, it’s on you at that point. A very similar thing happened to me. And I spent 2 years wanting someone that had no interest in a relationship. And worse, I wasn’t able to move on in my head to give other guys I dated a chance. Great guys that I pushed aside waiting for Mr. Wonderful to figure out that we would be perfect together and I was “the one”. The problem was, he wasn’t thinking much about me (watch Matthew’s video about low investment guys). And there was no way I was ever going to be the “one”, because he wasn’t going to stop playing anytime soon, and maybe never. I’m not a 20 something dingbat either. At the time I was 43, an accomplished professional, smart, fit, fun, kind, and attractive. He was 48 and those descriptors were the same for him. Bottom line is, I don’t blame him for the two years of being caught up in this unrequited love thing. I blame myself for making too much out of something I shouldn’t have. Thankfully, I woke up and decided I wouldn’t waste one more minute of my life. That change in thinking allowed me to meet someone fantastic. Wehave been seeing each other for a year now. He’s every bit as fantastic as “Mr. Wonderful”, but the difference is, he’s not in playboy mode, and he and I are in the same place in life of wanting the same things. This love is the right kind of love. It’s based on mutual feeling and the “what’s happening here and now” rather than what I pictured and wished for with the other guy. Actions ladies, never just the words. When one loves and cares more than the other, it’s going to fail. And it is going to hurt. Badly. Listen to Matthew. Everything he has said in this video is SPOT on. Take your life back. And remember your worth!

  29. Penny says:

    Exactly. Married to a narc and I must admit it is the best thing ever in the beginning. It ends up being only about them at the end. It takes years to learn this because you really believed you are soul mates. They are the best masterminds. Sad. Almost 10 years of learning this now. I will know what to ask and do when I start dating again. Ask yourself if when was the last time you even mattered. Thats what started popping up for me and my mom helped me realize I was being gaslighted. Overtime you really lose your mind! Glad I have learned these terms to now see and notice what is happening as they happen. Worst feeling in the world.

  30. S says:

    Sadly, he’s right. But it’s too bad 99% of the guys that I’ve shared those “near perfect moments” with are not feeling same way as I do. Worst part is, that after all my years of dating practice, wisdom, and selectiveness I’ve acquired, it’s very far and few between to have these types of intense, lovely connections. Hence, it makes it harder to swallow my pride and just put it in the memory box.

  31. Lisa says:

    Matt, I have been watching your videos for over a year and they are invaluable but this one was the best. I have been emotionally and soulfully sucked in with a guy that I knew in college (over 30 years ago) for the past year. Every time we speak there is an immediate deep connection, but then he disappears. When I let him know I need him for a minute he is nowhere to be found. I couldn’t figure out if he was a narcissist or what but when you used the word “invest” it finally clicked for me. Bottom line is it doesn’t matter if he is truly in love with me or just a narcissist or whatever, if he isn’t investing, he isn’t good for me. Thank you so much for finally getting my head straight on this “relationship”. Such a simple word is so key!! You are awesome! Thank you!!!

  32. Hannah says:

    This is exactly what I am going through right now at the early stages of this “almost” relationship. I invested much more than I should and got strung along the whole time.
    Thanks Matt for this insightful video.
    It’s time for me to stop investing too much, sit back and see how things actually go.

  33. A. says:

    Thanks. Exactly what I needed to hear this morning.

    Walk away.

    –Autumn

  34. Sheena says:

    Dear Matthew Hussey.

    This is me right now… an emotional masochist. I’m new to this dating thing and I’m 24. I only saw 2 guys so far and I was already making a huge mistake falling for the first guy. I can’t help it. Funny. Last night I broke down after having 2 glasses or Martinis and 3 glasses of rhum and coke in front of…. my mom and stepdad during a fun family get together. That’s when I realized I gotta end this casual thing with him that he isn’t investing as much time with. He’s a nice guy but I knew I wasn’t the one for him. I just like him… a lot. Now I still got tears in my eyes, having a hangover, realized that enough is enough, and decided to end things with a nice talk with him. Then at 7am, you’re video was a wake-up call and a confirmation. I will love myself and improve myself even more. I wish I can go to your retreat but I can’t afford to go. Thank you for the words that really do help us all women out here. Love you lots.

    Sincerely,
    A girl who has a big heart she lets almost everyone in until it breaks.

  35. Cleo says:

    I’m going through this situation right now, not with one guy, but 2, and is because my deep desire of falling in love, and This video as come in perfect timming. One of them is MPIing me and the other played me in ways that I’ve never expected. Thanx Matt, again you’ve saved my heart. In need to move on.

  36. Ana Moon says:

    These 4 minutes are priceless, the best I’ve ever heard. Many women fall in love simply because they feel miserable by themselves. And about the narcissist man… danger ahead.

  37. Kristel says:

    To the dark bottomless mailbox…

    I know noone will ready this, it’s just not possible to read all the hysteric obsessed women’s letters I completely get that

    I just figured this is the appropriate place to write this…

    When my email went DING today I literally said to myself “oh that will be Matt” which I personally find hilarious because
    A) I get A LOT of emails, mainly work
    B) I’m not seeking attention, I get plenty
    C) I’m not that desperate, at least not yet..give it another 6 months maybe
    So to come to that realisation that “Ah yeah, it’s late Sunday, it will be Matt” I found it really amusing so thank you, you strange soul somewhere in the world for becoming apart of my Sunday routine

    Regards,

    Kristel

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