Fear of Rejection Paralyzing You? Then Watch This

Fear of rejection is one of the most human things in the world. We all experience it. But how can we learn to manage it, live with it, and even occasionally, overcome it?

Watch today’s new video to find out…

Don’t Fear Rejection. Fear Regret.
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Matthew Hussey:

I’ll take rejection over being 90 years old, looking back on my life and saying, “Well, I never got rejected, but I didn’t do much either.” So I’m not going to sit here and tell you you’re not going to get rejected. Of course you’re going to get rejected. I’m going to send you out to be rejected.

Sometimes we make it very personal, we make it about ourselves, and that’s when we start saying, “Well, if someone that great didn’t want me, then there must be something wrong with me. I must not be as great as that person.” We take this person and we make them a global representation of what the world must think. Instead of seeing them as a person, an individual, or seeing this as a moment.

If we want somebody and then that person didn’t want us back, now that’s going to turn us off, because “everyone should have wanted me and the next person might not want me either.” Well, the truth is there are many, many, many, many, many people we aren’t going to want us. But what are you more fearful of, getting rejected again, or living your life in a cave?

 

Caller:

I guess being in a cave.

 

Matthew:

The biggest waste of life is life wasted on these kinds of negative ideas that stop you doing things.

You like someone. It’s nice to have that feeling, so enjoy it. But secondly, keep things in perspective. I’m going to show the real sides of me, and this is either going to drive this person wild or I’m not going to be for them.

We create these big generalizations about how attractive we are based on this tiny moment in our lives, and we’re taking things too far.

Set the bar lower. Make it so pathetically small that you can’t not do it. That’s all it is: small risks every day, and always remind yourself that you can sleep at night knowing you tried, but the thing that will keep you up at night is knowing that you didn’t even put yourself out there.

Those moments where you feel yourself getting really nervous, I want you to remind yourself of something. This is: There isn’t something so great to lose right now. So I don’t want you to get too in your head about it. Sometimes we’re so like, “Why didn’t this person like me?,” or, “What did I do wrong?,” or whatever, when the over-analyzing thing is what’s creating more of that. Instead of overthinking everything, I just want you to be like, “Hey, we should hang out sometime. We should catch up sometime.”

You can be confident enough to take a risk, but then what you have to do is be confident enough to sit back and let him do something. So you could take a step forward, but then see if he comes to meet you. “Oh, there’s another cute person over there, I’ll go talk to them.” And half the time it’s when we go talk to that cute person over there, that the person we really like looks at us and goes, “Oh, hang on.”

I’m just as afraid of rejection as you are, but I fear regret more. But if you decide rejection is the scariest thing to you, you’ll always avoid guys. If you decide that regret is the scariest thing to you, then you’ll go out there and you’ll talk to everybody and you’ll have an amazing time doing it because you’ll know no rejection could be as painful as the regret you will feel later on.

The important thing is that we continue to work on ourselves. We continue to make ourselves the most incredible version of ourselves. And we keep searching for that person who not only has great qualities but also wants to shine their light on us and say, “Yes, you’re the person for me.”

5 Responses to Fear of Rejection Paralyzing You? Then Watch This

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  1. Ramona Fingersh says:

    I want to really embrace my best me. Sometimes it’s hard to do when the mental abuse I endured comes crashing in like hurricane. I know thatbi have a lot to give someone. Trying to learn what my mistakes were in my last marriage so I don’t repeat those mistakes. Not fair to make a new person pay for the old flames short comings. Your very good at what you do thank goodness I found you and the others I listen to. Sure wish you lived next door so I could ask a million questions. Thanks

  2. Shanae Wells says:

    Great advice thank you Matthew.

  3. Kate says:

    I fight everyday with this….I throw myself out there and get rejected often. That’s not what bothers me the most. I’m fearful of being abandoned. I have MS, recently diagnosed. I fear becoming a burden yet don’t want to fight this on my own for the rest of my days, not that I can’t I just don’t want to. ISO I go out there and rejection is almost an expectation. On the other hand, I don’t know what to do when there’s interest and I think I push away. Somebody help me sort me, this is intolerable.

  4. Lisa says:

    It’s not always that easy. Being abandoned, not accepted as you are, having your boundaries severely violated and domestic abuse by your caregivers can trigger CPTSD from being a child, which is survival fears and panic attacks and junk that are not so easy to control.

  5. Shivanthi Kulasingham says:

    As always, another great video filled with pure Insights and Wisdom. You truly give the BEST advice. It speaks to the heart. It is not just relationship advice either, it is life advice!! Your advice speaks to my heart and encourages and inspires me to go out and apply it to my life. Thank you.

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