“Eww…look at that stomach.”
“I hate my chubby legs.”
“I wish I had better skin.”
This is how we talk to ourselves every single day.
In this week’s blog video, I share a story about my own moment of body insecurity, and give you 2 ways to INSTANTLY improve your body image so that you can walk through the world with confidence again.
100 Replies to “2 Ways to Instantly Feel More Confident in Your Body”
You are absolutely right. We can not compare ourselves to others because it will take us to a very constant unhappy place.
I’M the bad ass! I have younger people come up to me and say “wow you look great! I hope I look as good as you when I’m your age” lol!
Thats so awesome Deborah:)))
Trying hard to be positive… But wait… why are you sitting on the edge of your seat?
Naah.. JK awesome tips, bro! as always. I used to have a really low fat percentage and started out to prove that you can have a crap diet and still smash it by exercising like a dog… and then I stopped working out :| fast forward 5 months and I
m still eating crap but not working out at all.. My biggest challenge is just to get back to where I was 6 months ago. Thank you.. youre remark about ‘where will I be 6 months from now if I did nothing’ totally hit home. Thank you!
After hearing your msg, I once again, leave feeling inspired, motivated and happier. Thank you Matt!
I see in myself and in countless other women body and overall confidence shoots up in dance classes. I take pole dance and the focus there is on what you CAN do and on a personal progress. I raised my own daughter with the same focus – on what you CAN do, in dealing with people, situations, with yourself. When you focused on it, comparing becomes an inspiration, a motivation to find ways and to put effort.
Warm regards, Matthew
THANK YOU SO MUCH! I’ve completely missed this. My body type, my category — YES!
This was so motivating to me. I never really thought about it but I still compare myself to girls who are younger which is absolutely crazy I know, because older women still do it even though it is next to impossible to do. I am still motivated however to do exercises because it makes me healthier and feels good. I will now be looking to aspire to someone who is more my age and is still fit and healthy.
My ex husband would say things like ‘you have the face of the Madonna but the rest of you is blasphemy’, or when i was pregnant with his child, I’d be admiring the baby bump (I lost the child in the previous pregnancy) and he’d just say that some men like to have fat wives, and it’s because they are stupid men. Can you address this kind of body image pls Matthew? I’m scared of dating for fear of hearing the same words again; I’m not even sure how to start trusting men again. I’ve gone through all of your material Matthew and haven’t found anything so far that addresses this. Pls help.
Matthew, having just completed a PhD around this topic I can say that women are socialised into talking about body image, unlike their male counterparts. As you say ‘comparison’ happens all the time. Men tend to make downward comparisons i.e. ‘he isn’t as good as me’, whilst women may make upward comparisons ‘I wish I looked like her’. It is a good point that you make about not aspiriring to be like someone who is not your body shape. I would also add that look to your age group too. It is no good hoping for a body of a twenty-something when you are pushing 40. The body shape alters with age. Best wishes to you.
“Socialized” into talking about bodies?
Aren’t there basic biological differences in how our brains, hormones and bodies in general structured and work? And in how our body shapes are built differently, with female bodies generally being more appealling aesthetically?
Which all give a logical difference also in how we look at our bodies.
As long as it’s the women who give birth to children and nurture them, and also, as long as its women whose creativity manifests more in creating beauty and harmony also in the wax we look, it will be natural that women talk more about body image.
I don’t have a PhD in the subject and don’t aspire for one, but this is just how it would all make sense for me.
The other thing: It is true that the body alters with the age – however, one can do extremely much to influence that. I am now getting close to 50, but (apart from a medical condition affecting my legs, that takes some te to get rid of) I look better than many 20-year-old girls, or how I did in my 20s. And certainly there are more ladies like me.
It’s first of all about attitude – where we come back to Matt’s video.
Thanks for this video! Recently I gained weight from all the late night dinners with my doctor boyfriend, our hours are crazy.(Which as an aside is going amazingly thanks to all your tips on being high value and actually meeting loads of guys. I am literally so happy).
Not happy with this I realized I needed to shed this weight. I went online and found images of my favorite celebrities with my body type. In the past I compared my self to the model body type. But in reality, I am an hourglass shape and I always failed to look like the models…a bit silly since I am not tall.
Long story short, in the past two weeks I have never done so well at reaching my workout and healthy eatting goals. I think it is due to the attainability of the goal.
Really appreciate you discussing comparisons to others. Something I think everyone struggles with at some level. I am in a pre-doc program where comparison is the name of the game. It can get suffocating. I also have a newly diagnosed med condition which makes daily life significantly harder. I end up getting discouraged since simple things like doing dishes is challenging, so when I see friends in my class who are killing it it can be hard not to be discouraged. How do you suggest I deal with this. For the most part you don’t hear about things like medical conditions. Do you have suggestions for who would be a good role model?
I know what you mean about medical conditions – I don’t think there’s a quick way to handle it. I have gone through this (improved now but still there) and it forced me to be more patient with myself. It also made me think about my self-image and what I based it on. The ability to get everything done when I wanted to was history. Try to look at yourself with compassion and take good care of yourself!
That is a simple, but profound motivator for me… In 6 months if I continue this… Or if I don’t continue this, what will be the result?! Not just working out…. But can relate to many things.
Thank you!! Btw… I appreciate all of your videos and podcasts, etc. And I think you’re dreamy too. :-)
A friend lost 100pounds in a year. She was always the big lady in our group. now I’m the big one and I will use her determination and strength to motivate me.
That is an amazing video and a great insigh. If you do want to compare yourself to anyone choose the right body type.- of course this make much more sense. I believe that most of us reach the point that we really start liking ourselves more and this becoming less of an issue.
Thank you Matt, keep up the great work!
Eh… Many times I compared myself with other women and felt angry and frustrated because I knew I’ll never look like them. But few months ago I found some vlogs about body shapes and how to dress them. The vloger is one of the most popular in my country filming about ladieswear (and not only). The big plus is she has the same body shape like me and she is my inspiration now. Plus I started eating better and doing some activities I like (e.g. zumba). I feel and look better. I need a lot of time to understand this simple thing .
Kristi… Hi …..what a great idea ….
THANKYOU …I’m now off to look up sites on body shapes.
im an 80s kid..we didnt have all the pressure as far as i remember..society types are all the same now..some of us are just human beings.
Focus on performance goals and allow the body to adjust in order to achieve those performance goals. The focus is being able to do what you want to do. Focus on shape or numbers is not personal and easily becomes obsessive. As we work toward goals, our bodies will adjust and change in order to enable us to achieve those goals. You may not have arms or abs like celebrity X, but your body can do what you want to do.
Thank you sooooo much for this, Matt! I’m going to be in a fashion show next month… 1 of the 3 plus-size models, though I don’t see myself and never did see myself as plus-sized, this categorizing has really been screwing with my head and body image. And as someone who tries to go to the gym regularly and has a significant amount of weight to lose, while this fashion show was motivation in the beginning to be consistent in my workouts, its had the opposite effect on me… This labeling… Frustrating.
But, this video was a sweet reminder that I can feel and AM beautiful just as I am on my way to where I want to be, and what anyone else has to say about it flat out doesn’t matter. I am not going to for a second compare myself to any other women during this rehearsal today! Lol…Seriously. Or any other day for that matter… I’m going to give it my best shot not to anyway.
I love you and your videos, and Matt, while I understand that even you are not exempt from battles with body image, I want you to know that you’re so very incredibly handsome… A heart-throb indeed <3
Its was really helping…..i love it bloke…..keep up with the same✌
How to you gain positive body image around having such low thoughts, and bad past experiences where men have made comments on stretch marks etc, and then you have major anxiety about exposing yourself In a new relationship?
Dear,I absolutely love that you put it out coz its really a good question and I felt the same about it. Have delivered 2 beautiful kids, pregnant at the moment with 3rd, and stretch marks are every mothers nightmare.I was always watching my daily intake,especially during pregnancy. Just to tell you, every woman has stretch marks, atleast few on some places. It can be from weight changes so even skinny ones are on list. But if it bothers you so much, try to use tanning cream or go to tanning salon coz it truly helped me. And guys, they don’t mind that, trust me. They mind your charm and self esteem. They don’t see that much as we think they do, so relax and love yourself,I was also very unhappy till I realized that they (the men) absolutely don’t see what all we suffer from..there is no perfection,and always look at all good you have, not what is missing.it will help you out. All the best and be positive about yourself always. With love Jelena
And one more thing dear, find a man or a guy who will love you or like you for your smile and enthusiasm. The guy whose basics are not on body. That guy will give you the strength to go over insecurities and even to laugh at them later. But be patient, don’t let others knock you down,wait for the right one, you will instantly feel when you find him or he finds you :) mine has found me simply because I wasn’t even looking.and when it happens, you will fly over all of that and trust me even laugh at past :) I wish you all the best and don’t waste your time on worthless men. X
Mat …..you make me smile …you are so astute …THANKYOU.
I’ m 55 so I’m PROBABLEY about the same age as your Mum..and I can’t help thinking …..” Gosh …what a great job she has done ….what a great kid ”
I love your way of inspiring us …..wishing you the very best
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