Feeling lonely…

Loneliness. I’ve felt it too.

But I’ve realized over the years that there are ways to break free of this and feel empowered and connected again.

If you’re not sure where to turn right now, make sure you watch this message…

►► Don’t go it alone. Let’s take this life-changing journey together…MatthewHusseyRetreat.com

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

152 Responses to Feeling lonely…

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  1. Paula says:

    Thank you so much…. really….

  2. Martina says:

    Matt and the team, definitively this podcast matter to me. Not only I learn here new things…but you make my life happier. I feel this place as a community and when I watch your videos it makes me feel less alone in this world. Honestly, I cannot imagine my life without you anymore :-) I hope this “meetings” never stop. Thx

  3. Penelope says:

    I have stage 4 cancer and am going through an overseas divorce. Im too scared to get involved, my husband was very abusive, both mentally and physically. Im working very hard to end the marriage as i refused to die being attached to such a monster, in nz… but I’m lonely i wish to be with someone but how do you find someone with cancer…i have been fighting both cancer and trying to finally be free..i have purposely avoided relationships until I’m no longer married.. I’m hoping there is someone out there but thats a lot to hope for??

  4. Penelope redmond says:

    I have stage 4 cancer and am going through an overseas divorce. Im too scared to get involved, my husband was very abusive, both mentally and physically. Im working very hard to end the marriage as i refused to die being attached to such a monster, in nz… but I’m lonely i wish to be with someone but how do you find someone with cancer…i have been fighting both cancer and trying to finally be free..i have purposely avoided relationships until I’m no longer married.. I’m hoping there is someone out there but thats a lot to hope for??

  5. Joan says:

    Thank you, Truly Thank you.

  6. Christine Mesquita says:

    Excellent video. I have so much to say about loneliness in a relationship. I agree on the companionship.My work is a very fun place to work because I get to interact with so many people during my shift. But when I come home I feel lonely and isolated. I live in house with my son but feels like we are stranger.At times for days we don’t see each other or talk with each other. I come home try to be positive and start with my music loud as possible to get that feeling I am not alone or lonely.I will think about having companion relationship.
    Thank you Mathew

  7. The woman that does´nt need the guy says:

    Everytime you start to say impact I start to drink wine! It´s kind of fun! People should start to be more humorous. You know sometimes I´m annoyed. How to get the guy, how to be successfull, how to be not lonely…. But what is about being yourself? Doing what you are loving to do? What is it about to being free and not to do care about every little feeling? Thanks to your videos I start to realise that I wouldn´t change the way Im texting a guy or how I do should talk to him. I start to realise that I really do love myself and if I´m to strong, to agressive or to weak or to shy.. than the guy isn´t good enough for me! If you feel lonely do what makes you happy. Easy. If woman would realise that they are enough and that they do not need a man to complete themselfs, the world would finally change. And it would be nice if you would learn how to get the girl, because your talking of how to attract a guy is really selfish and arrogant.

  8. Olivia Harris says:

    Not finding people to think alike with… so TRUE. I need people I can just bounce around ideas with!! Many of my friends think of me more as a mentor. I really feel so blessed to be in a position where I can help everybody, but I do wish I just had a group of friends I could think with! (*Who are also kind and fun people. I get a kick out of all my friends for different reasons, but it’s just hard to find all three of those traits in the same person!)
    I love watching your videos Matt, even when they’re things that don’t pertain to me like long-distance relationships I love the way your mind works, and even after I’ve found my guy, I’ll always keep up with your new discoveries about people and life! You’re eternally interesting and wonderful!!

  9. Claudia says:

    Always hitting the spot, Mathew…This video came handy tonight :)
    And you are right, you do feel like a long distance friend that it’s just there when you’re in need of support, or a bit of reflection, wherever I am at that particular moment.
    Hugs from Gaza

  10. Adrianne Kipp says:

    Love you, Matt. Thank you.

  11. sandy says:

    I wanted to comment on this video. I agree on the companionship. I agree that one can be lonely in a relationship. Have experienced both. I ve also had more fun and laughter in times away with girlfriends than I have ever had in a relationship!

    Interesting fact, nurses undertake one to one nursing in an intensive care unit. Sometimes nurses spend 12 hour shifts monitoring a very unwell patient in single room. They are isolated from communication with other members of staff. That has caused a problem with staff retention and staff moral.

    Translate that into life. I know I am not designed to be a lone operator. But life has made me that. I live in a house by myself. I work long hours in front of a computer in a non communicative environment! There is nothing at home. Owning a house means responsibility of looking after it, which has kept me for hours at home painting and decorating by myself. More alone time!!

    When I get really tired I get home and I feel very disconnected. I want to connect with someone but there isn’t anyone. It actually makes me feel physically odd! I get tearful and feel narky! Not the best mood to ring up a friend!! So do I ring a up a friend and say I am feeling lonely? I cant really.

    I did say to a couple of friends that I felt very lonely once. All that happened was that they looked embarrassed, stared at the floor! I felt really awkward. They couldnt offer warmth. Not the right friends to share with obviously!! I ve known them for 20 years! If someone said that to me, I would say, lets go for a coffee and a chat and try and cheer them up. Which may help. Just no understanding. So not only have I got myself into this funny set up, I am also connecting with friends who are not giving the right response. They would probably suggest a practical solution such as join a group. They didn’t understand that youd just like to have a chat and a cup of tea and giggle with someone that you know!

    I don’t meet anyone and don’t know how to get out to connect with anyone sometimes and its not a stranger its actually connecting with someone you know that is important. A relationship will not solve those things, but it should help if its the right person.

    Some people are introverts ie they get their energy from being alone. Some people are extroverts ie they get their energy from being with people. So what happens if one is the latter yet there is no people energy around. I feel like a wilted flower!! No good connecting with introverts. Interested in others experiences? How do you all connect outwards?

    • Mia says:

      Hi Sandy,
      Just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge your note. Sorry you had that experience with the 20+ years friends. Maybe later they wished they responded differently. And now you have the ability to be a good friend to the next woman who tries to share her feelings of loneliness. For I don’t think you are alone, ironically, in your loneliness, through no fault of your own. I believe the distinct co-occurrence of western first world factors has resulted in an epidemic of lonely folks that at any other time in history would have been fully integrated members of a community. But remember, there is always a trade-off. Myself, I rarely feel lonely but I often feel grateful for privacy, for free time to pursue my art, for freedom from other people’s demands. (The most exhausted, stressed out, hair-trigger close to 51/50 individuals in our society are working, married or single, moms.)
      Then again, I am lucky that my introverted temperment, as you noted, predisposes me to solo bliss.
      However, if my empathy has moved you in any way, as I hope it would, then maybe you can reconsider your stance on friendship across personality types? Not sure why you ruled out the quiet listeners, lol, I know we have our quirks! But wish you the best, from my corner of the room, where I am hiding behind a book avoiding small talk. ;)

  12. Rachael says:

    This is an amazing message from your video, it came in handy… Thank you so much Matthew…(Rachael from Nigeria)

  13. Karen says:

    Matt, Steven, and the kind yet cryptic voice from behind the camera,
    Thank you so much!
    I’m in my late.40’s, a church secretary,and divorced since 01, with 4 independent grown-ups who call me “MOM”. My salary is just over $300. A week,which is enough and I’m extremely in love with what I do! But I mention it to explain how you’ve inspired me. My life has always been dictated by the age /stage that my children were in, the money I made,or the mean men that I’ve associated myself with. I have been in a ” destination mindset” waiting to live life until I found “the ONE”. Ya’ll have helped me to realize that I can feel strong, intelligent, independent,adventurous and dream….all on my own, and that a partner only adds to my amazing life. You have helped me to see that I have worth as a stand-alone peice.
    Since beginning to listen to your weekly videos, I’ve stepped out on life’s limb. I’ve started to race my car and even got some sponsors to help support my habit! I’ve always been a gear head, but never had the confidence to pursue my heart. After watching one of your videos, where it speaks on investing in yourself and doing the things you enjoy, and how you’ll meet people who have the same interests… I signed up for track days this spring. I couldn’t afford it, so I asked for support in exchange for advertising. It WORKED!” Even my dentist gave me $50.00! People think that I’m ” becoming someone else”… I’m just able to be more of “ME” than I’ve ever been. Thanks guys! I’ve really met someone amazing through this journey with you, someone fun who accepts me,thinks I’m hilarious and is so fun to hang out with! The person is ME! I’ve been waiting for a long time to feel worthy of someone’s love.. When all along I just needed to love myself. You and Jesus helped me realize that I am so worth it! Even if I’m still single! I love you guys! Thank you!!
    P .s. I race again on labor day weekend at Road Atlanta! Wish me luck!

  14. Olga says:

    Im so inspired by this video! Thank you for your support and eye opening ideas! )))

  15. B k t says:

    Thank you ..I find these videos really helpful

  16. Andi says:

    One point you mentioned in this video that resonated with me was that we seek like minded people and find that here. I think this is true. Thank you for all of your work. I listen to your videos regularly and pass them on to my friends.

    Andi

  17. Janelle says:

    You are such an amazingly, beautiful soul, Matthew. Thank you for all you do. I am so very, very grateful.

  18. Betty says:

    Thanks for this message, it’s touching and incredible the way you express this problem that many people have including myself. Thanks, blessings. (Saludos from Mexico)

  19. Melissa says:

    WOW Matthew!!! I woke up around 3am tossing and turning as I couldn’t sleep with crappy thoughts; thinking about finances and whether I could put food on the table this week, life’s big curve balls thrown at me and my ex husband who’s holidaying abroad …. pretty sweet :( generally feeling pretty crappy. I watched your video and just burst out in tears. At the moment it feels that there’s one big party out there and I didn’t get the bloody invite!

  20. Renee says:

    Thank you Matt. My boyfriend died three years ago and I can’t begin to tell you how lonely I still feel. The uniqueness of the situation (it was my 50th birthday; we were only together 9 months; we lived together, etc), it all adds up to a situation that I feel other people can’t relate to. I want to move on and find happiness again.

  21. farah says:

    I’m glad I watched this! I think loneliness has led me into depression. Thanks Matthew, thank you for saying that I matter.

  22. Victoria C. from Ohio says:

    Aww.. my handsome far away friend. :) I actually value my alone time and for sure have moments when I love having comapany and a friend too. I’ve come to realize I don’t need to have an intimate love relationship to be happy although I’d enjoy one and on the look out for the potentialness. I’m also happy with good supportive friends to do fun things with too. So if at anytime we are ever near enough to meet… maybe we can merge our life loving selves and be friends too! Thank you for being you and for all the amazing helpful videos you do for others you rock! :)

  23. Rayya Afkhami says:

    Wow! I love this podcast! It’s only really recently that I have understood how loneliness feels as I am going through it right now. I.e. I understand why people in my life made decisions that they would not normally make or accept and we couldn’t understand why… now I have a greater appreciation and empathy of why. Everyone wants to feel they belong and listening to your podcast Matthew makes me realise that I’m not alone and everyone at some stage, no matter who they are have felt lonely.
    Thanks Matthew, this is inspirational. Thank you xx

  24. Lorry Lewis says:

    You are so kind! Loved your message that “I” am the party! Will incorporate that into my weekend coming up! :)

    Thanks!

  25. Kim Feliciano says:

    WOW Matthew. Difficult to believe loneliness is something that you know anything about.

  26. Erin Beaman says:

    Thank you for this offereing, it was timely. ‘the two most powerful words when we are in struggle – me too ‘ brene brown
    Such and important part of easing loneliness is knowing that others feel it too becuase in that we are not alone x

  27. Vivian says:

    Love your insights and considerations.

  28. Cheryl Kwiatkowski says:

    So sincere. Thank you.

  29. Rebecca says:

    You made me feel less lonely today and helped me to focus on my own party…thank you Matthew x

  30. Sam says:

    I don’t normally comment on your videos but this one really got to me.
    What you said really got to me on so many levels not I have about my personal feeling but my career as well (I’m an A&E nurse).
    After a long shift at work and coming home to an empty flat this video was exactly what I needed to hear.
    Thank you x

  31. Michelle says:

    Your work does matter. Thank you.

  32. Karen ofarrell says:

    Lonely or alone … in a lot of cases they are the same thing.. yes you can feel lonely in a crowd of people .. invisible us hiw you feel.. iakwats helping others .. but not getting anything back.. has your role isolated and in pure turmoil..

  33. Julie MacKenzie says:

    We’ve all been there…at one time or another.. Thanks for sharing that Matthew…Hugs! A very important piece of advice…I know a few friends feeling that way right now…

  34. Olga Heim says:

    Just had to leave a message this time…
    Matthew, you continue to impress me each week with your passion for helping people and your maturity. I am very suspicious of online “gurus” and I was frankly pretty sure you were like all the rest when I first stumbled on your web site last year. Also, since I am 52, I did not think you would be able to tell me anything I didn’t already know… I have been listening to you and reading your words ever since, and I cannot tell you how helpful those words have been to me during my difficult transition after my divorce. I have many of your quotes near me at home and at work to remind me how a high value women would respond because I tend to be a person who always sacrifices for everyone else.
    You continue to follow the right path (in my humble opinion) to the CORE of what we need. Yours is not a surface fix just to make money off of women who want to find a man. I appreciate that and I wanted you to know that what you do DOES make a difference, although I’m sure you receive thousands of emails daily that say the same thing! You were an answered prayer for me. May God bless you and give you continued success.
    Olga

  35. Kristine Gravelle-Rystenbil says:

    Well done Matthew. You broached a very relevant topic care and sincerity.

  36. shantanu kaushik says:

    Dear Matthew,

    I have been following your page and videos from a long time now and they actually relates some or other way.
    I wanted a small advice from you on one of my personal matter if you don’t mind helping.
    Hope you retrieve back.
    Thank you

  37. Ha says:

    OMG definitely your best video ever. You invent yourself and your accurate and sensitive insights every time
    You’re the greatest. I feel I know you for ever and you’re sitting in my saloon for a great talk. It’s so nice to hear what you have to say. Thank you Matt Hussey

  38. Christina says:

    This is so spot on!
    People say to me, You are such a beautiful and outgoing girl. Easy for you to meet a guy and to connect with people. But it’s not that easy.
    Thanks for the reminder in how special and unique we all are!
    Greetings from Denmark
    Christina

  39. Debbie says:

    Love this and the part about how your actions matter and could change someones life. I went through the depths of loneliness recently for several years and found the way for me to get out of it was to reach out to others and forget how alone I am. And that was a kick in the butt from Matthew Hussey. True story!!
    A couple months ago I accidently came across one of Matts videos. I started watching and something penetrated to my core. So what did I do?? I started walking. And everytime I went for a walk Id say (grudgingly of course), “this is for you Matthew Hussey”. I don’t even know Matthew but because I made an effort to get off my but Ive started meeting my neighhors and even got invited to a block party happening today.
    Great video Matt. I know it can be hard to be alone but every person brings value. If you don’t believe it get a pet and youll see. You are their world and thats value!!
    Thanks for this video. One of your best!!

  40. Laurie says:

    Great video, Matt! Really heartfelt and good advice. I appreciate that you tackle rarer topics, like loneliness. I feel that topic is often overlooked or ignored because it’s an uncomfortable thing to admit or talk about. However, it’s just as important to address as finding the right relationship. Thank you, Matt!

  41. Mara says:

    Love this video. It reminded me of something I once read. I ran across these beautiful words and wanted to share them with you and your followers:

    “Strongly etched against the jagged outline of your broken heart is going to be the shape of your desire. And your heart will break into a million pieces over and over again. Let it break. Weep your tears. Love despite the pain, the longing and the un-fulfillment. Because when you open your heart to pain, you’re also opening it to life, to beauty, to all there is.

    If there is one thing I want for you it is to be more aware of what is there, even if you’re dreaming of what could be, open your heart and let life rush in. It’s lovely. The purpose of life was always to feel, to feel all the feelings you possibly could. Tell me, even through your tears, tell me, have you felt? Yes? Then that is enough.

  42. Tatiana says:

    Thank you Matthew!! You came to my life in the moment I needed the most!
    Thank you for your videos, your time and your dedication!
    Looking forward to next week video!

  43. Hayley Smith says:

    This video was perfect! Needed this more than ever this week! Thank you so much Matthew!

  44. Lucie Marcela says:

    Brilliant video Matt!

    Cerebral starvation – that needs to go into the dictionary :)

    You are really helping a lot of people and thereby by the world. If you ever feel lonely, know that you are one of the people on this planet, that is making the world a better place

    Lots of love to you <3

  45. Victoria says:

    Thank you so much for once again hitting the nail square on the head! This IS a video I will certainly come back to! Probably not a significant detail to anyone but me, but I’m looking forward to a future retreat. I just received notice at work that I’ve earned a promotion and significant bump in pay, effective October first. Finally I’m in a position that values my out of the box way of thinking! And a little room for a rainy day fund…finally!!! It’s been a treacherous journey, but I feel the sun just breaking through.

  46. Loren says:

    Great video. Thank you for putting emphasis on loneliness this week. I just sent the video to a friend who I’ve been encouraging to go to a retreat.

  47. Kim Grossman says:

    Mathew,
    I truly admire you and your family and the passion that you all bring to this world. I am a strange alien for many reasons but it has been my work over the last two years to fall in love with myself despite being such a unique and outcast sort of human. You have helped along that path more than you’ll ever truly know. Your videos connect in a way that I feel cozy, comfortable and warm like you and Jameson are enjoying a hot cuppa with me. I have attended your retreat and my 1% shifts continue constantly. I am the dork who gave you and your team the ‘hitchhikers guide…’ book.

    From the whole of my heart, I feel gratitude like crazy!

    Kindly,
    Kim Grossman

  48. Xristope kebrine says:

    It’s really an inspirational.

  49. Oklahoma City says:

    i missed the the broadcast on “Long Distance Relationships” thank you for this one …. i would sit on the sofa and he would walk past me like i was not there once i departed his midst he txt me and asked how i was doing?? wow really ?? Matt keep doing what you are doing …these are good tips, advice and suggestions ..

  50. Megan says:

    Matt, I just sent this video to my dad. At 72, after 20 years of marriage, my step mom asked for a divorce 2 days after Christmas last year. They had just retired and moved to another state one year prior. I talk with him often and he has mentioned several times now that “it can get a little lonely” now living by himself. He talks about how he “doesn’t make friends easily” and as a daughter living 1500 miles away, it hurts my heart to hear him say these things and not know what to do to help him. I’m hoping this video can help him in some way, at least to release the pressure valve of loneliness. Even if it is, how you said, just for today. Thank you for talking about this subject, something we all feel from time to time. xoxo

  51. wiji lestari says:

    I have to admit that I’ve addicted to your channel Matt. They have enlightening me and open my mindset, make me more confidence. Thanks aloy Matt. Hope to meet you in person to have inspiring chitchat !

  52. Ilona says:

    I like the way you present your thoughts, it makes me belive in what you saying. May be I am not ready, just yet, to break out of my “cousy” shell”, which I’ve build over the years but you gave an idea, some sort of manual how to do it:-) P.S. your jumper’s colour lovely matches your eyes’ colour :-)

  53. Randall Blackburn says:

    Good

  54. Uma says:

    Thanks so much for reaching out, when I needed it

  55. Carrie Rose says:

    What a great message for a Sunday morning with coffee – incredibly moving. I read the other comments and I could ditto them all. I often feel like I have no access as my friends who are “coupled” don’t always include me as many times they want only pairs. I will work on “I am the Party!” – “I am enough.” You are my virtual long distance friend – thank you to you and the team for your work, Truly inspiring.

  56. Jennifer says:

    Hi Matthew,
    Yes, feeling lonely can be a bitch, I am having issues with that, but in the same token, trying to figure out if it’s due to a break up or if it’s cause I am going through mourning as my father just passed away as well, but your right, need to get myself out there and continue living cause I cant keep myself in a bubble.
    Thank you for your insight! Going to take your advice!

  57. Sara says:

    Since you brought the subject up, i always wanted to tell you that i love the way you think more than anything else. Like i can watch a video for you about how to get over devorce when you are 40 (and i’m just 22 and never been married before) because i know for sure that i will learn something new you will give me an invaluable life lesson. When I’m watching you i keep on shouting (IKR!!! , EXACTLY!, THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT!) i will never feel lonely as long as you still exist in this world Matt :)

  58. Keli says:

    Beautiful and so Inspirational!! Thank you Matthew and Crew!!

  59. Katie says:

    This video felt like kind encouragement from a true friend. Thanks Matt x

  60. Ameejo Taylor says:

    Thank you Matthew… I really needed to hear what you had to say today. :) I feel like that all the time like I have nothing to bring to the table. I needed to be reminded that I do have something that I am somebody. Thank you Matthew … I can’t say that enough Thank you :)

  61. Christopher Thurlow says:

    Love this video, you make sense to me. I appreciate these vids and feel so good when watching them, I,ll definitely watch more. Keep up all this good work.

  62. Becca Kay says:

    Wow! A lot of the things you mentioned I always try to execute in my life but I never considered the “I don’t want to go if so and so is not going” aspect. It is ridiculous how often we devalue our own importance. Granted, I just don’t want to go because I’m very introverted and large social gatherings are exhausting for me, but I can relate to this and other aspects of my life. I wouldn’t say that I feel “lonely” per se, but I do experience despair especially in relation to my work life. I often tell myself that what I am doing is not important and it doesn’t matter to anyone, but in reality what I do every day is a great import. What I do every day the silicates the ability for thousands of people to receive mental health care that they desperately need. Thank you so much for sharing this today. I desperately needed to hear it!

  63. Angela says:

    You are amazing Matthew! I watch your videos all the time and has helped in in many situations. Keep up the brilliant work !
    X

  64. Jenny says:

    OMG, u have been impacted by Hitchens; I love Hitchens!!!! Connecting, whew!

  65. Ka says:

    You look amazing today, Matt! ~~ I go to your Facebook page regularly. It’s like regular messages. ^^ Wanted to write more in the comment but anyway the first two sentences are off the top of my head so u know it’s true! Thanks to all on your team. Xo

  66. Jay says:

    Just had this lonely feeling in this very moment.
    You made me cry… In a good way :)
    Thanks!

  67. Lorena says:

    Thank you for your wonderful message… i may not follow your weekly video but everytime i’ve watched, there’s always a connection with want i wanted to know at the moment…. it brought certain closer somehow to some confusions and doubts that i have about love.. and life in general…. you also have the gret skills to make us feel, think and make decisions that would definitely will make diference…thank you …

  68. Adriane Garrett says:

    Hello, earlier this a.m. a friend reached out to me and said that she was feeling lonely…that she was wanting to find the right guy for her and her son, that’s she’s feeling lonely because she is 40 and is a single mom and saying how being a single mom is the hardest job….I don’t doubt her, but then something funny happened, I went to sleep after this conversation and when I woke up again I found this email from you with this link to a video about loneliness!! So I passed it on to her; I hope she gets something out of it.

  69. Sabine says:

    Dear Matt,
    I Never thought of following your videos and podcasts makes me Part of a Community. Thanks for that! :)
    Sabine

  70. Helen says:

    Thank you long-distance friend! This was the ‘hug’ I needed today. You have such a wonderful way with words. Your message came along just at the right time & I felt as though you could easily have written that just for me as it was so relevant to my current thoughts & feelings. It is comforting to know that other people think the way I do. I will definitely tuck this one away to listen to again! Thank you & keep up your brilliant work Matt. x

  71. Diane says:

    Thank you Matt, it is very true what you say about feeling lonely…..I am lonely in my marriage of 26 years, more like a married of convenience..

    But I have met someone who is also married, it is a joy to be together with him and it is not about intimacy, it is a connection we share

  72. Elizabeth Thomas says:

    Dear Matthew,

    Thanks for this video! It has to be my favourite video of yours. Yes I am guilty of watching your videos quite regularly because it makes me feel less like a belligerent. So thanks for existing!
    And today you mentioned Alain de Botton – I like his school of life channel too. I have often just wished I could pick up the phone and ask you what you thought about his philosophy in general.
    I do have a request though Matthew , I live in London now and all your retreats are in America. Can you please come back to London for a bit and do some retreats here? Maybe even with Alain? I’d pay good money for that!
    Thanks again and I love your work!

  73. Roxie says:

    Thank you Matthew! You were on point with this message.

  74. Quinn says:

    Loved this one. ☺️

  75. Velania says:

    Matt,
    I look forward to your videos every week. Even if it’s a topic I don’t need I still glean a bit of gold…..Thank you!!!!

  76. Diane says:

    Hi Matt,
    I watch your videos every week and this one touches me most. Thank you for addressing this subject.
    -Diane

  77. Susan says:

    Great video. The loneliness is difficult! But how do you deal with the shame that comes with being single?

  78. Lisa says:

    Wow. I totally cried at this video. Really hit home.

    I feel like there will be a whole lot more than that in November!

  79. Michelle says:

    This was exactly where I was last night… so much so that I prayed to clear my thoughts so I could fall asleep. After waking up to this , I had a small since of clarity.

    Thank you Matt!

  80. Nicola says:

    Thank you so much… your videos are very inspiring and you stopped me from being sad…. thank you.. you reminded me that it’s OK :)

  81. bridge says:

    what a lovely video and message – as someone who has been on their own for the last 15 years (and was most definitely lonely in my marriage before that) I can really relate to all that you say. Lucky as I am to be surrounded by great family and friends I like to think of myself as alone but not lonely (doesn’t always work but it’s a start!). Thanks so much Matt xx

  82. Cher says:

    Oh dear God, why, why did I watch this video?! I wish so much I could believe I have value, that I mean something to someone but, the truth is, I AM worthless. I have lived all of my 48 years taking care of everyone but myself. I gave away everything I had to make someone else’s life better, easier or just to show them that someone cares about THEM until I was empty. Even then, I would dig deeper, until I found more to give away and now, I’m sitting here, bawling my eyes out knowing that I mean nothing to anyone. No one is calling me to ask how I’m doing, no one is knocking on my door just to say I was thinking about you and wanted to stop by, no one cares if I’m alive or dead and frankly neither do I. I have no friends, no family and everyone thinks I’m so lucky but what they don’t know is every day, every single day, I sit alone at home and cry until I’m physically and emotionally exhausted. I have allowed myself to be used and abused by so many people I can’t trust anymore and so I am alone. I don’t know how to meet people, I don’t know how to have friends, I don’t even know how to love someone unless I’m taking care of them emotionally, spiritually, physically or financially. I’m a loser in every sense of the word and now I sit alone, in my own personal hell I’ve been digging for 48 years. I’m so lost, I’m so hurt and I just have no more I can give. I am worthless.

    • Keli says:

      You do matter! Just like Mathew said your actions can matter to even a stranger. You have a community here. Life can be hard and often feel lonely. Start thinking more positive!! Like Mathew also suggested start making your own life the party! You could always start by joining a group about something that interests you and chatting to others online to help with meeting and talking to people again.

    • Syd says:

      When you get into that thinking pattern, it can be really hard to switch gears. I know it from experience. You have to decide if you want it and consciously make the effort to change those negative thought patterns and replace the old habits with new ones. All the best xo

    • Mai says:

      Cher. That took a lot of courage to write with such heartfelt feelings. I can only wish you a speedy journey along the beautiful path of self worth. It is fundamental to all that we do in life – yet self worth is not a subject taught in schools – when it ought to be the most important. I can’t tell you which steps to take and where but know that writing what you have is the first step. Kia kaha from your friend in NZ. Arohanui.

    • Flora says:

      Dear Cher,

      My darling, you’re a brave and courageous soul who is most definitely not worthless. I know you wouldn’t tell that to someone else so don’t tell it to yourself.

      Firstly, start talking nicely to yourself. Stop yourself every time you think a bad thing and breathe. Then change it. Say or think something nice, you don’t have to believe it in the beginning but you do have to do it. That alone will be huge. You need to go very slowly and very patiently. Don’t expect big miracles, you will slip up as we all do, but do expect that you will feel much better next week than you feel today.

      Here are things to consider:-
      Going for a walk when you feel bad. Even to the end of the road or to a park. Promise yourself at least 20 minutes then come back.
      Make a note of one thing every day that you feel grateful for. This can be something as simple as bird song you heard, that you had a lovely cup of coffee or the smell of the fresh sheets on your bed. It is not a waste of time. Life is built on moments and you’re trying to focus just on the good ones right now. Listen to Doreen Virtue, she has many YouTube videos. Her voice is soothing and she does some meditation videos which are very good just to lie on your bed and listen to for a moments.

      I have lived through the most gut wrenching loneliness but it starts with just small actions and you will gradually feel better. Then you can think about seeing someone to help you explore the root behind some of your issues. It’s not something you should have to do alone. Many of us have them.

      I wish you all of the very very best of luck. You have been incredibly strong and by posting on here you have taken probably the biggest step. X

  83. Leena says:

    Thank you for the heartwarming video. I can relate with everything you said. I’ve lived somewhere where I had a LOT of friends, but I had to move somewhere else. it feels really lonely and I find it hard to make new friends.

    Thank you❤️

  84. Claire says:

    this is an excellent video… one of your best Matt. this will help many – thank you :-) x

  85. tanveee says:

    Companionship is the only thing I’m surviving on as a support as I have not been in a relationship since a year because I’m sort of afraid of bring in one I would say due to the horrible experiences in the past…thankyou for making this video on loneliness because it is the thing every second person would relate to:)

  86. Angela says:

    Hello Matthew, I have just watched this video and also read some of the comments from other people. In a world where people expect so much, it’s so easy to forget the little things that make us happy and less lonely… Thank you for being who you are! I am happy to be a ‘member’ of your external team and enjoy your videos and use many strategies from them. Thank you. Angela

  87. Inga says:

    From one long distance friend to another indeed Matt.
    Thank you for the reminder and this heartfelt message. Hugs!

  88. Martina says:

    Thank you for this video. A year ago I felt very lonely even though I was in a relationship. My exboyfriend convinced me that I had no friends. As negative and toxic as it sounds it turned into something fantastic. After a break up I focused all my energy on my existing friends and getting to know new friends while pursuing my passions. I met so many people throughout the year and realised I am my party and I am inviting people to it and they enjoy it. My exboyfriend is invited too (doubt if he comes though ;). And the biggest reward of all was when a relatively new friend turned to me with a loneliness problem recently and this is exactly what I told her. Her appreciation of my friendship and that I made her life somehow better is all to me.

  89. Jennifer says:

    You really have no idea what loneliness is unless you’re ugly, unlovable and worthless. You really have no idea of the pain you feel when you’re invisible. You just. Don’t. Know.

  90. Ivon says:

    I just thought litteraly:I feel lonely. Sunday is my day to visit my parents and my ex, who all are deteriorating, sickness, dementia. So I am not by myself on this day, but it makes me so lonely. I wished I had somebody at my side, during these visits and on the other days of the week as well! :)
    Thanks for sending your mail at the right time!

  91. Debs says:

    Oh Matt, you sound so sad today. I want to hug you right now. Yep, we all feel lonely at times, even when we’re with someone. Know that you are an inspiration to us all, not just in our love life but also as our personal coach. I learn so much from you.
    Love ya heaps! xx

  92. EastLondon says:

    The timing of this was perfect Matt. I have spent the last 3 days by myself because I have school holidays and it happened that most friends were busy already this weekend. Then I saw that 2 local friends I’d asked to meet were out together yesterday somewhere I could have joined them. You reminded me I don’t need to be included in everything others are doing and that, just because I was having a quiet lonely weekend, they don’t always realise or need to change their plans for me. I should have made plans sooner but I was trying to leave time to get work done. In the end the work didn’t quite get done because I was feeling unmotivated and lonely. Too many considerations and not enough living in the moment. I take responsibility for it!

  93. Tamar says:

    Just love you matt. You dont know me, but i feel you’re such a good friend to me. Almost family:) I do feel abit less lonley after watching thia video. I wish i could join your reatrit. thank you for who you are in this world i rally mean it.

  94. Laura Crosby says:

    Matthew,

    Definitely deserved the time you devoted to your message. From your heart, and touched mine as well. Thanks you for your kindness and constant encouragement. This was so very touching.

    Laura

  95. Nora says:

    Thank you Matt!

    This Video saved my life … and I know that sound very dramatic but yesterday I want to give up with all the love things … Im for so long alone and it’s frustrated!! but your words have given me a lot of hope and power … thank you deeply ❤️

    Love Nora

  96. Desiree Sundquist says:

    I’m glad I stumbled across you, being in a relationship with my partner James for almost 17 years I want and desire to know what I can do to keep our relationship happy and healthy. I love that I should flirt even though I really stink at it but it’s one of the quirks that I guess keep him asking for more. I will continue to enjoy your advice and use it to keep him here next to me. Thanks and yes he is still built like a Greek God in ALL THE RIGHT PLACES. Blessings being sent your way.

  97. Davina Pickering says:

    Wanted to send a warm thank you to how you have portrayed this incredibly common emotion that follows so many in the world. its such a compassionate message filled with genuine warmth I truly needed, thank you for always being there to share your logical & rational mindset to such emotionally driven subjects,your advise is continually always my go to Even us rational/ logical thinkers have our weak moments, really thank you. Sending the biggest of hugsssss

  98. Lora says:

    I love this…

  99. Isabel says:

    Matt, it would be really helpful if you made a video about how to support your partner when he/she is not doing ok (mentally or emotionally), for ex. my bf right now is going trough kind of a depression. He makes a freelance job, and things haven’t been going well financially for quite some time. When you can feel your partne’s frustration and all that stuff it doesn’t feel right just to say “it’s gonna be ok”. There has to be something deeper in those moments that one can do to make things feel better in the meantime. Thank you, Matt. I really hope you read this comment and maybe answer hehe ♥ thanks again :)

  100. Jessica Archdall says:

    Thank you for this video it was so beautiful put! I love that your video have become a little ritual on a Sunday! I also want to thank as someone who has been on the retreat my life is so different 2 years on this month. When I’m feel down or lonely all it take is one message to one of the retreat ladies or to look at one of my emotional buttons and I know I am not alone and I am enough and worthy of the life I have and want. My is filled with so much love and joy thanks to lessons I learned at your retreat. I’m not sure how I will repay this gift I feel to have given me but I will find a way.

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