Is chivalry dead? It kinda feels that way sometimes – especially for women…
For guys this is an extremely confusing area.
Women over the last few decades have become pretty damn powerful. They’ve made great strides in their careers and are now the primary breadwinner in many households.
This creates a lot of double-standards that men are now trying to figure out.
‘She earns more than me but does that mean I should still pay on a date?’
‘Will giving up my seat be patronising to this woman?’
No matter where you stand on these specific issues…
Women still want men to be men.
And I want to simplify this area today so that we all know how to navigate our way through this maze that is chivalry.
Stop complaining about men en masse not being chivalrous.
There are people out there everywhere who have no manners, who are not polite, but the only thing you have to focus on is demanding a certain standard from the men you choose to keep in your life and spend time with.
The fact that he didn’t meet you with that standard doesn’t matter if he’s willing to take it on and adopt it.
Communicate your standards to guys and give him a chance to live up to them.
Start acting right. Stop using excuses about society and how we’ve changed.
Be good to women. Stop doing this because you think you ‘should’ and do it because you care.
If you would do it for your mother, do it for every woman (and if you wouldn’t do it for your mother, then you really need to learn!).
Everything we do has to come from a core ‘why’.
–You love women.
Take this on out of respect for ALL women.
Teach your sons to act right. Don’t just tell them to act right around women, show them by the way you treat their mother.
Be a role model for them to live up to.
Show your sons what you expect as a woman as this will colour his experience with everyone he comes into contact with throughout his life.
Don’t roll your eyes and say, “boys will be boys” – that boy is going to be a man some day and the woman in his life is going to pay the price for your shitty standards!
Demand the same level of chivalry you’d expect from any other man in your life.
Send this video on to one person who you know could benefit from it. It could be a guy you know, a member of your family who needs addressing, or a friend you know who is very set in her beliefs on what she expects from a guy.
Question of the day:
What’s the one act of chivalry you would like men to perform more?
169 Replies to “The Future Of Chivalry”
Hi Matt,i love this video and honestly for me chivalry is everything and when a man act the opposite it really puts me off and i start to lose interest in him.As i said CHIVELRY is EVERYTHING!Please keep posting videos like these!Thank you for everything you do.
I really pay attention to whether he let’s me walk in front of him or not, I’m not sure why but there’s nothing worse than a man that seems to be seeding ahead of you when walking. It’s either we walk side by side or I walk first
Great one Iman!
You just saved my relationship.
Hey Matthew (: I just finished your book last night. I just wanted to thank you- Your book helped me to get out of my shell a little bit more, to rethink choices that usually would’ve been automatic. I feel so much better about life already- It’s easier to be positive now.
Thank you for paving the road, for laying down the bricks for me to walk across. You’re awesome. And this video is great. <3
My sister and I were just talking about this!
I even wrote a blog about this…
“no, you’re a dick”…
I love you Matthew!
thank you for this…
Matt, this video was great. I always take notice when guys do something little like holding open a door. I appreciate all your advice in these videos and your newsletter… I feel like I’m learning a lot!
*Clap, clap, clap*
Woooooowwwww!I think EXACTLY the same way!
And, by the way, some people (men or women) demand things from the others and they don´t give what they demand. It´s funny because they criticize the people that are that way or the other and themselves act just like the people they criticize.
What act of chivalry I would like men to perform more? I don´t know. The simple details are often the greatest of all. Just asking if you are confortable is nice for me. It shows that you care for the other person.
Oh, and thank you Matthew for helping me improve my English. I didn´t knew the word “chivalry”. It´s a nice one.
I used to date a BIG cavalier. And he was like that because I allowed him to be! For eg. If I said that I was cold, he would ask me do I want his jacket, and I would say – YES! I didn’t say – No, I will be OK, don’t want you to get sick (years ago I was like that, and I didn’t know why there are no any cavaliers, until I understood that is about ME, I must allow them to be that way, and appreciate it, because that’s what they like. They like to feel masculine next to women.)
So.. To show you that chivalry is not dead, I’ll list few things that he did..
He always opened the door for me.
He was always on time.
One time he saw me from his car, I was walking in the park – he called me to say how good I look.
When we were on gas station, he would open my passenger door to talk to me, while he was fueling car, so I don’t feel bored.
He would always paid dinner.
He always gave me his jacket when I was cold (sometimes I would pretend I was cold, just to get his jacket ;) ).
Women just need to allow men to be cavaliers and appreciated them when they act like that.
PS Thanks Matt for everything! I’m following your work for the last 2 years (but I rarely comment, because I don’t think I have something smart to say ;) ), and there’s always something new I learn from you!
This is exactly the type of video I’ve been waiting for. I always pay attention to how a guy treats his mother and sister, and that’s exactly how he should treat a any woman that comes into his life. Really glad you brought that up! Can’t wait for more videos! :)
You are brilliant, Matthew. Your woman is a very lucky lady. :) Keep these videos coming, they’re a great help…thank you.
Wow! This is great! And a great reminder for me to be appreciative. I like to think I always say thank you when a guy holds a door open for me, but I’ll be even more aware now to not take it for granted.
Interesting article, Matt. Ever since my ex husband started complaining about paying child support, the son in his custody started stealing from me and his siblings who love with me.
Thanks Matt, much love to you.
Thanks Mr. Hussey for sharing this important points!! i completely resonate with the point about raising the boys. …it applies to girls as well… I am impressed in the best sense of the word!!!
Wow, it’s great and fare comment. Many guys are definitely nice and helpful to me. But why 8 out of 10 guys passing by on the street cough at me – and I thought, why guys hate me at the first glance? Although I dress fine and clean. I always wanted to know.
Women stop being dicks! Men stop being dicks.!! Hahahah very true and I really liked what u said. Very insightful. Wish we could put that video on public TV so everyone can hear and hopefully learn!!
This has to be my favorite video of all time!
On point! Well done!
I think you’ve never been so passionate in a video!
I was laughing when you said “you’re a dick!”
Well stated, Matthew. I especially appreciate the bit about mothers and sons. So many mothers let their sons walk all over them. My boyfriend’s mother is a strong, assertive, successful business woman, but when it comes to her son, she walks on egg shells. His father is very sweet, but more mellow than mom. Their son is incredibly well-mannered, polite, and chivalrous in his everyday habits, but he’s also used to getting his way when it comes to other things. It is a challenge for me, because I’m trying to demand certain standards from someone who was raised more like a prince than a bodyguard :/ What does it take to get a guy like this man up???
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