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The Future Of Chivalry

Is chivalry dead? It kinda feels that way sometimes – especially for women…

For guys this is an extremely confusing area.

Women over the last few decades have become pretty damn powerful. They’ve made great strides in their careers and are now the primary breadwinner in many households.

This creates a lot of double-standards that men are now trying to figure out.

‘She earns more than me but does that mean I should still pay on a date?’

‘Will giving up my seat be patronising to this woman?’

No matter where you stand on these specific issues…

Women still want men to be men.

And I want to simplify this area today so that we all know how to navigate our way through this maze that is chivalry.

1) Women

Stop complaining about men en masse not being chivalrous.

There are people out there everywhere who have no manners, who are not polite, but the only thing you have to focus on is demanding a certain standard from the men you choose to keep in your life and spend time with.

The fact that he didn’t meet you with that standard doesn’t matter if he’s willing to take it on and adopt it.

Communicate your standards to guys and give him a chance to live up to them.

2) Men

Start acting right. Stop using excuses about society and how we’ve changed.

Be good to women. Stop doing this because you think you ‘should’ and do it because you care.

If you would do it for your mother, do it for every woman (and if you wouldn’t do it for your mother, then you really need to learn!).

Everything we do has to come from a core ‘why’.

–You love women.

Take this on out of respect for ALL women.

3) Dads

Teach your sons to act right. Don’t just tell them to act right around women, show them by the way you treat their mother.

Be a role model for them to live up to.

4) Mums

Show your sons what you expect as a woman as this will colour his experience with everyone he comes into contact with throughout his life.

Don’t roll your eyes and say, “boys will be boys” – that boy is going to be a man some day and the woman in his life is going to pay the price for your shitty standards!

Demand the same level of chivalry you’d expect from any other man in your life.

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Send this video on to one person who you know could benefit from it. It could be a guy you know, a member of your family who needs addressing, or a friend you know who is very set in her beliefs on what she expects from a guy.

Question of the day:

What’s the one act of chivalry you would like men to perform more?

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170 Replies to “The Future Of Chivalry”

  • Generalizations about how women and men are generally dangerous. Some women like to have a door opened for them, others don’t. And for some others, it depends of the man and the context. My suggestion: a man on a date should ask the woman what she thinks of chivalry if he is not sure of what he should do. Just my two cents.

  • Wow! Thank you Matt. I wish this message would play on every man’s radio on their way to work in the morning.

    You rock!!!

  • Hey Matthew,
    first of all thank you for this video… it made my day :)
    I know many women complaining about their husbands or ex-husbands, but at the same time they raise their sons in a way that will make them exactly the same as their fathers (who these women don’t want).
    I LOVE MEN BEING CHIVALROUS! I appreciate and enjoy every single act of chivalry. What I would like to see more is more men being men :)
    Take care!
    Martina

  • I have a theory that part of the reason guys hold the door open for girls is so they can check out their @$$ as they go by. If a guy is always in front, when do I get to check out their @$$? ;)

    That said, I do appreciate most traditional forms of chivalry. I think it’s different culture to culture. I’m from a big northern U.S. city and now live in a big southern U.S. city. The southern city is where I first discovered the one about men walking on the car side of the street. “Rules” are different here. (Not to say every guy follows them.)

    I agree with you that gender roles are confusing for everyone right now. Maybe it’s just going to need to become a thing about not labeling people and taking everyone as an individual. Humans like to categorize and there’s almost nothing that is 100% true in every situation/with every person.

  • I love you Matthew for everything you said to the guys out there in this video !

    Total Class ! We need more guys like you :D

    Cheers,
    Michele

  • Every now and then a good rant is simply a necessary part of life. Nicely done, Matthew. I wonder all the time what’s happened to honor & integrity. Some things should be done simply because they’re the honorable thing to do.

    And, on behalf of beleaguered women everywhere, thank you, Matt, for holding the door :)

  • Spot on. We need more caring, chivalry and manners in this world. And I have learned to say thank you with a big smile.

  • Yes indeed… as always right on target and straight “in your face” honest. Always a smile on my face after watching you videos.

  • Thank you SO much for posting this video! I couldn’t agree with you more on this subject, especially about moms and dads being the examples and real “heroes” for their kids. And regarding the “tell him opening the car door is important to you” bit…this is so true! A girlfriend of mine told her boyfriend she expected to be treated like a lady in that regard, and he listened! I appreciate listening to your viewpoints, even if I don’t always agree…but you’re charming even then too.

  • I totally agree Matt and I think you’ve summed it up beautifully.

    It drives me mad when women don’t thank men when they do something chivalrous and yet expect them to continue doing chivalrous things. It equally drives me mad when men brush off chivalrous deeds because they think it’s old fashioned or mushy when in fact to not do it is kind of sloppy.

    To me chivalry is SEXY! When a man is chivalrous it shows he’s considerate and thinking of my well-being. It’s such a turn on and makes me feel safe and looked after.

    I agree it’s a society thing and we all have a part to play in this. I ALWAYS acknowledge chivalry from a man by saying thank you and I do my best to communicate to a guy that I really like chivalry and find it sexy (it’s just tricky to do this without sounding like you’re placing demands on him however). But I also love that you’ve raised the notion that parents have a part to play in this too – so right!

    Thanks for the vid. I enjoyed seeing you get all riled up about this actually (and rightfully so too)! Passion is good! :)
    Jo

  • Matthew, your mother raised you right! :) If you were my son, I would be so proud of what you just said in this video. Well done!

  • I think the key is to respect each other. There are many times I hold the door for a guy I think it goes both ways. For instance when I go out with a guy even if he’s just a friend once I get in the car I lean over and open his door. I believe it’s as simple as treating others the way you want to be treated. Ladies if he doesn’t treat you like a lady get out men if your woman doesn’t appreciate what you do find someone who will. Simple as that:) Oh and don’t be discouraged by the negative experiences. Happy dating ya’ll :)

  • Great post as always Matthew! My ex’s mother messed him up – he’s a “little prince.” Mama’s Boy – no one is ever good enough for her little 49 year-old prince. So, in turn, he hurt me, just as your video post said. Side note – I absolutely love what you posted a few weeks back from your seminar – relationship advice for women and how if a man says “I’m not sure about us.” I will follow that advice from now on! Thanks Matthew!

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