Is chivalry dead? It kinda feels that way sometimes – especially for women…
For guys this is an extremely confusing area.
Women over the last few decades have become pretty damn powerful. They’ve made great strides in their careers and are now the primary breadwinner in many households.
This creates a lot of double-standards that men are now trying to figure out.
‘She earns more than me but does that mean I should still pay on a date?’
‘Will giving up my seat be patronising to this woman?’
No matter where you stand on these specific issues…
Women still want men to be men.
And I want to simplify this area today so that we all know how to navigate our way through this maze that is chivalry.
1) Women
Stop complaining about men en masse not being chivalrous.
There are people out there everywhere who have no manners, who are not polite, but the only thing you have to focus on is demanding a certain standard from the men you choose to keep in your life and spend time with.
The fact that he didn’t meet you with that standard doesn’t matter if he’s willing to take it on and adopt it.
Communicate your standards to guys and give him a chance to live up to them.
2) Men
Start acting right. Stop using excuses about society and how we’ve changed.
Be good to women. Stop doing this because you think you ‘should’ and do it because you care.
If you would do it for your mother, do it for every woman (and if you wouldn’t do it for your mother, then you really need to learn!).
Everything we do has to come from a core ‘why’.
–You love women.
Take this on out of respect for ALL women.
3) Dads
Teach your sons to act right. Don’t just tell them to act right around women, show them by the way you treat their mother.
Be a role model for them to live up to.
4) Mums
Show your sons what you expect as a woman as this will colour his experience with everyone he comes into contact with throughout his life.
Don’t roll your eyes and say, “boys will be boys” – that boy is going to be a man some day and the woman in his life is going to pay the price for your shitty standards!
Demand the same level of chivalry you’d expect from any other man in your life.
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Send this video on to one person who you know could benefit from it. It could be a guy you know, a member of your family who needs addressing, or a friend you know who is very set in her beliefs on what she expects from a guy.
Question of the day:
What’s the one act of chivalry you would like men to perform more?
Matthew, based on your video am I correct in assuming that women should not be courteous to men (since men are to be the chivalrous ones)?
I am very curious to know your opinion on this topic.
Well, when you say thank you to a man who holds your door open for you, you’re essentially being courteous because you’re taking his feelings into account and your allowing him to feel even more like a man.
Well said, thanks.
MATTHEW. This video was PERFECT! I get a lot of flack and ridicule from both men and women around my age (23) for the importance I place on chivalry, but you summed it all up PERFECTLY! What vindication I felt when watching your video! Especially good to hear it from a man – a REAL man! I clapped (though I was alone in my room). AMEN!!
Absolutely! ;) …bravo
This is such a powerful msg and wake up call for the public. U continue to give me reasons to be obssessed with U! I am beyond impressed with this video!!! I keep rewinding it on iheartradio. Everyone should live by this!!
Amen! Thank you – finally something positive. I am a strong, independent woman, and TOTALLY support chivalry – and that a woman should appreciate it back. I’m 100% with this! I wish more men and women would understand how amazing and wonderful it is to be this way with each other.
I found lots of interesting information here. The post was professionally written and I feel like the author has extensive knowledge in this subject.
Dear Matt,
This was beautiful. I find that people, in general, don’t believe in courtesy, except/until they’re on the receiving end of unsolicited rudeness. Then, suddenly, they just can’t understand why someone would be so mean to them. We’re probably all guilty of this to a certain extent when we’re young just because self-absorption doesn’t usually lend itself to putting others first. But I think it’s a genuine shame when someone over the age of 25 still believes that courtesy is out-dated.
It would be truly wonderful to meet a man who not only wanted to make me feel safe but was willing to put in the effort it takes to do so — and was willing to put in that effort not because he thought he’d get something out of it but because he believed it was the right thing to do. I’ve never met a man like that but I’m sure there are a few out there. Maybe someone like you will help create men like that — you never know.
Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for putting this message out there and tell you that it’s truly appreciated. I hope you and your mom have a great Mother’s Day.
Best,
Shannon
But why for all women, why do not for people, why that’s all about gender. Okay I still believe I have right to have different opinion and against this chivalry concept.