The 5 Things We Can All Learn From Gatsby

We can all learn a thing or two from Gatsby.

If you’ve read the book or seen the film, you know that Gatsby threw crazy, opulent parties where hundreds of people poured through the doors.

Here are some of my big takeaways from the story…

1) Why throw parties

If you’re the person throwing the party, everyone knows you.

The person throwing a party is someone we call a ‘hub’.

You become everyone’s common point of conversation, you’re the favourite topic for people to talk about, and everyone gets to know you better through their discussion.

The great thing about being a ‘connector’ is that by putting people together, people want to reciprocate by helping you out and doing you favours. You become important in that way.

2) An alternative to becoming a ‘hub’

With that said, you don’t have to be the one throwing the party all of the time to develop a network.

What you do need however – if you’re not going to be the hub – is build a good relationship with a hub.

If you know the person throwing the party, you always have a way to go and meet people.

You can then use this person as a gateway to meeting more and more new people.

3) Have an emotional vision for life

One of the things we know about Gatsby is that through all of his achievement, he had an extremely emotional vision of where he was going.

I’m always coaching that if you want to get somewhere, you can’t be driven by logic.

Logic doesn’t last. Logic leads you to running on will-power and will-power never lasts.

You have to run on emotion. You have to find something that drives you on a visceral, gut level.

For Gatsby it was a woman. It was the ideal he had in his head – and of course that become an unhealthy ideal because it became unrealistic – but he had something driving him that was bigger than an amount of money or the size of a house. It was a VISION of his life with somebody.

We all have to find an emotional vision that’s going to drive us through the hard times.

4) Believe you’re destined for greatness

Gatsby believed that he was destined for greatness, even as a boy.

You have to believe on some level that you’re destined for great things. We all have to believe that we’re special in our own way.

–What makes YOU special?

5) Have a plan

Gatsby had a way of constantly improving himself and saw himself as his greatest asset.

(In the book) His dad found a journal with his daily diary.

Schedule Sept 12th 1906

Rise from bed – 6:00 AM
Dumbbell exercise and wall scaling – 6:15 – 6:30 AM
Study electricity etc. – 7:15 – 8:15 AM
Work – 8:30 – 4:30 PM
Basketball and sports – 4:30 – 5:00 PM
Practice elocution, poise and how to obtain it – 5:00 – 6:00 PM
Study needed inventions – 7:00 – 9:00 PM

General Resolves

–No wasting time at Shafters
–No more smoking or chewing
–Bathe every other day
–Read one improving book or magazine a week
–Save ($5.00 – crossed out) $3.00 a week
–Be better to parents

Have things that act as a compass for how you live.

If you’re thinking about this when you wake up, it’s already too late.

This has to done the night before so that when you wake up, you’re straight into action and you know exactly where you want to be.

Now Gatsby had his flaws. But I feel like we can all learn something, even from flawed men.

When we take his best parts and combine them with the learnings we see from a far, that’s when we’ll achieve our own form of greatness.

Question: What did you take away from The Great Gatsby? Let me know in the comments below!

189 Responses to The 5 Things We Can All Learn From Gatsby

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  1. Caroline says:

    You know that Gatsby despite all the parties ends up alone and friendless Matthew?

  2. Caroline says:

    ‘The best thing a woman can be in this world is a beautiful little fool.’ Tennessee Williams

  3. Sinead says:

    Hi Matthew!

    I’m a fan of your videos and mostly agree with the sentiments that you convey. In this case I can’t help but feel sorry for the hub! Know the hub… that sounds a bit like using another person for your own gain which is not a nice quality in my mind. Do you even need to like this hub person? I prefer a more genuine approach to how I interact with people.

  4. Aurora says:

    cute presentation <3

  5. twitter followers without following says:

    Hmm it appears like your site ate my first comment (it was
    super long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I had written
    and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I as well am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still
    new to the whole thing. Do you have any recommendations for inexperienced blog writers?
    I’d certainly appreciate it.

  6. Lakeville says:

    You really make it appear really easy together with your presentation however I to find this topic to be
    actually something that I feel I might never understand.
    It sort of feels too complicated and very huge for me.
    I’m taking a look ahead for your next post, I will
    try to get the hang of it!

  7. green app machine says:

    Excellent list. You may also want to add GasBuddy since gas prices tend for being more
    expensive in the summer.

  8. Petra says:

    Hello Matthew,
    The Great Gatsby knew about “The Secret”…!!! ;-)

  9. bad credit says:

    There’s definately a great deal to find out about this topic. I really like all of the points you’ve made.

  10. Rietta Heide says:

    Matthew you always inspire me. I am as I said before taking the bull by the horns. I am in the process working on my “meet & Greet” for singles. I’m working on finding me a Hub. This is ideal for me because I love a lot of attention.
    Great, awesome, superb! :)

  11. Carolina says:

    Te casarias conmigo?

  12. Annette says:

    Very Creative! I loved the video! Keep up the Great work!

    When I watched the film a few weeks ago I was talking to my girlfriend about what we can take out of this and we both came to the conclusion that every now and then we need to step back and re-evaluate our lives and how we can do things better.

    I gotta get the book now that I saw the movie!!

  13. Holly (the one that made everyone laugh) says:

    My comment seems to have disappeared from the site! :(
    Anyway what I took from The Great Gatsby was how to throw amazing parties!!

  14. Alexandra says:

    You are so funny Matthew…You have this little arrogance combined with a great sense of humor. I like it. Every video I learn something new from you and sometimes I think: This is so simple ! How come I did not think about it???. Well thank you for being here :) I hope to see you sometime in some seminar

  15. Ildiko says:

    I love the Gatsby take :) very creative. Great work Matthew, you’ve achieved so much and it is truly amazing.. but you know what, you deserve it! You worked hard for it but mainly because this is your passion and you are great at it!

    Although, one little comment if I may… I hope the LA way of life will not change you and you’ll stay the ‘good old’ not-so-glamourous-and-fake-but-true-heart-to-heart-and-sincere coach :) We, your UK (&European) followers just love you as you naturally are! :)

    Ildiko x

  16. N. H says:

    Thx for reminding me these things. I used to had a booklet like that to schedule my life, but then guys mocked me that I am having a list for everything and that I cross each option. So, I started to doubt it and even thought I am obsessed with the action of writing down my daily routines. Now I see it is not true. thx Matthew.
    XX( you have got 2 cheeks)

  17. Amanda says:

    Was that an American ‘R’ I heard? It was! Well done! I’m so glad we haven’t colored all of your ‘R’s stateside red, white, and blue. Two nations would have to declare a state of emergency… God save the Queen & Matthew’s British ‘R’s ;)

    The video, your message, and of course your accent are all fantastic! Very creative- I look forward to seeing what you come up with next ;)


  18. Monique says:

    I am following you for a while now, even attend an event in Brighton, when I had to travel special for this gathering. I have learned so much from you and this new way of addressing your inner greatness that need to be released of Gatsby is important as well. In one of your videos you mention your adventure in China, had encouraged me to learn dealing with new unknown frightening situations.
    Your strength and creativeness inspire us all. Women from all races.

  19. MW says:

    Just wanted to say that I think the idea of throwing parties/events is a good one. I’m not the most outgoing person, but I do enjoy throwing parties/hosting and being a connector, so my cousin and I are def going to take this lesson from Gatsby and apply it. Hopefully, something good comes of it.

  20. anna says:

    funny while playing Candy Crush your email arrives, stop briefly and very amazing to read.

    Seems I’m inlove with you Mathew your face is sooo cute.

    take care pls. kissss :P

  21. MJ says:

    Great video. Matthew – one thing I’ve noticed in trying out your techniques for flirting in daily life is that people in modern times hardly make eye contact anymore! It’s hard to catch someone’s eye when people hardly look at someone anymore. Any thoughts?

  22. Joanna says:

    LOL Matthew, I was taking a break from my study and I’m happy I decided to watch this video, the end is the best! You made me laugh! Well done. This video is sure one of the best videos of yours.

    Sendin’ xx Joanna. :)

  23. Maribella says:

    what if you are not so popular ?

  24. Manon says:

    On a very abstract level, the way this video was conducted portraits a Hussey version of Gatsby’s’ lack of touch with reality aka the “unreality of reality”. Wow Matt! This video was definitely not a lemon.
    I’ve got to say it is a refreshing and entertaining video in so many ways. lol The only bémol was the kitchen soap ;)) and you look dashing with this tie.

    P.S. I too use those magic sticky notes for my weekly “to do lists”:D

    • Manon says:

      btw, I love that little moment of emotion written on your face at 2:00, it showed that you too, are driven by a woman. Your mother primarily but perhaps also others… Body language can tell a lot but fortunately for us not everything :)

  25. Susanne Love says:

    ☀☆♥☆☀ Dear Matthew Hussey ☀☆♥☆☀

    Incredibly warm-hearted lovely wonderful charming handsome Matthew Hussey ♥&♥
    truly heart-touching videos & blog : Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove
    All veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery much :)
    Thank you veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery much for all the best :)

    All the best kisses :)


    • Susanne Love says:

      Loooooooooooooooooooooove Gatsby’s “Be better to parents”:

      When I was a little girl I gave my parents 10-20 goodnight kisses each night :)

      ♥&♥ still Loooooooooooooooooooooove goodnight kisses :)

  26. Nancy says:

    Thanks for sharing! Super useful and super clear!!!

  27. Jill says:

    So funny you posted this!! When I watched the film I was thinking what can I take away from this and my conclusion was that he was a little cray cray and sometimes we all get that way at which point we need to step back and re-evaluate our lives and how we can do things different/better. Loved the movie now I gotta get the book. Yes, I was that one person who didn’t have to read the book in school but I think I will appreciate better now:)

  28. Joanne says:

    Eugh! That’s your worst video ever … I was waiting for the authentic self-deprecating lovable Matthew to pop out from behind that silly cocktail glass. Seriously, is this what a tour of America does to a great guy? My toes are still curling Matthew, stop it right now. Think you may need a reality check from your brother…
    Maybe you need to de-tox from cheesy US style celebritydom. Otherwise, usually, love your stuff. Everyone has an ‘off’ moment. Who cares about the Great Gatsby, bring back the Great Matthew, and burn the jacket! Hugs.

    • Keira says:

      Lmao I laugh so hard and loud when I watch that video.

      I think you’re missing the point. He’s teaching you something and having fun! Guys r … Like I said … Cooler than girls! Lol

    • Cat says:

      That was hilarious. As an American, if we taught you to lighten up and have some fun then mission accomplished. It was light and cheeky and the message was just as effective. Bravo.

      • Leslie says:

        lol..yes you can tell Matthew just wanted to have some fun. He truly enjoys his job! All I could think is wow..he looks good in that outfit besides What can I take from this vid and the fact that it was water in a martini glass.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Joanne,

      Hopefully if you watch it again (which I’m pretty sure you won’t ever by the sounds of it lol) you’ll see that I was poking fun of myself in this video. My aim was purely to give some important lessons in a light hearted way. I apologise that it wasn’t outwardly self deprecating enough for you. I don’t want to be known as the person who does predictable things every time – sits in front of a camera, gives and message, and then says bye. I pride myself on being creative, thinking a little outside the box, and having fun.

      I think what’s interesting about life is that what you consider to be an ‘off moment’ for me, was what many other people considered to be one of my greatest videos in a long time. Some even thought it was my best. It’s an important lesson for us all in life, that while one person can be telling you you’re doing a bad job, you can actually be doing something that other people love, if you just have the courage to stay the course.

      Obviously it didn’t work for you on this particular vid Joanne, and that’s cool. But I think it’s important to remember something: In your life there will be risks you want to take, things you want to try, and spontaneous ways you want to have fun, and the greatest challenge will be trying to remain unaffected by the person who is waiting to tell you it’s ‘your worst video ever’ as soon as you try it. I hope that the next time you try something different you don’t have to face the wrath of someone telling you you need a reality check.

      Nonetheless, I can assure you I appreciate you taking the time to leave your thoughts. I look forward to making your toes uncurl (or not!) in the next video : )

      M x

  29. Stephanie says:

    Thanks for the great Gatsby video! I agree with (most) everyone else Matt, loved the yellow tie and white coat–very sexy. Perfect setting too. I love how you reference current movies–wondering what you would create with reference to Iron Man ;)

    I loved seeing Gatsby’s schedule. Your video moved me to get out of bed this morning and find the planner I bought months ago. When I opened my planner, I was amused; it only had one entry. It started out like this:
    Thursday May 9, 2013
    9:00 start yoga
    Matthew Hussey–sign up [for Get the Guy in Seattle]

    I got on this website for the 1st time the week before because I was impressed by your words (and wardrobe) on Ready for Love :) I was ecstatic to see you would be in Seattle soon. I’d been meaning to sign up and finally did that day. You put on a great event! Not only did I learn as I anticipated, but I also was happily surprised to be moved both literally and figuratively. I’m inspired by what you have accomplished, what you provide through your work, how you overdeliver and who you are. I was touched when you said that you’re motivated by what you want to provide your family (including your future family). My biggest problem is staying motivated week to week.

    So today I made a plan, which started out:
    Comment on GTG blog
    B’s BBQ

    I went to the BBQ specifically because of your advice & I’m happy I did. I met new friends and they have other friends they want me to meet. So, I just wanted to say thanks Matt, because of your work I had a great day and plan on having more :)

    Next, which is the best takeaway from Gatsby, I will make my plan for tomorrow.

    Stephanie or you could keep referring to me as ‘Lovely’ ;)

  30. Sarah Fujimoto says:

    Thanks for sharing your insight Matthew–and nice threads–looking sharp!

    For me what I learned after watching The Great Gatsby was two fold, one being inspired by the production and costume design and the use of color and texture in the movie…and secondly, thinking about Gatsby’s hope in life and how in his generosity he loved others…to not always gain it in return. This world as a whole may not always understand one’s choices and they may not return back to you fully what you give out—but in the end, if one lives a life of fullness of hope, love, joy, and vision for their life than regardless of return, those things are return enough for the person.

    That is what I was thinking through after I saw the film.

    Lastly, thank you very much for what you share, I have found your insight very helpful and it has been a part of different things I am learning right now and growing in about how I see myself, others, love, and relationships—
    so, THANK YOU AGAIN!!!!

  31. lori says:

    Love your videos! I already got the guy (married 11 yrs) but ready your blog, watching your videos, and reading your book has helped me improve our relationship. Your advice goes so much deeper than just how to get a guy but really how to live your life. You really make a difference…keep up the amazing work!

  32. Kristi says:

    Hey Hussy,
    Now THAT’s entertainment! lol -you’re awesome! ;-) (giggle)
    I think I speak for many of us when I say how wonderful it is that you share so many aspects of yourself with us. You not only give us great advice and support but I think even more endearing is the fact that you also share some of your hopes and aspirations along with your disappointments. This is very comforting as we share our vulnerabilities with you and makes us feel strangely connected to you as a coach. Even though you don’t know us, you make us feel we know you. It’s a gift, I think I can say, we all appreciate immensely.
    Thank you as always,
    PS-Looked like you where really enjoying the “role playing”-(wink-lol-had to bug, it’s what I do)
    PPS-Another thought, I think it’s time to lose the yellow tie and move beyond lemonade. You have a whole bar of drinks yet to create Hussey. Bring out the mixer and shake it up as only you can!
    (K, maybe it’s just me who isn’t a fan of the yellow tie??)

  33. Sara says:

    I was feeling kind of down today, and watching this video really helped me!!! Thank you, God bless.

  34. Keira says:

    I’m at a dead end here Matt and I don’t know what to do. :(

  35. Karen says:

    That was the best video you have done yet!!! Loved the martinis hilarious!!!!
    You always give sound advice in a creative way which keeps me intrigued to keep watching your videos.
    Next time I would wear a white French cut shirt would look so crisp & fresh with the yellow tie complimenting the white jacket. I love the waistcoat balances it all out – a simple silk pocket square & ring would have taken you to another level!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Karen!

      So glad you thought it was the best one. It took a lot of work to put together as you can imagine. Even the getting dressed took a while lol.


  36. Layla says:

    Haha, soo cute and witty! :)
    Matthew, I just want you to know that I’ve been following you since the very beginning and I’ve gotten to a point where I trust your advice more than I trust my own logic because it works every single time.
    Obviously, you don’t know me but your videos are so honest and personal that I feel like you’ve been my friend for a long time.
    I’ve been reading your book and I LOVE it. I am writing a novel myself ;). I am 21 and have written short stories before, but never something this long. Do you have any advice for me?


    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Layla,

      I’m honoured that you consider me a friend. I would love to meet you one day. I hope it’s soon!

      Let’s keep our friendship going : )


  37. Elle says:

    I really liked the book. I was always amazed that Gatsby amassed such wealth and influence because of his desire to win Daisy over. Finding my motivation through emotion rather than logic is something that I could defiantly work on.
    I also like the tip you give for being the alternative to the hub. I’m very sociable when I’m the one throwing the party and I know everyone there. When I go to someone’s party however where I don’t know many people, I leave as soon as I can without offending the host. That is of course if I go at all. I found the video entertaining and informative. I will try some of the tips you gave us. I promise.

    P.S. You looked very nice the suit.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks Elle!
      Yeh talking to the host is vital. They are the connectors and connectors will introduce you to SO many people. It’s the key to expanding your network quickly.
      M x

  38. Julia says:

    Hey! So, just read your book, love it. I had a life coach a few years ago that told me emotions are fleeting, and that you should make decisions based on hard logic. What do you think of that? Are there certain situations where you should use one or the other?

    p.s -You’re gorgeous. Did you ever get a date with that curly haired matchmaker on the show?

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      LOL Julia, no Tracy and I are just friends. We like to be silly together.

      Decisions should always be weighted with rational thinking, but once you’ve made a decision, logic won’t spur you on, emotion will.

      M x

  39. Jessica O says:

    What I took away from The Great Gatsby, is that you should live life to the fullest and with no regrets. That way you don’t spend your life wondering “what if…” Great video!

  40. Millie H says:

    Mr Hussey!

    I loved this video, especially the detail and obvious planning that went into making this film; you have a great camera guy and you looked very Jay Gatsby in that jacket.

    It was both informative and humorous. The martini glasses filled with water made me laugh.

    Amelia :)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Amelia!

      Great to see you commenting on the blog! So glad you noticed how much went into this video : ). I don’t aways get to plan them out this way but I wanted to really do this one justice.


      • Millie H says:


        Unfortunately, videography is something that I naturally pick up on, I was a production manager for a while and the habit has stuck with me. Your videos are always well framed. The shot variations added a sense of drama. You should definitely be proud of this one and hopefully, you’ll get to do more like this.


  41. Kamilla says:

    Splendid job Matt! :D You can really tell that you had so much fun making this video and you have come so far since when you begun with the coaching videos. This time you’re not only a coach, you’re an actor too! And a handsome as the likes of Brad Pitt and George Clooney, if I may say so!

    I really liked the the part about emotional vision. I think that’s what’s missing in my life. And starting to write a journal seams like a great idea.

    Thank you again (’cause this is not my first comment) for all the great advice and your creative and inspiring way of giving it to us!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      You’re very sweet Kamilla. Thankyou for your thoughts, and for commenting in the past. Glad you kee coming back : ) x

  42. ann says:

    hey Matthew,

    1- i’m 50 yr old but have followed you since your early days yrs ago on utube

    2- Love your dedication!

    3- Love the suave white James Bond suit on you !

    4- keep up the good work !

    5- us older women are your fans tooo! lol

  43. Ursulline says:

    Matthew, I loved watching this…you’re reminding me of the James Bond ideal you mention in your book as you suavely drink your…..water! Hahah!

    Anyway my favorite things you mentioned were: having an emotional vision/finding something that drives you and believing we’re destined for great things. I think this makes someone intrinsically attractive and I learned that from you. I’m finally doing this for myself and I have to say I’m starting to notice the results.

    I gush about you all the time to my friends and love listening to your audio book! I feel like we’re having a conversation! Haha! : )

    Take care, handsome…

    Santa Monica, CA

    • Matthew Hussey says:


      That’s the funny thing about an audiobook, you feel so much closer to the author. The good news is that right now we actually are having a conversation lol.

      You should get your friends to the blog, we’d love to have them commenting and part of the discussion too!

      Speak soon, M x

      • Ursulline says:

        Matt, you’re my little secret…I can’t give it away until I get the guy!

        …on my second run of our conversation! Talk to you soon! ;)

        P.S. since you’re here in LA I should get you to sign my book in person?


  44. Alexandra says:

    ADORABLE!!! This really made me have a great laugh while It reminded the key things we all need to do to in order to meet more people.

    Love your creativity Matt.

    Thanks for the lesson :)

  45. Edna Nita Garcia says:

    That was such a splendid video! Integrating something a lot of us know and love and relating it to real life! Fantastic job! Thanks so much for your amazing words of wisdom they help so much in not only dating and men but in LIFE! :) thank you!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      I was really hoping to hit home on different aspects of people’s lives with this video. Glad it did that for you.
      M x

  46. Ellie says:

    Wow, Mr. Hussey!

    Love this video. I’m absolutely huge on Gatsby. Read the novel so many times.
    You absolutely nailed the costume! You just brought together the Robert Redford one with the Leo/Baz Luhrmann one with what you’re wearing.
    Well I’m actually off to a party soon (not 1920s themed… but wouldn’t that be fun?!) so this is great, lovely.
    When Jay’s dad goes to his house and sees all that he’s achieved and…ahh, the novel is amazing! I like the idea of the diary, I have to say I do use it and I just love how it gives you that structure.
    So proud of you and we can’t wait to see you back in England… whenever you come back, haha.

    Ellie x

    PS your stubble looks great – keep it!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks Ellie! It’s crazy but I literally have all those separate pieces of the outfit in my normal wardrobe. I guess it’s one of the benefits of keeping all the clothes from a tv show.

      I love that moment where his dad comes to the house too! One of my favourites.

      Love to see you when I’m back in England!


      • Ellie says:

        No way – your normal wardrobe? Well in that case, you have excellent taste!
        Speaking of TV, I received some amazing news after I saw you – I must tell you when you get back. Aw, hope everything is going well for you in America.
        Yes! It’s just so poignant and it really puts things into perspective – such a beautiful moment. It’s one of my favourites too. The Great Gatsby has such a captivating storyline (not in the same way as ‘Indiana Jones’ or ‘Jurassic Park’ but it’s most definitely in my top 10!)
        Definitely, lovely! It would be great to see you & catch up.
        E. x

  47. Klara K. says:

    You look swell but where is your flat summer hat? ;)

  48. Kathryn says:

    Thank you for the video, it was definitely your most insightful one yet. I love how you spoke from the heart to deliver the best messages from Gatsby. We are all getting older and hopefully wiser, and with your help make the best of our lives. That’s where love is wonderful, when it is right it helps the vision come alive.
    Thank you for spending the time and emotion to make that message. Xx

  49. Erin says:

    Loving your creativity here Matt! You definitely should have rocked the white blazer in Seattle last weekend ;)

    Was amazing to meet you at your seminar, albeit briefly (sorry I stepped on your foot!!), and see your passion for helping all of “us” first hand. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your insight and wisdom. Your words have given me a renewed sense of energy for not only creating more in my dating pursuits, but life in general. It was a kick in the pants I needed!!!! Thinking about applying to the Palm Springs retreat to help me continue down this positive road. What better way to spend a birthday right? :)

    Thank you again – and enjoy the LA sunshine!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      haha, I thought it might be a little TOO dressy for the seminar, but maybe next time.

      Would LOVE to see you in Palm Springs. You should apply!


  50. A says:

    Uncle Matty so funny. Was that water in the glass? Anyway, you look so dapper in this video. I think you’re a little upset that you didn’t get the role as Gatsby in the new movie. Lol. J/k! Love the video!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Yes it was water, I had to keep my brain at full power for this video lol. I think they made a good choice for Gatsby, I don’t know what my acting abilities are like but they certainly aren’t at that level : ).

      M x

  51. Juju says:


    If there is one thing I learned from your advice is how to be a high valued woman and be feminine. But still you ALWAYS manage to surprise me with your emails and videos. Thanks for that, big time!

    Talking about parties and hosting, and all the party etiquette involved in it… I took a guy (ok not “A” guy… he was “THE” guy) on a 3 day amazing wedding party in a historical hacienda in Mexico in Feb/2013. Besides the room expenses that we splitted, all other expenses: attractions, dinners, sightseeing etc were provided by my friend (the bride) and the groom. And… I really expected the guy a little simple “THANK YOU” in the end.

    We all learn as women, how to be nice, and polite and sweet and to appreciate what guys provide us, but I notice that I don’t see the same from them.

    Can you comment on that?

    Your British politeness is a high value, for sure.


    Juju from Brazil (in the Bahamas)

    • Juju says:

      PS: the guy was Scottish :)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      I think if a guy doesn’t show the right appreciation, it’s a warning flag up front. Politeness is something all humans should have to some extent, and it should DEF be a standard for the guys you spend time with.


      • Juju says:

        Tks for the reply. You must be overwhelmed after so many posts! You are correct…I politely moved ahead to the next guy, who is waaay nicer and high value by the way.

        If you want more work (probably a Brazil tour): you should definitely try Sao Paulo, Rio, Curitiba, Salvador and Belo Horizonte. You could also try Belem do Para (around 7 women for every man >> they will certainly appreciate your visit, hehe).
        And in case you need a break from work, will be great to see you in Nassau, Bahamas. :)

        Your video is awesome…I noticed it was water…but your facial expression after the second glass was fantastic. We would love to see you one day on a big screen.


  52. Olive says:

    You know, I’ve always been very skeptical with self-help, but for a few months I’ve been watching your videos (including the Man Myth) and though I’m still too shy to talk to strange men (people don’t believe I’m shy but I am, at least around people I’m attracted to), at least I’ve smiled to some, not enough to be considered flirtatious, but I’m trying.
    On the other hand, you’ve planted a real seed in me to value myself. I’ve gone back to pleasures I’d neglected for so many years such as reading compulsivley, learning music,going to concerts, excercising (not so much to be THIN but to ENJOY my body), cooking, LEARNING about EVERYHING. And I’ve stopped binge-drinking to feel confortable in social situations, I just relax. I don’t need to impress anyone, really. I feel excited with life as I haven’t in years.
    Well, I might not have found someone YET, but I definitely am learning to enjoy my own company, and I believe when I do find someone I really like, well, he will be a very lucky person.
    Thanks, Matt. You’re the real thing.
    (Excuse my grammar, I’m brazilian, hehehe).


    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Awwww, thank you Olive! I always love when a skeptic is a fan of my work. It really shows it has value and can change lives, no matter who somebody is. Thank you for your love and support.


  53. Sydney says:

    I am pretty sure you must be the Great Gatsby! Being someone who read the book and watched the movie, The Great Gatsby has earned a soft spot within my heart and you happen to be there too! And I can bet if he met you he would be better off. What would you tell him if you were at one of his parties lest say?

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      I’d say enjoy the parties, but don’t rely on them to get you the girl! You’re enough without them.

      : ) x

  54. Patricia says:

    Hey Matt!

    Firstly, you look great! Secondly, you’re a great actor!! :)

    Just want to take the opportunity to say I really appreciate all the things you say and all the hard work and effort you put into it. I’m glad to get to know your work and to receive all the encouraging videos and messages from you.

    It would be awesome to meet you in person!

    Coming to Brazi anytime soon??? Lol

    Have a lovely day. xoxo

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Wow Brazil is really representing in the comments of this blog!

      Thanks for your wonderful appreciation Patricia. I’d love to come to Brazil. Which city do you think would be a good starting point for the biggest audience?

      M x

      • Patricia says:

        Well definitely São Paulo would be the perfect starting point. Then Rio of course. There are other major cities as well, but São Paulo for sure. :)

  55. Rebecca Keddell says:

    Love the video Matthew! Your candor and honest approach (mixed with humor and wit) to offering insight on how to improve ourselves and know our worth is much appreciated!!! I especially love that you have using our emotion as a tool to finding success. It is great to hear someone acknowledge that as a strength rather than a weakness. I have always felt that most people view it as something to avoid and been made to feel guilty for being an individual who utilizes emotion to drive me…constructively I hope anyway!

    Thank you are again! I think you are pretty nifty and wish you just as much happiness and success in your own endeavors!


    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks Rebecca! Emotion is EVERYTHING when it comes to drive. It’s the only sustainable source of energy over time. Without it we will burn out long before our bodies do.


  56. Regitze says:

    Always enjoy watching your videos Matt. First of all you always look great, and second of all you are one of the most inspiring people I’ve ever listened to. I always want to go out and conquer the world after watching.
    And thank you for giving me somebody to have in mind when socialising, you are great.

    I Also believe The Great Hussey could catch on :)

    PS. I love The Great Gatsby, and have both read and seen it, so for you to make this video was incredible. Very much enjoyed your creativity, points and style.
    *Sending my appreciation from Denmark* haha.

  57. Elsa says:

    I love how you pop up everyday even in places I thought I wouldn’t find you in.
    I found you a couple years ago on youtube and from then I followed your work and you always blow my mind with your ideas and perception of the world. I still remember the first thing I heard from you that made me open my eyes “you have to be your own best friend”. such a simple concept, but I understood that it was not some old cliché by the way you spoke about it.
    I can’t tell you how glad I am to have you as a teacher and I wish you all the best :)
    you really are an awesome person.

    • Matthew Hussey says:


      It’s so touching to hear you’ve been following for so long. I hope you continue to follow for years to come, because I will keep bringing you everything I can to move you forward in your life.


  58. Lisa says:

    Hey Matt!

    Great correlation! It’s amazing to see something with true substance (TGG) that is perfectly timeless.
    Are you in sunny LA? I’ve lived in LA my whole life and have gripes about the dating culture here. We are so tethered to our cars, we never experience life outside of it. It’s difficult to meet people here.

    Anyway…keep up the inspiring work. :)


    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Lisa,

      Yes I’m in LA right now. The car thing is tough, but it makes it that much more important that we get out there to social occasions as often as possible. It makes it harder in that respect than walking cities, but it’s still possible.


  59. anna says:

    Great video. White suit suits you haha :}

  60. Val says:

    I loved the info…but what I especially loved was that you color coordinated with your surroundings. From the yellows of the lemons and flowers to the gray house to the white interior! Well done on all accounts :)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      haha thanks Val, I can’t take too much credit for that, but it looks great in retrospect. x

  61. Michelle says:

    This was awesome!

  62. Jitsupa says:

    Hi Matthew,

    I have always been following you, but never really comment on anything.
    This video is the best, and I think I should leave you a comment :)
    I love the way that you are not just coaching for love, but you are coaching for life, and how to improve living.
    Please keep doing this :)


    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Aw, thankyou so much for taking the time to comment Jitsupa. It means a lot that it’s not your natural inclination to do so and you did anyway.

      I hope to keep bringing you content that makes you feel this way.


  63. Katya says:

    Hahaha the entourage and that dish washing liquid in the kitchen! Cheers :)))

  64. adriana says:

    You are adorable, and the suit looks great Matthew. :)

  65. Marcelle says:

    The thing that intrigued me was what did Daisy have that she had 3 men completely drawn to her (her cousin, her husband and her ex)?

    Maybe Daisy wasn’t the most gorgeous women in the world, but she had some kind of magnetic thing (call it confidence, call it grace, label it as flirtatiously sultry) that kept these men coming back and wanting to be in her presence.

    When Daisy dated Gatsby she couldn’t care less about how much he earned or his social status, Daisy loved him unconditionally. But Gatsby would always feel inferior until he made something of himself, thus he broke her heart and rightly so Daisy moved on. But the past cannot be repeated contrary to what Gatsby said. Daisy was a woman, a mother and although she wanted to dip her feet back into the past for a little while and maybe get back at her cheating husband, Daisy would probably still run back to her husband as Gatsby would always feel inferior somehow.

    Going back to what Daisy had that caused all these men to be so enamored by her… Would you fall for a Daisy, Matthew?

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      I think both Daisy and Gatsby has their flaws. The problem with Gatsby is that he didn’t see Daisy’s flaws. He had made her perfect, and she was far from it.

      Daisy isn’t my type personally, but I think what’s attractive about her is her femininity, spontaneous attitude, but her desire to be protected too. She doesn’t come across as having quite enough substance for me however.

      Thanks for commenting! x

  66. Amina says:

    I love your brand! You are super smart, witty, attractive and well spoken!
    I loved your comment about the emotional vision. I’m a very ‘feeling’ emotional person and yet I am a little blocked around my next emotional vision for my next step in my career as well as a man. How can I get an emotional vision for my career and love life?


    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Amina,


      It starts by thinking about what drives you on a core level. What little things excite you in life (or piss you off – that can be a helpful indicator of your best direction too). Then you can use these as cues about where to go, and where to put your energy.

      It’s a big topic. On my 5 day retreat programme we literally spend the entire first day figuring this stuff out by identifying WHO you are at your core, and building out from there. Once you know it it serves you foerver.


  67. Gabrielle Carolina says:

    Oh, Matthew, you need a Daisy in your life. And preferably one that can see your greatness before you become The Great Hussey… You know, that could really catch on. ; )

    We (Americans) read so much British literature in school and at Uni, I was wondering if you Brits dive into American literature during studies, or if reading TGG was a personal choice?

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Gabrielle!

      In this case it was a personal choice. But we do read some American literature. I remember reading Catch-22 and Of Mice and Men in school. I loved both.


  68. esther says:

    We stay ready so we don’t need to get ready -Terry Claybon

  69. Madelaine Graves says:

    I simply love all of your advice. You are full of wisdom and I love reading about all the women you are helping. You are an incredible man and I pray that God blesses you for all you are doing with your life. I love the way you look at life with a positive outlook. It is inspiring! If you ever make your way to Utah I will be there. I would love to meet you in person. Thank you Matt!

  70. Liz says:

    And don’t forget the big “don’t” lesson we learn from Gatsby – crazy elaborate schemes to get your ex back are just a recipe for disaster! If a relationship hasn’t worked out, let go and put your attention back on your own life where it belongs rather than obsessing over your ex… (though I felt bad for Gatsby, heaven knows we’ve all been there!)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      I think Gatsby’s greatest flaw was his desperation for something that didn’t really existed. He has idealised her and in doing so tried to validate himself with all these external things. I admire his drive, it was just misplaced.

      M x

  71. Larisa says:

    Are you ever going to come to Chicago? I would be interested to go to one of your live events. Big fan!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      I was in Chicago at the start of this month on the GetTheGuy tour!

      We don’t have another tour scheduled right now, but I’ll let you know if it happens!


  72. Sandi M says:

    We can learn a great deal from our flaws,
    our mistakes or failures.

    Thanks for being here for us Matt. We do
    appreciate you so much. Big hugs!

  73. Janna says:

    I am just astounded by your intelligence. These are exactly the takeaways I took from the film/book (although Ill admit I thought you were going to comment on DiCaprio’s good looks and Mulligans sweetness) . Thank you for the clarity and new thoughts on such a masterful piece of work.

    So hoping you are coming up to Calgary on a tour soon.

    PS Ive watched a couple of your videos now and I love the humour youre leaning towards! I want to shoot your vids for you

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks Janna!

      As I’m evolving and getting a little older/wiser I’m starting to enjoy playing around with these a little bit. I want people to get to know who I actually am, not some polished version that is reserved for the public eye!


  74. Teresa says:

    Haha this was hilarious! But also inspiring (as always!) I’ve been directing all my friends to you Matthew, and have been glued to Ready for Love! You’re awesome :)

  75. Christina says:

    Can we get a tour of the rest of your house? lol ^^

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      haha maybe at some point Christina. It’s very modest, so there isn’t ALOT more for you to see : )


      • Christina says:

        I’m new to your blog after your visit to Seattle and I just finished your book. I don’t know how many times I held my head thinking, “Ugg, this man is right! Where have you been most of my life?!” Eager to hear more of your advice.

  76. Kim G says:

    Great advice, Matthew! You certainly make me think.

    I’ve always believed the most important thing for anyone to have is confidence in themselves. Everyone has something unique and special about them.

    If you don’t believe in yourself, how can you expect someone else to?

    Also, don’t let others define you.

  77. amelie says:

    awww you are so cute matt ♥

    have read the book on kindle “what men really want” she underlines how important it is to compliment a man: so here you are matt: if i hadn’t done your online programme my love life wouldn’t have been that amazing, like it is now because of you. i even changed myself from a tough girl who can do everything on their own into a feminine girl who need her man to help her and to teach her things from time to time. And all I wanna say is that I know feel more like really being a woman, like the type of woman that I am meant to be, like every woman is meant to be. It feels like I have reached my origin back, although I didn’t know that I lost it! And it feels sooo good!! And thats all because of you. You must be lead by God Matt! You combine truth, honesty, love and kindness in one!! You are amazingly awesome!! I love you ♥

    Thank you for everything!! Hope I can meet you live someday!!!

    Love from Germany, amelie xx

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      WOW. Thankyou so so much Amelie. That’s so beautiful for you to take the time to tell me that.

      I too hope we can meet in person. Keep up to date with our calendar of events, and find the best one for you. I would love to see you at one of my seminars soon so I can give you a big hug! x

  78. Rio says:

    Brilliant as always, Mr Hussey! I love that styling too but your insights are the most important part. One question, what if you have been driven by an emotional vision and then find that it is no longer inspiring but rather making you stressed and unhappy? I’m not sure if it’s the gap between the reality and the dream, or just that the dream is not really fitting anymore… I have just decided to let it go and see if I can either create a new vision or strip back to the essentials and find the inspiration again from the old one.
    There was a nice comment on twitter from a guy who said “never confuse love and success”, which I think is brilliant – we can get caught up in trying to capture that vision in all its grandeur, when perhaps what we really desire is something far more simple… those are my rambling thoughts for the day, thanks and cheers!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Rio

      When a vision becomes depressing it’s usually because we’ve lost any sense of it becoming a reality. So it just becomes something we can’t have.

      Take the part of the vision you are excited about, and scale it down to a size that you can see as possible for you in the next 6 months. It will inspire you to take action again.

      We don’t need big things to happen to be inspired, we need progress. That is all.

      Thanks for commenting.


      • Rio says:

        Hey Matt,
        Thanks for the reply, you are so spot on in this – that stripping back to re-find the essence and bring back the joy is exactly what I am doing! luckily I have two months in the french pyrenees to achieve clarity, before getting back out into the melee. I really appreciate how much of yourself you reveal, and sharing the tough parts of your own journey is making a big difference to me in terms of finding my own way and being able to let myself be vulnerable -in public and private. Thanks again for all your fantastic work, you are truly a gem amongst men! xo

  79. Claire says:

    New to the site but loving the videos, defiantly can learn a lot from them, just watching whilst having a martini myself and hoping they can help an old 40 year old out!! Lol x

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Welcome Claire!

      We are happy to have you here! We have such an amazing, positive group of women here (which you’ll see by the comments). I’m sure you’ll find lots here that can help move you forward.

      Enjoy your martini ; )

      Matthew x

  80. Sandy says:

    Very Creative! Loved it! Keep up the Great work! It’s been awesome so far.. Not only learning a Lot about love and guys, but seeing your career evolve is very interesting and fulfilling in a Way as well! :)

    Last Night for the First Time I was REALLY aware of your Videos and techniques and Thanks to you could really easily Tell my Friend was into me! Proximity is definitely Key ;) Thanks a Lot! Love you and your work!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      That’s so great Sandy! Happy to see you are making progress in your own life.

      I will always help in whatever way I can. Feel privileged to have you as a supporter on my journey. I’m there for yours too.


  81. Irene says:

    thanks! great video!
    I watched the movie and it made me stop compromising and waiting based on other people promises. I am now changing this in my life.

  82. Rumors says:

    OMG, so much style in the last photo, LOL. Now, please, sing and dance “The Girl FROM Ipanema” with that face.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks for coming back Rumors.

      Had I known this was a request beforehand I would have made it happen.

      M x

      • Rumors says:

        Well, now you can use this feedback for your next video :D

        Thanks to you to keep updating this blog.

  83. Silvia says:

    Hey, we can all learn a thing or two from you!!!

  84. Kimberly says:

    It would have been even more awesome had the camera pulled away and you weren’t wearing pants. That would have been quite hilarious.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      The beauty of hindsight Kimberly. I knew I’d missed something in this video.


      • Gabrielle Carolina says:

        I was thinking the exact same thing. My other thought was perhaps bright green trousers since that was the only bit of the landscape you didn’t match, Matt.

      • Rivka says:

        She must have watched Hussey Uncut last month!

        • Rivka says:

          P.S. That comment I just made might sound weird to anyone who didn’t themselves watch Hussey Uncut and who might not realize I’m just referencing a story you told!!!

  85. Caitlin Bronzan says:

    This video helped so much!! I was in the crowd behind you when you got interviewed for Extra in New York and just from that I have learned so much from you!! I also love Ready For Love! You’re amazing!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks Caitlin! So great to hear from you. I LOVE that you’re now following the blog after being there in that interview.

      Got some great stuff coming for you in the next couple of months.

      Speak soon

      M x

  86. Linni says:

    The jacket was more Miami Vice than Gatsby. :P x

  87. Helle Justesen says:

    I love the great Gatsby, read it as a kid and just loved his drive and determination. I used as an emotional botton even before I knew such existed.

    Looking handsome there Matt.



  88. Francesca says:

    I’m exhausted just reading this.

  89. Clara says:

    Looked like you had fun doing this! Good advice as always; best get to work on improving my plan. Love your high hair quiffy thing going on ;)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Clara,

      I DID have fun doing this. If you can’t mix things up once in a while then what’s the point?! More and more I’m looking to get creative, silly, spontaneous in the ways I present the information to you. All the same things I ask you to do in your love life ; )


  90. Erin says:

    Was that a lemon tree?! Sunshine, yellow tie, yellow things on a tree, yellow flowers…great color scheme! The info was good too of course :)

  91. Anna says:

    So funny !!! Great tips btw!

  92. zahra says:

    yea that’s right, i think im special because i dance for example and i have this energy!! but then a guy comes and tells me haha what’s special about u? what do u have that others don’t?!! he drives me crazyyy!! and this challenges me a lot btw! Mathew you really inspire and i am always needing your advices!!thank youu

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Glad to be inspiring you Zahra.

      You have to know what makes you special first. Don’t allow someone else to dictate it. And remember, not everyone will see what’s special in you (in fact most won’t, or won’t want to), but that’s ok too. That’s what separates the people you should be around from the people you don’t need to be around. Those people that think you are special become friends, lovers and amazing contacts. Everyone else just doesn’t ‘get it’, and that’s cool ; )

      M x

    • Rivka says:

      You are intrinsically special just because you exist, you have your own existence and there is only one of you. Your dancing and energy are just ways you manifest how special you are.

      If you were in an accident and no longer to dance, you would still be special, but you would need a new way to manifest it.

  93. Jacqueline Opoku says:

    I love your video :). Sending you some love from Toronto.

  94. Nofyah says:

    Great reminder. Great video.

    Thanks, again!

    One of my favorite all-time books, too.

    PS. You have a terrific sense of style.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks Nofyah.

      I’m a big fan of the book too.

      Thanks for coming back regularly to the blog. Loving that you’re here each time.

      Matthew x

  95. Rachel says:

    I don’t know how you didn’t do the beginning (with the drinking the cocktail) and the sigh at the end, I would’ve killed myself laughing! :-)

  96. Thirza says:

    Thanks Matthew your advice coming just the right moment when i was feeling sad and stressed about things. i was just cleaning our house i always do when i feel that way. i think om not over that my grandpa is passed away on februari 11 2012.
    i know i’ts a year ago but when it was happend i was only 14 years old now i’m 15. and i still miss him everyday :(

    But Thanks For everything your website Your New tv show Ready for love i just love it :)
    Thanks you make my day a little bit better.

    Greetz from the Netherlands.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Thirza,

      I’m sorry to hear about your grandfathers passing. We all experience losing people we love, and though that doesn’t make it easier on you, I can assure you we know your pain. It gets easier, I promise.

      Always here for you

      Matthew x

      • Thirza says:

        Thanks so Much for commething :) i know it’s gets easier but it depends On the day when i think about my grandpa. I really appreciate That you tool your time to answer Thanks So Much <3

        Lovely greetz From the Netherlands.

  97. Keira says:

    Lol Love ya!!

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