We can all learn a thing or two from Gatsby.
If you’ve read the book or seen the film, you know that Gatsby threw crazy, opulent parties where hundreds of people poured through the doors.
Here are some of my big takeaways from the story…
1) Why throw parties
If you’re the person throwing the party, everyone knows you.
The person throwing a party is someone we call a ‘hub’.
You become everyone’s common point of conversation, you’re the favourite topic for people to talk about, and everyone gets to know you better through their discussion.
The great thing about being a ‘connector’ is that by putting people together, people want to reciprocate by helping you out and doing you favours. You become important in that way.
2) An alternative to becoming a ‘hub’
With that said, you don’t have to be the one throwing the party all of the time to develop a network.
What you do need however – if you’re not going to be the hub – is build a good relationship with a hub.
If you know the person throwing the party, you always have a way to go and meet people.
You can then use this person as a gateway to meeting more and more new people.
3) Have an emotional vision for life
One of the things we know about Gatsby is that through all of his achievement, he had an extremely emotional vision of where he was going.
I’m always coaching that if you want to get somewhere, you can’t be driven by logic.
Logic doesn’t last. Logic leads you to running on will-power and will-power never lasts.
You have to run on emotion. You have to find something that drives you on a visceral, gut level.
For Gatsby it was a woman. It was the ideal he had in his head – and of course that become an unhealthy ideal because it became unrealistic – but he had something driving him that was bigger than an amount of money or the size of a house. It was a VISION of his life with somebody.
We all have to find an emotional vision that’s going to drive us through the hard times.
4) Believe you’re destined for greatness
Gatsby believed that he was destined for greatness, even as a boy.
You have to believe on some level that you’re destined for great things. We all have to believe that we’re special in our own way.
–What makes YOU special?
5) Have a plan
Gatsby had a way of constantly improving himself and saw himself as his greatest asset.
(In the book) His dad found a journal with his daily diary.
Schedule Sept 12th 1906
Rise from bed – 6:00 AM
Dumbbell exercise and wall scaling – 6:15 – 6:30 AM
Study electricity etc. – 7:15 – 8:15 AM
Work – 8:30 – 4:30 PM
Basketball and sports – 4:30 – 5:00 PM
Practice elocution, poise and how to obtain it – 5:00 – 6:00 PM
Study needed inventions – 7:00 – 9:00 PM
General Resolves
–No wasting time at Shafters
–No more smoking or chewing
–Bathe every other day
–Read one improving book or magazine a week
–Save ($5.00 – crossed out) $3.00 a week
–Be better to parents
Have things that act as a compass for how you live.
If you’re thinking about this when you wake up, it’s already too late.
This has to done the night before so that when you wake up, you’re straight into action and you know exactly where you want to be.
Now Gatsby had his flaws. But I feel like we can all learn something, even from flawed men.
When we take his best parts and combine them with the learnings we see from a far, that’s when we’ll achieve our own form of greatness.
Question: What did you take away from The Great Gatsby? Let me know in the comments below!
I love how you pop up everyday even in places I thought I wouldn’t find you in.
I found you a couple years ago on youtube and from then I followed your work and you always blow my mind with your ideas and perception of the world. I still remember the first thing I heard from you that made me open my eyes “you have to be your own best friend”. such a simple concept, but I understood that it was not some old cliché by the way you spoke about it.
I can’t tell you how glad I am to have you as a teacher and I wish you all the best :)
you really are an awesome person.
Elsa,
It’s so touching to hear you’ve been following for so long. I hope you continue to follow for years to come, because I will keep bringing you everything I can to move you forward in your life.
x
Always enjoy watching your videos Matt. First of all you always look great, and second of all you are one of the most inspiring people I’ve ever listened to. I always want to go out and conquer the world after watching.
And thank you for giving me somebody to have in mind when socialising, you are great.
I Also believe The Great Hussey could catch on :)
PS. I love The Great Gatsby, and have both read and seen it, so for you to make this video was incredible. Very much enjoyed your creativity, points and style.
*Sending my appreciation from Denmark* haha.
Thanks Regitz, great to have a fan in Denmark spreading the word! x
Love the video Matthew! Your candor and honest approach (mixed with humor and wit) to offering insight on how to improve ourselves and know our worth is much appreciated!!! I especially love that you have using our emotion as a tool to finding success. It is great to hear someone acknowledge that as a strength rather than a weakness. I have always felt that most people view it as something to avoid and been made to feel guilty for being an individual who utilizes emotion to drive me…constructively I hope anyway!
Thank you are again! I think you are pretty nifty and wish you just as much happiness and success in your own endeavors!
Rebecca
Thanks Rebecca! Emotion is EVERYTHING when it comes to drive. It’s the only sustainable source of energy over time. Without it we will burn out long before our bodies do.
x
Hey Matt!
Firstly, you look great! Secondly, you’re a great actor!! :)
Just want to take the opportunity to say I really appreciate all the things you say and all the hard work and effort you put into it. I’m glad to get to know your work and to receive all the encouraging videos and messages from you.
It would be awesome to meet you in person!
Coming to Brazi anytime soon??? Lol
Have a lovely day. xoxo
Wow Brazil is really representing in the comments of this blog!
Thanks for your wonderful appreciation Patricia. I’d love to come to Brazil. Which city do you think would be a good starting point for the biggest audience?
M x
Well definitely São Paulo would be the perfect starting point. Then Rio of course. There are other major cities as well, but São Paulo for sure. :)
I am pretty sure you must be the Great Gatsby! Being someone who read the book and watched the movie, The Great Gatsby has earned a soft spot within my heart and you happen to be there too! And I can bet if he met you he would be better off. What would you tell him if you were at one of his parties lest say?
I’d say enjoy the parties, but don’t rely on them to get you the girl! You’re enough without them.
: ) x
You know, I’ve always been very skeptical with self-help, but for a few months I’ve been watching your videos (including the Man Myth) and though I’m still too shy to talk to strange men (people don’t believe I’m shy but I am, at least around people I’m attracted to), at least I’ve smiled to some, not enough to be considered flirtatious, but I’m trying.
On the other hand, you’ve planted a real seed in me to value myself. I’ve gone back to pleasures I’d neglected for so many years such as reading compulsivley, learning music,going to concerts, excercising (not so much to be THIN but to ENJOY my body), cooking, LEARNING about EVERYHING. And I’ve stopped binge-drinking to feel confortable in social situations, I just relax. I don’t need to impress anyone, really. I feel excited with life as I haven’t in years.
Well, I might not have found someone YET, but I definitely am learning to enjoy my own company, and I believe when I do find someone I really like, well, he will be a very lucky person.
Thanks, Matt. You’re the real thing.
(Excuse my grammar, I’m brazilian, hehehe).
Beijo!
Awwww, thank you Olive! I always love when a skeptic is a fan of my work. It really shows it has value and can change lives, no matter who somebody is. Thank you for your love and support.
x
Matthew,
If there is one thing I learned from your advice is how to be a high valued woman and be feminine. But still you ALWAYS manage to surprise me with your emails and videos. Thanks for that, big time!
Talking about parties and hosting, and all the party etiquette involved in it… I took a guy (ok not “A” guy… he was “THE” guy) on a 3 day amazing wedding party in a historical hacienda in Mexico in Feb/2013. Besides the room expenses that we splitted, all other expenses: attractions, dinners, sightseeing etc were provided by my friend (the bride) and the groom. And… I really expected the guy a little simple “THANK YOU” in the end.
We all learn as women, how to be nice, and polite and sweet and to appreciate what guys provide us, but I notice that I don’t see the same from them.
Can you comment on that?
Your British politeness is a high value, for sure.
Cheers,
Juju from Brazil (in the Bahamas)
PS: the guy was Scottish :)
I think if a guy doesn’t show the right appreciation, it’s a warning flag up front. Politeness is something all humans should have to some extent, and it should DEF be a standard for the guys you spend time with.
x
Tks for the reply. You must be overwhelmed after so many posts! You are correct…I politely moved ahead to the next guy, who is waaay nicer and high value by the way.
If you want more work (probably a Brazil tour): you should definitely try Sao Paulo, Rio, Curitiba, Salvador and Belo Horizonte. You could also try Belem do Para (around 7 women for every man >> they will certainly appreciate your visit, hehe).
And in case you need a break from work, will be great to see you in Nassau, Bahamas. :)
Your video is awesome…I noticed it was water…but your facial expression after the second glass was fantastic. We would love to see you one day on a big screen.
Rgds!
Uncle Matty so funny. Was that water in the glass? Anyway, you look so dapper in this video. I think you’re a little upset that you didn’t get the role as Gatsby in the new movie. Lol. J/k! Love the video!
Yes it was water, I had to keep my brain at full power for this video lol. I think they made a good choice for Gatsby, I don’t know what my acting abilities are like but they certainly aren’t at that level : ).
M x
Loving your creativity here Matt! You definitely should have rocked the white blazer in Seattle last weekend ;)
Was amazing to meet you at your seminar, albeit briefly (sorry I stepped on your foot!!), and see your passion for helping all of “us” first hand. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your insight and wisdom. Your words have given me a renewed sense of energy for not only creating more in my dating pursuits, but life in general. It was a kick in the pants I needed!!!! Thinking about applying to the Palm Springs retreat to help me continue down this positive road. What better way to spend a birthday right? :)
Thank you again – and enjoy the LA sunshine!
haha, I thought it might be a little TOO dressy for the seminar, but maybe next time.
Would LOVE to see you in Palm Springs. You should apply!
x
Thank you for the video, it was definitely your most insightful one yet. I love how you spoke from the heart to deliver the best messages from Gatsby. We are all getting older and hopefully wiser, and with your help make the best of our lives. That’s where love is wonderful, when it is right it helps the vision come alive.
Thank you for spending the time and emotion to make that message. Xx
My pleasure, it makes my day that you appreciate the effort that went into it.
x
You look swell but where is your flat summer hat? ;)
Next time ; ) x
Wow, Mr. Hussey!
Love this video. I’m absolutely huge on Gatsby. Read the novel so many times.
You absolutely nailed the costume! You just brought together the Robert Redford one with the Leo/Baz Luhrmann one with what you’re wearing.
Well I’m actually off to a party soon (not 1920s themed… but wouldn’t that be fun?!) so this is great, lovely.
When Jay’s dad goes to his house and sees all that he’s achieved and…ahh, the novel is amazing! I like the idea of the diary, I have to say I do use it and I just love how it gives you that structure.
So proud of you and we can’t wait to see you back in England… whenever you come back, haha.
Ellie x
PS your stubble looks great – keep it!
Thanks Ellie! It’s crazy but I literally have all those separate pieces of the outfit in my normal wardrobe. I guess it’s one of the benefits of keeping all the clothes from a tv show.
I love that moment where his dad comes to the house too! One of my favourites.
Love to see you when I’m back in England!
x
No way – your normal wardrobe? Well in that case, you have excellent taste!
Speaking of TV, I received some amazing news after I saw you – I must tell you when you get back. Aw, hope everything is going well for you in America.
Yes! It’s just so poignant and it really puts things into perspective – such a beautiful moment. It’s one of my favourites too. The Great Gatsby has such a captivating storyline (not in the same way as ‘Indiana Jones’ or ‘Jurassic Park’ but it’s most definitely in my top 10!)
Definitely, lovely! It would be great to see you & catch up.
E. x
That was such a splendid video! Integrating something a lot of us know and love and relating it to real life! Fantastic job! Thanks so much for your amazing words of wisdom they help so much in not only dating and men but in LIFE! :) thank you!
Edna,
I was really hoping to hit home on different aspects of people’s lives with this video. Glad it did that for you.
M x
ADORABLE!!! This really made me have a great laugh while It reminded the key things we all need to do to in order to meet more people.
Love your creativity Matt.
Thanks for the lesson :)
Thanks Alexandra, glad I could bring a smile to your day x
Matthew, I loved watching this…you’re reminding me of the James Bond ideal you mention in your book as you suavely drink your…..water! Hahah!
Anyway my favorite things you mentioned were: having an emotional vision/finding something that drives you and believing we’re destined for great things. I think this makes someone intrinsically attractive and I learned that from you. I’m finally doing this for myself and I have to say I’m starting to notice the results.
I gush about you all the time to my friends and love listening to your audio book! I feel like we’re having a conversation! Haha! : )
Take care, handsome…
—
Ursulline
Santa Monica, CA
Ursulline,
That’s the funny thing about an audiobook, you feel so much closer to the author. The good news is that right now we actually are having a conversation lol.
You should get your friends to the blog, we’d love to have them commenting and part of the discussion too!
Speak soon, M x
Matt, you’re my little secret…I can’t give it away until I get the guy!
…on my second run of our conversation! Talk to you soon! ;)
P.S. since you’re here in LA I should get you to sign my book in person?
—
Ursulline,xoxo
hey Matthew,
1- i’m 50 yr old but have followed you since your early days yrs ago on utube
2- Love your dedication!
3- Love the suave white James Bond suit on you !
4- keep up the good work !
5- us older women are your fans tooo! lol
Hey Ann!!!
This made my day. Thank you : ) : )
M x
Splendid job Matt! :D You can really tell that you had so much fun making this video and you have come so far since when you begun with the coaching videos. This time you’re not only a coach, you’re an actor too! And a handsome as the likes of Brad Pitt and George Clooney, if I may say so!
I really liked the the part about emotional vision. I think that’s what’s missing in my life. And starting to write a journal seams like a great idea.
Thank you again (’cause this is not my first comment) for all the great advice and your creative and inspiring way of giving it to us!
You’re very sweet Kamilla. Thankyou for your thoughts, and for commenting in the past. Glad you kee coming back : ) x
Mr Hussey!
I loved this video, especially the detail and obvious planning that went into making this film; you have a great camera guy and you looked very Jay Gatsby in that jacket.
It was both informative and humorous. The martini glasses filled with water made me laugh.
Amelia :)
Hey Amelia!
Great to see you commenting on the blog! So glad you noticed how much went into this video : ). I don’t aways get to plan them out this way but I wanted to really do this one justice.
x
Matt,
Unfortunately, videography is something that I naturally pick up on, I was a production manager for a while and the habit has stuck with me. Your videos are always well framed. The shot variations added a sense of drama. You should definitely be proud of this one and hopefully, you’ll get to do more like this.
x
What I took away from The Great Gatsby, is that you should live life to the fullest and with no regrets. That way you don’t spend your life wondering “what if…” Great video!
Well that’s certainly a great lesson to learn Jessica : ) x
Hey! So, just read your book, love it. I had a life coach a few years ago that told me emotions are fleeting, and that you should make decisions based on hard logic. What do you think of that? Are there certain situations where you should use one or the other?
p.s -You’re gorgeous. Did you ever get a date with that curly haired matchmaker on the show?
LOL Julia, no Tracy and I are just friends. We like to be silly together.
Decisions should always be weighted with rational thinking, but once you’ve made a decision, logic won’t spur you on, emotion will.
M x