If you missed me on The Today Show this morning, here’s the video for you…
(Having trouble viewing the video? Try this link.)
From The Video
“We’ve been dating for two years and are in the process of house-hunting. We haven’t met each other’s family yet, but I suggested that we should before buying a house together. He changes the subject every time I bring it up. What should I do?”
Family seems important to you and less important to him. That can be for one of a few reasons:
The worst reason is that he isn’t really committed. He’s not really house-hunting – he’s just going through the motions of looking at houses – but not wanting to meet your family so as to keep some level of distance from getting too involved.
Another reason might be that he’s lazy. If they’re across the country and he can’t be bothered to make the trip to meet them, there’s another part of him that might not want to do it because of that.
Ultimately the only way you’re really going to know is by asking HIM.
If he keeps avoiding the subject, start asking him why talking about family is making him uncomfortable.
You have to give him the opportunity to give you honest answers.
If you ask a guy, a lot of the time he’ll tell you.
“I recently celebrated my 31st birthday. I have amazing family and friends, but the one thing I’m focused on is that I don’t have anyone to share my life with. I think that when I go on dates or try to meet men I rush things and try to force it to work. I want to get to a place where I’m happy being single and can go on dates and have fun. How do I do that?”
It sounds like right now you associate pain with being single and pleasure with being in a relationship.
There are many people in your life right now who you can celebrate things with – it doesn’t have to be just that one special someone, and there is no reason to give yourself the level of pressure you are to go out and find them.
The tendency to rush things because you want the result is the exact thing that scares guys off, and the way to not rush it is to say to yourself instead, ‘what is it I really want in a guy?’.
I’m sure there are many things you want in a relationship, but when you meet someone, after five minutes you’re currently in a place where you begin to project the relationship you want instead of the reality of what it really is.
Dating is one of the only times in life where we’re the buyer and the seller at the same time.
Right now you’re caught up in viewing yourself as the seller (‘will he want me?’), but I want you to remember you’re the buyer as well.
When you’re in the early stages of dating, focus on whether he’s right for you – and that you won’t necessarily know that for the first few months of a relationship.
Relationships are a beautiful thing, but if you’re not enough without one, you’ll never be enough with one.
I hope you enjoyed the clip!
If you’re in a similar boat to either Trisha or Anne, I would love to see you at one of my upcoming Get The Guy Tour events. I’m going to be distilling everything I have to teach about meeting and attracting your dream guy to just the core essentials you need to go out and make it happen.
Seats are running out FAST. We have a few events *sold out* already, and to make sure you get yours in time, head on over to the events page now where you can find out more about the events and book your place.
I can’t wait to meet you!