There are many reasons not to get your ex back. For example, if he treated you badly, chances are this isn’t a man you should pursue any longer.
However. If you’ve really thought about it, if you feel like you lost a truly great guy, and you aren’t sure what to do next, I need you to see this.
►► Stop Suffering Over Your Ex. Learn the 4 Steps to Get What YOU Want → GetHimOrGetOverHim.com
35 Replies to “Weird: Get Over Him AND Get Him Back?”
Oh my God can’t belive this is this sunday video ! i ve been looking since a week for a video of Matt talking about this hhh and watched many, but this one made it a lot easier for me .. THANK youuuu ! feels lile you reading my mind ! lots of love from #Morocco ( cant imagin how was i alive befor discovring Matthew Hussey hhh) ♡
Matthew, step number 4 only works if the other person actually wants to get back with you.
It’s common sense that if someone looks out for you again, you will make it clear that they need to earn their way back to you, obviously.
But if the other person is in another stage, if they really don’t want to get back together, than how are you going to “make them feel” that they have to earn their way back?
Usually, all these “strategies” you share, one can only apply them if there is a genuine interest on the other side as well. So, what can you tell me about that?
Otherwise, they just won’t care. If it’s not meant to be there’s no real strategy that can change that. Besides, do you really want to build a genuine, authentic and loving relationship based on strategies?
So I have been dating this guy for 11 months. I love him and I know that he loves me. When I first met him he talked about his past relationships and all three were pretty horrible, they were emotionally manipulative and they just tore down his confidence. So we decided to start dating and we fell in love almost immediately. We are both in the military and he ended up being sent to Maryland and I’m in California. Over the past 11 months I have been extremely attentive, always trying to boost his confidence, and make him feel loved so he can work on himself and grow. But he started becoming controlling, he didn’t like me wearing makeup, asking me who I’m trying to look pretty for, he got mad at me when I wore short shorts than I normally wear , saying that I’m looking single. He doesn’t like me looking sexy saying that the only time I should be wearing anything like that should be in bed with him. He’s also would get mad at me if I didn’t text him back quickly enough. I’ve tried introducing him to my guy friends over Skype and getting him to talk with them so he knows them a little. We get into these fights because he would get upset at me hanging out with a guy friend or he would accuse me of not being where I say I am. He would also get upset if I said I had a problem with something he said, instead of addressing the problem he would just get either mad or sad, saying that he’s just a bad boyfriend and he’s a piece of trash and that he doesn’t deserve me. At the end of these arguments he usually apologizes and says that he’s going to change, but it only lasts for about a week. I realized recently that this controlling is because he doesn’t trust me. I know that he’s very depressed in the place that he works and I understand that it’s his first time away from home and I’m far away, but I have spent nearly all of my time attending to him making sure that he knows that I love him and then I’m loyal to him. But it started feeling like I was his crutch and that he expected me to make him happy.
I broke up with him a couple weeks ago. I explained why I’m breaking up and I told him everything that had been bothering me that I told him about. He told me that I was just giving up on him, and that I don’t really care about him. I’m starting to think that he wasn’t ready to date when he met me but wasn’t willing to pass up the opportunity to be with me. I also think that it’s in a maturity issue. But despite all of this I know that he’s a really good guy and I still really want to be with him. I’m deploying in June for 9 to 12 months. I was thinking about telling him how I feel before I left, but I’m not sure whether I should do that before I leave or after I come back. I guess my question is how long does one wait for someone to grow and heal before coming back to them to try again. also, how do you help someone you care about get out of his past? Although he denies it, I feel like when he comes at me like that he’s coming at his past, everything that he had an issue with was from his past relationships. His EX’s World lot of makeup, wear skimpy clothing, went to parties, and two of the three cheated on him. Is there even a way for me to help him he’ll or is it something he has to do on his own?
Best one yet. Thank you. He wont stop wanting me. I took him back 5 times. The pain and disappointment only escalated. He still tells me he loves me. I tell him i will always love him however we are not good together. Co dependent and wrong.
Great video, Matt. The analogy of the distance between the net and the sky is very clever. And you’re right, the key to either get him back or to get over him is truly the same strategy: focus on rebuilding your life so you can be that attractive, high value woman. Very timely for me since I recently ended my long-term relationship; it’s been really tough, but I’m getting there. Thanks for all you do, Matt! xo
All I want to say to you right now is you are one an inspiration to a lot of women but for me you are are a healer too. I have stopped or looking for a person after I took divorce 3 years back from. A drug addict, I am just scared to be hurt again. Everything has fallen apart, my mother is sick, my brother is in rehab and I lost my father 30 years back and icing on the cake no job basically I don’t know how am. I writing but words are just coming out. Hope is thr but I won’t say much. I am from Pakistan (lahore) may God give you all the happiness, health, family n some good friends. Ameen
Wow, this is by far my favourite video of yours. So relevant to my tiny brain. It’ is also Fun, Timely and a welcome lesson in improving my sporting skills.
Thanks to you and your Team. I love your professionalism.
I NEVER post comments after the videos no matter how good I think they are, but I have to say: When I saw the gazillion men on the other side of the net floating down from the sky, IT OPENED MY EYES! I understood exactly how many men there are out there and how I’m limiting myself by focusing on a man who is a great guy, but won’t commit or care a lot about my needs. After recently breaking up, yet again, I can see that it’s ok now! I’m changing my focus and fighting to keep it on more important parts of my life….and the fact that there are all those other super guys on the other side of that net! (Possibly not floating out of the sky, but they’re out there nonetheless!) Really liked that video, Matt! Thanks
Dear Katrina! You asked ” How long does one wait for someone to grow and heal Before I leave or after I came back ? My boyfriend say EXCATLY the same thing that your bf , he is gonna change…but that only last a couple of weeks. I ´m like you ,the one who want to help. I can tell you that I have been in this situation since 2014. I love him very much , but I know that he NEVER EVER are going to change because he is a NARCISSIST. J had try many times to brake up , but he is like a drug-addiction to my brain. My best advice to you Katrina RUN AWAY and have NO CONTACT ! His ex girlfriend is still waiting for him since 2006, to grow up and heal , and she are so heartbroken and her life is all about waiting for him to change.We are friends and she still don´t know why he left her. I have to tell her that she haven´t done anything wrong. She still love him , and he still have contact with her when I brake up , we have a On and off relation because I can´t leave him . Stay out of this kind of mess if you can!Don´t wait for him.
Really worth watching!!
Get over my ex boyfriend
He is investing low. But I want him.
Here is the thing. We met & talked for 2 months every week. I was clear of what I want from the first date. He was into me but he never did physically things like tounching my hands etc. Sometimes moved Closer to me when we were next to each other. After 2 months I wanted him to be clear about us. He said he would think and decide. Then he said we have different exprrtations for life and we stayed as friends. We met as friends. He was super kind. But I want him so bad. What should I do?
Shift focus/perspective results in energy/frequency alterations in a way which opens your intangible grip releasing him from your claws.. he will gasp in relief and feel the lightness(which is liberating for you both) and the shift and therefore leaving him nothing to Rebel against as Matthew says. Brilliant tennis illustration!
How are you?
Thank you so much for all your good advice. I really appreciate it. I have your book ‘get the guy’ and program ‘keep the guy’ and it has been very helpful.
Unfortunately I broke up with my boyfriend. Therefore I am considering ordering your program get him running back to you but I am not sure yet because I think I may have blew it already. Hoping you can give me some of your advice. So here’s my situation:
We broke up last week Thursday over the phone while I was at work. The same evening he called me twice, the next day he called me twice again after which I decided to give him a call back. We had a good conversation about the break up. We ended it on a good note although it was very hurtful for us both. At the end of the conversation he mentioned that he had bought me a gift that he still wanted to give me. That Friday night he called me – again – and asked me if he could come over to which I said yes. (In hindsight I knew I should not have said that).
This felt so good that the next morning at the breakfast table, I asked him if we maybe made the decision to break up too soon and if it would be a good idea to stop seeing each other for a month to think about everything and then after 1 month of no contact reconsider our relationship. (Again, in hindsight I knew I should not have said that). He said he needed to think about that. This was obviously very hurtful for me.
We agreed to see each other Monday evening again so he could give me that gift he bought me, get his stuff back and give me my key back, and that then he would give me an answer to the ‘1-month-break-proposal‘.
On Monday evening he acted like nothing happened; giving me a hug and a kiss. When we were about to have dinner, I asked him what his answer was. As you can expect, his answer was that he didn’t know for sure if after a month his decision on breaking up would be any different. As hurt as I was, I cried and said that his answer only showed that he’d never really loved me (and again, in hindsight I knew I should not have said that). I asked him to leave and right at the moment he was at my doorstep he said he wanted to do the 1-month-break-proposal to which I said that the only reason why you want this now is because now you need to say goodbye and it’s very hard.
He left the apartment but stayed at the square in front of my apartment building signing me with his hands that he loved me. That’s the last time I saw him. It’s now exactly one week ago. We didn’t talk, text or see each other again since then.
So now my question is Matthew do you think that even though I lost my cool and I somehow tried to convince him to continue the relationship, there is a possibility that I can get him running back to me after all of this? I’m very curious about and in need of your advice.
Thank you so much.
I apologize in advance if my writing is not that good, English is not my first language.
It´s been 2 weeks since my ex broke up with me. His reason: he saw a text my cousin sent me, where she sent me a pic from a facebook post where his sister captioned ¨stay with someone how sees you like I see my brother¨, my cousin wrote : i haven´t even meet her and I dont like her. My answer to that was: Well, do not worry too much since i don like her much either.
I know how this looks but I will explain why I didn´t like her:
*They give me this ¨bitch look¨ face, of course when was not looking.
*They made comments out loud of how because of me his brother sometimes refused to do things with them (he has 2 sisters)
*They use to tell me stories of how great their relationship was and how there couldn´t be any other relationship in the world that could match theirs!
*His mother use to provoke him, telling him she was dating various guys since she knew this would make him jealous.
Inspite all of this when we were together we were great ! but he would never say anything to his sisters and I use to let things pass since i knew how important his sisters where to him.
I know that if he would care for me he would have said something, but I do not understand how if we were such a good couple….(he use to mention this all the time)…he could let go of me that easily.
I subscribe to one of your programs and it is really helping me, but i just would like to know why if he saw so many things in me that were so important to him ……he would let go without even trying to understand why I was feeling that way.
Could you give some insight????
I had a boyfriend called luca and he break up with me. And i want him back and i need your help really bad because i miss him so much. And or get over him
I was seeing someone for 4 years he kept me stuck on him as soon as I was getting over him he’d come back and make me feel like he wanted me then he’s gone for a days a week or till whenever he wanted to see me, but I can’t continue to do that to my self, plus he’s dating other women
Broke up with my ex two months ago. He had broken up with me three times in which I took him
Back he has not called me and as stupid as this sounds I wanted him to fight for me but he hasn’t tried. I feel maybe I made a knee jerk move and should have waited not sure. The no contact rule here hasn’t not workes.
I’m not getting the email…
Can staff maybe send it to me?
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