Feel Like Sh*t? Go for a Tiny Victory

Are you struggling today? Does it feel like the universe has dealt you a s**tty hand?

If the answer is yes, then let’s talk….

Let’s Celebrate the Small Stuff Together. What’s Your Tiny Victory?
Leave a Comment Below…

Being at the top of your game. Peak performance. Maximizing your potential. Being the best you could be. Living your best life. Nothing could feel more off your radar when you’re in a place of depression, deep anxiety, deep hurt. When you are feeling shit. I’m interested in that person today. Not how do I get you to live an extraordinary life, how do we transform you? But how do we start celebrating the tiny victories? Because I believe that when you’re in that state and when everything in your life I know the feeling everything in your life feels tinged with pain or hurt or darkness, nothing, literally there is nothing you want to do. When you’re in that state, eating breakfast feels like a big deal, going and taking a shower, simply getting out of bed feels like a huge thing. Forget the rest of the day because when you’re in the place that I’m talking about right now, the rest of the day feels like a marathon.

You can’t even process getting through the rest of the day, so let’s not focus on that. Let’s focus on the next 20 minutes after you watch this video. So what could you do in the next 20 minutes? Feed your body something healthy. Do something physical. Even if it’s something small. Read a page of a book that you feel might nourish you. You don’t even have to guarantee that it will. Don’t obsess over what book it is. This book might help. Read one page instead of looking at social media or whatever else might not help you. It could be watching a video, a video you’ve proactively chosen because you believe it might inspire you or it might spark an idea or it might have you think about something differently. Or maybe you feel like everything I’m talking about right now, even the smallest things, are too much.

Then great, do fucking nothing. Take the next few minutes to sit there and do nothing but do nothing slightly better than you normally do. Decide for a couple of minutes, “I’m going to put that problem to one side while I get really mindful about my breath and if I feel it coming back, I’m just going to note it and then get back to my breath.” Just training your mind and your focus on your breath for a couple of minutes is a tiny victory. It’s a form of training your focus. And by the way, this isn’t just about doing things in the next 20 minutes that could create tiny victories. I also want you to think about what tiny victories have already happened today. I want you to find a five minutes from today where you felt neutral because those things are reference points. Those things become these little hooks of potential on which you hang this sense that things can be better. This idea that it can be better.

If five minutes today was okay, was neutral, let’s make more of those minutes. Let’s worry about creating another five minutes like that. And what we’ll begin to do is create some small momentum. It doesn’t mean you won’t backslide, doesn’t mean you won’t feel pain again, doesn’t mean you might not feel it again tonight. But let’s create more of those minutes. Today, give yourself a break from the big shit and all the things that you wish you could be doing if you could only feel better or whatever.

Let’s start with the most humble, modest, nothing things that may to everyone else seem like it’s ridiculous to celebrate that, but we will because we’re celebrating the tiny victories. What’s a tiny victory that you didn’t celebrate today that you should? Something that if you are embarrassed at how small it is, write in the comments, I want to read it. And if you can’t think of anything, take the next 20 minutes or even the next five and do something to create that tiny victory, and leave me a comment letting me know what that thing is. I’ll see you guys next week.

160 Responses to Feel Like Sh*t? Go for a Tiny Victory

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  1. Ingrid Plathner says:

    Gratitude for everything I have & for my own body doing the best it can to sustain me ! Ate healthy.

  2. Ingrid Plathner says:

    I DO feel like shit & I SO appreciate this! Thank you, Matt. Going to take a shower & change the sheets! That always makes me feel better-fresh sheets!

  3. Sandra says:

    Best video ever. Thank you

  4. LH says:

    Allowed myself to do nothing.

  5. L says:

    I ate healthy and I smiled watching this video

  6. Victoria Yoon says:

    One of my biggest victories was when I finished my first book. It was something I’d wanted to do forever. But that was when I discovered the people in my life that were my real friends. They were disinterested, unwilling to discuss it, didn’t want to read it. I did eventually self publish. However, I found that when I looked for it amongst the other books of its kind I could never find it. I could find it, however, when I searched with its name. But how does that help when no one know my book exists? I’ve found most of my victories have been like this. What am I suppose to do?

  7. Ivy says:

    I deleted his number from my phone so I won’t feel tempted to contact him

  8. Liga says:

    Its this video ! Smile)

  9. Alice says:

    Washed face, put on lip balm

  10. Martina says:

    I cleaned my PC for 5 minutes in work.

  11. Cory says:

    Thanks for the reminder. It was a tough day… but it wasn’t without some success. I got to promote a wonderful lady into a opportunity that I think will be a great investment for her and those we work with. Yep… the other of several setbacks and long hours at the desk are just a little easier to cope with on reflection. Nobody said it was going to be easy!

  12. Tuhina says:

    It sounds like a small thing but I have several health conditions which make me feel rubbish on a daily basis but I get up and go because I am grateful for each and every second I’m here…last week I developed an infection which knocked me for six and I had to call in sick to work. Hate doing that! I’m a nurse and I love my work so my tiny victory was going to work despite being unwell and on antibiotics but making it through the day and helping the people I could. When you see just how much other people are suffering you soon realise you’re not suffering you’re just feeling emotions which is still hard. Celebrate your lives ladies…think about one thing that made you smile and smile again! Thank you Matthew for your words and passion-it makes me feel lucky to be a woman to have you reach out to us! Tuhina Xxx

  13. Kelly DiSabatino says:

    I struggle everyday not to be so sad. The saddest is overwhelming. No one around me knows how truly bad it is. I opened my window and listened to the birds

  14. Tara B Lewis says:

    Powerful Matthew. Thank you so much. Thank you for going outside of the usual dating coach Mantra I’m really getting to the heart of the matter. As a single woman recently divorced trying to celebrate just a tiny victories each moment each second this video spoke volumes. I Hold On To The Promise that I will be loved truly loved by the one that I was supposed to have the first time around I know he’s out there and I’m living my life being the best me that I can be waiting hoping and making myself available to meet him thank you.

  15. Kim says:

    Love this :) It may be a small and simple thing, but I meditated for the first time in a long time – quietly , peacefully and alone this morning. It gave some reflection time and some huge insights on ‘who’ and ‘what’ there is to appreciate in life. Also,I realized, (congratulating my logical mind by the way, which can sometimes be quite negatively charged) that with every knock down, there is always an opportunity to make the most of the situation. To put these thoughts and feelings into words is a moment in my day that I am ultimately Thankful for. The crushing stress suddenly feels slightly lighter and the energy shift is a welcomed one! Thx Matt :D

  16. Robyn says:

    I got the dog walked and breakfast made and to work on time. Today that was a tiny victory because sometimes things just feel sucky.

  17. Traci says:

    I’ve been in this “place” you described for far too long…Years. It’s nice to read a helpful article that actually applies to a state of mind that no one wants to admit to. Thank you, Matthew.

  18. Phillane Brown says:

    I made it thru the day with my 3 young Grandsons here. Babysitting daily is no joke… especially when you dont feel like doing anything at all…they are my small victory. They get me up out of my bed. Grandma life…

  19. Z says:

    Thank you for this video Matthew! It feels like I have a big brother listening to you even though I’m older than you. I recently recovered from a severe relapse of depression so I know just how important those tiny victories are (e.g. getting out of bed, making it to work, showering). Unfortunately my boyfriend broke up with me just as I recovered almost a month ago. Today I was in my head about how I was missing him and feeling sorrowful (distinctly different than depression!).

    I forgot about my victories today. I actually went zip lining at one of the world’s 10 best zip lines and all I could think about was how much I wanted to share the experience with my ex. I discounted the fact that I went and the victory that is to “fly” across a jungle and how freeing it was. It was a big victory and it was easier than getting out of bed when I suffered from depression. Now I am also present to the little victories that added up and helped me get out of depression too, and I know I’ll be alright.

  20. Jocelyn Framcisco says:

    My tiny victories todayincludes: bathing my japanese spitz dog, serving a healthy breakfast for the family and watering my precious plants.

  21. Mika says:

    After watching a few movies over the weekend, I felt myself yearning for something more in my relationships. I don’t know nor can I explain what it was, but I found myself opening up again to the possibility of love again, as cheesy as that sounds. I’ve been closed off for a while and not really looking or actively searching but now I just feel more open to it.

  22. Florence says:

    Hie Mathew ….to mention a few os some of tiny victory so far is that l have been able to work away form the things was causing so much pain And less self respect….to cut the long story short …..my partner whom l have been with him for five years used to control ams so abusive to me .at first l ddint see it clearly in thos early years antil he rock me outside jits because l went out with my friend…since he doesn’t agree with me having my friends over or anywhere …as a couple we were sleeping separetes place. When l cook a a dinner early .he used not to eat because according to him the food has gone cold .we didnt seeing eye to eye..l lost the spark on him that lead to whenever he wants sex ..l was not contributing or engange myself as far as sex life is concern because of how he treated me .eventuarly l saw myself losing myself juts to please him ….then l realising this is not l how one should treat onther after l have been watching yout videos..email as well as your advices ..till the day l dicided that l can do better without him ….now its has been two months now ..am HAPPY. Even though He is asking me back …….coming to my working place…..trying so hard. ..but in my mind l know that l have moved on ..no more caming back

  23. Kathleen Bonder says:

    Hi Matthew. I seen your video. I was on pof app and was discoutaged. Nothing what a waist of money. So mow i connected to match. Dating site. I connected to one man that helld my interest. He connected to me first. Now nothing. No response back. Its ok. He may be not the right one for me. His loss lol. I don’t go out and o know your not comfortable on dating app’s. But i don’t feel i have a choice on connecting to someone. This is crazy

  24. Esther says:

    I moved into a new place, lost who i thought is my soulmate and only slept 3 hours ridden with fear and anxiety- today I emptied six more boxes… small victories! Needed this

  25. Sabrina says:

    Thank you for this topic♥️
    These days I am glad that I am taking a walk every day- even if it is just half an hour-or cooking a tiny lunch, etc.
    I try to practice self-care like talking to myself like I would talk to a friend. Which is not easy but I try.
    Doing Pilates again, seeing friends, etc.
    I feel like I am getting better and wanna start dating again but as you talk about attraction in some of your videos I guess my current life looks boring to men so I am not sure how to deal with this situation right now.
    Am I not „allowed“ to date after all that I have been through?
    Do I really have to get my life completely back together before I start (successful) dating again?
    I wanna believe that I deserve love but I don‘t know how to deal with this „attraction-thing“ in this situation right now

  26. KC says:

    I got out of bed and had coffee and listened to the birds chirping. It was a big deal for me. Thank you

  27. Laia Marcelino says:

    Well, i had breakfast. Even tho im not feeling like a morning in spring, im not hungry and i know that im lucky because i had a jam and cheese sandwich. Hey you know what they say, you cant think properly with an empty stomach.

  28. Karen says:

    Big victories…..read a great article on Japanese koans, called my mom to say “hi” and heading out for a 15 minute walk before I begin work!

  29. Cat Reen says:

    I got myself up and ready and I took my little dog to the vets for his operation…

  30. Suzanne says:

    Hi Matt

    Well i’m At my partner an my used to be home. I say used to be cause I have moved most of my things out. I am trying to not be a bumble bee, you know that part of us that gets angry stings someone we love and then those actions kill us. I moved out cause after 3.5 years together I am unhappy. I’ve had one birthday celebrated, been given flowers not my favourite once without telling him to buy and unfortunately my gf told me of a moment my spouse cheated on me a year and a half ago. I don’t know what to do. If I confront it will be a fight, if I say nothing, it will just be another incident where I stuff my feelings down.
    But today I had my coffee took my vitamins watched your video and am setting up my day to achieve some goals on my to do list while i’m Out here picking up clothes. Thanks the video helped

  31. Rosey Huntington says:

    Wow! Matthew literally knows ( that place )

    I celebrate just being able to watch this Video. It really reaches out to where I’m at right now . Thankyou Matthew .

  32. Cat says:

    I drank some water before coffee

  33. Elizabeth says:

    Week 8 into the deepest hurt I have ever felt, needed medication to get through the first few weeks. In the last week I have definitely begun to improve. Today’s small victory is doing a 18 minute HIIT rowing workout. Now on session 5 of a month’s program. It is becoming a habit!

  34. Kandy says:

    I live with my boyfriend and I’m not happy because we don’t go anywhere just stay home get high I told him I don’t want that anymore

  35. Cathrine says:

    Very true feeling reached the end when I was very sick thinking if could get through it.And yes I did smthing for my family cooked dinner and they all enjoyed it!

  36. Kaedee Fythe says:

    Paying attention to my breath #TinyVictory

  37. Meghann says:

    I pulled myself out of bed at 4pm and took a shower. Faked my way through a Father’s Day dinner then came back home to bed.

  38. Connie says:

    Thank you, just thank you. I love your relationship advice, but these are exactly what I need right now. Every move I make, sh*t just happens. It’s like you’re reading my mind. Please post more like this.

  39. Linda says:

    This is so my day today

  40. Valerie L. says:

    After a few rough months, the words of this video hit the right note for me. Thank you. Tiny victories is my thought of the day, and cleaning my foyer, was the big accomplishment for the day. It may now seem like much, but it’s set my mood each time I entered the house.
    Now if I can put into action a plan of action for other areas of my life, that have been feeling stalled. Progress over perfection!

  41. Lee Rubinfeld says:

    My victory today was to watch my lecture video movie that I created for a psychiatric grand rounds that I lecturedfor downstate medical center in bklyn ny. The doctors filmed it and it’s on I tunes pod cast entitled creativity and resiliency in the holocaust I did it in March 16 2016 and dedicated to my parents who were holocaust survivors I got a standing ovation from 150 medical students and psychiatrists and my staff I had forgotten what I had achieved My mother psssed away a few months prior to my lecture and I was soo profoundly sad but I sensed her presence during my lecture especially when I told her story I’m remembering how I accomplished a huge goal for me It made me feel better but I miss my mother every day I know she would have been very proud of me my name is Lee ( my full name is Francine Lee Rubinfeld) my lecture reminded me of how I can be resilient too

  42. Jessica says:

    Today, I called my Dad, for Father’s Day. We talked about good things from my childhood, and the grandkids he has at his house right now; family. Then, i called my sister. We talked about practically everything, good and bad; and, i was able to set some of my emotional challenges out in such a way that i could approach them more effectively. It wasnt as overwhelming to try to fix, as it tends to be/feel like when im alone. Logic is difficult when emotions are all-encompassing, and feel insurmountable in magnitude; engulfing.

  43. Any Veira says:

    Well, today as I was lying on the couch, scratching my… head, I was talking to a friend who is going through a similar moment. The difference is that she had already had a moment like this in the past. And as I was listening to her and listening REALLY LISTENING to what I was saying, I realized so many things. 1. I waste so much time destroying and feeling sorry for myself instead of investing time on building myself up. 2. Life has told me three times already that I have to start giving, just for the sake of giving. 3. I have to value my own time and life cause if don’t the minute a guy walks into my life I’ll stop doing my things again. 4. I don’t pay attention to God’s messages even though I constantly pester him about giving me 5. I need to stop expecting things to happen my way and stop expecting bad things to happen and let life surprise me. 6. Living in fear won’t let me listen to what life has to say… phew I think it was a huge victory, to have some clarity in the middle of so many thoughts and loose information, to be aware. It will definitely let me sleep tonight. I wrote a book, thanks for reading though xoxox

  44. Lakshmi says:

    You are not going to like this. My tiny victory is watching this video to the end. I can be a champion at snapping sometimes. But watching to the end gave me an insight of what I am and I reasoned out why I wanted to stop the video. Becoming a better person via awareness sucks. The thought that went through my head was, I don’t want to hear this motivation, I’m a bloody motivated person already (This is a problem with most driven people I think). Then as I continued to watch, it helped me understand that someone cares. That’s another frustration, you are just an image. But you are pretty convincing. Forget all that, the colour of your shirt is one of my favourites. I had a dress of that colour and it was my favourite. I guess I started liking that colour because of how I felt wearing it. But sadly that dress went missing :(

  45. Alex Wilkinson says:

    I got out of bed today. That’s my victory. Even though writing it makes me feel like shit because I should of done more but I couldn’t.

  46. Jessica says:

    I didn’t cry today

  47. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for this video today, I really needed to hear this message. My tiny victory today was stretching for five minutes before taking a nap. I haven’t been sleeping well for the past few weeks due to health issues, but I actually felt mildly refreshed when I stretched. Thank you for helping me remember that.

  48. Marlene says:

    Dear Mathew,

    Thank you so much for this video I have been dealing with anxiety and depression for the past 3 weeks my life all the sudden went down the drain , my job has been stressing me up, my parents always have some type of judgment against me , my car broke down so my AC hasn’t been working and In SA , Texas it’s literally 100 degrees, , my boyfriend just told me he loved me and also told me that he needs time apart because he got cold feet all of the sudden, so yeah I been having the worst few weeks of my life and thanks to your video today i took the time to look in the mirror to breathe in and out and saw my self differently today I feel more at peace and relaxed so thank you .

  49. Carolina Moreno says:

    I ate a healthy homemade meal consisting of checken, beans, and vegetables. I feel its a victory because healthy meals like this will help me lose weight, which is a long term goal I have.

  50. Lolita Opasinov says:

    Thank you Matthew lm going to get out of bed and go for a walk and re focus …..
    As you see lve been out of a job for the last 4 weeks and this is the 2nd time in the last 6 months that this has happened to me …..

  51. Sam says:

    Thank you Matthew, this is exactly what I needed to hear x

  52. Hilda says:

    I cant stop crying!! You dont have idea how much it’s help me this video right now!! I need To start think in me just in me and what i need To be happy by my self!! Tank you MH you are the best!!

  53. Gayl says:

    Thank you. My tiny victory was watching your thoughts this morning. Having permission to just sit without doing anything, or beating myself up for feeling this way was a great start to my day. I am consumed by grief, and just doing nothing, without trying to make myself function, was a break for me.

  54. Sophie Dounias says:

    I felt like utter shit today but I listened to your video & recall watching my two little ones play in the garden with bubbles. They were so happy in that moment & for once it was sunny in the UK. That was my happy mini victory today. Thank you for reminding me to celebrate these small moments, no matter how grey the day may be x

  55. Natalie powtan says:

    I celebrate when he block me from WhatsApp today it helps me to focus on things that are important to me and help me to make up my mind on what I really want in life

  56. Kerryn says:

    I’m amazed at how you just get it! And how you put it was bang on. U r epic!

    I’m still here, bah ha ha!(every day is a bonus) and I know this feeling will pass. I know I’ll get going & make the most of the day. If I do my day, put a smile on my face and get to the gym before I know it I’ll be feeling good :) seems to work. If I can do something small to help others that’s awesome – makes my day :). Keep doing what you do, u are the best!- you have a gift :)

  57. Claire says:

    I’m proud that I didn’t drink today to blot out the pain in my life. Thank you for this video Matthew – it will make a big difference to so many people x

  58. Jasmine says:

    I watched this video and it halted my spiral down – I might not be going back up yet but it stopped me tracking down – thank you

  59. Heidi Tavares says:

    After watching your video, I felt seen. I have been seen today.

  60. Ninamarie says:

    I managed to be fun and flirty with a guy I fell deeply for while we discussed us not seeing each other anymore.

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